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RE: Magdaleine's Alabaster Atrium - 6/29/2008 9:22:42 PM
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magdaleine
Posts: 5166
Joined: 4/11/2005
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I agree about cruel. I had an experience somewhat similar. I had been invited to go to a week long conference that cost $1000. It was training to be involved in an awesome course to help people with sexual and relational issues. The director said that we would ALL get involved in leadership in some way after the conference and when the small group leader at the conference that I had gave her evaluation to me, she was a green light to go. No problem. But I had concerns and went and spoke to the director and he said, "Of course you'll be involved in leadership." I wasn't allowed. The director's wife decided I needed to take the course again. And it didn't matter what I had been promised. I was absolutely crushed and devastated.
{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Slushie}}}}}}}}}}}}
_____________________________
Maggie
Ask me about my book. It's now available online!
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RE: Magdaleine's Alabaster Atrium - 6/30/2008 2:40:57 PM
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magdaleine
Posts: 5166
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Thanks for the hug. Yeah, it was nasty and I was so disappointed. I cried about it for days. It was a husband and wife team. The husband oversees the larger organization and his wife the particular program. It was the husband who made the promises and his wife who killed them. She wanted to catch up with what had been happening in my life and because the whole point of this course is open transparency, I gave told her the truth. There had been a few problems. As I told her, I started to cry because the problems were still painful. It was on that basis that she thought I needed the course again.
_____________________________
Maggie
Ask me about my book. It's now available online!
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RE: Magdaleine's Alabaster Atrium - 6/30/2008 6:03:45 PM
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magdaleine
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quote:
So the husband would make the big promises and his wife would be like, "Oh no, sorry... for _____ reason" so the promises couldn't be kept? Do you know if it happened a lot? Ugh.
I don't know how often it happened with others but it happened again with me and them and I got kicked out of the course altogether. That started when I blogged about the conference I'd been to. It was awesome and so I wrote about what I had learned and specifically to how it applied to me. I made the mistake of thinking I was honouring the national leader of this organization and mentioned him by name. Bad move. He found my blog posts and went ballistic. Instead of confronting me, he contacted the local leaders--this couple. I was told to remove them, so I did (I think I eventually put them back though). They told me they didn't want me blogging any more. I argued.
The issue, purportedly, was confidentiality but I never told anyone else's story--only mine. What I think the real problem was, at least at the national level, was that they didn't want people to be aware of certain things done in the classes and prayer times--not that there was anything wrong with what they did but rather they wanted to appeal to all stripes of Christians and not scare the more traditional Christians with their charismatic leanings. Further, they were worried that if I was giving away all their teaching, why would anyone want to then come and take the classes, spending several hundred dollars or more? That's silly because the teaching is available publically anyway and the best part of the course wasn't the teaching but the prayer ministry time. You can't get that from a book or a blog.
Anyway, I argued with them and the man agreed that I could continue to blog but that I would send each post to him first, for him to approve it before I posted it. I called that censorship and was very annoyed but it was important for me to win their trust, go through the course and be able to work with this ministry so I complied (and tried to make the censorship as onerous as I could--such as a long post each day, and stuff that had nothing anyone could get upset with, etc.).
Then one day the woman was checking my blog and got really upset at a post I had written. Her husband had already approved it but she didn't. She objected to me referring to her and her husband as censors. And so I was asked to leave the course and the organization.
It was an enormously painful time for me because I was certain that theirs was the ministry where God wanted me to work. Apparently not. Or, at least, not then. In fact, the book I'm publishing would have a lot more credibility if I had the support of this couple and their ministry behind it but I haven't even bothered to tell them about the book.
Sometimes it's hard to see where God is leading us when the road is painful. I really don't know what God was doing through what happened to me. But I do know that all things work together for good for those who love God and I love God. I know God is leading me and he's shaping my life for something that's ahead. I am confident about that. My guess is that he's doing the same for you. So these disappointments, these hurts, wounds and detours are part of what will shape us into who he wants us to be to do the work he wants us to do. And we may not know for years what it's all about. But we can trust God. (Still, these people can be very annoying, can't they?)
