Paying for "tickets" to ministry leader events? (Full Version)

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3cappuccinosmom -> Paying for "tickets" to ministry leader events? (6/29/2008 4:22:16 PM)

I have just recently heard two example of this, and thought it was a little odd.

1. There was a "crowning of the bishops" (ordination?) being advertised on gospel radio in our town, yk, "come and celebrate the installation of Bishop So-and-so from such-and-such Church". But it was a ticketed event, and I have never, ever heard of an ordination being done like that. [&:] There was either a meal or refreshments afterwards, but the ticket prices were way beyond what would be required to cover a person's meal. [&:]

2. A church is throwing a birthday bash for the pastor's wife at a fancy hotel, with a fancy dinner. A sweet thing to do for her, but again, it's "ticketed" and if you want the privelage of celebrating her birthday with her, you have to pay $40 (and they discounted it because the original price was unmanageble for some people).

Does this strike anyone else as strange? Maybe I'm just out of the loop? [&:]



rcjames -> RE: Paying for "tickets" to ministry leader events? (6/29/2008 5:00:14 PM)

Fundraisers come in all forms and some of them do seem strange.


Thanks
RC



LaurainAL -> RE: Paying for "tickets" to ministry leader events? (6/29/2008 5:27:09 PM)

Sounds strange indeed. I think if the church is going to hold a fundraiser, they should call it a fundraiser.



zoebob -> RE: Paying for "tickets" to ministry leader events? (6/29/2008 5:27:57 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaurainAL

Sounds strange indeed. I think if the church is going to hold a fundraiser, they should call it a fundraiser.

Agreed



iluvatar -> RE: Paying for "tickets" to ministry leader events? (6/29/2008 8:34:22 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: 3cappuccinosmom

2. A church is throwing a birthday bash for the pastor's wife at a fancy hotel, with a fancy dinner. A sweet thing to do for her, but again, it's "ticketed" and if you want the privelage of celebrating her birthday with her, you have to pay $40 (and they discounted it because the original price was unmanageble for some people).

Does this strike anyone else as strange? Maybe I'm just out of the loop? [&:]


Eh.. Somebody has to pay for the the dinner and a fancy dinner could easily cost $40/head.

-Dan.



PrincessDonna -> RE: Paying for "tickets" to ministry leader events? (6/29/2008 8:39:03 PM)

Are you in an area where this is the norm? Maybe you could gently let the leadership know that you would LOVE to go to things like this (if it's true[;)]), but finances are an issue and you're sure they are for others also.

Our church rarely does things that cost much, unless they are advertised as a fundraiser for the Christian school. The one event that comes to mind was a nice buffet style dinner at a restaurant. It was for our senior pastor's retirement (well...kinda...he went from senior pastor to men's ministry...he was 70 at the time). Even that, I think was $30 for Brian and I together. And since he is important to us and it wasn't a common occurrence for our church to have things that cost that much, we found the money.



zoebob -> RE: Paying for "tickets" to ministry leader events? (6/29/2008 9:29:37 PM)

Yes, someone has to pay for it but it's generally considered tacky to expect people to pay admission to a birthday party. If you want to throw someone a party you pay the price for it and plan a party you can afford.



BenQuebec -> RE: Paying for "tickets" to ministry leader events? (6/29/2008 9:54:54 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: zoebob
Yes, someone has to pay for it but it's generally considered tacky to expect people to pay admission to a birthday party. If you want to throw someone a party you pay the price for it and plan a party you can afford.

I generally agree. However, there are other sub-cultural angles that we may not be aware of. Perhaps the family throwing the b-day party is from a class or cultural group which sees that as normal.

In Québec, it's considered quite common to pay to attend a wedding reception, for example. The invitations and RSVP's usually say what price needs to be paid along with the RSVP. We did that for our wedding, and nobody complained. As I said, it's normal and acceptable up here.

I understand that there are other cultural groups that wouldn't see that as normal or acceptable, but I believe that recogizing one's part in a multi-cultural society is accepting that what is socially acceptable will vary, even within the same church or other organization.

That being said, I have been invited to ticketed events which I've chosen not to attend. I've chosen in such cases to give them a card or a gift before or after the event, stating that I regret not being able to go, but that I'm thinking of them anyway. :-)

[Edited for grammar]



countrypreacherman -> RE: Paying for "tickets" to ministry leader events? (6/29/2008 10:00:26 PM)

Seems rather tacky to me. But then again I've been in churches that have done this type of thing in order to ensure that only "certain" people could afford to attend. Go figure!



redeemedsaint -> RE: Paying for "tickets" to ministry leader events? (6/30/2008 10:47:08 AM)

Why not have a potluck after church, that way it doesn't really cost anything and everyone could go.



hjemerson -> RE: Paying for "tickets" to ministry leader events? (6/30/2008 2:12:52 PM)

As BenQ stated it is a culture thing one place does thing drifferent for other ,If you really want to go and you are going as a rep of the church the church should paid for it , but again if not, you just plan and find money to go or not. as many year ago you had wedding recpetion cake.punch. now the noral in many place is a sit down meal! so things change as time do. It is reall depends on the area and what is the norm! I Christian praise music but we can not paid for the ticket so we listen to the raido! If the church goes and each paid we stay home but if we are asked to be superviser over the youth the church paids.



bzirk -> RE: Paying for "tickets" to ministry leader events? (6/30/2008 2:13:32 PM)

The ordination is out of line, and I agree with Zoebob's take on the birthday party.

