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Should I leave him? - 7/2/2008 2:42:03 PM
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nickie18
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Should I leave my boyfriend? He is not a Christian. Not even close. He actually grew up and tought to not believe in God. I think I should leave, but I want to know if I should stay and try to help him believe in God, because he is back an forth. Sometimes he thinks maybe God is real, and sometimes, he does'nt believe in him. So, I don't know. What do you think?
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RE: Should I leave him? - 7/2/2008 2:49:46 PM
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loco79
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It depends on how patient you want to be as far as converting him to your faith. If you feel you have the resources and the support to aide you, then I would say stay with him. If not then maybe you should see what happens going forward and make a decision from there. From my personal experience, all of the people i know that have gone from nothing to Christianity, the major thing that they saw how people of faith acted. One of my good friends was converted because his wife set the example and never gave into what he wanted to get out of her. Just because he was angry or aggressive, she answered by being more patient and loving. If you can set the example by completing what you say about christians and how you act, given time I believe you will lead him towards the faith. Many non believers are highly critical of christians, and yet dont hold the same standard for themselves. If you truly believe in at least taking a stab at bringing him to God regardless of whether you are together down the road or not, then your biggest hurdle will be your actions.
Feel free to ask for help, even in the forums, there are many highly educated and experinced people who will more than gladly assist you on your journey
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RE: Should I leave him? - 7/2/2008 2:52:50 PM
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preserved
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If the two of you are dating and you are a christian and he is not...You need to stop dating and witness to him as a friend...Puzzling how two of you started to date in the 1st place knowing that he was not a christian unless you got saved while in the mist of the relationship?
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RE: Should I leave him? - 7/2/2008 3:31:30 PM
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agapetos
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Where I come from (UK) when we talk of 'leaving someone' it's because we are living with them.
If this is the case and you are a Christian, you need to stop living with him as it is pre-marital sex is wrong.
If it's not the case, you need to think seriously about your relationship. Your profile says that you would love to be a minister someday. How would he feel if you married and then became a minister ~ could he accept it? Could you deal with being married to someone who does not share your belief? What if you had children?
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RE: Should I leave him? - 7/2/2008 4:09:58 PM
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jaimestarcross
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It really complicates the situation if you are a Christian and you're living with your boyfriend. Leave him if you are living together and let him know you're doing that because you're choosing to do what the Lord has said in His Word(Bible) - to abstain from sexual sin/immorality.
Apologize for giving him the wrong impression of how a Christian girl should behave... let him know you are getting yourself right with the Lord and will continue to do so.
Tell him you care about him and you'd like for him to believe and accept Christ as Lord and Savior but since you have romantic feelings for him it's wise that you separate yourself from trying to mentor him... but suggest someone who can mentor him (preferably a mature Christian man whose faith is strong and has experience in mentoring.) You can also find study guides for him at a Christian bookstore(or church)
... if he's serious about wanting to know more about God and what Christianity is all about then he'd be willing to accept this kind of help from you. If he insists you should do it... he very well could be "playing up to you" to see if he can re-establish the old relationship... so be aware of that tactic!
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RE: Should I leave him? - 7/2/2008 6:21:51 PM
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Szaftoo
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From: So. Calif.
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Just my opinion, you need to end your relationship immediately. You can be a good friend, pray for his salvation and live a Christian life in front of him. It's the job of the Holy Spirit to convict him, not you.
There is a good reason scripture speaks about being unequally yoked in a relationship. Read the many posts on this board of women married to unbelievers, it's difficult and sometimes painful for them.
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RE: Should I leave him? - 7/3/2008 10:37:18 PM
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free-to-worship
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I assume that you are a Christian, and you have stated that your boyfriend is not. The Bible, which is the word of God, tells us not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. This doesn't mean that you can't be friends with an unbeliever, but it does mean that you should not become to involved in their activities. As this guy's girlfriend, you are involved in his life and the things that goes on in it, and if you are not already, you soon will be, or there will be no cause for a relationship between you two. Contrary to what some think, it is not your God-given mission in life to get him 'saved', but it is your responsibility to offer him the gospel of Jesus Christ, so that he can make a personal choice to follow and give his heart to HIM. One of the worst mistakes singles make is thinking that they can change a person. You cannot change him, you can only pray for him and present the gospel. If he accepts the gospel, it is God who will do the changing. What will happen is, you will find yourself being influenced by his way of thinking. The Bible says, "How can two walk together, unless they both agree?" You two don't agree. You believe and he doesn't. You have to make up your mind as to who you want to serve with your whole heart. Is it your boyufriend or God? If you are not careful, you will begin to compromise God's absolutes. You will begin to compromise His truths, because you will want to please your boyfriend. I will not tell you to leave, but I would caution you not to stay in an unequally yoked romantic relationship. It can be hazardous to your walk with God. God bless, and think about what you are doing. You already know the answer to the question you asked. God has already given it to your heart.
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RE: Should I leave him? - 7/5/2008 10:32:37 AM
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gaylel1
Posts: 1507
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You should know the answer to that. And as a Christian woman, you should know better than even living with someone who is going to compomise your faith. I'ts not an opinion, but a fact. God tells us that we are not to be unequally yoked (2nd Cor 6:14) with someone who is not of the faith.
You cannot help this man because that is called missionary dating, which is dangerous for a Christian.
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RE: Should I leave him? - 7/5/2008 10:49:06 AM
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deermousie
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Nickie, are you still here?
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RE: Should I leave him? - 7/6/2008 8:20:46 PM
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DansHopeandLove
Posts: 5
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From: Weston, FL [Ft. Lauderdale]
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It is super simple...you have to first be sold out to Christ before anything. The bible speaks about being unequally yoked. It means that we are NOT to be with those who are NOT Christians.
