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Manners, common sense, intelligence - 9/5/2008 2:45:53 PM
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RichLP
Posts: 1511
Joined: 5/4/2005
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How would you feel if a "friend" of yours asked you for a souvenir from your Christmas trip, did not pay you the money for it (100 dollars) until June (and only because you called him to ask for the money), stated the souvenir's size was too small, requested that you exchange the size (never mind you travel once a year and that this is a foreign country)?
How would you feel, then, if after you fortunately have someone you know who just happened to be traveling to that foreign country for the summer agree to try to exchange the souvenir for a different size, only for the store to adamantly refuse any size exchanges even though the souvenir's product and price tags were intact and the receipt was presented? And, you then return the original souvenir to this "friend," and this "friend" says "I know I'm bothering you a lot about this but can you try to exchange it again?"
Never mind that this is FOREIGN COUNTRY?
And then when you insist that this foreign country's store will not exchange it, this "friend" then says for you to keep the souvenir even though he did pay you for it (albeit 6 months late) and you tell him you have the same item already and you wouldn't need it? And then your "friend" insists that you take it because it's not for him but for somebody else - this never having been revealed when you traveled to that foreign country in December 2007 and only on the last day of August 2008? And then a 3rd person, a common friend, intervenes and tells your "friend" to just keep it because he senses you're about to lose your temper?
I know you guys here who've given me friendship advice have said to "lose this person, get new friends" and I agree; this "friend" and I have already separated, because I never call him and barely hang out with him. But what exactly would you feel if it was you who went through all this?
What would you feel about this person's:
- intelligence
- manners
- common sense
_____________________________
"We have removed an ally of Al Qaeda" - G.W. Bush lies to America and to the world, 5/1/2003
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RE: Manners, common sense, intelligence - 9/5/2008 4:00:58 PM
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sudden
Posts: 167
Joined: 4/12/2005
From: Toronto
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Hi Rich:
Sorry you had a rough time attempting to acquire a souvenir for your "friend". The time that you took and your persistence with this endeavour is admirable. Such energy and persistence would be greatly appreciated by many people!
I would think that if you would like your "friend" to know how you feel about this unfortunate situation you could tell him. It is not for the likes of me to comment on personal characteristics of someone I've never met.
It would seem that since he is out of the picture, at least for now, that it would make more sense to make a mental note that you will never attempt to acquire a souvenir on behalf of another while travelling unless, of course, you do it on your own steam.
As for the unwanted souvenir you acquired, perhaps it could serve as a Christmas or Birthday gift for one of your friends or family? If it is suitable for neither of these, perhaps it could be donated to a charity for a prize for a fundraiser or a silent auction table.
Yours for learning with the best of em' (or is it the worst?)
Sudden
_____________________________
I will lie down in rest and sleep and peace, for thou, O Lord, only makest me to dwell in safety.
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RE: Manners, common sense, intelligence - 9/5/2008 4:03:23 PM
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PopsiLufsJesus
Posts: 5277
Joined: 5/6/2008
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I would try to knock some sense into him. Sounds like more than anything he needs a character and attitude adjustment...
_____________________________
"Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer."
~ Romans 12:12
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RE: Manners, common sense, intelligence - 9/5/2008 4:13:01 PM
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RichLP
Posts: 1511
Joined: 5/4/2005
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quote:
ORIGINAL: sudden
Hi Rich:
Sorry you had a rough time attempting to acquire a souvenir for your "friend". The time that you took and your persistence with this endeavour is admirable. Such energy and persistence would be greatly appreciated by many people!
I would think that if you would like your "friend" to know how you feel about this unfortunate situation you could tell him. It is not for the likes of me to comment on personal characteristics of someone I've never met.
It would seem that since he is out of the picture, at least for now, that it would make more sense to make a mental note that you will never attempt to acquire a souvenir on behalf of another while travelling unless, of course, you do it on your own steam.
As for the unwanted souvenir you acquired, perhaps it could serve as a Christmas or Birthday gift for one of your friends or family? If it is suitable for neither of these, perhaps it could be donated to a charity for a prize for a fundraiser or a silent auction table.
Yours for learning with the best of em' (or is it the worst?)
Sudden
Sudden, the "unwanted souvenir" remained with him. I adamantly refused to take it back. But thanks for the nice note.
