Foster Parents

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funny_girl -> Foster Parents (7/14/2008 8:27:44 PM)
Are there any other foster parent's on this page? We've only had the baby 4 days. My husband and I will be celebrating 20 years of marriage this month and he was thinking we were going to be empty nesters soon. Our youngest will be 18 next June. Then he said he realized that many people are just starting families at our age. I'm not sure we should keep him, if it's too much of a psych for him. We thought we'd start early and have our lives to enjoy together, having raised our family and still be young to enjoy one another. Anyone else is in a similar situation? We're both 39.

Jenny-Fair -> RE: Foster Parents (7/14/2008 8:47:29 PM)
I am not a foster parent, although I would love to be in the future. But I wanted to tell you about a friend of mine. She raised her three kids, and when they were teens, decided to go into foster care. She ended up with four toddlers, fell in love, and adopted them all! I said, 'Didn't you realize when they were all 2 and 3 that one day they would all be 13 and 14 at the same time?!' LOL At this moment, they are all 14 and 15, I believe. Three girls and a boy. And you know what? She is doing it all over again! I haven't asked her age, but she must be in her 50s, I think. She's a real sweetie and God has given her an amazing heart for these kids. I want to be more like her.

NotDoneYet -> RE: Foster Parents (7/14/2008 10:47:43 PM)
We aren't foster parents, but we are custodial grandparents to 2 little girls, ages 3 and 5. I'm 44, my husband is 45. Our youngest child just turned 18 a few weeks ago. We were thinking we'd have the "empty nest" now...but to be honest, we wouldn't trade it for the world! We're more relaxed, having more fun and yes, financially it's easier than it was the first time through... Enjoy her! Love her! I can't tell you how much we've enjoyed watching these little ones (we've had them for 2 years now)...and our hearts would be broken and empty if we had to give them back (there's not a chance of that happening though). It's not easy, it's tiring, it's sort of disconcerting to go backwards, to diapers, car seats, "kid cuisine", sippy cups, tying shoes, etc. BUT...the smiles and laughs on the faces of our girls makes all the difference!

funny_girl -> RE: Foster Parents (7/14/2008 11:04:03 PM)
thank you not done, I think you do understand how we're feeling. My husband has been drooling over a 2 seater car and said he'd need a family car. I told him to get the 2 seater we can get a sitter. He said later this evening that when we're doing crusades that there may be 20 days in the year when it's totally inconvenient, but the rest of the year it'd be fine. [:)] I was glad to hear him say that. I assured him we could take him back if he didn't want him but I don't think he really wants to. Last night he was concerned about his 3 older siblings still at the children's home. He said in six months we may need to re evaluate what we're going to do. I'm wondering if he wants them too. The kids are 5, 3, 1 1/2(although we were told she's 2 1/2 but didn't look it) and the baby 3 months.

funny_girl -> RE: Foster Parents (7/16/2008 8:59:04 AM)
too sweet, my husband let me go to bed early and sleep all night while he put the baby to bed and got up with him in the morning. I slept 9 hours and didn't hear anything, although I got up once but the baby wasn't awake yet. He woke at 3 a.m and 7 a.m. and is already fast asleep. Today I'm going to track every feeding during the day to see how many bottles he uses. Is it normal that they wake at different times? I've always fed my babies when they're hungry and never had a schedule but being that we're older (39) and this is a foster baby, I'm more interested in how many diapers and formula I'm using. My husband figures in diapers and formula alone it's $50 a week. Here in Mexico, we pay for everything, there is no reimbursment for expenses, another reason why he was given to us as he was sick.

Jenny-Fair -> RE: Foster Parents (7/16/2008 11:38:38 AM)
I would be willing to bed cloth diapers would be far cheaper there than imported disposables. What kind of sick? And, yeah, it's probably too soon to be on a schedule, given that it's a new environment and he isn't feeling well, and he was underfed.

pbaribeault -> RE: Foster Parents (7/16/2008 12:06:57 PM)
Rather than a schedule, you might consider just tracking the baby's actions (hunger, sleep & poop) and seeing if there are any patterns you can anticipate from day to day. I find that this contributes to baby's security as well as to momma's sanity. You can also use this information to say things like, "It seems like he's eaten less than usual today, I wonder if he might like an extra feeding before bed." or "There's no point in putting him to bed before he has his poop."

Jenny-Fair -> RE: Foster Parents (7/16/2008 12:10:58 PM)
Oh, I didn't mean to put a baby on a schedule... I mean too early to see what his schedule was gonna be! LOL I just don't think he's settled yet.

funny_girl -> RE: Foster Parents (7/16/2008 4:34:47 PM)
Talk about settling lol. Last night, this mommy was almost a shadow of her former self.[:D] My husband said he'd take care of the baby, even bathe him! But, I have a routine that I like to have done before I go to bed, so I did my routine, including the babies bath. I went to bed at 10 p.m. and at 12:30 a.m. woke but the baby wasn't up yet so I went back to bed. I woke up at 7 a.m.! I jumped up and checked on my husband and the baby. After this mommy got 9 hours of sleep, I woke up! The baby didn't sleep much yesterday and went to bed at 10:30 p.m., woke up at 3 a.m.! and then again at 7 a.m.! My husband had it easy! Not only that, the baby was ready to go back to sleep at 7:30 a.m. He's been sleeping a lot today. Yesterday, I seemed like he ate all day. SO, that's why I'm noting when he's eating. I got a maid! She's a nice lady from our church and she's doing a really good job! What a big help! I have to be really careful with my back and can't keep up with my housework. She's able to come M/W/F and I can still keep doing my missionary work.

