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What would you do if.....hit her - 6/13/2008 1:20:07 AM
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aldrmctchr
Posts: 26
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You and your spouse were having dinner with a friend and his wife and you were playing some kind of card or board game and your friend did not like something the spouse did or said and he (angrily) slapped her in the head enough to embarrass her, make her cry, hurt her, and make her leave. What would you do or say to your friend.....
And would you ever do that to a woman and what are your thoughts on a man who would.....talk about LOADED question.....
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RE: What would you do if.....hit her - 6/13/2008 11:27:20 AM
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freakofnature
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Difficult situation. If they are new friends, I think I'd have to take the "gentlmen" outside for a stern but non-violent discussion on the treatment of women, thank him for coming and then ask him to leave. If they are old friends that I have known for a while, I think I'd reach up and slap him myself...
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RE: What would you do if.....hit her - 6/13/2008 12:44:20 PM
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1love1God1way
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They would not be allowed back into my house.
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RE: What would you do if.....hit her - 6/13/2008 1:06:09 PM
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APZR
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From: GA
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I don't care if new or old friend, I'd beat the stew outta him.
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Ya can't keep trouble from visitin, but you don't have to offer it a chair.
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RE: What would you do if.....hit her - 6/13/2008 3:01:45 PM
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contend4christ
Posts: 56
Joined: 6/12/2007
From: Los angeles
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Well its very unlikley that I would have a friend who would do such a thing in the first place, because that what would that say about my character. Also according to the Bible in a marriage two become one flesh. So what your asking us is what would we do if one of our friends slapped us in the head and embarrassed us. And take it from me no grown man allows himself to be slapped all "willy nilly".
So my friend would probably get personally escorted out by my bare hands. I'd try to stay Christian, while hoping he resist in the slightest so I could go off and claim self defense lol. (<That is what I hope I would do, though it probably simply be him looking to let him self out when its all said and done  )
Lastly after he gets it physically, the wife would hear it verbally because chances are, what she said probably wasn't from a meek and gentle spirit.
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RE: What would you do if.....hit her - 6/13/2008 6:34:51 PM
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makarizo
Posts: 3007
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I would immediately express my disapproval and confront him.... what would happen next depends.....
I don't think I would react emotionally.
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RE: What would you do if.....hit her - 6/13/2008 10:05:23 PM
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DreadPirateRandy
Posts: 7728
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quote:
ORIGINAL: aldrmctchr
he (angrily) slapped her in the head enough to embarrass her, make her cry, hurt her, and make her leave. What would you do or say to your friend.....
That's probably the most immature reaction anyone would expect out of an adult. If you've known this person, knowing how they react to their emotions, why would you even enter yourself into a situation like that if it's only going to end negatively?
I'm extremely possessive when it comes to her. I would probably become distressed over mere flirting, let alone a violent act. As for what I would do, whatever it is, the end result would not be good for him.
quote:
And would you ever do that to a woman and what are your thoughts on a man who would.....
Those who do are classified as pigs and misrepresent the image of male chivalry.
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The lunatic, the lover, and the poet, are of imagination all compact.
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RE: What would you do if.....hit her - 6/14/2008 12:53:49 AM
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MrFribbles
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From: Hawaii, but I've moved around since then
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I think it would depend on the situation - especially, how good of a friend the person in question is.
If it was a more casual friend, they would be asked to leave, and not asked back, unless some serious repentance happened there, and only with my wife's approval.
If it was a close friend, someone both my wife and I trusted, I would talk with them about it. Either 1, they may not have meant it to upset her, 2, they could've just been having an awful day and were sorry for taking it out on her, or 3, there may be some underlying problem or sin issue that I can help them address in a godly manner.
quote:
And would you ever do that to a woman
I will certainly do my best not to, but I am human, so I can't rule it out.
quote:
what are your thoughts on a man who would
It depends on if it's habitual or a one-time thing. If it's habitual, there are some very, very serious issues behind it that need to be dealt with in a godly, restorative manner. If it's a one-time thing, then it still needs to be dealt with, but probably indicates something more along the lines of a anger problem, and less of a disrespect for women.
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You're a door without a key,
A field without a fence.
You've made a holy fool of me,
And I've thanked you ever since.
- Aaron Weiss
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RE: What would you do if.....hit her - 6/14/2008 5:53:32 AM
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buckifn
Posts: 1791
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call the police and report a case of domestic violence. my initial thoughts on a man who would do that are if he is doing this with people around I hate to imagine how ugly he is in private.
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RE: What would you do if.....hit her - 6/14/2008 8:19:40 AM
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evryknee
Posts: 290
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Did that actually happen??
I would confront the person. My wife would probably go upstairs to comfort the woman while I spoke to the man. I'm sure my wife would ask her stay at our house if she revealed that he has been beating her. The police wouldn't do anything unless they saw violence or charges were going to be filed.
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RE: What would you do if.....hit her - 6/14/2008 10:46:30 AM
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Coffee_Drinker
Posts: 109
Joined: 5/20/2008
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quote:
ORIGINAL: aldrmctchr
You and your spouse were having dinner with a friend and his wife and you were playing some kind of card or board game and your friend did not like something the spouse did or said and he (angrily) slapped her in the head enough to embarrass her, make her cry, hurt her, and make her leave. What would you do or say to your friend.....
