When are we going to come out of hiding??? (Full Version)

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BlackCapnHarlock -> When are we going to come out of hiding??? (5/25/2008 10:03:43 PM)

I feel like most Christian men and some christian women struggle with sexual sins and all we do is just repeat this cycle

1. Sin

2. Repent

3. Guilt

4. shame

5. Pray and or fast

6. Read the bible

7. Promise or commit never to do it again.

8. Get exposed to sexually stimulating material accidentally or see an attractive person.

9. Fight thoughts.

10. Stressor hits.

11. Resort to fantasy

12. Find sexual stimulating material

13. SIN (masturbation, fornication, adultery, etc)

14. Start cycle all over again.

Why can't we come out of hiding? Last night after reading the masturbation thread I prayed to GOD. I prayed and I shouted, I LOVE PORN!! I WANT TO SEE AND WATCH PORN!!!! Then my heart crumbled and I said, "No I don't, I want you to take away the pain inside."

I saw myself as GOD saw me not as some closet pervert or hypocrite, but as a fractured man in need of his love and his HOLINESS.

It felt good, had good thoughts today at church, and haven't come close to any porn or masturbation all day. Why? I feel free, even though stress hit me hard today and last night after I prayed.

I want to come out, I want us all to come out and shout, WE LOVE PORN, WE LOVE FREAKY NASTY SEX, WE LOVE THIS OR THAT SINFUL SEX, LORD HELP US, FELLOW CHRISTIANS HELP US!!!!

Then I think we beat these things, we beat porn, we beat lust, we beat adultery, we beat swinging and open marriages, we defeat it all, ALL.

We need to get real with each other, but church tradition in error won't let us, it won't, we just keep hiding in shame and posting on message boards.

I read a good book, "When good men are tempted." One thing it is right about, locking arms, we have to come out the church can't hide or run from our over sexual immorality emphasized society.

We need to meet the enemy head on not by shouting REPENT YE SINNERS! But by saying, lets get honest, let's get with each other, let's work through this and have real repentance and real holiness.

Amen.

BCH



Konstantinos -> RE: When are we going to come out of hiding??? (5/26/2008 3:26:40 AM)

because everyone will look at us weird and girls will think we are gross perverts. apparently our sins are somehow worse and not worthy of being mentioned



BlackCapnHarlock -> RE: When are we going to come out of hiding??? (5/26/2008 9:13:02 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Konstantinos

because everyone will look at us weird and girls will think we are gross perverts. apparently our sins are somehow worse and not worthy of being mentioned


So! Many women are gross perverts if that's the case, who do you think are in the films that we are watching? The strip clubs that we attend? etc. . .

We need to do this, we need to break Satan's hand of shame . . .

But I can't do it alone, we can't do it alone, we need to do this as a body of CHRIST, the more we come out about this, we can deal with issues in the body and when the body is strong the life is and the things it can achieve are strong.



beyond -> RE: When are we going to come out of hiding??? (5/28/2008 8:14:39 PM)

I'm with ya BCH, reading your first post was like,man I know right where he's comeing from! I have been caught in this cycle of sin for many years. I have come out and shared my struggles with other men in the church, but I have not been able to gain any lasting freedom. It really tears me up inside to! The guilt and shame that I feel keeps me from the place I want to be most, in His presence! I have began to doubt that their is any lasting freedom for me. I can win some battles for awhile but the bottom always falls out eventually! Sucks bad! I have to keep trying though, I have no where else to go.



BlackCapnHarlock -> RE: When are we going to come out of hiding??? (5/30/2008 6:14:56 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: beyond

I'm with ya BCH, reading your first post was like,man I know right where he's comeing from! I have been caught in this cycle of sin for many years. I have come out and shared my struggles with other men in the church, but I have not been able to gain any lasting freedom. It really tears me up inside to! The guilt and shame that I feel keeps me from the place I want to be most, in His presence! I have began to doubt that their is any lasting freedom for me. I can win some battles for awhile but the bottom always falls out eventually! Sucks bad! I have to keep trying though, I have no where else to go.


