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The male/female perspective... - 7/25/2008 12:16:18 PM
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passionate218
Posts: 4
Joined: 5/28/2005
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I've been having an ongoing discussion with some friends of mine (male and female) concerning the male perspective on love and the expression of physical affection.
A friend of mine was trying to explain to her boyfriend at the time (they have since married) about how she did not want to kiss him until he knew for sure that he loved her. In her opinion it was illogical for her to give her heart away to a man that had not reached a conclusion on how he felt about her.
He did not get her point...haha...
I've tried to have the same type of conversation with my guy. There is a clear disconnect in his understanding of what I am trying to say. Because he feels that a kiss is an expression of how deeply he feels...even if it falls short of him professing his love, he doesn't see the problem.
After talking to several friends, it seems that the varying perspective on the issue is split right down the middle according to gender.
I would love any input on this! Anyone want to weigh in?
-Passionate
_____________________________
"He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain that which he cannot lose." ~Jim Elliot~
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RE: The male/female perspective... - 7/26/2008 12:20:42 PM
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jaimestarcross
Posts: 789
Joined: 11/28/2005
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He got the point - guys get the point when the girl states rules against kissing or etc - the problem is - they don't like the rules!
Nothing has changed since I was single and trying to date.
Guys didn't like rules then and they don't like them now ---but just to be fair,
there are girls who are the same way - if the guys have higher standards than hers... those girls don't like it!
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RE: The male/female perspective... - 7/26/2008 12:42:09 PM
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Focusing
Posts: 5957
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I believe that physical affection is only appropriate in a relationship that is serious.
Now, that doesn't mean we don't have *those* feelings in a less serious relationship. LOL ... that's biology! But exercising self-control is very important. Allowing ourselves to express physical affection causes us to focus on how good we *feel* rather than allowing us to focus and continue developing more important aspects of the relationship: trust, honesty, expressing vulnerability, sharing our faith on a deep level.
Of course, this has been my personal experience. I did it the *other* way in the past, and now I'm doing it God's way. God's way is soooooooo much better!!
Huh, a verse seems to come to mind ... For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways and My thoughts than your thoughts, Isaiah 55:9.
_____________________________
There is an appointed time for everything. And there is a time for every event under heaven
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RE: The male/female perspective... - 7/26/2008 2:00:35 PM
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deermousie
Posts: 1845
Joined: 9/26/2007
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Others here have said this, but I'll put it more bluntly: it's a sin problem. Our culture allows us to sexually arouse ourselves on others we aren't married to, and many Christians don't go to churches that preach from the pulpit that that's not a good idea. 1 Cor. 7:1, 2 says it's not good for a man to touch of woman, but because of immorality let every man have his own wife and every woman her own husband.
Done. Touching and sex belong in marriage. Otherwise, it's not good.
"Oh, but I waaaaant to kiss him/her!!!!" It's selfishness. We can invent all kinds of reasons to make it OK. Nobody said it wasn't OK. But the Bible says it.
Your friend is to be congratulated on getting it exactly right. When we start kissing someone, our brains can go right out the window, and the person we should be looking at critically as a potential mate takes on the blind glow of an already-mate and we can't see the problems that might cause us to look elsewhere for a better match.
Look at a potential mate with two eyes, and a mate with half an eye. God will help. 
Good for you, Passionate. This is an excellent question. It's also a good test for your bf, to show him the verses and see if he wants God's ways or his own ways.
_____________________________
Want to know where a certain word or phrase in the Bible is found? www.biblegateway.com Yay!
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RE: The male/female perspective... - 7/26/2008 3:12:00 PM
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passionate218
Posts: 4
Joined: 5/28/2005
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Thanks so much for responding everyone! It's true...God's ways are the best ways!
_____________________________
"He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain that which he cannot lose." ~Jim Elliot~
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