And would you ever do that to a woman and what are your thoughts on a man who would.....talk about LOADED question.....
I would chew him out severly, leave, and then end the "friend" relationship.
I would never hit a woman in a situation like that. Now if I was being robbed or some stranger (woman) struck me then I would probably break her jaw or arm or something.
I don't have a lot of respect for men that beat up on woman. Men that can do that have issues and should seek help. Also, abused women should seek help too. But, that could be another thread.
_____________________________
Jesus Christ is the Son of God.
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RE: What would you do if.....hit her - 6/14/2008 11:09:00 PM
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aldrmctchr
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Yes...that did happen...3 times over 15 years (different people around and nobody ever did or said much) and then last August he hit me with his fist (frogged me so he says) and left a bruise on my arm. He thought it was no big deal and said there is no way that it could hurt as bad as I made it out to be. It took me a long time to realize (ADMIT) that I was being verbally abused for sure and sometimes as described above physically. It was when I got a clue and started seeing a christian counselor and telling people about his nasty behavior that he started "wandering" and getting worse with me. The stronger I got...the meaner he got. Until I had had enough. This has been over the last 2 years. I never called the cops because he had threatened me before about it. And recently overtly threatened me with physical/deadly harm. Instead of being uncovered or being on his record should I ever call on him....he decided he was not man enough to work on it or our marriage and headed straight for the divorce door.
I now know I am beautiful and worthy of much better and from now I on I will take no less that what I deserve, which is a God centered person, friendship, compassion, "real" love, honesty, integrity, moral values, and most importantly respect. Our divorce was final on May 30th and all of my friends tell me how much happier I seem, so light and free.....free indeed only through the grace of God!
I was just curious about what other people's thoughts would be about it. Of course he always convinced me before that I was over-reacting....I know better now that I was under-reacting....One day when I am ready I hope to meet some folks like you guys who don't think I was over-reacting! :)
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RE: What would you do if.....hit her - 6/15/2008 12:31:58 AM
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clownfish
Posts: 19
Joined: 6/12/2005
From: Louisiana USA
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quote:
ORIGINAL: aldrmctchr
I was just curious about what other people's thoughts would be about it. Of course he always convinced me before that I was over-reacting....I know better now that I was under-reacting....One day when I am ready I hope to meet some folks like you guys who don't think I was over-reacting! :)
Let me be a little generic here.
My opinion is that it doesn't really matter if you overreacting or underreacting. You were being hurt, and you did not like what was happening. When you expressed that to him, and he wasn't sensitive enough to you to stop the behavior, then that is a big issue.
He could have the most innocent of intentions. However, no matter how benign the action was, if this was something you did not want him to do and you if you clearly communicated that to him, he should have stopped. That is part of marriage: learning what your spouse likes and dislikes and modifying your behavior appropriately. If he didn't change his behavior in deference to you, what love does that show?
< Message edited by clownfish -- 6/15/2008 12:38:15 AM >
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RE: What would you do if.....hit her - 6/15/2008 6:06:24 PM
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freakofnature
Posts: 819
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quote:
aldrmctchr said:
Yes...that did happen...3 times over 15 years
Let me start this post by first saying as a man I am very sorry that this has happened to you aldrmctchr. But let me also say that as a situation as you have described arises, I don't know how most people would react. It may be, here on these post, easy to say what we would like to do, "keystroke tough guys" of sorts.
quote:
I now know I am beautiful and worthy of much better and from now I on I will take no less that what I deserve, which is a God centered person, friendship, compassion, "real" love, honesty, integrity, moral values, and most importantly respect. Our divorce was final on May 30th and all of my friends tell me how much happier I seem, so light and free.....free indeed only through the grace of God!
This is indeed the most important thing for you to remember and focus on. I have been through a divorce myself and I know that I on the outside, seemed happier, but deep down I was a mess. MY ex wife left me and our kids, left me with three children. I would encourage you if you haven't already to seek out Godly counsel, take your time allow God to move on and in your life and continue to tell yourself that you are beautiful and worthy. God Bless, I will, if you don't mind, pray for you.
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RE: What would you do if.....hit her - 6/16/2008 10:32:45 AM
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NoShow
Posts: 462
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What I say would happen and what would probably really happen are two different things.
I would say, after making sure she was okay, I would take him aside and talk about the inappropriateness of what he did.
Based on my past history...what would probably happen, is the same thing that's happened every time, I've been in the presence of a man striking a woman: I would pounce on the guy and beat the **** out of him, not stopping until I've been pulled off of him.
I seem to have some switch that gets flipped when I see someone strike a woman. Which has gotten me in trouble a number of times in the past.
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RE: What would you do if.....hit her - 6/16/2008 4:58:42 PM
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_CANCELLED_
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quote:
ORIGINAL: freakofnature
Difficult situation. If they are new friends, I think I'd have to take the "gentlmen" outside for a stern but non-violent discussion on the treatment of women, thank him for coming and then ask him to leave. If they are old friends that I have known for a while, I think I'd reach up and slap him myself...