We have to win this war, and you will. Losing battles is a part of the whole fight of faith, but so is the eternal victory in JESUS CHRIST our LORD.



windlover44 -> RE: When are we going to come out of hiding??? (5/31/2008 9:04:19 AM)

You know, I always want to appreciate it when someone posts something about how we should cry out to God and ask Him to come and save us...you're absolutely right...we don't keep it on!!!
But can I offer this...from my newly subscribed place here on CrossDaily, I have been covenanting with God that anyone who would want to start a "string"...let me explain...we group together...share address books as far as we contact each other and commit to helping each other grow. You know, the web excites me this way in one essence of my relationship with God...when I'm at my computer, my dedication is to Him, and his people...we are looking for an outlet...well, PEOPLE, here we have each other...thru a machine...and what I think is even greater: We can COMMUNICATE!!! We can PM each other, and ask for help...that comes with getting to know people...and we can CHOOSE who we feel we are to do that with. This is a Christian site, we HAVE BEEN GIVEN THE TOOLS TO DO THIS BY THE ALMIGHTY!!! So let's just keep using them.
I will commit to you, to anyone, to help us get HIS LOVE in our lives only, and will commit to not ever backing down...So anyone for a good cup of Java, maybe some coffee cake, and added to that, how about some good conversation and let's build each other up and the kingdom of God.
I look forward to us all meeting this challenge.

in him,
Windlover44



Konstantinos -> RE: When are we going to come out of hiding??? (5/31/2008 1:39:40 PM)

quote:

So! Many women are gross perverts if that's the case, who do you think are in the films that we are watching? The strip clubs that we attend? etc. . .

We need to do this, we need to break Satan's hand of shame . . .

But I can't do it alone, we can't do it alone, we need to do this as a body of CHRIST, the more we come out about this, we can deal with issues in the body and when the body is strong the life is and the things it can achieve are strong.


i dont really mind. it would be cool and everything to be able to be open about this just like one can be open about other stuff, but really i dont care so much about that anymore. being able to confess it more easily wont stop me from sinning again, it will just make me feel like im more accepted. and i dont need to be accepted all that much anymore by most people. either they'll like me for who i am or they wont. i dont want anything inbetween thats confusing. this way i know how my real friends are and thats what i need. real, good friends, not acceptance or being able to confess without people judging me.

but again, dont get me wrong, i still satnd by what i said at first. it would be cool and better that way. its just not in my top priorities and so even if its possible to change the people to see this matter differently, i just dont think its worth the effort compared to other things...



NealIRC -> RE: When are we going to come out of hiding??? (6/5/2008 5:44:08 PM)

You know, this is a science issue, not a religious 1.

And science has a solution to it.

Castration.



BlackCapnHarlock -> RE: When are we going to come out of hiding??? (6/6/2008 7:31:40 AM)

I find it funny though,

"I used to be a herion addict for 12 years, the LORD delivered me, Hooray"

"I used to be a criminal, a drug dealer, a convict, I even killed someone in a bar fight, the LORD delivered me, hooray,"

"I was addicted to porn for 2 years, and the LORD delivered me, . . . You're not sitting near me . . I don't feel comfortable around you."

That's the difference.



BlackCapnHarlock -> RE: When are we going to come out of hiding??? (6/6/2008 7:34:24 AM)

GOD, Faith, hot chicks, guns, grilling, and finances . . the things of mortal life.

In heart of a mortal man, not satisfied with the wife,
Can GOD redeem me, from this humanity?
YES, but I grip with my own carnality,
Sensuality, passion so great in life,
Amongst the stress and love and joy in life . .
Find my answer in CHRIST'S ability, to overcome his own mortality.



jbow -> RE: When are we going to come out of hiding??? (6/21/2008 2:17:57 AM)

quote:

Then I think we beat these things, we beat porn, we beat lust, we beat adultery, we beat swinging and open marriages, we defeat it all, ALL.


That sound's good. I need it. I am tired of defeat. I have been defeated so many times I sorta lose hope, not totally but I... it just always seems to come back...

I know exactly what you mean.

I am glad that you had this victory, it give's me hope. I'll come back here tomorrow...

J



BlackCapnHarlock -> RE: When are we going to come out of hiding??? (6/22/2008 8:36:34 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: jbow

quote:

Then I think we beat these things, we beat porn, we beat lust, we beat adultery, we beat swinging and open marriages, we defeat it all, ALL.


