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Geeks Training Facility - 7/18/2008 5:12:53 PM
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jacob011
Posts: 17
Joined: 5/25/2008
From: Coruscant
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All geeks welcomed.
Hi there folks,
as you probably assumed already I'm a geek. Now, I will state what geek is just for everyone to think the same: "Geek is a person with unusual computer skills... and so on, you know that :D"
SO now the problem:
Geeks don't date! Even if they are handsome. (There are some, but I'll exclude them for now:)
NOW I'd like to know how to:
start a simple conversation with a woman?
avoid that stupid dependency on woman's beauty?
(the more gorgeous she is, the bigger scatterbrain I am, making me the most hopeless person on this rock)
I must admit It all sounds crazy for normal people(, but you gonna get over it don't worry  )
But you have no idea what a fool I am. I seem to attract girls too much. (And that's the BIG DEAL. can't talk => in deep trouble...) Even if I try to speak to her about something meaningful, she gets nervous (I guess because of me) and we're done 
Can't use the stronger words here
SO final scream: HE ...2 minutes later... EEEELP ! ! !
[Edited by moderator - TOS 5]
< Message edited by ta_mosquito -- 7/18/2008 5:49:35 PM >
_____________________________
Dies time, the former life is past
Blind side, I know what awaits my fate
Hates breath, unavoidable ceasing of days
Today is a good day to die
Project 86 - Six Sirens
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RE: Geeks Training Facility - 7/18/2008 7:06:13 PM
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pbaribeault
Posts: 1118
Joined: 4/29/2005
Status: online
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Lots of geeks also do drama. It's within the same skill set, and it can be free-ing. You can use this to tone down your nerves at the spontaneous conversation.
Write a script and practice it; complete with facial expressions.
Start with your good friend the mirror. "Hi!" <shy smile with eye contact> "Nice day today, hmm?" <again with a slight touch of eye contact> "I've really been enjoying the weather this summer, and those thunderstorms are something else!" ... "Have you been on a vacation so far?" <interested eyebrows, nodding head> "That sounds really nice. I've been thinking about taking a little camping trip myself. I've wondered what it would be like to rent a motorcycle and one of those tiny tent trailers." <let her respond & pick up an idea if she wants to, or continue> "When I was a kid, my granddad had a motorcycle. He used to take me out... he lived in..." <let her respond> "By the way, my name is Joe. It's good to meet you."
This takes the guesswork out of what you are going to say, so that you can manage yourself better in the conversation, until it gets rolling. You can have quite a few memorized anicdotes to take the conversation in different directions.
Begin by trying it with 'captive audiences' like cashiers and waitresses -- keep it short and don't be creepy (meaning watch out for signs that she doesn't want to keep on talking). Then seek a real conversation by going to a class, or sport or some other thing where you see the same group of people of both genders on a regular basis. Once you've seen a girl a few times, and she has seen you, the conversations have more possibilities.
To move this towards date territory, you might offer to help her with something she is trying to do, trying to learn or trying to carry. You can offer to help her with a computer problem too. Practice your delivery line, "I have a couple tickets to this small jazz show next weekend (basketball game, thinking of seeing a particular movie etc.) and I was hoping to find someone nice to go along with me. Are you interested at all?" <if not> "Oh, no problem. Jazz isn't for everyone." <if yes> "Shall I pick you up at 7:00 then, or should we maybe catch dinner first?"
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RE: Geeks Training Facility - 7/18/2008 7:10:07 PM
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NotDoneYet
Posts: 156
Joined: 12/11/2007
From: Virginia
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Find a geek girl! I am a geek girl...dating was no picnic for me either.
Join your local Toastmasters, great for public speaking...and confidence in front of an audience. Go to the local "geek" open houses (I live near a NASA center and a nationally known physics lab), join an online forum.
Being a geek is not a really handicapping condition, if you can find someone who is willing to put up with it. My specialty is anything aerospace...or technological or engineering orientated. My husband is NOT a geek...but it works!
