RE: Interracial Relationships (Full Version)

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lexie -> RE: Interracial Relationships (7/17/2008 12:00:15 PM)

A few months after my parents married, they showed up at my father's parents place. They walked in to find my grandmothers pastor there, with a contract for my mother to sign saying she will attend the Dutch church and send her children to the Dutch church school.

She didn't sign.



Ninjaearth -> RE: Interracial Relationships (7/17/2008 1:40:43 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Pman.

How do you feel about interracial relationships...being honest (lol)...

Would you date someone outside your race?

Would you marry someone outside your race?

If not, why?

I absolutely advocate them and I am seek them. In fact, I'm in one now. lol

Yes and yes.

To answer briefly, I decided that this would be a preference that suits my personal interest in women. Furthermore, it's different and I find it very above the norm. Thirdly, I love white women and think I that I can relate more to many of them to those in my own African-American race. This is to go against them but rather it's more of this is what I want because it's so common to stay within one's race; I want to go beyond that and make a statement with my entire life that it's okay to be different. I was always like that when going through school, trying to be the different one. This is not to say that being in an interracial relationship gives me status, because it doesn't any more or less, but it does transcend the norms of the culture and lets those around me know that I"m doing things the same way. Black and white and can get along just fine and even more than that. In the end, though, for more it's more preference. That's really all I can say. I am for interracial relationship all the way and I even encourage others to go try them out as well, if you are comfortable. Regardless, interracial or not, the same basic rules for relationships apply, but as Christians, we need to continue to examine those rules and live by sola Scripture.



coinpurse -> RE: Interracial Relationships (7/17/2008 4:02:07 PM)

Im Ok with interracial marriage with anyone who understands that they will be the father of black children (regardless of what the kids look like or what the father looks kike)

and that the kids will have to speak my native language which is not english...

Preserved:) I think any group of people will have similar patterns in how they think if they always stick in their little circle/community (like a cult)...I dont think its entirely genetics...To each his own!



free-to-worship -> RE: Interracial Relationships (7/17/2008 4:58:30 PM)

I wouldn't have a problem with it, but we should all keep in mind that though we are all God's children, we do have cultural differences. Although, those cultural differences should not keep us a part, but should serve as broadening our understanding of one another.

God made us different, and everything He made was good. So I won't say I don't see color, because I do. I see beauty in each color, race, nationality, and culture that God has made.

I don't go in for the stereotypes, but there are some things that each culture does differently. Those things should be embraced, unless of course we know them to be sinful, and if those things exault themselves above the knowledge of God. Other than that, I say go for it.



preserved -> RE: Interracial Relationships (7/17/2008 7:27:06 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: manda59

quote:

ORIGINAL: preserved
Just a preference to stay within my race..[;)]




I'm just wondering here what the reaction would be if it was a white
person saying this. [8|]


Truth to be told...some white does prefer to date anyother race except the african american black...



manda59 -> RE: Interracial Relationships (7/17/2008 8:04:04 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: preserved
quote:

ORIGINAL: manda59
quote:

ORIGINAL: preserved
Just a preference to stay within my race..[;)]

I'm just wondering here what the reaction would be if it was a white
person saying this. [8|]

Truth to be told...some white does prefer to date anyother race except the african american black...




On what evidence are you basing that assertion?



ChoirDJ -> RE: Interracial Relationships (7/17/2008 8:52:37 PM)

quote:

Truth to be told...some white does prefer to date anyother race except the african american black...


And what's your point? Can the same thing not be said about Blacks? These are not the types of things that should be coming out of our mouths as christians.



landabee -> RE: Interracial Relationships (7/17/2008 9:15:29 PM)

I agree with ChoirDJ, it is more common for people of all colors to be drawn to those that look similar to themselves. No sin in that.

I've always said that preferences are different from biases.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with preferring to date within or outside of your appearance type and culture. (Understanding both adults are Christian)

Biases and prejudices are another story. However, one must not be quick to misjudge a preference for a prejudice. [:)]

Attraction is fickle, dontcha know? [;)][8D]



Roberta_ -> RE: Interracial Relationships (7/17/2008 9:20:21 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: landabee
Biases and prejudices are another story. However, one must not be quick to misjudge a preference for a prejudice. [:)]


Exactly! My estranged husband said that he'd never wanted to date or marry outside of his race. However, he was not a racist at all.



gaylel1 -> RE: Interracial Relationships (7/18/2008 12:11:42 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: ChoirDJ

quote:

Truth to be told...some white does prefer to date anyother race except the african american black...


And what's your point? Can the same thing not be said about Blacks? These are not the types of things that should be coming out of our mouths as christians.



Exactly.....

Color should not be an issue and I betcha no Christian, those who really follow Jesus Christ would have those kind of thoughts. But it is only on this forum that people who have a problem with it has a heart problem.