That sound's good. I need it. I am tired of defeat. I have been defeated so many times I sorta lose hope, not totally but I... it just always seems to come back...

I know exactly what you mean.

I am glad that you had this victory, it give's me hope. I'll come back here tomorrow...

J


Good, take it a day at a time, it's a big beast to slay, take it a day at a time, and tell someone you know. You will be surprised, the more honest you are about it, with folks you can trust, the better and stronger you will be able to be.

Last night, I had the urge, to watch some porn. I was all alone . .. no one around, just me and the porn.

Well I prayed and told GOD how I felt . . well I finished reading and praying and then "Ring" a phone call. One of my buddies in the LORD called and he and I had a good conversation for about 40 minutes. We prayed, some how the urge disappeared. I turned on the TV watched the Tigers and Padres, watched Esther's husband Xerxes get his butt kicked in "300" and then went up stairs and went to sleep.

GOD is faithful, but we must be honest with him about our desire. WE blame satan and evil spirits too much for our sins, its' us. When I pray, "GOD IT'S MY DESIRE" that is when changes occur.

It's us, we are tempted as James says, "Of our own lust" when we stop blaming demons, and blaming women, and be honest and say, "It's us."



jbow -> RE: When are we going to come out of hiding??? (6/23/2008 10:39:45 AM)

You're right Capn...

Let me tell you a bit of what I have been through. Much of my Christian life has been a roller coaster because of my not understanding grace. I have always been a bit of an "all or nothing" kind of person and I would do well for a while, fall into temptation, fall into sin and go hide from God. After some time I would come back and go 100% again until falling again and straying, (backsliding), again. Ove and over...
For the last few years I have conquered this. I still fall but I no longer give up, I get up instead.
I am coming to realize something and it is that I have not understood repentance. I have always fallen to temptation at some point, I may resist fro a bit but it has always managed to wear me down once I start to struggle with it, sin never rests and will always take an advantage.

I have prayed so many times in my life for God to deliver me from this or that sin, mostly this sin. I have been re-reading a great book by Edith Schaeffer called "Christianity is Jewish" and something really jumped out at me that she said about Jesus praying in the garden. He was praying that if there was another way to accomplish salvation for mankind that God would do it instead. He was praying earnestly... Jesus, the only begotten Son of God prayed and the answer He got was, "NO".
This is the answer we are likely to get from God when we pray for deliverance from some sin... "NO... REPENT!". I think that He will deliver us from temptation but not until after we have repented, we have to take responsibility. This may all sound like a "no brainer" to some people but there are others of us who have struggled with it, but God is merciful.

I have, in my life, skirted the issue of repentance. I have allowed myself to be confused by it, thinking that it is legalism. Yes, we are saved by grace through faith but we are also told to repent, it is not something that God is going to do for us.

That is where I am, praying more. Thomas Watson said: (paraphrased), "prayer will kill sin or sin will kill prayer". I have found that to be true at least in the sin killing prayer part. Now I am going to see if prayer will kill sin, (along with my repentance).

I am tired of being miserable. I choose to repent. I'm tired of sinning and askinng for forgivness, sinning and asking for forgivness. God is merciful but I am tired of the wilderness. I will still ask for forgivness if I sin... no longer when I sin but if I sin.

I repent.

I'm with you.

J



kljohnson77 -> RE: When are we going to come out of hiding??? (7/3/2008 10:41:22 AM)

Amen and Amen!

GRACE
God's
Riches
At
Christ's
Expense

If He "paid it all"--and He did--how shall the Father also not give us with Him all things? We will NEVER earn a single infinitesimal good point with God. If ALL our RIGHTEOUSNESSES are like filth rags so what are our unrighteousnesses like? Praise Him for His infinite Grace, Mercy, and Peace!



ChoirDJ -> RE: When are we going to come out of hiding??? (7/3/2008 7:45:47 PM)

Hello Fellow Men,

I'd like to share some encouragement with you. I can't think of anything that has taken the wind out of my sails more that battling sexual sins over the years. Satan had me convinced that it was an invincible battle up until very recently when I would say I had an epiphany of sorts. I too have read and eventually posted on the masturbation thread.