Have fun and enjoy your geekdom!
NDY
_____________________________
Remember, normal is just a setting on the dryer!
Ranting and raving: diaryofaravingmom.blogspot.com
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RE: Geeks Training Facility - 7/19/2008 9:03:08 AM
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car2ner
Posts: 2533
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: just north of Florida
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Talking to the opposite sex takes practice no matter the level of geekiness or lack-there-of.
BTW, M'love and I have side by side computers and we wrap our ankles together while we play on them. In fact, I need to make some omletes for us and then get onto our MMORPG together.
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bungalow time http://www.car2ner.2ya.com (my blog)http://car2ner.imagekind.com/ (my portfolio)
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RE: Geeks Training Facility - 7/19/2008 6:30:27 PM
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42servehymn
Posts: 424
Joined: 4/16/2005
From: Littleton, Colorado
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My son is a certified geek with a beautiful fiancee. He is going to college and is majoring in math and minoring in computer science. He will continue on to get his doctorate so he can become a college math professor. His girlfriend looks like Katy Holmes. She is sweet and smart also but not on the same geek level as he is. Her dad is also a geek so that may have something to do with it. Her dad has an engineering degree and law degree. Her mom is one beautiful lady also so there is another geek that found a beauty. Find an older geek and ask if he has a daughter.
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A smile is a curve that can straighten out alot of things.
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RE: Geeks Training Facility - 7/19/2008 10:16:43 PM
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Munchiekin
Posts: 82
Joined: 11/11/2007
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My last bf was kinda a geek. But he sure was cute and funny. I'm gonna miss that one.
Just get down with your geeky self and program those computers! Somewhere over the rainbow is a geeky lady just waiting for the computerly competent!
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RE: Geeks Training Facility - 7/20/2008 1:28:34 AM
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deermousie
Posts: 1444
Joined: 9/26/2007
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quote:
ORIGINAL: jacob011
NOW I'd like to know how to:
start a simple conversation with a woman?
- It's easier talking to someone who is interested in the same things you are. Join clubs for activities you enjoy. Go to ballroom dance classes - they never have enough guys, and they'll teach you where to put your feet and your hands. The girls will look pretty and you get to boss them around the floor. It's great fun, trust me, once you start getting it. Most gals start off knowing nothing, too. Oh, and check out places that have folk dancing (call the local synagog - ours used to have dances every Saturday night, and gave free lessons before hand. Great fun, and you don't have to partner up but can stand around afterwards with a soda and talk).
-It's true, we gals are the opposite species, but we like to talk, too, and maybe we're shy about talking to you.
- KEY People quickly warm up when asked about their favorite interests. Be listening... when a gal mentions dogs, ask her leading questions like, Do you like dogs? What kind of dogs? or Do you have a dog? She'll start talking and all you have to do is occasionally say "Uh huh" "That's right" and so on. She'll think you're a great conversationalist with little to no effort on your part!
- If you live in an apartment full of Christian guys, find an apartment full of Christian gals and invite them over for dinner. That was there's no pairing off and thus no pressure, but you get to hang around girls and interact. Can't cook? Get a book or ask your mother or some gal at church. Ha! Or ask some gals to teach you guys how to cook, and you supply the food and you all eat the results together!
- Join the singles group at your church, or start attending another church's singles group. Ask how you can help (bring snacks, ask for a ride or offer rides if you have a car). Learn to play a guitar so you can help with the singing. Ask a girl to show you some chords to play.
quote:
avoid that stupid dependency on woman's beauty?
