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Birth control..what do I do? - 10/5/2008 4:01:53 PM
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everjoyful
Posts: 126
Joined: 1/4/2007
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Please reserve judgements etc. I know my actions and all the arguments and scriptures concerned. I have no christian women to turn to and I really need some advice.
In brief here's what has happened in the past and my concerns.
Been on a long list of combined pills--suffered extreme pms verging on violent hysterical and suicidal.
Been on mini pills that cause weight gain and hair loss.
I now have a copper iud. I have bled five months straight , I don't feel good in any way about this thing.
My husband wont get a vasectomy.
My husband hates condoms.
my husband hates my pms. also he is not a christian.
I cannot face the thought of getting my tubes tied...just doesn't feel right.
Really don't want/cannot afford to get pregnant. One of our children has a genetic disease (cystic fibrosis.)
My last pregnancy was so painful physically and emotionally all the way through and ended with a c section.
What do I/can I do? Are there fertility methods that are infallible?
Would prayer help would God to get doctor to find me a pill that doesn't make me psycho , so then we could use a condom or abstain for the five days or so around ovulation time. Or would god answer prayers to make dh less opposed to the condom?
I feel so awful and don't know what to do. I want to be well and safe (non violent and suicidal)and definately not pregnant.
anyone?
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john 14 v27...do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.
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RE: Birth control..what do I do? - 10/5/2008 5:08:42 PM
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clag4christ
Posts: 2633
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From: We just moved to the big state of Texas!
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Well...firstly...I'm sorry that you and your dh don't see eye to eye on this subject. Secondly IUD's can cause spontaneous abortions to occur. Have you looked into Natural Family Planning at all? There's a fantastic book out there called Taking Charge of Your Fertility that could help educate you on that possibility for conception control.
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<-----Jael as Tinkerbell - Halloween 2008
If you don't want people to insult your intelligence; don't make it so obvious that you have none.
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RE: Birth control..what do I do? - 10/5/2008 7:13:09 PM
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Sideways
Posts: 3939
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Are diaphragms out of the picture? They wouldn't help with PMS, though. I think other ladies here would have better advice for natural PMS relief.
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RE: Birth control..what do I do? - 10/5/2008 9:12:31 PM
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OneOfHisJewels
Posts: 2940
Joined: 8/9/2007
From: California
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Everjoyful, there are many non-abortive types of contraception besides just what you mentioned in your post. We're really not supposed to go into great detail here, because we have participants on the forum under age 18..but if you go to www.themarriagebed.com, they should have all kinds of information for you.
I am very sorry to hear you have a child with CF. I know that is a tough disease for the whole family, as well as the child. Have you read Frank Deford's book about his little girl called Alex, the life of a child? We have a parenting folder here on the forums, and there is a support thread for special needs parents..you might like to join it.
I know this next thing will sound weird, but for me, both dairy products and pamprin really help with bad pms and bad cramps.
< Message edited by OneOfHisJewels -- 10/5/2008 10:38:43 PM >
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RE: Birth control..what do I do? - 10/5/2008 10:36:57 PM
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sharonjef2007
Posts: 645
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My suggestion would also be to play around with your diet to see if some items you are eating may be helping that along. For me, dairy helps me emotionally, but adds to my cramping. Refined sugars and caffeine are the WORST! Keeping a regular exercise routine and keeping hydrated have also helped me a ton. Simple thing, but they may at least help to take the edge off.
As for the BC....I have learned and I guess am slowly coming to the realization that as long as I am married and having sex, pregnancy is a threat. Until one of us has surgery or I go through menopause.
Have you talked to your doctor about your options? If the IUD is causing problems, you may want to see what else is out there. Leah's shield is a decent option too if you don't want to worry about getting fitted for a diaphram. Some docs are not as good at is as others.
Just a few suggestions! It sounds like you have a ton going on. I pray God allows you to settle your family without giving you any more children for the moment.
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RE: Birth control..what do I do? - 10/6/2008 9:49:18 PM
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feesha
Posts: 41
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Have you tried different brands or types of condoms (LifeStyle)? DH and I used to hate them also but we kept looking and are both happy now. Sorry, I hope that's not TMI but I went through a c-section too and am terrified of getting pregnant again and went through BC woes myself.
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RE: Birth control..what do I do? - 10/7/2008 7:16:55 AM
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everjoyful
Posts: 126
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Thankyou all.
according to the marriage bed...iuds are not primarily abortificants.... the fact that a fertilised egg may not settle is a final action of the iud (if all else has failed.) The fact that an egg may be fertilised and lost is far less likely than the amount of fertilised eggs that are lost naturally as the iud prevents fertilisation in the first place. (I looked this up before I got one---I am however still not 100% happy with the idea.)
Anyhow it's obviouse my body wants it out. I have a docs appt today.
Like some of you have suggested I may have to keep going through trial and error with pill brands and try diet and stuff to deal with the pms.
I love the idea of Fam but I am very irregular and really do not want to get pregnant.
Will see what the doc has to say about it all. Will also be praying alot before I go.
_____________________________
john 14 v27...do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.
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RE: Birth control..what do I do? - 10/7/2008 7:36:58 AM
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MrsTracy72
Posts: 2060
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quote:
ORIGINAL: everjoyful
My husband wont get a vasectomy.
