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Blue Christmas service - 10/26/2008 2:40:27 PM
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the_mom
Posts: 37
Joined: 11/9/2006
From: Seattle, WA
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I've been called to create a "blue Christmas" service for those who have lost loved ones, been divorced, are separated from their families, or for whatever reason are not "in the Christmas spirit." For them, the happiness and celebration of family, etc., are painful. I've been there myself.
Anyway, have you had such a service in your own church, and do you have any suggestions for me? I'm still researching right now, and I'll be grateful for the benefit of other people's experiences. What worked. What didn't work.
My initial thoughts are to have a quiet service that focuses on how God decided to be with us in the most vulnerable form -- as a baby born into poverty. He chose to be with us and experience want, grief, worry, loss, and all the things we are experiencing that bring us to this "blue" Christmas service.
I will stop practicing my sermon now and wait for all your excellent ideas.
Thanks
the_mom
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RE: Blue Christmas service - 10/26/2008 3:18:37 PM
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PastorPatricia
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We do a service of this nature in fellowship with the other church in our small community. What we have done is a candlelight service, with hymns, scripture, prayers and a reflection. When people come in they are handed small cards and are asked to write the names of those they'd like to remember. At one point in the service the names are read out and a candle is lite and placed on a "tree" (a special stand we had made), when all the candles are lite we have quiet music playing and a time of silent reflection. If you want to email me I can give you the order of the service. It's worked very effectively for us and many people have found comfort through it. Ours is a lay led service but could be done with pastors leading it. Hope this helps. Bless you for your thoughtfulness in wanting to do this service.
_____________________________
But be sure to fear the Lord and serve him faithfully with all your heart; consider what great things he has done for you. Is. 12:24
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RE: Blue Christmas service - 10/26/2008 4:29:48 PM
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colliefan
Posts: 2995
Joined: 4/12/2005
From: Raleigh, NC
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Be sure and include this passage
Isa 53:3 - 5 (HCSB) 3 He was despised and rejected by men,£ a man of suffering who knew what sickness was.£ He was like one people turned away from;£ He was despised, and we didn’t value Him. 4 Yet He Himself bore our sicknesses, and He carried our pains;£ but we in turn regarded Him stricken, struck down by God,£ and afflicted. 5 But He was pierced because of our transgressions,£ crushed because of our iniquities;£ punishment£ for our peace was on Him, and we are healed by His wounds.£
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RE: Blue Christmas service - 10/26/2008 5:06:53 PM
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buckifn
Posts: 1867
Joined: 5/23/2006
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I don't like the title "Blue" but I do like the concept.
Here is one idea
A Liturgy of Remembering
(Using the Advent Wreath Candles)
One: This first candle we light to remember those whom we have loved
an lost. We pause to remember their name, their face, their
voice, the memory that binds them to us in this season. (Pause
while the first candle is lit)
All: May God's eternal love surround them.
One: This second candle we light is to redeem the pain of loss; the
loss of relationships, the loss of jobs, the loss of health.
(Pause while the second candle is lit.) We pause to gather up the
pain of the past and offer it to God, asking that from God's
hands we receive the gift of peace.
All: Refresh, restore, renew us O God, and lead us into your future.
One: This third candle we light is to remember ourselves this
Christmas time. We pause and remember these past weeks and month;
the disbelief, the anger, the down times, the poignancy of
reminiscing, the hugs and handshakes of family and friends, all
those who stood with us. (Pause while the third candle is lit.)
We five thanks for all the support we have known.
All: Let us remember that dawn defeats darkness.
One: This fourth candle is lit to remember out faith and the gift of
hope which the Christmas story offers to us. (Pause while the
fourth candle is lit.) We remember that god who shares out life
promises us a place and time of no more pain and suffering.
All: Let us remember the one who shoes the way, who brings the truth
and who bears the light.
Prayers of the People
One: In the spirit of this season let us now confidently ask God for
all the things we need; For ourselves as we participate in
whatever way we can this Christmas.
God hear our Prayer....
All: And in your mercy answer.
One: For our families and friends that they may continue to help and
support us.
God, hear our prayer....
All: And in your mercy answer.
One: For the person we have loved that has died. For all the losses
that we know, that all may be redeemed by you Easter promise.
God, hear our prayer.
All: And in your mercy answer.
One: For all our family and friends that they may know love and peace
and happiness in you.
God, hear our prayer.
All: And in your mercy answer.
One: For the peace proclaimed by the Christmas angels, to come
throughout the whole world.
God, hear our prayer....
All: And in your mercy answer.
