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RE: Single and Pregnant - 10/21/2007 5:50:36 PM
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SD456
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quote:
ORIGINAL: clag4christ
Shouldn't this girl be allowed to be excited about her upcoming wedding and the impending birth of her first child? She sinned and has, if she's asked for it, been forgiven...let's move on and encourage the OP to help equip this girl with the proper tools for a successful marriage and proper Biblical parenting...sheesh!
Amen! clag4christ. If this girl knelt before Jesus the day after she sinned and repented then she was instantly forgiven and her sins were washed away. No one would necessarily have seen any period of misery and remorse coming from her because she delt with the sin immediately. More than likely her and her boyfriend had some serious discussions when she found out she was pregnant, also. And for all anyone knows, they knelt before Jesus and dealt with it.
If that is the case, then they can now go forward, washed clean of sin, and have joy in the life they will be leading together. God does not demand that we have a certain period - 1 week, 2 months or 6 months - where we have to walk around in misery openly showing our sorrow of sin. 1 night, 1 hour, is all that is necessary. Jesus can see into their hearts as they pray and He knows if they are truly sorry. Perhaps the aunt wasn't around the young girl enough to see this occur....
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RE: Single and Pregnant - 10/21/2007 6:09:43 PM
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SD456
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Nesher
Yet I've quoted passages that deal with exactly what I'm saying.
The passages you quoted say nothing about public confession.
I'm sorry that you are frustrated with me, Nesher. I know you believe that you are absolutely right and couldn't possibly be wrong, and if I disagree, then of course I must be blind and deaf to the "truth" because I'm not coming into agreement with you. 
We shall just have to agree to disagree on what shame and condemnation is, and on what true godly sorrow and conviction of sin is. And we must agree to disagree on where these things come from: Does the Holy Spirit bring godly sorrow or does He bring shame? They are two completely different things in my understanding.
I for one will never partake in casting shame on another. But you can do it all you want. We will all be judged for our hearts and for the amount of mercy we show to others. As I said before, I shall always rather err on the side of mercy and grace than on the side of legalism and judgement.
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RE: Single and Pregnant - 10/21/2007 11:13:25 PM
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Nesher
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quote:
I'm sorry that you are frustrated with me, Nesher. I know you believe that you are absolutely right and couldn't possibly be wrong, and if I disagree, then of course I must be blind and deaf to the "truth" because I'm not coming into agreement with you.
That and I've actually put effort into explaining my position and studying it while you are seemingly flying by the seat of your pants and what "feels" right to you.
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RE: Single and Pregnant - 10/21/2007 11:33:07 PM
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Nesher
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quote:
I for one will never partake in casting shame on another. But you can do it all you want. We will all be judged for our hearts and for the amount of mercy we show to others. As I said before, I shall always rather err on the side of mercy and grace than on the side of legalism and judgement.
quote:
I for one will never partake in casting shame on another. But you can do it all you want. We will all be judged for our hearts and for the amount of mercy we show to others. As I said before, I shall always rather err on the side of mercy and grace than on the side of legalism and judgement.
Which, of course, is a way for you to get a jab in. The fact is, when you don't confront the sin of a brother, you are actually showing harshness. When you let people sin without consequence, you are failing to show grace or mercy - you are showing hatred.
_____________________________
"Acceptance of the current [physicalist] views is motivated not so much by an independent conviction of their truth as by a terror of what are apparently the only alternatives." John Searle
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RE: Single and Pregnant - 10/22/2007 11:06:51 AM
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rcjames
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quote:
ORIGINAL: SD456
We will all be judged for our hearts and for the amount of mercy we show to others.
Actually we will be judged on our obedience to the Word of God in the New Testament.
Thanks
RC
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RE: Single and Pregnant - 10/22/2007 11:50:18 AM
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SD456
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Nesher
The fact is, when you don't confront the sin of a brother, you are actually showing harshness. When you let people sin without consequence, you are failing to show grace or mercy
I never said that you don't speak to a brother about a sin in their life. I believe that we are to go and speak to someone in love.
We were speaking about public confession and publicly casting shame on people to try and force a repentant heart in them, which has absolutely nothing to do with going in love and speaking to someone.
You are changing the subject, Nesher. For the sake of love I would speak to a brother and for the sake of love I would not pressure, force or bully any one into repentance.
< Message edited by SD456 -- 10/22/2007 5:56:12 PM >
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RE: Single and Pregnant - 10/22/2007 11:52:46 AM
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SD456
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quote:
ORIGINAL: rcjames
quote:
ORIGINAL: SD456
We will all be judged for our hearts and for the amount of mercy we show to others.
Actually we will be judged on our obedience to the Word of God in the New Testament.