I recently got divorced after 13 years of marriage (15 together) and now I realize that the biggest mistake I made was that I was unequally yoked and was not sold out for Christ.
Don't play the fence my friend, leave your boyfriend and leave him now. God has certainly someone much better looking, loving, caring, ethical, moral, unselfish, passionate, etc. than what you currently have in your boyfriend. Why are settling for less? Respect and honor yourself more than that. Do not conform yourself to the patterns of this world. Even if your friends or your mind say that he is a "good catch", ignore them, get right with God first and then proceed. I am currently reading the book titled, "Choosing God's Best" and plan to read "Lady in Waiting" next. Just so that I can discover, even at my old age, what/who God has in store for me when it comes to that special someone.
I am suffering/mourning my recent marriage - I will NOT fail myself again but trusting my own judgment; instead I choose to trust the Lord God who knew me even before he created the Heavens and the Earth.
Hope this helps.
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RE: Should I leave him? - 7/7/2008 8:06:31 PM
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preserved
Posts: 1049
Joined: 6/12/2007
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quote:
ORIGINAL: free-to-worship
I assume that you are a Christian, and you have stated that your boyfriend is not. The Bible, which is the word of God, tells us not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. This doesn't mean that you can't be friends with an unbeliever, but it does mean that you should not become to involved in their activities. As this guy's girlfriend, you are involved in his life and the things that goes on in it, and if you are not already, you soon will be, or there will be no cause for a relationship between you two. Contrary to what some think, it is not your God-given mission in life to get him 'saved', but it is your responsibility to offer him the gospel of Jesus Christ, so that he can make a personal choice to follow and give his heart to HIM. One of the worst mistakes singles make is thinking that they can change a person. You cannot change him, you can only pray for him and present the gospel. If he accepts the gospel, it is God who will do the changing. What will happen is, you will find yourself being influenced by his way of thinking. The Bible says, "How can two walk together, unless they both agree?" You two don't agree. You believe and he doesn't. You have to make up your mind as to who you want to serve with your whole heart. Is it your boyufriend or God? If you are not careful, you will begin to compromise God's absolutes. You will begin to compromise His truths, because you will want to please your boyfriend. I will not tell you to leave, but I would caution you not to stay in an unequally yoked romantic relationship. It can be hazardous to your walk with God. God bless, and think about what you are doing. You already know the answer to the question you asked. God has already given it to your heart.
freetoworship...said it all:) This is exactly why single christians get involved with unsaved men or women....they think they will change...reality they will not need to because the males or females in turn made the change towards the opposite...I have heard so many men and some husbands indicating that they had no desire to become save because my christian females accepted them as they were....
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RE: Should I leave him? - 7/8/2008 11:32:36 PM
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georgerobbyjr
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If you can be friends with him and witness to him that's great, but you shouldn't be romantically involved with non-christians. I'm afraid the answer is that simple, and not what you wanted to hear. The question is not whether or not you should leave him, you probably know you should, but rather, what do you intend to do?
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RE: Should I leave him? - 7/10/2008 9:10:09 AM
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SusieQ567
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From: SouthEast
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Sweetie, I'm sorry but scripture is clear on this. Do not be yoked with unbelievers, the way you phrase the question makes me wonder if you're living together. I hope not. The stats on couples that live together before marriage are really not good. Take a break, be friends and tell him Jesus is #1.
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Jeremiah 29:11
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RE: Should I leave him? - 7/10/2008 11:44:50 AM
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fluffmonkey
Posts: 1758
Joined: 2/17/2007
From: some where over the rainbow
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Nickie, you should end your relationship with him, the bible is clear that non-believers and believers should not be yoked togther. How-ever it doesnt mean you cant be his friend and help guide him...although it may be tough because you were in relationship with him but if you care and want him to change maybe you can continue to be his friend and help show him the way to a christian life.
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RE: Should I leave him? - 7/13/2008 6:48:43 AM
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ebony101
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From: the big blue marble
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I just want to say that not all people who go to church are bona fide Christians who abide by Christianly standards. Sometimes the "infidels" have more insight into Christianly standards than the believers.
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By the things that we do & the words that we say.'
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RE: Should I leave him? - 7/16/2008 9:53:26 AM
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AlwaysR8chel
Posts: 4370
Joined: 4/11/2005
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...... sometimes we forget that God is bigger.... and He doesn't really need our help.
Marriage #1 for me.... He didn't have Jesus in his heart... although he thought Jesus was a nice idea.... I thought I could help him find Jesus.... it didn't happen.... he pulled me into his pit... it was horrible.
I'm not saying that this will happen to everyone... but this is what happened to me...
I wished I would have recognized that God is bigger.... that God had him in God's hands.... and anything I did just made things worse...
I should have stepped back.... distanced myself.... and let God do His thing.....
Should you leave? Only you know that answer.... it's the quiet voice deep inside your heart you need to be listening too....
A God-given relationship will place perfect peace in your heart...
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RE: Should I leave him? - 7/16/2008 1:46:33 PM
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slushie
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Yeah.... In my opinion you should leave the relationship. It makes things really complicated, hoping to marry someone who's not a Christian, and hoping to change that person. Maybe you may be thinking that you can help him find Jesus. That will most likely not be the case.... and what might happen is that he will pull you away from God.
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RE: Should I leave him? - 7/18/2008 7:27:27 PM
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preserved
Posts: 1049
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everyone...if you noticed Nickie18 has not been back since she asked the question??
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