BTW, I'm not too keen on a lot of things that "Christians" charge money for. Like paying big bucks to hear a preacher. If the preacher wants to ask for an offering up front to pay for a facility and the speakers expenses and some monies for the speaker himself, then so be it. But what I cannot abide is the exorbitant money that these people charge, and especially can't stand all the slick consumer junk that goes with so many speakers or "Christian" events (books, mugs, t-shirts). blech.



Consecrated2God -> RE: Paying for "tickets" to ministry leader events? (6/30/2008 4:21:06 PM)

In the Assemblies of God, at least in our district, the ordination ceremony takes places at the District Council, and it does cost to attend. I'm not sure how much exactly--there are different rates for ministers, voting delegates, and visiors. We also paid to go to a Missions banquet and that was $8 each, and my husband went as a minister and I went as a delegate. It was around $65 for both of us, and our church paid our expenses. I think the visitors prices were the cheapest.

I guess if it pays the expenses of the event it makes sense, but I like to know what the proceeds are going towards personally. If it's a fundraiser, I'd like to know what the money is being raised for, if it's just to pay the expenses of the event I'd like to know that as well. Even freewill offerings bug me if I don't know why they are being taken up.



buckifn -> RE: Paying for "tickets" to ministry leader events? (6/30/2008 4:27:49 PM)

Charging for a birthday celebration sounds terribly tacky for me and something I would want no part of.

About the "love offering" thingie, I hate that too because it is often distorted and passed on to the congregation as a lie.

I know several groups who have told us they would come for "a love offering" but behind closed doors they made it clear they would not come unless we could guarantee them a specific figure upfront usually between $500-1.000 so why lie and pretend it is something it isn't?



Consecrated2God -> RE: Paying for "tickets" to ministry leader events? (6/30/2008 4:32:25 PM)

quote:

I know several groups who have told us they would come for "a love offering" but behind closed doors they made it clear they would not come unless we could guarantee them a specific figure upfront usually between $500-1.000 so why lie and pretend it is something it isn't?


Right--and when the love offering comes up short, the church has to pay the difference. We've had that happen to the tune of several thousand dollars.



Liveloved -> RE: Paying for "tickets" to ministry leader events? (6/30/2008 4:37:58 PM)

Perhaps it is because of our dishonesty (?) or stinginess or tendency to freeload off of others. Last night we went out to dinner with a group. There were eight of us. The server put all of the tickets on one. Our experience has been that what this means is that one or two end of paying more because others do not put in what they should. My husband and I have paid for others many times in situations such as this. Last night the total came up short again. I had mentioned when the bill came that often 'some' end up paying more than their share as a way of reminding others of their responsibility. I guess my 'reminder' did no good. However this time I did not put in the extra so the server is the one that lost out. And that does make me sad.

But perhaps this is what happens if you don't give an expected charge for events such as this and instead let others put in what they 'feel led to'. I don't know but it's just an idea I'm throwing out to consider.



small_creation -> RE: Paying for "tickets" to ministry leader events? (6/30/2008 5:34:44 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Liveloved

Perhaps it is because of our dishonesty (?) or stinginess or tendency to freeload off of others. Last night we went out to dinner with a group. There were eight of us. The server put all of the tickets on one. Our experience has been that what this means is that one or two end of paying more because others do not put in what they should. My husband and I have paid for others many times in situations such as this. Last night the total came up short again. I had mentioned when the bill came that often 'some' end up paying more than their share as a way of reminding others of their responsibility. I guess my 'reminder' did no good. However this time I did not put in the extra so the server is the one that lost out. And that does make me sad.

But perhaps this is what happens if you don't give an expected charge for events such as this and instead let others put in what they 'feel led to'. I don't know but it's just an idea I'm throwing out to consider.

This is, in part, the reason why many restaurants now tack on a "gratuity charge" on larger parties of over 6 or 8.

When hubby and I go out with a large group we usually request that our meal be on a separate ticket, as we too have learned that sharing a ticket can cause more thinking than what we allowed for that night :)

j



3cappuccinosmom -> RE: Paying for "tickets" to ministry leader events? (6/30/2008 6:24:23 PM)

quote:

Yes, someone has to pay for it but it's generally considered tacky to expect people to pay admission to a birthday party. If you want to throw someone a party you pay the price for it and plan a party you can afford.