Thanks
RC
Actually we will be judged for our love and for doing the will of the Father. According to scripture, if we don't have love then all that we do and say is worthless (even all the scripture obeying you can possibly do) - using scripture incorrectly to beat up on people is not doing the will of our Father nor is it being obediant to scripture. God is not concerned as much with the "letter of the law" than the spirit. And many don't seem to get that.
< Message edited by SD456 -- 10/22/2007 5:55:22 PM >
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RE: Single and Pregnant - 10/22/2007 1:19:15 PM
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bricole77
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quote:
ORIGINAL: SD456
quote:
ORIGINAL: Nesher
The fact is, when you don't confront the sin of a brother, you are actually showing harshness. When you let people sin without consequence, you are failing to show grace or mercy
I never said that you don't speak to a brother about a sin in their life. I believe that we are to go and speak to someone in love.
We were speaking about public confession and publicly casting shame on people to try and force a repentant heart in them, which has absolutely nothing to do with going in love and speaking to someone.
You are changing the subject, Nesher. For the sake of love I would speak to a brother and for the sake of love I would not pressure, force and bully any one into repentance.
you guys are getting way off subject. this thread is about why so many single women are getting pregnant remeber?
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RE: Single and Pregnant - 10/22/2007 2:06:23 PM
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StephK
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Not really. Sin isn't being honestly dealt with in and out of the Church. It's become acceptable to have sex outside marriage which will lead to being single and pregnant in a lot of instances. We definitely must provide ministry and support when these girls get pregnant but the issue of sex outside of marriage needs to be addressed too.
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The heart of the wise inclines to the right but the heart of the fool to the left.
Even as he walks along the road, the fool lacks sense and shows everyone how stupid he is. ~ Ecc. 10:2-3
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RE: Single and Pregnant - 10/24/2007 4:33:53 AM
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everjoyful
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quote:
ORIGINAL: uncabeeil
Apologize for the embarrassment brought on the family?! Ummmm, how about showing support and love to the child? Unless the girl went out and purposely conceived, which is a lot harder than it sounds, she has just made one of the biggest mistakes in her young life. So why pile on more guilt? She knows she made a mistake, it's too late to fix it, so grab that girl in a bearhug and let her know that both God and her family still love her.
What uncabeeil said.
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RE: Single and Pregnant - 10/24/2007 4:45:53 AM
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everjoyful
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quote:
ORIGINAL: bricole77
you guys are getting way off subject. this thread is about why so many single women are getting pregnant remeber?
Can i just enhance this question? Why are there so many men out there (single or married) getting single women pregnant.
I am not attacking any posters (i use the above post simply as a way to help me respond to the op) here I just feel that the question makes it sound like women are stupid and getting themselves pregnant all by themselves. It takes two to tango....and one to be left alone to shoulder any blame and shame while often the daddy is no where to be seen.
The problem is premarital loveless sex . That is why so many single women are getting pregnant.
The world has decided that it's ok to have sex whenever and with whoever you want so noone feels any restriction. any contraceptive is not 100% effective.
I am sure you will all be familiar with the reasons a teenage girl might allow herself to become pregnant I know that I have heard it often from friends or in magazines or in converstaion.
"I just wanted someone to love me, unconditionally." They are referring to the baby. But what they really need is God and us his family.
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john 14 v27...do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.
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RE: Single and Pregnant - 10/24/2007 9:58:35 AM
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relady
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quote:
"I just wanted someone to love me, unconditionally." They are referring to the baby. But what they really need is God and us his family. obviously a statement like this highlights a multitude of problems, not the least of which is that the girl has not received the unconditional love she should have received from her family in the way SHE needed to receive it. That reflects directly back on parenting and parenting styles. So there is plenty of "blame" to go around.
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RE: Single and Pregnant - 10/29/2007 2:58:42 PM
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daisies4u
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quote:
the girl has not received the unconditional love she should have received from her family in the way SHE needed to receive it
Not to start the debate again, but don't you think there is a difference between unconditional love and acceptance of sin? Or even leaving sin out of it....acceptance period.
quote:
That reflects directly back on parenting and parenting styles. So there is plenty of "blame" to go around.
I would accept "blame" if this were my daughter, but she is my niece. Other than whopping her mother over the head to get her to "see the light" what else could I have done?
Our family is totally an uncondional love family. I was not, however, talking about love here, rather embarrassment. Also, I didn't bring up the "father" because that wasn't the issue. I do not assume responsible for him or his actions. This post could have easily been about the father if it had been my nephew.
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RE: Single and Pregnant - 10/29/2007 8:55:36 PM
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relady
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daisies - My last remarks were not directed at you or your family specifically. I was actually addressing an observation that Everjoyful made about many young women who get pregnant. I do not know if it applies you your family or not. I think do think, however, that you appear to be far more concerned over "your" embarrassment than you are with your niece or her welfare. Or at least that's the way it seems to me.