(the more gorgeous she is, the bigger scatterbrain I am, making me the most hopeless person on this rock)
Sorry, Jacob; you're a guy and I think it comes with the territory. My husband of 20 years hates talking to pretty girls because he becomes tongue-tied. He's a moral, friendly kind of guy and everyone loves him, but he becomes a gibbering idiot around a gorgeous gal. He hates it but has been helpless to conquer it. Our daughter is beautiful, and he has no trouble talking to her. <shrug> So I have no help to give (it might help to know that every guy with a pulse has trouble talking to pretty gals, and the gals might get pretty lonely and would enjoy someone to talk to them like a human being. See what you can do, but don't sweat it if you can't do it . Maybe next year?)
quote:
But you have no idea what a fool I am. I seem to attract girls too much. (And that's the BIG DEAL. can't talk => in deep trouble...) Even if I try to speak to her about something meaningful, she gets nervous (I guess because of me) and we're done
I like the Toastmaster's suggestion. Some ettiquette books deal with this, too, so slip down to the library and see what you can find: what are good conversation starters and safe and kind things to start talking about (weather is good always, school is safe, whether her jeans make her backside look big is an atom bomb. But you knew that).
quote:
SO final scream: HE ...2 minutes later... EEEELP ! ! !
Jacob, you sound like a delightful guy. You're in touch with your feelings, not afraid to laugh at yourself, and are smart. Once you conquer the first steps of a conversation, I think you'll find girls do like you and you'll be off and running with a conversation. You aren't some stupid guy flexing his muscles that we're supposed to ooh and ah over (we're not impressed over a guy who is impressed with himself. That guy just needs a mirror to be happy). Be kind, listen, talk about other people's interests, and don't worry if you step in the trash can. Just laugh about it and go on.
Understand that there are a lot of girls who don't know how to talk to guys, either. Part of loving the brethren is putting their interests first. You need a ride? I'll take you. You need a guitar player for worship? I'll play. You need someone to help carry stuff to the car? I'll help (or open the door).
I hope this helps a little. God bless!
_____________________________
Want to know where a certain word or phrase in the Bible is found? www.biblegateway.com Yay!
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RE: Geeks Training Facility - 7/20/2008 2:38:56 AM
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DreadPirateRandy
Posts: 9429
Joined: 6/5/2006
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quote:
ORIGINAL: jacob011
NOW I'd like to know how to:
start a simple conversation with a woman?
"Hey baby, I noticed you only have 248 MB of RAM. Would you like an upgrade?  "
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Cynicism is an unpleasant way of saying the truth.
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RE: Geeks Training Facility - 7/20/2008 6:20:17 AM
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FreeEagle
Posts: 18
Joined: 7/2/2008
From: Minnesota
Status: offline
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Having been very shy myself, I'd recommend reading "How to win friends and influence people" by Dale Carnegie. It is highly recommended by many business organizations, but few people realize it's original title was "How to pick up girls"
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I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go;
I will counsel you and watch over you. Do not be like the horse and the mule, which have no understanding but must be controlled by bit and bridle or they will not come to you.
Psalms 32 8-
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RE: Geeks Training Facility - 7/20/2008 11:34:22 PM
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blackhat
Posts: 10
Joined: 12/31/2005
Status: offline
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I dated a geek for 3 years, and he was majorly geeky. In fact, he was so geeky that it rubbed off on me. It didn't last, but the point is that geeks have a lot more dating potential than they realize. There are a lot of girls out there who want a smart guy for a bf! Also, I find that there is more security with geeks... As in, they're not likely to cheat on you because they're (I know, major generalization over here) already so unsure of their social skills.
There's one important thing I realized when I started dating. It's so obvious, but it's something you need to believe and understand: Nobody is better than you. No matter how beautiful that person is, you are just as good as they are. Nobody's worth more or less than anyone else in this world.
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RE: Geeks Training Facility - 7/21/2008 7:14:01 PM
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Auben
Posts: 1603
Joined: 4/13/2005
From: Where pines tower and cranberries float
Status: online
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Part of the difficulty with talking with beautiful members of the opposite sex has to do with worrying about fulfilling expectations, trying to impress, or being filled with self-doubt.
Minimizing first conversations (don't try to do it all).
Visualizing them as a friend, not a potential date (at least at first).
Coming up with a set of questions ahead of time for just such a situation.
Finding things in common.
Practicing with people who are friendly enough to take up the slack.