NotDoneYet -> RE: Foster Parents (7/16/2008 5:36:06 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: funny_girl thank you not done, I think you do understand how we're feeling. My husband has been drooling over a 2 seater car and said he'd need a family car. I told him to get the 2 seater we can get a sitter. He said later this evening that when we're doing crusades that there may be 20 days in the year when it's totally inconvenient, but the rest of the year it'd be fine. [:)] I was glad to hear him say that. I assured him we could take him back if he didn't want him but I don't think he really wants to. Last night he was concerned about his 3 older siblings still at the children's home. He said in six months we may need to re evaluate what we're going to do. I'm wondering if he wants them too. The kids are 5, 3, 1 1/2(although we were told she's 2 1/2 but didn't look it) and the baby 3 months. Oh my goodness!!! It's funny...but I think men get more attached than we think. My husband is TOTALLY devoted to our little ones...We've been talking about fostering too...his preference is for sibling groups. Right now, it's almost impossible, as we are also taking care of my elderly, disabled mom...but...he's said that when she passes... Oh...and the sports car thing...my "goal" was to buy myself a new Camaro this year...trade in my 7 passenger SUV for it...but...that's not gonna happen...LOL. It's ok...I don't mind. I'll be the "old lady" in the sports car in about 20 years! Enjoy! NDY

funny_girl -> RE: Foster Parents (7/17/2008 6:03:38 PM)
He's done better the past two nights! He went to bed at 9:30 p.m., woke at 2 a.m. and then at 7 a.m.!!!!! This is alright for this new foster mommy. AND I'm excited because he's bonded with me, recognizes my voice and how I handle him already! This afternoon his Nana, a lady in the church that's going to be one of his grandma's, came and babysat for 2 hours. When we came back from lunch, before we headed out for a bike ride, he was fussing. So, I showed her how to handle him and talk to him and he did great!!!! Thank you JESUS! One thing I didn't like today was when another couple from the church stopped by and the husband said that he thought it was noble of me for what I was doing but asked if I knew what was coming next? He said heart break when they take him away. UGH! How can people talk like that? Just let me enjoy the little guy while he's here.

garsyt -> RE: Foster Parents (7/17/2008 9:13:31 PM)
I'm not a foster parent BUT I am a foster sister. My parents from the time I was 6 or 7 through my early teen years fostered 5 or 6 different children of varying ages! We had teens, we had elementary kids, we had toddlers. We had girls and boys. I didn't fully appreciate what they were doing at the time, but now that I have children of my own and gotten much older, I get it now! I so appreciate what my parents did for those children, and what they taught me and my siblings about compassion and caring and sacrifice through it all. I still keep in contact with many of my foster sibs and my parents still get Christmas cards and Mother's and Father's day calls from several of them. God bless you through all of this! Blessings, Garsy

funny_girl -> RE: Foster Parents (7/23/2008 2:37:53 PM)
After I got run down and a little sick caring for my new little addition, I'm happy to report that even though he regressed to the 2 a.m., 5 a.m. and 7 or 8 a.m. feedings that last night we had a wonderful bonding time before bed and guess what??? He woke around 3 a.m. and then slept till 8 a.m.!!!! WOW! I'm so happy with him. Hope he keeps this up!

barbhuff -> RE: Foster Parents (7/24/2008 10:08:07 PM)
My husband and I are foster parents for a few years. We had twenty-five kids come through our lives, and we are blessed to call four of them ours forever. Seeing them go is something I can't explain. Sometimes it feels right and you're glad for the child to be back with family who loves them and can take care of them, and sometimes your heart is broken because you just know that its not going to be good but there's nothing that can be done to prove it until they return in worse shape than they left. Either way, there's still a weird emptiness and sadness at your own loss of the child. You get through it though because you know the next one that comes along is going to need you, too, for at least a little while. I wish you the best. Love him, love him, love him because that's what he needs the most at this age-- love and security. It's going to give him what he needs for the rest of his life regardless of where he is.

funny_girl -> RE: Foster Parents (7/25/2008 7:18:48 AM)
Thanks barb, We are definitely bonded. He's taken really well to my husband but he definitely prefers me and I'm planning on taking care of him as long as I can. I remember our 15 year old foster daughter leaving to go back with her parents. She later regretted it and wished she'd stayed with us. I cried like she had died. That was 13 years ago. 25 kids! That's remarkable. This wasn't planned but God has known all about it hasn't he.

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