I like this answer.
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RE: What would you do if.....hit her - 6/18/2008 7:42:53 AM
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DaveW
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Lets just say that it is a good thing I don't carry a gun.....
He'd be dead and I would be in jail.
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RE: What would you do if.....hit her - 6/18/2008 2:10:51 PM
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Coffee_Drinker
Posts: 109
Joined: 5/20/2008
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quote:
ORIGINAL: aldrmctchr
I now know I am beautiful and worthy of much better and from now I on I will take no less that what I deserve, which is a God centered person, friendship, compassion, "real" love, honesty, integrity, moral values, and most importantly respect. Our divorce was final on May 30th and all of my friends tell me how much happier I seem, so light and free.....free indeed only through the grace of God!
Good for you! God doesn't intend his children to suffer through an abusive marraige or any other relationship.
I hope for the best for you!
_____________________________
Jesus Christ is the Son of God.
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RE: What would you do if.....hit her - 6/21/2008 7:07:50 AM
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buckifn
Posts: 1791
Joined: 5/23/2006
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It amazes me how people so easily explain away domestic violence...why not realize it is a crime against another person ?
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RE: What would you do if.....hit her - 6/25/2008 10:43:54 PM
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SavedByGraceMD
Posts: 905
Joined: 2/13/2008
From: the poconos
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quote:
ORIGINAL: freakofnature
Difficult situation. If they are new friends, I think I'd have to take the "gentlmen" outside for a stern but non-violent discussion on the treatment of women, thank him for coming and then ask him to leave. If they are old friends that I have known for a while, I think I'd reach up and slap him myself...
I agree.
_____________________________
Isaiah 41:10
"Fear not for I am with you,
Do not be dismayed for I am your God,
I will strengthen you and help you,
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand"
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RE: What would you do if.....hit her - 6/28/2008 12:22:45 PM
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trainfan
Posts: 2335
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To answer the OP if it happened in my house. The man would promptly be escorted off the property. If he started taking swings at me he would have to deal with me as well as a large protective dog. After that I am not sure how many swings he would be taking at anyone for a while. Of course I would also be pressing charges if he hit me. Needless to say the friendship would be over.
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RE: What would you do if.....hit her - 7/7/2008 9:00:13 AM
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x0846
Posts: 35
Joined: 5/21/2008
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quote:
ORIGINAL: aldrmctchr
You and your spouse were having dinner with a friend and his wife and you were playing some kind of card or board game and your friend did not like something the spouse did or said and he (angrily) slapped her in the head enough to embarrass her, make her cry, hurt her, and make her leave. What would you do or say to your friend.....
And would you ever do that to a woman and what are your thoughts on a man who would.....talk about LOADED question.....
Someone can't embarrass you, you allow that emotion to happen. Her crying was because she became embarrassed. Her hurt came from her embarrassment and so did her leaving.
If these 'friends' are close friends and I'm sure they are since their hanging out with me. I'd say what the heck is that about. I wouldn't put my internet muscles on and beat him up
Personally, I wouldn't hit a woman, unless she hit me first-no double standard! I find abusing anyone for your own gain is heartless, regardless of gender or age.
[Edited by moderator - TOS 5]
< Message edited by ta_mosquito -- 7/7/2008 11:21:00 PM >
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RE: What would you do if.....hit her - 7/7/2008 9:16:53 AM
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x0846
Posts: 35
Joined: 5/21/2008
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Coffee_Drinker
quote:
ORIGINAL: aldrmctchr
I now know I am beautiful and worthy of much better and from now I on I will take no less that what I deserve, which is a God centered person, friendship, compassion, "real" love, honesty, integrity, moral values, and most importantly respect. Our divorce was final on May 30th and all of my friends tell me how much happier I seem, so light and free.....free indeed only through the grace of God!
Good for you! God doesn't intend his children to suffer through an abusive marraige or any other relationship.
I hope for the best for you!
God gives only two reasons for divorce, abuse isn't one of them. Before you make a life long commitment to GOD you should be sure that you're equally yoked and understand what love is and is not. Don't thank God for his grace, your divorce and your 'freedom' wasn't because of His grace but your lack of faith.
Sorry to say that but it's true.
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RE: What would you do if.....hit her - 7/7/2008 10:56:38 PM
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TheRefinersFire
Posts: 46
Joined: 7/6/2008
From: Sudbury, Ontario
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I'm sorry, I just will not tolerate something like that. In fact, as immature as it is, I would likely grab him by the collar on his neck and show some aggressiveness and tell him that if I ever saw or heard about him doing that again there will be trouble. I know we're supposed to act in love, but that is something I cannot tolerate. It would be like an older male hurting a child. Excuse me, not quite.
Did this really happen, or did you post a hypothetical situation? If it did happen, then someone has to deal with this situation. It cannot be allowed to continue. Men were made to love and protect their wives and families, not hurt and abuse them.
I did not read all of the replies, only five to six.
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I used to be called NewChristian1. The change is a reflection of the season of my life.
2 Tim. 4:2. Eph. 4; 1 Cor. 12
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