_____________________________
"We have removed an ally of Al Qaeda" - G.W. Bush lies to America and to the world, 5/1/2003
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RE: Manners, common sense, intelligence - 9/5/2008 4:14:59 PM
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raivyne
Posts: 1010
Joined: 8/28/2008
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I would be very puzzled as to why said person felt the need to be so... so... (I'm at a loss for an accurate description) uhh rude i guess. Self-centered people, such as I suspect this person is, seldom see anything wrong with their behavior. Very poor manners to be sure! Even requesting a souvenier was poor manners IMO. As to his intelligence and common sense, I really couldn't speculate.
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RE: Manners, common sense, intelligence - 9/5/2008 4:25:07 PM
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RichLP
Posts: 1511
Joined: 5/4/2005
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Let me explain the story with more detail.
Cube: friend who refused souvenir
Pisco: common friend who intervened on my behalf
The souvenir is a sports jersey of a famous sports team.
Right before I went on my Christmas 2007 vacation, I had dinner with both Cube and Pisco. Pisco had already privately asked me for a jersey but he specifically asked for the cheapest/simplest variety, something that would've cost me no more than 10 dollars. Cube however asked for the real thing and was willing to pay.
I had some money when I traveled and remembering Pisco's several good acts towards me in 2007, I thought I would repay him by surprising him with the real jersey, not a cheap imitation. When I presented the gift to Pisco, Pisco was pleasantly surprised and almost felt bad.
Now here's the thing. Pisco and Cube are about the same height, and I'm taller than both of them. During this trip, I bought the exact same jersey for me (a large). The large is quite roomy and almost too big on ME - and I'm a couple of inches taller than Cube, and bulkier, broader, and thicker (I work out; Cube does not).
Pisco and Cube both received medium-sized jerseys. Pisco said the size fit fine.
What drove me up the wall was not only the fact that Cube only paid $100 to me after I asked for the money several times in June, but that this past weekend, Cube finally said the jersey was not for him, as a justification for the larger size (I have to say, sadly, that I believe Cube is lying, only to cover for his demands. Cube enthusiastically asked for the jersey in December, and he never mentioned it was for somebody else.). Had that been the case, why not tell me in advance to get a large? Anyone would have assumed the size of the jersey would have been for the person asking.
To show you how Cube is: Pisco has a close friend I only know as an acquaintance, whom I will call "Pas." Pisco told me that in the recent past, Pas also went to another foreign country on vacation, and even though Cube and Pas are acquaintances at best, Cube asked Pas for a sports jersey (of another team). Pas agreed and brought the jersey (I will bet 1000000000 bucks it's not large, but rather, medium).
Cube thanked Pas but did not pay him right away. Pisco had to proactively tell Cube to pay Pas, because Cube and Pas are not close friends. Cube paid Pas right there.
What frustrates me is how Cube is apparently blind and clueless to how not paying for six months can make somebody lose credibility. It was last year, after I became close to Pisco, that Pisco told me that both had vacationed together w/ their families, and because Cube was tight on money, Pisco covered some of the expenses for Cube's family - and Cube took 4 months to pay Pisco back. The amount? One thousand dollars.
I talked about this w/ Pisco, and Pisco said Cube doesn't mean harm; he's just not thinking. I told Pisco it's laziness and even a lack of intelligence. Pisco said that was a mean opinion.
I don't know. This incident, after many others that just tire me (and which have contributed me to withdrawing from Cube; I never call him now and rarely ever meet him, and intentionally exclude him from my social outings), are making me close to permanently cutting off Cube. I'm the type who "loses" friends after they cross too many lines and make too many gaffes.
A note: Cube is a church official at his congregation.
_____________________________
"We have removed an ally of Al Qaeda" - G.W. Bush lies to America and to the world, 5/1/2003
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RE: Manners, common sense, intelligence - 9/5/2008 4:31:28 PM
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PopsiLufsJesus
Posts: 5277
Joined: 5/6/2008
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I'm sorry for all the troubles "Cube" has caused. Have you talked to HIM about how you feel about all of this?
Also, I learned from a friend that when you are frustrated with someone you should pray for them. It usually helps! :)
_____________________________
"Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer."
~ Romans 12:12
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RE: Manners, common sense, intelligence - 9/5/2008 4:37:35 PM
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miasma
Posts: 4112
Joined: 4/12/2005
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quote:
ORIGINAL: RichLP
How would you feel if a "friend" of yours asked you for a souvenir from your Christmas trip, did not pay you the money for it (100 dollars) until June (and only because you called him to ask for the money), stated the souvenir's size was too small, requested that you exchange the size (never mind you travel once a year and that this is a foreign country)?