The epiphany came when I realized I could go to God about anything including my battles and frustrations with sexual sins. I'm not sure if you could relate but many say that the root of most addictions stem from a distant or nonexistent emotional connection with our fathers and there's a lot of truth to this statement. I never realized how much pain I was in emotionally over not having that close bond with my father. I was actually exposed to porn at the age of around 6 after my siblings and I came across his secret stash and it led to all types of experimentation when I was a child. Sex was something that was seen as shameful and perverted and I never felt I could go to either of my parents about the questions I had as I got older. Up until recently, I projected that same presumption onto God in that I didn't feel I could approach Him with all the emotional pain I had been in over this issue. I had confessed, repented, expressed my sorrow to God more times than I could remember only to fall back into the same patterns. But, I had never really communicated with God on the level I did this past May. As I poured out my heart to God something "clicked" in my heart and I knew instantly that God had freed me from the shame of this sin. I liken it to the feeling the woman, who had been subject to bleeding for 12 years, when she touched Jesus and had healed instantly (Mk. 5). I got broken about the many years I had been calling God a liar by believing I could never overcome these sins when I had in fact already overcome them. It dawned on me that I had been set free a long time ago but I had still been living like a slave because of my attitude and faithlessness. No I couldn't overcome the power of this sin by my own devices but the power of the Spirit living in me could. I decided that I was not just going to start believing I was free but acting like it.

Brothers, if you are in Christ, then you are a new creation and you have been set free. If you don't believe this with all of your heart then you need to change your attitude. It's almost as if the Lord took me by the hand and said "C'mon son, take my hand. You don't have to be afraid of that big bad bully anymore. Come pour your heart out to me about the real issues when you are hurting and let me help you." The funny thing is I haven't burned with passion since that day but I still continue to talk to God at night as I lay my head on my pillow because I know I can. Just the thought of masturbation and porn is immediately replaced with the image of Christ dying for me, God's love for me, and God's gift of freedom for me. When I think about these things, it pains me too much to contemplate hurting God by giving into a moment of selfishness and I just can't do it anymore. Perhaps the Lord has softened my heart so my encouragement is this. Men, go talk to your heavenly Father about what is really on your hearts because He knows what you are going through.



BlackCapnHarlock -> RE: When are we going to come out of hiding??? (7/4/2008 1:47:36 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: ChoirDJ

Hello Fellow Men,

I'd like to share some encouragement with you. I can't think of anything that has taken the wind out of my sails more that battling sexual sins over the years. Satan had me convinced that it was an invincible battle up until very recently when I would say I had an epiphany of sorts. I too have read and eventually posted on the masturbation thread.

The epiphany came when I realized I could go to God about anything including my battles and frustrations with sexual sins. I'm not sure if you could relate but many say that the root of most addictions stem from a distant or nonexistent emotional connection with our fathers and there's a lot of truth to this statement. I never realized how much pain I was in emotionally over not having that close bond with my father. I was actually exposed to porn at the age of around 6 after my siblings and I came across his secret stash and it led to all types of experimentation when I was a child. Sex was something that was seen as shameful and perverted and I never felt I could go to either of my parents about the questions I had as I got older. Up until recently, I projected that same presumption onto God in that I didn't feel I could approach Him with all the emotional pain I had been in over this issue. I had confessed, repented, expressed my sorrow to God more times than I could remember only to fall back into the same patterns. But, I had never really communicated with God on the level I did this past May. As I poured out my heart to God something "clicked" in my heart and I knew instantly that God had freed me from the shame of this sin. I liken it to the feeling the woman, who had been subject to bleeding for 12 years, when she touched Jesus and had healed instantly (Mk. 5). I got broken about the many years I had been calling God a liar by believing I could never overcome these sins when I had in fact already overcome them. It dawned on me that I had been set free a long time ago but I had still been living like a slave because of my attitude and faithlessness. No I couldn't overcome the power of this sin by my own devices but the power of the Spirit living in me could. I decided that I was not just going to start believing I was free but acting like it.