_____________________________
Maggie
Ask me about my book. It's now available online!
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RE: Magdaleine's Alabaster Atrium - 7/1/2008 6:19:09 AM
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vmginny
Posts: 589
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Understand perfectly.
_____________________________
Mark 10:27
Looking at them, Jesus *said, “ With people it is impossible, but not with God; for all things are possible with God.”
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RE: Magdaleine's Alabaster Atrium - 7/1/2008 8:33:51 AM
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slushie
Posts: 2006
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AMEN. Thank you for sharing that.
That's painful that you were kicked out! but like you said, God does have a plan. And it really doesn't make sense, about the blogging. Like you said, it was about you, not about "OH, so and so did this in this past time". 
Yeah, last night my youth pastor called me up to ask me how things are going. I don't think he's talked in person to the coordinator person that told me I couldn't be in, but the coordinator person told me that he wanted to talk to my youth pastor about me. hmmm. I think i still felt a little bit burned by the experience so I was explaining how I felt to my youth pastor (something I didn't do to the coordinator. I didn't tell him how I felt about him changing his mind after all that) and he agreed that "that's really uncool of him. But you do understand the reasoning?" Anyway, after that I felt a lot better about the whole thing. I don't like to complain.  Maybe it's just my Chinese upbringing..... haha.
Anyway, retreat's tomorrow. I think i have a ride lined up! Yay! i'm so excited!
Right now I have to go to my exam in Biology. See you, Maggie... in 5 days if i don't stop by sometime this afternoon.
_____________________________
Testify to Love
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RE: Magdaleine's Alabaster Atrium - 7/1/2008 8:57:39 AM
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noblesinger
Posts: 879
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From: "Almost Heaven"
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Hi, Maggie!
Mary and I had a wonderful anniversary on Saturday. We awoke at around 5:30am, and she got her shower. When she came back into the bedroom, she had the card which she'd made for me. It was a very sweet one, with one of her little flowers that she draws in it. After reading it, I got out the letter that I'd written to her and read it. She did exactly what I thought she'd do - teared up. BTW, I asked her later on, Maggie, if the part about "teach you" offended her, and she said that it didn't. She expects me to teach her about the things that I know but she doesn't. It's not like I lord it over her, but if she asks me a question, I'll answer it to the best of my ability.
After that, she went and got the bag with my gifts in it. Unfortunately, I had nothing for her to open, because I was taking her to pick out the new running/cross-training shoes she wants. Anyway, she had bought me an FM Transmitter unit so I can use my mp3 player in the car, as well as a portable DVD player. And that evening, when we wento to dinner, she took me into Books-A-Million and bought me the newest Clive Cussler book, Plague Ship. I must've been a very, very good boy this past year!  And she still doen't have her shoes, because Dick's Sporting Goods didn't have the size she needs in the shoes she picked out. I'm not sure if I'll stay with the shoes idea; I may change and get her an outfit or two, and hold off on the shoes until I get my longevity bonus late this month.
Slushie, that really stinks about the conference mix-up, but at least you get to attend it instead of being shut out all the way around.
Dove and Pengie, I'm still praying for both of you.
Gotta run!
Duane
_____________________________
"...the worth and excellency of a soul is to be measured by the object of its love." - Henry Scougal, The Life of God in the Soul of Man
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RE: Magdaleine's Alabaster Atrium - 7/1/2008 8:36:53 PM
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rayofson
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Please don't feed the Ogre.
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RE: Magdaleine's Alabaster Atrium - 7/1/2008 9:06:15 PM
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magdaleine
Posts: 5166
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Hi Ginny! How did your "interview" at work go?
Slushie, I'm glad you were able to talk to you youth pastor and tell him how you're feeling. It's amazing how just talking about something with the right person can help. I'm glad you've got a ride. wooo hooo! And I'd forgotten you're Chinese (if I had ever known but it somehow rings a bell). How did the biology exam go?
