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Need a little push - 11/9/2008 5:54:48 PM
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onthewayray
Posts: 54
Joined: 7/23/2008
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I have not gone out on a date in awhile. The last time I got crush and before that it was about the same. I poured out my heat and she picked it up and I feel like she just wanted to play with my heart. I thought we might of had something. And she just kicked me to the side. Never told me why she just said it doesnt feel right. I know I need to get back out there but I cant seem to find someone that I might want to go out. Some of my good friends say I am too pickey. I say that I only want to best for me is that too much to ask?
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I am still being shaped by God.
Isaiah 64:8
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RE: Need a little push - 11/9/2008 8:06:14 PM
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Psalms274
Posts: 2246
Joined: 8/13/2005
From: Georgia
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quote:
ORIGINAL: onthewayray
I have not gone out on a date in awhile. The last time I got crush and before that it was about the same. I poured out my heat and she picked it up and I feel like she just wanted to play with my heart. I thought we might of had something. And she just kicked me to the side. Never told me why she just said it doesnt feel right. I know I need to get back out there but I cant seem to find someone that I might want to go out. Some of my good friends say I am too pickey. I say that I only want to best for me is that too much to ask?
I am sorry you are having a tough time right now. I wonder if you have had enough time to heal from the insensitivity (to put it mildly) of your last experience. I will pray that God brings healing to all the broken parts of your heart and that He will give you His perspective in all you do.
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I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ.
Linus, my dog, little Kaleigh and Sally!
http://piswa.blogspot.com/
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RE: Need a little push - 11/9/2008 8:54:38 PM
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Tashilein
Posts: 210
Joined: 9/30/2008
From: Belgium living in Bahrain
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People have told me I might be pickey cause I'm still single. Maybe I am... and thinking about it now: I LOVE IT. I'm happy I'm pickey cause why shouldn't someone deserve the best for themselves? Even in your potential partner? Now it's not easy to find that person, so... for me, if a person says hi and seems interested in me (now I'm blonde and completely not experienced in signals) or I'm interested in him, within the first conversation I need to know if he's single. That way I know whether it will be strictly friends or become friends with him, get to know him better and maybe some sparks will fly and butterflies immigrate to my tummy. Unfortunately I have come across a few men here who prefer more than one woman at a time, so I'm being extra careful.
I'd say... Go out and say hi. But don't push yourself into getting serious too fast too soon. Take your time and don't pressure yourself into doing something you don't feel ready for. I learned it the hard way that things don't work out if I'm pressured into it cause I'll end up regretting it and wishing I could turn back time.
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RE: Need a little push - 11/9/2008 10:26:29 PM
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Prairiehiker
Posts: 3273
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Just do it! Lol. SOrry, not original, and I hope I don't get sued by Nike for using that!
Being too picky can be a mask to hide deep seated wounds and injury. It's a way to keep people out. It's a way to not take risk and chances to avoid getting hurt. When you break down the list of of qualities that people are looking for who claims they are too picky, you'll find that they are looking for people who will not reject them and will accept them unconditionally.
Now, I'm not saying that's what you are; and I'm not saying that's not you either. It could be. Try to bring into the light what is preventing you from taking chances and ask God for healing. People are really not that scary (well, some are, lol). And they're not all out to hurt you. We're all just trying to live life the best we can, with what we have been given. One you get used to being out there, you'll realize that it's really not so bad. You get rejected once, you shrug your shoulder and move on. Learn from it, but don't dwell in the rejection too much. It hurts, but what other option do you have? Here's a famous quote from CS Lewis. I'm sure you've seen it before. Just reminding you again. Hope this might give you the push you need.
“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket- safe, dark, motionless, airless--it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable.”
_____________________________
Wishing for a Steelers/Eagles superbowl.
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RE: Need a little push - 11/9/2008 10:49:50 PM
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Grace-N-Mercy
Posts: 6040
Joined: 5/2/2005
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Prairiehiker
“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket- safe, dark, motionless, airless--it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable.”