Brothers, if you are in Christ, then you are a new creation and you have been set free. If you don't believe this with all of your heart then you need to change your attitude. It's almost as if the Lord took me by the hand and said "C'mon son, take my hand. You don't have to be afraid of that big bad bully anymore. Come pour your heart out to me about the real issues when you are hurting and let me help you." The funny thing is I haven't burned with passion since that day but I still continue to talk to God at night as I lay my head on my pillow because I know I can. Just the thought of masturbation and porn is immediately replaced with the image of Christ dying for me, God's love for me, and God's gift of freedom for me. When I think about these things, it pains me too much to contemplate hurting God by giving into a moment of selfishness and I just can't do it anymore. Perhaps the Lord has softened my heart so my encouragement is this. Men, go talk to your heavenly Father about what is really on your hearts because He knows what you are going through.


This is awesome . . and should be shared with many . . .. Amen!!!!!



TheRefinersFire -> RE: When are we going to come out of hiding??? (7/6/2008 11:56:44 PM)

I also have been fighting this for years. I have posted my story here a few times in the last two years. I am right at the end of my rope, and I want off this sin wagon. I cannot fight it any more.

I have tried confession with my friends, and true in depth confession with my pastor. I told him things that I would not share with my closest of friends...Things I cannot share with people. I have tried two local groups, one called SA (Sexaholics Anonymous) and Celebrate Recovery. Both of which are great resources. If you would like to try them, SA is available at www.sa.org and Celebrate Recovery at www.celebraterecovery.com. Look up local groups in your area.
Neither group has helped me very much. I know of other men who were delivered from, and are still free of sexual addiction.

There are several books available too. Once called Every Man's Battle (ISBN 9781578563685).

Just remember that sexual addiction IS NOT the issue, it is the SYMPTOM. There is an underlying issue (a root) and sexual addiction is the drug, or the "fix" you need to mask the root issue. I highly suggest the above groups to anyone who is suffering from, or thinks they may be sexually addicted.


American Heritage Stedman's Medical Dictionary defines addiction as,
"Habitual psychological and physiological dependence on a substance or practice beyond one's voluntary control."

Although it doesn't touch on sexual addiction, Merriam-Webster's Medical Dictionary defines addiction as,
"compulsive physiological need for and use of a habit-forming substance (as heroin, nicotine, or alcohol) characterized by tolerance and by well-defined physiological symptoms upon withdrawal; broadly : persistent compulsive use of a substance known by the user to be physically, psychologically, or socially harmful"

So, sum up both definitions and you get that an addiction is something that you do continually (or compulsively) that can be (IS) harmful, against your own will (personal will and moral will "tolerance").

Ephesians 5:3 (NIV) states, "But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God's holy people."
And that includes perhaps removing your internet connection, and refusing to watch movies or TV, going to the beach, talking with those "attractive" co workers, reading magazines, or even looking at a girl walking while you're driving -- not even a glance. Notice in the scripture the words, "there must not be even a hint". Get the hint?


There are some resources for those who they help. As for me, I am still looking for my deliverance.

The funny thing is, God has delivered me from this addiction many times, and I end up messing it up. I, for some reason, bring it back into my life.

Anyway, until next time.



ChoirDJ -> RE: When are we going to come out of hiding??? (7/7/2008 12:18:04 AM)

quote:

Just remember that sexual addiction IS NOT the issue, it is the SYMPTOM. There is an underlying issue (a root) and sexual addiction is the drug, or the "fix" you need to mask the root issue. I highly suggest the above groups to anyone who is suffering from, or thinks they may be sexually addicted.


I think you believe this intellectually but you don't believe it in your heart.


quote:

There are some resources for those who they help... As for me, I am still looking for my deliverance.


You have already been delievered if you are in Christ and you seem to have experienced this as you state below. You just haven't been acting like it. Right now you are still sitting in a jail cell when the door has been opened and the warden has long since given you permission to leave.

quote:

The funny thing is, God has delivered me from this addiction many times, and I end up messing it up. I, for some reason, bring it back into my life.


Not sure how to respond to this. You seem to have all the answers but you keep choosing to go back to the sin, which means you still have not dealt with the core issue in your life. My concern for you my friend is that God will eventually give you over to that sin indefinitely if you keep hardening your heart and choosing to return to it. I'm sure you've read Romans 1 that deals with this issue. Eventually your heart will become hardened to the point that you wont be able to repent even if you wanted to.

quote:

Anyway, until next time.

You need to decide that there wont be a next time and it's just that simple.