Duane, its sounds like you had a lovely anniversary. I'm so glad. Mary sure did give you a lot of nice things! I'm glad she liked your letter.
Shaunii, your photos and flowers are beautiful. Thanks for sharing them. I haven't done nearly as well in my gardening efforts over the years. How was your interview? You are certainly blessed with your family. How good of them to help you out the way they are! But I know you have been very good to them too. It's reciprocal.
Thanks for praying, Ray.
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RE: Magdaleine's Alabaster Atrium - 7/1/2008 9:12:03 PM
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rayofson
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Happy Canada Day! 
(Your National Anthem is much better than ours.)
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Please don't feed the Ogre.
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RE: Magdaleine's Alabaster Atrium - 7/1/2008 9:27:06 PM
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magdaleine
Posts: 5166
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Thanks, Ray! I like it. It's actually a prayer (that's more obvious with the subsequent verses).
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RE: Magdaleine's Alabaster Atrium - 7/1/2008 11:56:41 PM
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magdaleine
Posts: 5166
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 O Canada! Our home and native land! True patriot love in all thy sons command. With glowing hearts we see thee rise, The True North strong and free! From far and wide, O Canada, We stand on guard for thee. God keep our land glorious and free! O Canada, we stand on guard for thee. O Canada, we stand on guard for thee. O Canada! Where pines and maples grow, Great prairies spread and Lordly rivers flow! How dear to us thy broad domain, From East to Western sea! The land of hope for all who toil, The true North strong and free! God keep our land, glorious and free. O Canada, we stand on guard for thee! O Canada, we stand on guard for thee! O Canada! Beneath thy shining skies, May Stalwart sons, and gentle maidens rise. To keep thee steadfast thro' the years, From East to Western sea. Our own beloved native land, Our true North strong and free! God keep our land, glorious and free. O Canada, we stand on guard for thee! O Canada, we stand on guard for thee! Ruler supreme, who hearest humble prayer, Hold our Dominion, in thy loving care. Help us to find, O God, in thee, A lasting rich reward. As waiting for the better day, We ever stand on guard. God keep our land, glorious and free. O Canada, we stand on guard for thee! O Canada, we stand on guard for thee! When I was homeschooling my kids, we sang the last verse every morning instead of the usual first verse.
_____________________________ Maggie Ask me about my book. It's now available online!
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RE: Magdaleine's Alabaster Atrium - 7/2/2008 5:04:06 AM
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Pengie
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Just strolling by to say "Hi"  .
HI!
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Pengie's Puddle
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RE: Magdaleine's Alabaster Atrium - 7/2/2008 6:35:29 AM
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Doveflight
Posts: 1363
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From: middle of nowhere 4 hrs from anywhere
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Hello everyone,
How was the interview Slushie?
How are you Pengie?
You've been busy Maggie. Great stuff. Perhaps you can give me some advice. I just made contact with an old high school friend who I haven't seen since then. She is in a long standing lesbian relationship. I feel sensitive that anything I say about her partner will be double read and at this point all I want to do is to build the freindship again. She's very athletic as she always has been and is scuba diving and other great adventures. She is also supporting the national ovarian cancer alliance. What a surprise. I told her I was very grateful for all her support in the past. Anyway, my issue may be just me but she is aware I have always been a conservative believer so I assume she expects some reaction/response.
_____________________________
If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I am made for another world. C.S. Lewis
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RE: Magdaleine's Alabaster Atrium - 7/2/2008 11:49:17 AM
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magdaleine
Posts: 5166
Joined: 4/11/2005
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Hi Pengie! How are you? What's happening with you? I've been praying
Dove, it was Ginny having an interview at work.