I'm not trying to be judgemental, but I pray for this person who have this indifference.



saraimay75 -> RE: Interracial Relationships (7/18/2008 12:43:59 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: DenimDiva

quote:

ORIGINAL: landabee
Biases and prejudices are another story. However, one must not be quick to misjudge a preference for a prejudice. [:)]


Exactly! My estranged husband said that he'd never wanted to date or marry outside of his race. However, he was not a racist at all.


I don't see it as racist.



manda59 -> RE: Interracial Relationships (7/18/2008 5:23:25 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: landabee
However, one must not be quick to misjudge a preference for a prejudice.


So long as it's not a prejudice in preference's clothing. [8|]



Child4Jesus -> RE: Interracial Relationships (7/18/2008 9:01:02 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: manda59

quote:

ORIGINAL: preserved
Just a preference to stay within my race..[;)]

I'm just wondering here what the reaction would be if it was a white person saying this. [8|]


That person would be labeled a racist right away. I mean didn't you know that only white people are racists?

Lets make it clear that I don't think that only white people are racists. Just stating that that is the line of thinking with some people.



Child4Jesus -> RE: Interracial Relationships (7/18/2008 9:03:15 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: ChoirDJ

quote:

I'm just wondering here what the reaction would be if it was a white person saying this.

Excellent point manda59...I had a white roommate that made a similar point back when we were in college. We we talking about the African American groups/clubs that had formed on campus, reverse discrimination and such. He asked what would be the likely response if the White students got together and decided to start their own club? At one point in my career when I was a social worker, I was solicited to join the NASW (National Association of Black Social Workers). To this day, I have never joined any such group because I am certain their would be an outcry among the Black community if someone decided to start a NACW.


I agree. I mean if there were whites only colleges, or whites only this or that there would be an uproar.



landabee -> RE: Interracial Relationships (7/18/2008 9:39:07 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Child4Jesus

quote:

ORIGINAL: manda59

quote:

ORIGINAL: preserved
Just a preference to stay within my race..[;)]

I'm just wondering here what the reaction would be if it was a white person saying this. [8|]


That person would be labeled a racist right away. I mean didn't you know that only white people are racists?

Lets make it clear that I don't think that only white people are racists. Just stating that that is the line of thinking with some people.


No one here has said that.

Remarks like that are rabbit trails that agitate and send people into fight mode.

[>:]

Would you or would you not date/marry outside your race. Period. That is the question.

Many here have said that they would. Few have said they prefer not to.

No one on this thread looks like a raving racist at this point. And to stir up strife that it is a SECRET UNDERSTANDING that only white people are racist is mean-spirited.

People of all races, cultures, backgrounds, political affiliation...etc. can be prejudiced. But that doesn't mean they all are.



landabee -> RE: Interracial Relationships (7/18/2008 9:40:16 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Child4Jesus

quote:

ORIGINAL: ChoirDJ

quote:

I'm just wondering here what the reaction would be if it was a white person saying this.

Excellent point manda59...I had a white roommate that made a similar point back when we were in college. We we talking about the African American groups/clubs that had formed on campus, reverse discrimination and such. He asked what would be the likely response if the White students got together and decided to start their own club? At one point in my career when I was a social worker, I was solicited to join the NASW (National Association of Black Social Workers). To this day, I have never joined any such group because I am certain their would be an outcry among the Black community if someone decided to start a NACW.


I agree. I mean if there were whites only colleges, or whites only this or that there would be an uproar.


Again: inflammatory and OFF TOPIC. Try the one stop, please.



landabee -> RE: Interracial Relationships (7/18/2008 9:45:59 AM)

quote:

Color should not be an issue and I betcha no Christian, those who really follow Jesus Christ would have those kind of thoughts. But it is only on this forum that people who have a problem with it has a heart problem.


Gayle, that is a serious indictment against some of your brothers and sisters in Christ.


quote:


I'm not trying to be judgemental, but I pray for this person who have this indifference.


Gayle, it is preference---not indifference, unless there is prejudice involved. How can you know what someone's heart is, unless you ask? We cannot assume anything.

Which is why the OP question is valid.



ta_mosquito -> RE: Interracial Relationships (7/18/2008 9:54:52 AM)

MODERATOR'S NOTE :: ATTENTION PLEASE

Landabee's last three posts are right on target. This thread is about whether you would date interracially or whether you'd support it. PERIOD.

Judgement calls on others' opinions, diversion into forms of racism, complaining about whites vs. blacks, etc. is ALL off topic and belongs in the one-stop racism thread. CLICK HERE to go to it.

If we can't keep this thread on topic, it will be closed and redirected to the one-stop.

Thank you!