My husband hates condoms.
my husband hates my pms. also he is not a christian.
I just wonder why your husband won't get a vasectomy if he hates condoms, hates your PMS and knows that standard birth control doesn't really work for you. The only way to totally prevent a pregnancy without surgery and not even that is 100 percent, is to abstain. You are not really supposed to deny him that, but if you are irregular and NFP is not an option, and neither of you want another baby, that is the only way that will guarantee you don't get pregnant. Second best way is the vasectomy. I didn't want to get my tubes tied either, and I have had PMDD issues. For that, I ended up taking Sarafem which is basically prozac and it did work, but I didn't like the side affects, I played with my diet and added calcium and B vitamins which helps a bit, but in the end, hubby had the vasectomy because all that does is cut off the supply of babymaking materials when for a woman to have surgery it is a longer recovery and then there are all of the hormonal issues. We are happy and have our three kids. He was off of work for a day and sore for just a couple of days which is alot better than having a more invasive procedure on me.
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RE: Birth control..what do I do? - 10/7/2008 7:58:20 AM
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Sideways
Posts: 3939
Joined: 4/12/2005
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quote:
ORIGINAL: everjoyful
I love the idea of Fam but I am very irregular and really do not want to get pregnant.
NFP can work with irregular periods, because you know when you are fertile, it's not the rhythm method, but it's still not a good fit for you, as you would have to either abstain for a week or more around your fertile time or you'd have to use protection. It doesn't sound like either method would be acceptable to your husband.
_____________________________
This warranty does not include shark bites, bear attacks and children under five.
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RE: Birth control..what do I do? - 10/8/2008 7:13:15 PM
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agapetos
Posts: 5554
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: This side of the lil duck pond!
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quote:
ORIGINAL: OneOfHisJewels
quote:
The only way to totally prevent a pregnancy without surgery and not even that is 100 percent, is to abstain.
I think most people who have had hysterectomies have found them quite effective.  I realize, though, that you have to have health issues for that-doctors won't give that for birth control alone. I don't know if the OP will qualify or not for that.
Women can become pregnant after a hysterectomy, unless the ovaries are removed too. I'd suspect there would be few doctors who would recommend such a major surgery to ensure there are no further pregnancies ~ and given the op doesn't feel right about being sterilised, I doubt she would feel comfortable about this.
Having said that, there are other options that you may want to look into, including injections and small rod implants in your arm (they can be removed easily I understand.
Also, an alternative to a hysterectomy would be an edometrial ablation. There are various methods, but they all destroy the lining of the uterus. Again, as with a hysterectomy, ectopic pregnancies are a risk, but there are far fewer side effects from this than a hysterectomy ~ including that the majority can be carried out under a local and recovery time is minimal (instead of weeks. There are some threads about it here and here and there are some links to other sites that will give more information.
I do think, as others have said, that it's worth you looking at your diet and exercise routine too. I know that it can seem like a mountain, but it can make a huge difference.
Also, if your doctor hasn't already checked, it may be worth you asking if there could be any other underlying medical conditions that could be causing your heavy periods.
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RE: Birth control..what do I do? - 10/8/2008 7:15:53 PM
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agapetos
Posts: 5554
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: This side of the lil duck pond!
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quote:
From what the OP said it doesn't sound like she *never* wants to have another child again I'd have thought that sentance was saying she didn't want to have another baby ~ especially when you add her comment about her husband's refusal to get a vasectomy.
quote:
Really don't want/cannot afford to get pregnant.
_____________________________
I could give up chocolate ~ but I'm no quitter!
My blog
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RE: Birth control..what do I do? - 10/8/2008 8:09:29 PM
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momma_bee
Posts: 1324
Joined: 4/12/2005
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I have had success with evening primrose oil. I have moderate cramping, but the moods are awful.
I have found that when I take it, I am suprised to start when I did because it evened out my bodies cues.
Do you think that BC is making the PMS worse?
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RE: Birth control..what do I do? - 10/8/2008 8:15:51 PM
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prolifepj
Posts: 723
Joined: 9/12/2008
From: just over yonder
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quote:
ORIGINAL: everjoyful
Been on a long list of combined pills--suffered extreme pms verging on violent hysterical and suicidal.
anyone?
Won't help with birth control - but have you considered reflexology for your PMS - in many, many, many, many, many cases I've seen it work WONDERS - sounds crazy maybe, but worth a shot!
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Sho nuff honey chile - Smile, it makes people wonder what you're up to!
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RE: Birth control..what do I do? - 11/10/2008 10:53:23 AM
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ChelaW
Posts: 154
Joined: 7/30/2008
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quote:
ORIGINAL: everjoyful
Would prayer help would God to get doctor to find me a pill that doesn't make me psycho , so then we could use a condom or abstain for the five days or so around ovulation time. Or would god answer prayers to make dh less opposed to the condom?
This is the one issue that no one really addressed: of course prayer could help! I'm single, and don't really know much about the medical issues and birth control, but when all else fails (or even before it gets to that point) PRAY!! God can and will solve this problem, be it through guiding you to the right method for you or giving your DH a change-of-heart (in more ways than one ).
I think the ladies gave some really good responses to your question. I believe that along with prayer, you will have a solution.
I wish you the best, Everjoyful!!
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)...just that she doesn't think that she and her husband can afford one right at this moment.