Advice. Why not treat her as you would anyone else? She knows where you stand on the subject of homosexuality so don't raise the topic unless she does. Love her. Give her a big hug when you see her. Go out for lunch with her. Ask her about her various adventures and share your struggles. She is probably bracing herself against expected negative comments from you about her lifestyle. Surprise her by not giving her any. Most homosexuals are completely turned off from Christians because all they've heard from Christians is how full of sin they are and how they're going to hell. Very few of them ever experience God's love through a Christian. You may want to get the book "God's Grace and the Homosexual Next Door: Reaching the Heart of the Gay Men and Women in Your World" by Alan Chambers et al. Here's a link: http://www.amazon.com/Gods-Grace-Homosexual-Next-Door/dp/0736916911 I'll be praying about this. Please keep me up to date?
Slushie, I'm glad your exam went well. And good for you for speaking up to the small group leader coordinator. Please let us know what he has to say when you meet him at the conference! Have fun at the conference and be blessed. Stay safe!
Ds3 dropped by for a while last night. Dh wasn't around so we got to chat a bit about things ds3 doesn't want dh to know. The doctor thinks ds3 has ADD and is bi-polar. My heart sank at the news. But it explains why he's had trouble holding a job or finishing university. A couple months ago ds2 was diagnosed with social phobia so, with my depression, that makes half the family having psychiatric problems. Thinking about it last night made me sick. I don't want my kids to have these problems. I want them to have good, full and happy lives--not crippled by mental illness. I went and did a search about social phobia last night and thought that a lot of the scenarios they described fit me. The friend I shared the link with thought the same.
I'm off to see my psychiatrist in about half an hour. I'm going to talk to her about these things.
_____________________________
Maggie
Ask me about my book. It's now available online!
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RE: Magdaleine's Alabaster Atrium - 7/2/2008 8:45:02 PM
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Doveflight
Posts: 1363
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From: middle of nowhere 4 hrs from anywhere
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Sorry Slushie, Sorry Ginny, Trying to read too much at night I guess. I have been reading my brain dry on narcissism to try to understand my husband's behaviors.
Maggie, I did write to my friend. She responded thanking me for answering her email. She said many past friends had avoided her. I'll be honest that I am uncomfortable with understanding a longterm relationship but it is not any different than my discomfort with my cousin who lives with a woman and expects family to put them up in a shared room when they visit. This is extremely offensive to my parents even though they love their nephew very much. It's also difficult to establish acceptable boundaries with young children observing their relationship that we are teaching them is sin in God's eyes. Yet I speak to them all the time that we love the person not hate them and deal with the sin/behavior appropriately and honestly. Now I am in their shoes.
_____________________________
If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I am made for another world. C.S. Lewis
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RE: Magdaleine's Alabaster Atrium - 7/3/2008 10:35:51 AM
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magdaleine
Posts: 5166
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Yeah, I know it's a hard place to be and in the end, you have to decide what is best for your family--what kind of example you want to give them.
I remember listening to Joe Dallas, one of the major speakers and writers on the Christian side of homosexuality. He was telling how, when he and his family moved, they discovered their next-door neighbours were a lesbian couple. And not just that but very active in their efforts to speak out for homosexuality. And here he is, a known activist AGAINST homosexuality. What would happen? What happened was they became friends. Neither side changed their stance, but the Dallas family had the two women over for dinner many times and were able to show Christ's love to these two women.
I think you've made a good comparison. There really is no difference between a homosexual couple and a heterosexual couple living together unmarried. Yet somehow we treat them differently. My ds2 lived with his girlfriend for nearly a year. Now they're living in different places but I've made it clear that when she comes to visit for a week or two (or however long), they do not share a bedroom. In every other way, I treat her as part of the family. My psychiatrist and I discussed what I would do if I found out one of my sons had a homosexual lover. I want to hope that I would do the same in that scenario as I have with ds2 and his girlfriend.
I'll be praying for you as you find your way through the uncertainties and rebuilding a friendship with this woman. It seems as if simply responding to her has made an impact. {{{{{{{{{Dove}}}}}}}}}}
_____________________________
Maggie
Ask me about my book. It's now available online!
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RE: Magdaleine's Alabaster Atrium - 7/3/2008 5:13:39 PM
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vmginny
Posts: 589
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Maggie, it wasn't an "interview" but a meeting. I showed up for it at the appointed time and was asked to wait. An hour later she came out to talk with me. We went to a private room and she discussed the Manual I had done without being asked on all I've learned this last year in advising students. There were several changes suggested.