TheRefinersFire -> RE: When are we going to come out of hiding??? (7/7/2008 10:23:59 PM)

ChoirDJ,

I am not sure how to respond to that.

quote:

quote:

Just remember that sexual addiction IS NOT the issue, it is the SYMPTOM. There is an underlying issue (a root) and sexual addiction is the drug, or the "fix" you need to mask the root issue. I highly suggest the above groups to anyone who is suffering from, or thinks they may be sexually addicted.


I think you believe this intellectually but you don't believe it in your heart.

Why would I give advice I don't actually believe in? I mean, heart felt believe?

quote:

quote:

There are some resources for those who they help... As for me, I am still looking for my deliverance.


You have already been delievered if you are in Christ and you seem to have experienced this as you state below. You just haven't been acting like it. Right now you are still sitting in a jail cell when the door has been opened and the warden has long since given you permission to leave.

I take it you don't know about addictions. I do. Read the definitions of addictions in my post. Addictions are something you do that you cannot stop. I am an alcoholic too. I don't drink any more, but I have a difficult time passing by liqour stores without stopping (I'm in Ontario, we have liqour stores as alcoholic beverages are not allowed to be sold in regular stores). Sometimes I get drug cravings too, though it has been over ten years since I have done drugs. Addictions don't go away. You just learn how to deal with them. Habits go away, or are replaced with another (for better or worse). There's a big difference between addictions and habits, though they may seem alike. Their symptoms may be the same, but there are some sure-fire tests to determine whether you're addicted to something, or whether it is a habit. I know why I am sexually addicted. I know what the root issue is. I just haven't dealt fully with it yet. God knows that I will not deal with the root issue unless I see something resulting from it (take a sexual addiction, for example). And, no, I don't believe that God instantly delivers everybody from all their issues. God has taken care of my alcohol addiction. My sexual addiction, however, is more powerful. God is more powerful than the addiction, but He wants some compliance and is willing to wait as I struggle through it. Sure, He will not wait forever, but perhaps this is the end of it. Ever think of that?

quote:

quote:

The funny thing is, God has delivered me from this addiction many times, and I end up messing it up. I, for some reason, bring it back into my life.


Not sure how to respond to this. You seem to have all the answers but you keep choosing to go back to the sin, which means you still have not dealt with the core issue in your life. My concern for you my friend is that God will eventually give you over to that sin indefinitely if you keep hardening your heart and choosing to return to it. I'm sure you've read Romans 1 that deals with this issue. Eventually your heart will become hardened to the point that you wont be able to repent even if you wanted to.

Read Romans 7:14-25 NKJV. Here, let me post it for you.
14. We know that the law is spiritual; but I am unspiritual, sold as a slave to sin.
15. I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do.
16. And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good.
17. As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me.
18. I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out.
19. For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do--this I keep on doing.
20. Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.
21. So I find this law at work: When I want to do good, evil is right there with me.
22. For in my inner being I delight in God's law;
23. but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members.
24. What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death?
25. Thanks be to God--through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, I myself in my mind am a slave to God's law, but in the sinful nature a slave to the law of sin.

Paul is saying that he cannot stop sinning even though he wants to. It wasn't until later on in his life did he find deliverance from whatever sin(s) he was talking about in the above verse. I have only been a Christian for four years, I still have a way to go.


Don't tell me you have stopped sinning.

OH, and... The following was the most offensive to me.

quote:

quote:

Anyway, until next time.


You need to decide that there wont be a next time and it's just that simple.

Either you mean that I should decide that I will not sin next time, or that I shouldn't post here a next time. I meant, "Until I post the next time." It was a sign off. Not that I will sin the next time.

You need to choose your words more carefully. I am not sure what upset you about my post, but ignore the post. You have no right in condemning me.

I am only going to ask one thing from you. The next time you want to give me advice (if that's what you call it) back it up with some scripture AND medical or research evidence. I have already proven myself knowledgeable of addictions in my original post. From what I saw of your reply, it is all criticism.

Anyway, until the next time I post.

Oh, let me post something else. Here is why we post issues like I did. James 5:16 NIV, "Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective."