This is what God has been teaching me the past three years. My heart had become quite hardened and needed softening. Well, it takes some brokenness to get to that point, and He made sure that was going to happen.  It's like going through the refiner's fire... it's very painful going through it, but look at the piece of purified gold that comes out on the other side.
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<-- When did Hollywood go from classy to 'cheap & easy'?
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RE: Need a little push - 11/9/2008 10:54:03 PM
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Prairiehiker
Posts: 3273
Status: offline
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Me, too, Gracie. I think that is the main reason I'm single. Even if God had brought the man of His dreams in my doorstep with a note: special delivery from God, I wouldn't recognize him because I was ruled by fear. Well, God is changing that and He's speaking to me loud and clear lately about dealing with my fears.
_____________________________
Wishing for a Steelers/Eagles superbowl.
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RE: Need a little push - 11/10/2008 6:02:33 AM
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onthewayray
Posts: 54
Joined: 7/23/2008
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Thanks to all .....God is speaking as well He has a lot of work But He is God and I know He can do it......
I just dont know about me yet. Still a little gun shy.......
_____________________________
I am still being shaped by God.
Isaiah 64:8
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RE: Need a little push - 11/10/2008 6:27:40 AM
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HoosierMusicLover
Posts: 129
Joined: 10/3/2008
From: Where I hang my bootstraps :)
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Grace-N-Mercy
quote:
ORIGINAL: Prairiehiker
“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket- safe, dark, motionless, airless--it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable.”
This is what God has been teaching me the past three years. My heart had become quite hardened and needed softening. Well, it takes some brokenness to get to that point, and He made sure that was going to happen. It's like going through the refiner's fire... it's very painful going through it, but look at the piece of purified gold that comes out on the other side.
Amen sisters! To quote Rich Mullins, allrightokuhhuhamen. I've been dealing with similar issues and it's been a hard year going thru it, but God has taken down those walls I built to keep myself from getting hurt anymore. (False strength!!) PH was dead-on with that quote, I was not heartbroken anymore but I couldn't be reached until I was. Ontheway, still not convinced on the dating thing, as it's been years since my last date but I'm finally open to it. I have NO idea where to turn but for now I think I'll just try to focus on family and my bro's kids, they always know how to cheer up Uncle HML!
On the picky issue, way in the past I was not picky enough so I'd rather be too picky, it's easier to change that way than to have to pick up the pieces. I've been accused of being too picky as well but I'd rather realise my standards are higher than they need to be than travel that road again.
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Lord, come quickly.
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RE: Need a little push - 11/10/2008 1:08:15 PM
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John_O
Posts: 8026
Joined: 9/5/2006
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quote:
ORIGINAL: onthewayray
Thanks to all .....God is speaking as well He has a lot of work But He is God and I know He can do it......
I just dont know about me yet. Still a little gun shy.......
----------->>|onthewayray. (That's a push son)
Well I think I found your problem (bolded above) Stop dating guns and start dating women. Or at least date women who own guns, they are normally much more secure in themselves and much more down to Earth.
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Psalms 46:10 Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.
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RE: Need a little push - 11/11/2008 6:05:23 AM
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onthewayray
Posts: 54
Joined: 7/23/2008
Status: offline
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Well I think I found your problem (bolded above) Stop dating guns and start dating women. Or at least date women who own guns, they are normally much more secure in themselves and much more down to Earth.
[/quote]
Well there is someone at my church that likes guns she carrys from what I been told. I would like to ask her out and did once but she had something to do that sunday. I work somethimes on sunday. But when I have money in my pocket she not in church and when my pockect are empty she there or if I hae to work after church. So maybe it will work out soon or there may be a resoan for it. I put it in Gods hands and will let Him lead.
_____________________________
I am still being shaped by God.
Isaiah 64:8
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RE: Need a little push - 11/12/2008 6:48:37 PM
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Geeky1
Posts: 161
Joined: 12/5/2007
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Wow I read a lot of myself in this thread, as I am dealing with the "being ruled by fear" thing. I am working on putting myself out there, relaxing and just having fun. I even went as far as to send a message to someone on a dating site saying I would like to get to know him better. Several years ago that is something I never would have done.
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