She mentioned that I am very meticulous which I am that's true and that perhaps I am too detailed when I talk to students overwhelming them with information. There are a lot of details students have to navigate and digest. I guess I became detailed with them because when I first began my job I saw so many files where the students never went to a selection committee because the details that had to be done beforehand didn't get taken care of. I have been trying to help them.
I had a student tell me that I made her feel stupid during one advising session. She asked the same question several times and the answer was the same each time. She kept wanting to know why she had to have a certain class and I kept telling her because it was an admission requirement and ONLY the students who had it would go to selection.
I am sensitive now when I talk to students second guessing what I tell them because I don't want to make them to feel stupid nor do I want to overwhelm them. There's so much I know now about advising and the details that I find it hard to know when to say something and when to wait for the student to figure it out.
I got anxious feelings Wednesday after talking to a student about one of the programs. She came wanting to know about the program for LPNs bridging over to RN and she is not even yet an LPN or in the LPN program. She kept getting mixed up with the information. I told her to take it one step at a time and not look at the whole goal she has for herself but to break down her goals into steps to accomplish and accomplish each step then go on to the next. First of all she needed to be accepted and go through the LPN program. This is how she wanted to progress in becoming an RN so this is where she needed to think first about doing.
She asked me if she should go immediately and quit her job and I asked why she said that and she said because she wanted to get started. I told her that she didn't need to quit her job yet that she would have to wait a whole year before she can get into the next LPN program that she could take a couple of classes ahead of time that would go towards what she needs for the Bridge but she didn't need to quit her job to take them.
Why do the students have so much trouble understanding? Am I advising wrong? Please pray for me in being a better communicator. You know this is the one area I got an exceeds job requirements, communication and yet it seems to be an area I am being questioned on and one I question myself on now.
Dove, Pengie, Shusie, hello. My name is Ginny and I've known Maggie since 2001 I believe. She is one of my best friends and a great support. Her and Leah supported me when I really needed friends.
Maggie, being bipolar is not the end of life nor is being ADD. One of my sons is ADHD and he is the most successful of my children business wise. And of course you know I am bipolar. Many many famous people suffer from mental conditions. Call it a sign of creative genius because most are very creative, intelligent people and people who are intuitive and sensitive.
Ginny
_____________________________
Mark 10:27
Looking at them, Jesus *said, “ With people it is impossible, but not with God; for all things are possible with God.”
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RE: Magdaleine's Alabaster Atrium - 7/3/2008 6:16:00 PM
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magdaleine
Posts: 5166
Joined: 4/11/2005
Status: online
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quote:
Maggie, being bipolar is not the end of life nor is being ADD. One of my sons is ADHD and he is the most successful of my children business wise. And of course you know I am bipolar. Many many famous people suffer from mental conditions. Call it a sign of creative genius because most are very creative, intelligent people and people who are intuitive and sensitive.
Yeah, I think that's what my doctor on Wednesday was trying to tell me.
quote:
it wasn't an "interview" but a meeting.
Yeah, sorry.
quote:
I showed up for it at the appointed time and was asked to wait. An hour later she came out to talk with me.
That was rather rude of her--unless she had some sort of emergency that popped up.
I gather you continue to have a job. Did you ask for some time off this summer?
It sounds like you got some good feedback--you're meticulous, you exceed requirements in communication, you have done things that benefit the students without being asked.
quote:
I had a student tell me that I made her feel stupid during one advising session. She asked the same question several times and the answer was the same each time. She kept wanting to know why she had to have a certain class and I kept telling her because it was an admission requirement and ONLY the students who had it would go to selection.
You know, some people ARE stupid. And it doesn't matter how good a communicator you are; some people just won't get it. If someone keeps asking the same questions, one thing to ask them is, "What do you need me to clarify?" or "Could you please reword your question?"