ChoirDJ -> RE: When are we going to come out of hiding??? (7/8/2008 1:35:35 AM)

Hello TheRefinersFire,

Let's tone things down a bit and let cooler heads prevail for a moment since we are brothers and we are on the same team. Firstly, I apologize for coming across abrupt and condemning as this was not my intention. Obviously, my post caused you to feel that way so I apologize. My indignation is toward Satan and how he has used this sin to literally destroy men and their families. As men, we tend to intellectualize things but that doesn't change us. We change when God's word reaches and takes root in our hearts.

When I read your post, I saw a lot of myself in how Satan gets us to believe things that aren't true. May I just point on some things based on what the scriptures teach since that's what you asked for? There just some of the principles to give us a perspective.

Jn. 8:31-34 In reference to sin, whomever Jesus has set free is indeed free.

Gal. 5:13 We are not to use our freedom as a license to indulge in sin.

1Jn. 3:6 No one who lives in him keeps on sinning. If we do then it's a sin we don't have a true relationship with him.

1Cor. 10:13 God will not allow us to be tempted beyond what we can bear. We call God a liar if we say otherwise.

Heb. 10:26-27 If we deliberately keep on sinning no sacrifice for sins is left but only a fearful expectation of judgement and of raging fire that will consume the enemies of God.

Yes, we are saved by grace and God forgives us when we sin. Some (not saying you necessarily) focus solely on the grace part without "considering the sternness of God" in keeping with Rom. 11:22.

The "next time" comment was meant to be an encouragement to you about your ability to make a decision today by faith that you are done with this sin because God has given you the power to be done with it. I hope there wont be a next time for you in that sense but post back by all means if you fall again. Hopefully it wont take you as long as it has taken many of us to learn. Everyday, I see a new thread in the marrieds section about how porn and sexual sins are destroying families and it's time we stand up and stop letting Satan beat us down with this sin. Regardles of what you believe and feel right now, all things are possible with God TheRefinersFire.

Remember 1Jn. 4:4 "Greater is he that is in you than he that is in this world."

Please read the scriptures above and pray that God will give you the faith to believe them. May God bless.



ex-officio -> RE: When are we going to come out of hiding??? (7/8/2008 7:34:15 AM)

Hi all.

Thanks for this. I've been struggling for around 8 years with all this. I'm an ex-minister, and even struggled while studying and training. I've hated living the life of a hypocrite, and all the while carrying all the shame and guilt despite trying to keep strong and keep in check.

I know that my own sinfulness has damaged my family, my relationship with my wife, and weakened me greatly. Once I thought I was walking well with God, that things were great. Now I stand and cannot bear to look back because of the things I've done, even recently, even after repenting again and again. I hate the fact that I've let God down... no, that's too polite... I hate that I've turned from walking with Him to wasting away in stupidity.

Sin has a way of dragging you down to the worst level it can, confusing the mind to say "that's it, there's no way for me now, not with what YOU'VE done". Being my own worst critic doesn't help, either.

I know there is always hope, so long as our heart can hear the call to repentance. God never gives up - it's us that do that, and therein is our downfall. We are always powerless to resist sin, otherwise there is no need for a Saviour. But by grace he washes us again and again, disciplining, rebuking, gently provoking, urging and calling us to fix ourselves on Him, trust Him alone for what we seek so desperately. While we were dead in our sins, Christ died for us. Likewise if ever we stray, the Spirit speaks, showing us what we've done and pointing the way back to Jesus. Talk about amazing grace!

I'm tired of struggling, of failing. God deserves better.

As Hebrews 12 says, sin can so easily entangle. But thank God that he's given us brains of a limited capacity, so we can focus on Him and in doing so lose focus on those things that would hold us back and keep us bound.

The Church is a wounded body in need of healing, just as the rest of the world. Thank God he is faithful, always.



ChoirDJ -> RE: When are we going to come out of hiding??? (7/8/2008 10:05:49 AM)

Hello Ex-officio and welcome. I'd like to respond to your post but unfortunately I'm running a little behind schedule. I'll will try to reply some time tonight.



ChoirDJ -> RE: When are we going to come out of hiding??? (7/11/2008 12:30:51 PM)

P.S... to the brother who sent me a PM about this issue, I have been trying to respond to it but I keep getting a runtime error. I will send it through as soon as I can. If you could update your profile with a private e-mail address, I'll send it to you there.



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