Tricia
Forums Moderator

Please do not reply to this message within the forums or chat.

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beachcooky -> RE: Interracial Relationships (7/18/2008 5:49:44 PM)

My last boyfriend was black.
It was very hard to date, because my dad's side is VERY racist.
& I hate that. But anyways, I don't see anything wrong with it.
It's just skin, peoples. Skin color doesn't tell who a person is.
I think this is just a RIDICULOUS problem.



preserved -> RE: Interracial Relationships (7/18/2008 6:52:52 PM)

Thank you landabee...Very good and valid points...

The op posted a question would we date or marry outside of our race and if not why...that was the original question....

I was not aware that we were here judging people how they feel....this thread seems to have turned into an issue..



Knolt -> RE: Interracial Relationships (7/18/2008 7:05:28 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: landabee

quote:

ORIGINAL: Pman.

How do you feel about interracial relationships...being honest (lol)...


Define interracial please?????

Seriously, though: Dating some one or marrying someone whose skin and facial features and hair are different from yourself is fine.

quote:

Would you date someone outside your race?


Would you marry someone outside your race?


I've never dated outside of humans.

quote:


If not, why?


'cause that'd be a sin against God! [8D][;)][8D][:D]

can't say i'm into bestiality either. that would be pretty perverted. but i swear, some of us in the Body of Christ are indeed a "peculiar" people.



ChoirDJ -> RE: Interracial Relationships (7/18/2008 7:51:13 PM)

quote:

can't say i'm into bestiality either. that would be pretty perverted. but i swear, some of us in the Body of Christ are indeed a "peculiar" people.


I'm sorry but this post is just flat out weird.



MENU4EVR -> RE: Interracial Relationships (7/18/2008 8:14:24 PM)

I dont have anything against race. I have dated women from other races but I think it can make a difference if the person wants it to. Also i feel more of a connection since we have the same cultural background. I think every situation is different though. Its hard to generalize. God made us all different and some prefer it some dont. It doesnt say in the bible that we should not date different cultures. I think with our ancestors also there is not really anyone that is one race or etihnticity. You watch the spanish channel and there are women that maybe us as americans would consider black or white but they are cuban or columbian. There are even some asian people that grew up in mexico. If you ever watch the spanish channel the main guy Don whatever is actually from germany. Does that make him mexican or german?



delete123 -> RE: Interracial Relationships (7/18/2008 10:39:12 PM)

I don't have a problem with interracial relationships, but sometimes it hinders the children.
I am Hispanic and American. When my mother divorced my dad, his "white" family divorced us as well.

Now that I am an adult I really never thought about it until recently. Why you ask, I am engage to be married and his family was all fine and dandy about it, because I have an irish name, but once they learned that I am also hispanic, every thing changed.

So when they learned about the wedding date, it is now, Are you sure you want to do this?!

Yeah great, you know the nice white german family, dont want to taint that now do we?!

Over the last few years I realized that I have a real problem socially, I am not white, not black, and not hispanic.
My father's family disowned us with the divorce, my mother's family doesn't acknowledge us, so I don't fit in.

It doesn't matter about culture, I am not accepted by any of em.
But people forget in a life emergency situation, that we all bleed the same, Red.

I am certainly glad that, that is what God sees in me is my heart and not my color.

CRH



Kyrillos -> RE: Interracial Relationships (7/18/2008 11:11:18 PM)

Wow. I can relate to that to some degree, CRH. My grandmother on my father's side comes from Mexico so I grew up with the language and the culture thanks in part to her. My father doesn't speak the language because his mother married an Irish guy who could never get ahold of the language, so I guess she did want to raise her kids to speak a different language that not everyone in the house would understand.

Since I'm so white and have an Irish last name, I get strange looks from everyone: Hispanics call me "pocho", say I sound like an Argentine (that was a favorite of a Mexican ex-girlfriend of mine...grumble grumble), while white people...ooo, don't get me started. Just like hispanics will sometimes say racist things when they don't think I understand them (or when they know I do...my grandma sometimes says racist things about how "black people don't how to take care of their elders like latinos do"...so ridiculous and wrong!), I know a looooot of backpedaling white people..."Oh, I didn't mean YOU, y'know...just...other Mexicans are ruining everything, blahblahblah". Yeah. Right. [:@]

That's why I said in my other post in this thread that anyone I would date, regardless of their race, would have to at least try to understand where I'm coming from, culturally/linguistically. How can you love someone if you don't learn to love their culture? I wouldn't want to be with someone who only loves my "white" side, because to me that's denying part of who I am, denying how I grew up and how I look at the world. Not to mention, y'know...racism is nothing I want in my relationships. I'm really sorry you have to deal with such things. You are right, though: God sees us as we ARE, not how we may appear to others with their prejudices and suspicions. Amen to that!



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