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Tamara
~Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time~
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RE: Geeks Training Facility - 7/21/2008 7:33:26 PM
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sunshinesoprano
Posts: 991
Joined: 4/12/2005
From: Georgia
Status: offline
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Well, if there's a music geek, I guess I'm a girl one.
I'm a musician/wanna be computer nerd. At some point technology overtook me when I graduated from college and didn't really keep up with it anymore, so I'm not as much of a puter nerd as I used to be,
I can't talk to guys. I turn into a big bowl of jello. I have no idea what to say, mostly because I"m thinking he's thinking, "What's this totally uncool nerdy chunky butt doing talking to me?
I feel ya...
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Pure Heart-Fresh, Progressive Southern Gospel
Sing, laugh, love, PRAISE!
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RE: Geeks Training Facility - 7/21/2008 11:32:40 PM
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LaVidaBonita
Posts: 33
Joined: 12/13/2007
Status: offline
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When I first met my future hubby he said that he was attracted to me because I was a "cool nerd". A nerd is kind of like a geek I guess?
Honestly I think that we are both nerds/geeks which is why we make such a good couple. I'm an environmental scientist and he is an engineer. You can't get much more geeky than that.
My advice...find a woman who is just as much of a geek as you are, and one who thinks that your interests/skills are some of the most attracctive things about you.
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... Y todo aquel que creyera en El no perezca mas tenga vida eternal...
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RE: Geeks Training Facility - 7/24/2008 2:09:49 AM
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captain
Posts: 4
Joined: 8/15/2005
Status: offline
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Hi all.
I am a total geek. I am even going to Comic-Con this Sunday.
I haven't had any dates with the exception of the blind dates that my parents & relatives have set up for me. What a loser I am. Plus I wear braces. I should have my own t.v. series to complement "Ugly Betty". But that's okay.
Talking to an attractive woman makes me nervous and makes my voice quiver.
But I am making progress. I feel comfortable emailing them. :-) It doesn't bother me as much when I try get into a conversation and they walk away after a few brief words from them. Oh well, time to move on to the next person in the bible study.
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RE: Geeks Training Facility - 7/24/2008 7:54:27 AM
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DaveW
Posts: 3816
Joined: 4/12/2005
From: MD suburbs of Washington DC
Status: offline
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quote:
NOW I'd like to know how to:
start a simple conversation with a woman? Comedian Jim Gaffigan has a routine where he talks about the phrases "Its not brain surgery" and "Its not rocket science." He then asks what do rocket scientists or brain surgeons say:
"Its not like talking to women....?"
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RE: Geeks Training Facility - 7/24/2008 4:48:41 PM
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jacob011
Posts: 17
Joined: 5/25/2008
From: Coruscant
Status: offline
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OK. 
I have another question. I'm attending our local church .... and ... there's particular girl that I find kinda sweet. I admire her. As a person she's got many great qualities ... and ... she's so mature there, where I am not, although she's a year younger. She cooks, she does tidying up, she's very ... ready (at least in this way(from what I can tell :-)) She seems to like me (and I like her as well), but she doesn't feel comfortable talking to me. (Ya know, we tried to talk, but it was rather embarrassing to both of us). Looks like she's got the same problem as I do.  (Talking to everybody - fine, talking to someone gorgeous - horrible)
How unpleasant!!!!  So we're stuck there for now.
Could you advise? Some cool tricks?! Huh?
_____________________________
Dies time, the former life is past
Blind side, I know what awaits my fate
Hates breath, unavoidable ceasing of days
Today is a good day to die
Project 86 - Six Sirens
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I mean, talking to a pretty girl. (or handsome boy)
"All that is gold does not glitter, not all those who wander are lost..." -J. R. R. Tolkien 
I wanna be more like human than a machine. (not that I am) I also spend a lot of time with books or just study. I'm guessing this is sorta preparational part of my life and it's gonna come to successful end one day. Do you guys have some experiences concerning this issue? I think that after this part of my life, I'll be more mature even about talking to pretty ladies. (and THAT'S something 