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RE: Single and Pregnant - 10/30/2007 9:41:28 AM
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daisies4u
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quote:
My last remarks were not directed at you or your family specifically. I was actually addressing an observation that Everjoyful made about many young women who get pregnant. I do not know if it applies you your family or not. I think do think, however, that you appear to be far more concerned over "your" embarrassment than you are with your niece or her welfare. Or at least that's the way it seems to me.
That is far from the truth. I am as "hands on" as this niece will allow me to be. In fact, they were married over the weekend and I did most of the wedding for them. My embarrassement will not affect my relationship with her, her new husband or this baby AT ALL! This problem is strictly something that is inside me. My niece doesn't even realize that I feel this way.
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RE: Single and Pregnant - 10/30/2007 4:18:39 PM
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rcjames
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quote:
ORIGINAL: SD456
quote:
ORIGINAL: rcjames
Actually we will be judged on our obedience to the Word of God in the New Testament.
Thanks
RC
Actually we will be judged for our love and for doing the will of the Father. According to scripture, if we don't have love then all that we do and say is worthless (even all the scripture obeying you can possibly do) - using scripture incorrectly to beat up on people is not doing the will of our Father nor is it being obediant to scripture. God is not concerned as much with the "letter of the law" than the spirit. And many don't seem to get that.
If one is obedinet to the New Testament then one will be walking in love and Holiness.
It seems you are "hung up" on the "Letter of the Law" business.
Thanks
RC
_____________________________
Just a country Preacher's humble opinion
Read the first chapter of my latest book here;
http://www.deliveranceofsara.com
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RE: Single and Pregnant - 10/30/2007 5:59:28 PM
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SD456
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quote:
If one is obedinet to the New Testament then one will be walking in love and Holiness.
Sometimes and sometimes not. People can be extremely obedient to scripture to the letter and not have love. And since Holiness does not come from 'doing' things, then obeying scripture to the tee does not make one Holy. If that were not the case then Paul would not have found it necessary to list the things people do without love, making what they do worthless to Jesus. (1 cor 13) The Pharisees were a perfect example of the error of this thought. They followed OT laws to the letter, yet didn't even recognize the Messiah who stood in front of them. Obediance to scripture does not guarantee that love or truth will govern a person's life.
People can worship 'religion' thinking they are worshipping Jesus, it happens all the time. Love is the measure, I believe, that Jesus uses when He looks at our hearts. That's just my opinion
quote:
but don't you think there is a difference between unconditional love and acceptance of sin?
Because we unconditionally love someone doesn't mean their sin is accepted, it simply means that we are putting them in Jesus' hands, giving the Holy Spirit the place to bring conviction on them.
As for embarrassment? That's something in your heart that Jesus needs to deal with, as many of us would probably struggle in one way or another with disappointment, embarrassment, or some time of reaction to a loved one falling.
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RE: Single and Pregnant - 10/30/2007 7:01:05 PM
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relady
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quote:
In fact, they were married over the weekend and I did most of the wedding for them. My embarrassement will not affect my relationship with her, her new husband or this baby AT ALL! This problem is strictly something that is inside me. My niece doesn't even realize that I feel this way. I am glad to hear that! Congrats on the wedding celebration!
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RE: Single and Pregnant - 10/30/2007 9:02:15 PM
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rcjames
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quote:
ORIGINAL: SD456
quote:
If one is obedinet to the New Testament then one will be walking in love and Holiness.
Sometimes and sometimes not. People can be extremely obedient to scripture to the letter and not have love.
I disagree completely.
If one is extremely obedient to Scripture then they will be walking in love.
For example;
(Joh 13:34) A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another.
(Joh 15:12) This is my commandment, That ye love one another, as I have loved you.
(Joh 14:31) But that the world may know that I love the Father; and as the Father gave me commandment, even so I do. Arise, let us go hence.
and on and on.
So if one is obedient to Scripture they will be walking in love and living in Holiness.
Maybe it is the living in Holiness that bothers you?
Thanks
RC
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Read the first chapter of my latest book here;
http://www.deliveranceofsara.com
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RE: Single and Pregnant - 11/1/2007 7:00:29 PM
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SinnerSaved
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There seems to be a great deal of jockeying for position going on in this thread, and many posters who are showing intense pride because they feel a need to make a winning point ie that THEY understand scripture better than someone else. Who is edified by this approach towards our brothers and sisters in Christ?
I advise such people to look at their hand when they point their finger of scorn or blame. There are always 3 fingers pointing back at you. Our Lord told us ‘He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone.’ None of those around him could cast that stone then. Can anyone truly cast it now? I think not!
