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ORIGINAL: LivingParadox

Courting and dating are basically the same thing with one exception I can see...Courting is basically upfront with the intention of progressing to a more serious place in the relationship.

Dating is basically wanting to get to know you a couple of dates to see if you are worth "courting".

I've always thought "courting" was an old fashion word for "going steady" which in itself is a old fashion term...so what do they call it these days?

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Courting would be like wining and dining a person. To see if there is a connection. Like a man going after a woman that he is interested in or vice versa... Dating is when the two has decided to be exclusively for each other hopfully to lead into marriage.

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ORIGINAL: edlove50

One reason I prefer courting to dating is that courting will cull out many of the families that reject God's ways and may be self-destructing. It may also cull out families that live God's ways but aren't into the courting model, but I think the group that do court will have a higher percentage of godly families.
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Yes - I also thank God there are no arranged marriages anymore. I disagree that groups who do court have a higher percentage of godly families. Any family where the father and mother are totally submitted to God will be a godly family. Godly families start with the parents who lead by example. A praying mom and dad can move mountains. My wife and I have seen that in our own family. The key to a close and godly family is prayer first and then communication. Then trust that God will take care of and watch over your kids when they go out either with a group or on a date. This is been an extremely enlightening and uplifting thread. I have enjoyed reading all the posts but I still don't think courting is the way and I will never encourage it. For rebelman, I hope you and your prospective wife will go ahead and marry. Get marriage counseling first and pray a lot. If you two still believe it is God's will to marry, then do it. Include her parents, but if they start trouble then put your foot down. What matters is the both of you being happy and in God's will. I am sure her parents are christians, but they can't seem to let go of their daughter and are trying to maintain control over her life and yours. You two are simply too old for that. Remember, prayer is the key.

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ORIGINAL: AlwaysPray

Rebelman,
I'm new here (1st post), and I certainly am no expert, but when I read your posts saying that you felt you could be married to your gf without having to deal with her parents yourself, my first thought was: that might work until
1. the kids come along and they want/deserve a good relationship with Grandma/Grandpa (Can you speak well of them to the kids, and take them to spend time with them?) and
2. her parents grow old and need her assistance, whether financially or a place to live (ie with you). She is biblically expected to care for her parents in their need (whether old age or medical problem, as in accident, cancer, etc)
Just my 'mite'

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ORIGINAL: 3cappuccinosmom

Rebelman--the point about "marrying the family" is that if you marry this woman, you *will* be connected to her family, like it or not. If she loves them and wants connection with them, and you refuse to have anythign to do with them, you will hurt her. And when children come along, if you think her parents lunatics but she wants her children to have their grandparents in their lives, you two will come into conflict. If she is truly being manipulated or controlled, then she may be looking to you as a rescuer/replacement.
All high-mindedness and nobility aside these are realities of life and possibilities that you have to consider.

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ORIGINAL: 3cappuccinosmom

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Courting would be like wining and dining a person. To see if there is a connection. Like a man going after a woman that he is interested in or vice versa... Dating is when the two has decided to be exclusively for each other hopfully to lead into marriage.

Are you sure you have the terms by their correct definitions??

IME, it's exactly opposite of what's in the quote.


Rebelman--the point about "marrying the family" is that if you marry this woman, you *will* be connected to her family, like it or not. If she loves them and wants connection with them, and you refuse to have anythign to do with them, you will hurt her. And when children come along, if you think her parents lunatics but she wants her children to have their grandparents in their lives, you two will come into conflict. If she is truly being manipulated or controlled, then she may be looking to you as a rescuer/replacement.
All high-mindedness and nobility aside these are realities of life and possibilities that you have to consider.

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Rebelman--the point about "marrying the family" is that if you marry this woman, you *will* be connected to her family, like it or not.
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Rebelman, I don't really agree that you will be marrying her family. You and your bride will be leaving both sets of parents and starting a family of your own. The only connection you will have with her parents is through marriage and hers through blood. Your both in your early twenty's if I remember right so at your age you can make your own decisions. It seems they are against you two getting married. But if you both believe you both are for each other and that God wants you two together, then go for it. Rebelman, how do your parents feel about your fiancee? They can offer emotional support which is what you both really need now. Also, from friends and pastors at your church. I am really for you both getting married. You two seem to be sure of yourselves as far as marriage and the only stumbling block is her mom and dad. It's time to break loose and go with God.