"Friend" would have given me the money to pay for the trinket before I left.
quote:
How would you feel, then, if after you fortunately have someone you know who just happened to be traveling to that foreign country for the summer agree to try to exchange the souvenir for a different size, only for the store to adamantly refuse any size exchanges even though the souvenir's product and price tags were intact and the receipt was presented?
It wouldn't have reached this point, because I wouldn't have asked a third party to get involved.
quote:
And, you then return the original souvenir to this "friend," and this "friend" says "I know I'm bothering you a lot about this but can you try to exchange it again?"
In addition to my previous answers, I sincerely can't imagine any of my friends being that...well, what's a nice way to stay stupid? and inconsiderate. And selfish. Or wanting a souvenir that expensive. Can't say I'd have agreed, in the first place, to procuring and traveling with such an item (esp. when, in this day and age, most everything is available on the internet).
quote:
And then when you insist that this foreign country's store will not exchange it, this "friend" then says for you to keep the souvenir even though he did pay you for it (albeit 6 months late) and you tell him you have the same item already and you wouldn't need it? And then your "friend" insists that you take it because it's not for him but for somebody else - this never having been revealed when you traveled to that foreign country in December 2007 and only on the last day of August 2008? And then a 3rd person, a common friend, intervenes and tells your "friend" to just keep it because he senses you're about to lose your temper?
I really have no response, the scenario is so childish and silly.
quote:
What would you feel about this person's:
- intelligence
- manners
- common sense
I don't "feel" anything about this person, based on this one scenario you've presented. It'd take a lot more interaction and experience with them to come to any conclusions about their intelligence, manners and/or common sense.
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RE: Manners, common sense, intelligence - 9/5/2008 4:48:54 PM
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MC4JC
Posts: 201
Joined: 7/6/2008
From: Minnesota
Status: offline
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Well lets see. The friend is ungrateful if you ask me. If they wanted a certain souvenir then they should have been specific on the type, size, etc. BEFORE you went.
I would tell them that you did your best, that if they have a problem then its THEIR responsibility to figure out how to exchange it. I also think its a bit overboard to ask you to do the work, knowing that its not in the same country and you don't go there often. Its not like a "down the street or next city over" type of exchange.
I would just say "sorry you are unhappy with what I got, but next time maybe you will be a little clearer" and leave it at that. Do not cater to this person again and change the subject if they bring it up. Its their problem - not yours.
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RE: Manners, common sense, intelligence - 9/5/2008 5:32:57 PM
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preserved
Posts: 611
Joined: 6/12/2007
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In my opinion...this is the reaction of a true friend...and is selfish
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RE: Manners, common sense, intelligence - 9/6/2008 5:10:01 AM
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Hislittleone
Posts: 630
Joined: 7/13/2007
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Your friend was rude, irresponsible and immature in his actions. I just wouldn't do anything like that for him ever again. Nor would I loan him money or purchase something for him unless it's a gift.
But I wouldn't harbor resentment towards him over it. You got your money back and it's over now. Forgive him for his rudeness and move on.
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RE: Manners, common sense, intelligence - 9/6/2008 2:18:05 PM
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SuccessinTruth
Posts: 76
Joined: 9/3/2008
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I'd say that Cube suffers from a real problem. It's called 'sin'. A problem that a few of the rest of us suffer from as well. Forgiveness, asking and giving, is a great solution for those of us who suffer from it.
_____________________________
May we Glorify the Lord in all that we say and do
SuccessinTruth
www.mybenefitsplus.com/40623337
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RE: Manners, common sense, intelligence - 9/7/2008 1:23:32 PM
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buckifn
Posts: 1879
Joined: 5/23/2006
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My experiences with friends/family and money are this-
unless you are willing to kiss it goodbye and accept the fact you will prob. NEVER be repaid by them regardless of how many promises they make don't give it to start with.
An easy answer to get your point across is "I don't claim you on my tax deductions" so NO, I won't be donating that amount of money to you.
I went thru this with my son who somehow thought because I bought season tickets to one of the football teams it meant I automatically would get him season tickets too. Wrong!
It sounds like your friend is one of those who automatically assumes others will cater to his whims. I say cut the umbilical cord quickly and efficiently once and for all.
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RE: Manners, common sense, intelligence - 9/7/2008 1:26:00 PM
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PopsiLufsJesus
Posts: 5277
Joined: 5/6/2008
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you have to know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em, know when to walk away, know when to run
_____________________________
"Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer."
~ Romans 12:12
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