One: God of great compassion and love, listen to the prayers of these
you people.
Grant to all, especially the bereaved and troubled ones this
Christmas, the blessing we ask in the name of Christ who taught
us to pray together saying:
Our father, who art in heaven.....
Hymn: Sing together-"Silent Night" or "O Come, O Come Emmanuel"
There is also a great book called CHRISTMAS STORIES FOR THE HEART. that can be found on AMAZON.com you could find a selection or two from there that would be approp.
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RE: Blue Christmas service - 10/27/2008 8:43:29 AM
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DaveW
Posts: 4166
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Regular Judiasm has 4 times a year a special service to remember those who have passed on. We do the same in many Messianic Synagogues. These are also associated with the most celebrated holidays: Passover, Shavuot (Pentecost), Yom Kippur and Sukkot (Tabernacles).
From http://www.myjewishlearning.com/lifecycle/Death/Burial_Mourning/Yizkor.htm
The service itself consists of four parts:
1. A series of readings and prayers, recited and chanted, that sets the mood for the solemn service.
2. Paragraphs that individuals read [silently] recalling the deceased. There are paragraphs for a father, mother, husband, wife, son, daughter, other relatives and friends, and Jewish martyrs. During the service, each person reads the appropriate paragraph(s).
3. The memorial prayer for the deceased, the El MaleRahamim [God full of compassion]is chanted by the cantor. This is essentially the same prayer said at Jewish funerals.
4. A special prayer, Av HaRahamim (Ancestor of Mercies), probably composed as a eulogy for communities destroyed in the Crusades of 1096, is recited by the congregation as a memorial for all Jewish martyrs. Some also add Psalm 23.
Although in its traditional structure Yizkor does not include the recitation of the Mourner's Kaddish [the memorial prayer in praise of God], many congregations do add this as the climax of the Yizkor service.
The Jewish site OU.org (the US Orthodox Union) leaves off #4 but lists out all the other prayers in Hebrew and English here: http://www.ou.org/yerushalayim/yizkor/
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RE: Blue Christmas service - 10/28/2008 12:18:26 PM
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fantom
Posts: 57
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From: the emerald city
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The carol "I heard the bells on Christmas day" was written by a man who was at his lowest. I don't remember the exact story but as I recall he had lost his entire family in fire(?). Anyway the music is beautiful and the words (again as I recall) may fit this occasion.
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Whenever I'm about to do something, I think, "would an idiot do that?" and if they would, I do NOT do that thing"
Dwight Shrute
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RE: Blue Christmas service - 10/28/2008 1:26:05 PM
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hjemerson
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Well I guess ! I never though of a service that special for this I would look on the side of how to praise and remember the one we lost in some way .much like how you can remember and carry on their life in each person heart, Somthing to think about! I would look for anothe name to call it ai don"t care for "Blue" make me want to be depressedHope to heard all goes well with this I love to know more!
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RE: Blue Christmas service - 10/29/2008 1:39:17 PM
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seagullplayer
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We had a candle light service Christmas evening. There are so many without family and alone for the Holidays. They may have nothing to do Christmas day, we had several visit and several older people from our congregation attend. One lady was in tears when she told us what the service meant to her. She had lost both her husband and only son in just the last few years, and had no family close.
We had some singing and prayer and I may have read a few verses then lit the candles from our single Christ Candle. Not much planning on our part, we left that up to Him.
_____________________________
The world has only one problem, sin.
There is only one solution, Jesus.
THE WAY.
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RE: Blue Christmas service - 10/29/2008 8:50:10 PM
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coolfamily6
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When my daughter died Christmas was very hard but I would not have attended a "blue" Christmas service. Christmas is about Christ, and that very fact helped me.
That being said, I did go to a special Candle Lighting offered by a bereaved parents group. Each person lights a candle, they have a prayer time (although it is not a Christian group) and you take the candle home to light during the rest of your holiday festivities. We did this for 5 yrs.
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If your bible is a mess; your life won't be.
~Encouragement a mom gave to our children at our First Grader's Bible Ceremony!
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RE: Blue Christmas service - 10/29/2008 11:20:09 PM
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colliefan
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From: Raleigh, NC
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In such a service, it must close in hope. Just as Christmas is in the beginings of Winter with its cold and dark, Spring with its flowers will come. God allows the dark times so we will trust him in the times of light.
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RE: Blue Christmas service - 11/6/2008 9:34:21 AM
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coolfamily6
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I agree about closing in HOPE but feel the whole service should center on it. The bible tells us that we do not grieve as the world does without hope.
_____________________________
If your bible is a mess; your life won't be.