I think this is a job where you will continue to learn to do better. There's no way you can know it all immediately or even after only a year. I know you're nervous now that you feel you've been criticized but the fact that you still have the job shows that they are happy with you. If they weren't, you would be out of a job. I'd like to encourage you to relax. Take the input you've been given to improve, but don't think that you're doing a bad job.
quote:
Why do the students have so much trouble understanding? Am I advising wrong? Please pray for me in being a better communicator.
As I said earlier. Some people are stupid. Some aren't very good at listening. I doubt you're advising them wrongly. But I will pray. I will also pray that God will give you more confidence. I am quite convinced that you're doing far better than you think you are. {{{{{{{Ginny}}}}}}}
quote:
Dove, Pengie, Shusie, hello. My name is Ginny and I've known Maggie since 2001 I believe.
Yep! You were one of the regulars when I joined CW in May 2001 (though you may have started around the same time I did--I can't remember). I think it was in August of that year that you asked if we could be prayer partners. When I visited Missouri in June 2002, we met at a restaurant in Rolla with saltlight. Do you remember that? I think we prayed for our waiter while he stood there--though I can't remember what we were praying for. After eating, you took us on a tour of Rolla, including where your hubby worked at the time and a nice large park. I remember having a great time. I wish we'd had more time to visit this past summer but you were fresh out of the hospital and needed your rest. I'm sure I'll be back, however.
I went back to the dentist today because my mouth was still very sore. He stuck two very long needles of freezing in my mouth. The first one felt like it was going to go through my cheek. Then he drilled and drilled and drilled some more. I was able to watch some of what he was doing by the reflection in his magnifying goggles. When he finished drilling, he pushed stuff into the cavity and then he had some sort of tool that looked like thin, flexible rod that he moved up and down inside my tooth like a plunger and then turned as if he was screwing it in. He did this a whole pile of times before he finally put a temporary filling in. Now the freezing is coming out and my mouth and tooth are hurting again. Arghhhhhhh!
I don't think I've said in this thread. Tomorrow dh and I are leaving for a week of family camp. I'm looking forward to it. There's no internet and no cell phone reception so it's truly an isolated place, though I might keep my eyes open for some place nearby that has wireless. There's one meeting per day--in the morning. The rest of the time is completely free and all our meals are made for us. I'm hoping to use some of the time to build up my strength. Since I won't have housework to do, I will go walking for as long and as far as I can manage each day.
Today I walked all through Costco (ds2 came with me to push the cart and do the heavy work), which is the most walking I've done since the surgery. I also walked home from the dentist (a few short blocks) and then made lasagna and dressing for the salad, so I'm impressed I've been able to do so much. By the time we get back (next Friday), it will have been a month since the surgery and I'll be finally able to take a bath. Woooo hoooo! (I have had showers.)
Oh! Ds1 comes home from Europe this evening. Dh is going to go meet him at the airport and he should be back home here in about an hour--hence the lasagna and caesar's salad. It's his favourite meal.
_____________________________
Maggie
Ask me about my book. It's now available online!
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RE: Magdaleine's Alabaster Atrium - 7/3/2008 6:33:32 PM
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Shaunii
Posts: 1238
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Hey all,
Maggie I hope you have a great trip.
Thank you all for the prayers. The interviewer liked me (I've heard) and I got an email from her asking me to fill out an application and fax it to her immediately. Also, when I left her she told me that the next step was that I'd hear from HR to ask for references and discuss salary... If she wasn't intersted there'd be no need for the email... when I didn't respond to the email (didn't check yesterday) she called today to verify that it was my email or that I'd received it... so... it looks like I'll be getting an offer next week | | |
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I thought that the Dusty Millers would be great borders... I'll know better next year... they're great side borders or seperators but they are SO tall that they have hidden my marigolds, petunies and "carpet somethings" oh well... For my first time I think it looks great... on my smaller bed I have them on the side so they kind of frame the garden in... but the large one... when I'm standing over them they look great... I had no idea that got that tall... but I'm still a proud momma 