What about the woman at the well with 5 ‘husbands’ but was not married? Did He lecture her? Did He shun her or condemn her? What about public humiliation? No. Can we, as professing Christians, not do the same as He did - show love, compassion and forgiveness.
quote:
ORIGINAL: amannoftruth
Actually, when we sin we are accountable to our church and its discipline. There may be a distinction between a one-time sin and living a sinful lifestyle, but the point is that it is not a private matter that only affects us.
quote:
ORIGINAL: daisies4u
And when it happens in your family, what do you do? Is it selfish to expect an apology for the embarassement that has been brought on your family?
Fornication is a sin. No question. But a sin against who? The Church? The family? In my bible, David confessed his sin to the Lord: ‘Against thee, thee only, have I sinned, and done this evil in thy sight’. He was also dealt with by the Lord, not the Church, not his family.
quote:
ORIGINAL: Jenny-Fair
So, yes, premarital sex was my own sin, but it was truly a failure of my entire family, and it could have been prevented by them.
Do I see shades of the Fall in this statement? Adam blames Eve, Eve blames the serpent…..
quote:
ORIGINAL: doinkdom
This boy and girl sinned, yes. We get that. What do we do now with it? We continue to teach and care for our children. We forgive as God forgave us.
We must not confuse the act of fornication with the resulting child of that sin. The child is not the sin. This girl has repented of the sin, but as a result she has another life to be responsible for and all that ensues from that choice.
Her outward repentence cannot be judged based on her keeping this child. She may never have sex again...but that doesn't change the fact of this baby coming into the world. And that baby should NOT be treated as a reminder of sin, but a gift from a holy God who will take what we want to be bad and use it for good to glorify Himself.
Amen and Amen
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RE: Single and Pregnant - 11/1/2007 7:16:47 PM
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Jenny-Fair
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quote:
Do I see shades of the Fall in this statement? Adam blames Eve, Eve blames the serpent…..
It isn't blame. It's an honest look at what happened in an attempt to learn from, rather than repeat, history. I stressed many times in this thread that I was responsible for my own sin.
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RE: Single and Pregnant - 11/6/2007 11:51:19 AM
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worthaboverubies
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daisies, didn't you say she was a youth leader? I think she shoud be held accountable(a 4 letter word to some) for what she did. She shoud admit she did wrong and then move on.
Leaders are always held to a higher standard than those they lead.
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RE: Single and Pregnant - 11/9/2007 10:41:38 PM
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ColtsFan1912
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I'm a 27 year old woman who is NOT married & I am now 9 months pregnant, expectin' my son to be born any day now.
Was sex outside of marriage a mistake? Yes, & I've repented of it. God knows my heart like noone else & He knows the shame I felt over what I've been through these last 9 months. He know how I wept over the decisions I made but also how fiercely I already love this child I've felt movin' inside of me. He knows the fear I feel over the judgment I get from people. . .also the grace I've recieved from my family & friends.
My family is NOT ashamed or embarrassed because of my situation. They love me like God does. Unconditional & have been with me every broken step with me. My friends have supported me with the struggles I had to face. With the shame & guilt I had to see every time I looked in the mirror.
Yes I'm a Christian. Yes I believe in God In Jesus. I believe in Mercy, Grace, Forgiveness. I believe in the cross & the blood that poured for me. for MY sins. For THIS sin. I believe in love & hope. I believe that God loves me & my son. He sees me now & knows my fears, my struggle. & He loves me . . .still. No matter what. How far we fall. What we say . . .what we do. . .He loves me. He loves us.
Its easy to see me, & point fingers. . .ive seen it. To be called a whore. . .a sinner. . .faithless. I've seen it. I've heard it. From people who say they love God. People who sit in their pews on Sunday & condemn me on Monday.
I KNOW all Christians are NOT like that. I've meant the most wonderful people of God who love me for who i am. But its heartbreakin' to see the fingers
Do not people realize ive already said all those things ot myself? that I've already beat myself into the ground? That I hurt for the pain i caused Jesus on the cross because of my sins (not just this one of course)
oh to love like God. If only we all could.If only I could.
The song "DOes anyone hear her" by Casting Crowns really fits how i felt 'bout things. I wonder if anyone does or if all they see is my bare left finger & my protrudin' belly.
"all they can see is her scarlet letter, & they never even met her"
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RE: Single and Pregnant - 11/9/2007 10:45:56 PM
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landabee
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ColtsFan, be encouraged dear. Love your Lord, love your baby and know that you have repented.
Continue to surround yourself with the fellowship of those close to you that have seen your walk and encourage you on the right path.
Pay no mind to the naysayers and finger pointers. Keep your eyes on Jesus.
God bless.
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