~Encouragement a mom gave to our children at our First Grader's Bible Ceremony!
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RE: Blue Christmas service - 11/6/2008 6:10:05 PM
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jn1010lf
Posts: 351
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Hello the_mom
Quite frankly, I think the idea literally stinks. Why call attention to people's adversities or rub it in?
Why not celebrate the occasion and let the Holy Spirit lift their spirits and comfort them? If I were any of the things you named, I would never go.
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RE: Blue Christmas service - 11/6/2008 6:13:06 PM
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Roberta_
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From: East Bay Area
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I have never heard of the idea. As someone who has had many "blue" Christmases, it does sound intriguing to me.
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RE: Blue Christmas service - 11/7/2008 8:22:47 PM
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the_mom
Posts: 37
Joined: 11/9/2006
From: Seattle, WA
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quote:
ORIGINAL: jn1010lf
Hello the_mom
Quite frankly, I think the idea literally stinks. Why call attention to people's adversities or rub it in?
Why not celebrate the occasion and let the Holy Spirit lift their spirits and comfort them? If I were any of the things you named, I would never go.
The point, obviously, is not to "rub it in." The point is to recognize that not everyone is in the mood for good cheer nor are they very merry. For someone who has lost a loved one or is separated from his or her family, every TV ad showing a happy family gathering or the exchange of that perfect gift is rubbing it in, because that is impossible in their lives right now. The unrelenting pressure to have that perfect Christmas with loved ones or that special loved one is too much to bear when you can't have it.
The point of the service, which I now agree should not be called "blue," is to provide a safe place for people who aren't comfortable at the service with the families all coming together with the out-of-town guests, the kids talking about Santa, and the inevitable question: "what are you doing on Christmas Day?" How awful to say "well, I just lost my loved one. I'll be alone."
I'm thinking of using the verse from Isaiah 40:1: "Comfort, O comfort my people . . ." But a short title that we can put out on the sign still escapes me: a comfort service? The problem is that "blue" Christmas is a pretty well-known term.
I read buckifn's liturgy of remembering to my friend who is helping me. I just helped her with her divorce after her husband dumped her while she was in the hospital and left her homeless. She started to cry as I read it and insisted that she be the one to read the liturgy. So, that you, buckifn, your offering has already touched someone.
Anyway, that's just an update.
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RE: Blue Christmas service - 11/7/2008 9:10:39 PM
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manda59
Posts: 6181
Joined: 9/22/2005
From: Hampshire, UK
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I'm just curious - when is this service to be held? Actually on Christmas Day or on another day?
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RE: Blue Christmas service - 11/8/2008 12:01:51 AM
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the_mom
Posts: 37
Joined: 11/9/2006
From: Seattle, WA
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We are having our service on Christmas eve, in between our regular Christmas eve services. Some churches have a service called the longest night service, held on the night of the winter solstice. We might try that next year, but we decided that because our musical staff is already working on Christmas eve, it would be most efficient.
We chose efficiency in this case, because we really don't know what we are doing. We have never had this type of service before, nor do we know anyone who has done it. We have just heard about it and felt called to try it. Particularly, our pastor has heard the sadness and frustration over the years of those who just can't get into the Christmas spirit as we express it in our culture.
I have been there myself, and in my practice, I do a few divorces, mostly for friends. This year, I'm doing well, but I suddenly have a number of friends or friends of friends who have needed my services in that area. They are dreading the holidays. It will be a painful reminder that a year ago they thought they had great relationships. It seemed right that I should take the laboring oar in putting this service together.
Besides, my kids are usually with their dad on Christmas eve, so I don't have anything else to do, but sit by myself. Actually, I'm content to do that, but why not reach out and give a hand to someone in need?
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RE: Blue Christmas service - 11/8/2008 10:08:13 PM
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colliefan
Posts: 2995
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From: Raleigh, NC
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quote:
Actually, I'm content to do that, but why not reach out and give a hand to someone in need?
And this should be the message to those that are hurting. By all means acknowledge the hurt, but the message to these individuals is that healing starts when one stops focusing on the hurt and starts reaching out to those in need.
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RE: Blue Christmas service - 11/12/2008 10:09:04 AM
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coolfamily6
Posts: 340
Joined: 4/18/2005
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The_Mom,
How about Christmas Hope, Celebrating the Promise of Hope at Christmas? You could add a line in the bulletin that says "A service offering hope to those hurting during this Christmas season".
_____________________________
If your bible is a mess; your life won't be.
~Encouragement a mom gave to our children at our First Grader's Bible Ceremony!
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