That's what i was thinking. It seems tacky. I can understand some church events needing to have a sort of cover price. Our church had a financial course which included a dinner, and the cover fee didn't bother me at all. I even sort of understand a VBS asking for a cover fee (though I think if they have to, maybe they need to crank down the expenditure a little). But a birthday party and an ordination? [&:]



hjemerson -> RE: Paying for "tickets" to ministry leader events? (7/1/2008 2:21:42 PM)

Sad the Server got the bad deal and I also gives Christian a bad name in food work env, I have freinds that serve and many times ,they will try their best not to want to wait on Christian that one in to eat( Mostly on sunday) because of the bad tips, etc Some christain leave , the way thet talk about the thing going on at church. Most do not show Gods love in talke and action. If this Happen you have the righ to have the server redo the ticket and that should be done to fairness or all in the party.



phosadaud -> RE: Paying for "tickets" to ministry leader events? (7/1/2008 4:05:09 PM)

Our church charges for some things and not for others but the charge is always the lowest we can make it to help defray the costs. Some things we budget to lose money on and fund it others ways. I can't say I've heard of charging for a birthday party but I wouldn't automatically assume that was a tacky thing because I really don't know the details. Personally, I would find it more tacky to assume that someone else or some other organization should cover my costs to attend something I don't have to attend. Free is a blessing - not a requirement.

Yes, this means, there are many things that I can't attend. That's ok. That's not why I go to church. I'm there to give, not just get.



3cappuccinosmom -> RE: Paying for "tickets" to ministry leader events? (7/1/2008 6:05:28 PM)

quote:

Sad the Server got the bad deal and I also gives Christian a bad name in food work env, I have freinds that serve and many times ,they will try their best not to want to wait on Christian that one in to eat( Mostly on sunday) because of the bad tips, etc Some christain leave , the way thet talk about the thing going on at church. Most do not show Gods love in talke and action. If this Happen you have the righ to have the server redo the ticket and that should be done to fairness or all in the party.


Yeah, but I am not talking about eating at restaurants.

I am talking about church organized events, particularly "honoring" events, like ordinations and birthdays, that require church members to be able to pay in order to attend. [&:]



pbaribeault -> RE: Paying for "tickets" to ministry leader events? (7/1/2008 9:55:27 PM)

I think if people want to go to things that cost some money to put on, then they ought to be willing to chip in a fair amount. Some people being pleasantly unable to calculate a 'fair amount' has often taught people planning these sorts of things to set a price instead.

Nobody needs a lavish ordination event any more than they would need a lavish baptism or a lavish funeral. Some people like to celebrate more than others though, and/or involve their community in a community-building way. That's fair enough if the invitees are willing to pay a reasonable share each, or if the host is willing to pay in full. If the host doesn't want to pay (asks a ticket price for attendance) and the guests don't want to either (choose not to go) ... that sounds like the event gets canceled.

If people didn't want to pay to go, they wouldn't. If they don't mind, who are we to mind?

But I would be a no-go-er, particularly if it was a lavish banquet for nothing more than a birthday. That sounds pretty self-focused ... Unless someone else is throwing it as a surprise for her, and maybe the guests are chipping in as a form of a gift of honour for someone they love, willingly throwing it for her rather than being her guests, and sharing the cost fairly with the other co-throwers ... I might go if it was spun that way.



3cappuccinosmom -> RE: Paying for "tickets" to ministry leader events? (7/2/2008 6:26:17 AM)

Well, we are no-goers too--our church does a fair amount of paid events too, even VBS and the Church picnic. I'm not bitter or anything, since we're homebodies anyway. [8D] But I know the areas both the churches mentioned in my OP are "underprivelaged" and I really wonder about lavish events for leaders when members of the congregation are struggling, or inviting everybody to come and then putting a pricetag on it. [&:]



Consecrated2God -> RE: Paying for "tickets" to ministry leader events? (7/2/2008 8:10:06 AM)

I'd be a no-goer, too. We wouldn't be able to afford it, so we wouldn't be going. I've never heard of charging for VBS, either. I think I'd be sending my kids to one at another church if the church I was attending was charging.



3cappuccinosmom -> RE: Paying for "tickets" to ministry leader events? (7/2/2008 8:36:50 AM)

quote:

I've never heard of charging for VBS, either. I think I'd be sending my kids to one at another church if the church I was attending was charging.


Yeah, that one was a shocker. As was the church picnic (which is pay *and* bring potluck food).

We were going to skip VBS, and we already did one at another church. Fortunately a donation was made to VBS and they're only asking $1 now. I know were are not the only family in church who would have had difficulty paying $10 a kid. [&:]



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