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drmomjoyce -> Praying for a spouse (8/4/2008 9:23:46 PM)

I went to a really lovely wedding on Friday where the couple were so suited for each other, the bridal party was so special to them. everything was sincere about them, they did nothing for show = the whole day was about 2 people being joined to gether and enjoying the day with a mindset on marriage as opposed to just the wedding.

At the end of the night, the bride with tears in her eyes said that her new husband was an answer to prayer. Kind of put me to shame as I havent really prayed for a hubby - i think i have instead given up.

Not sure if anyone wants to answer or put their input here - but do you still pray for a spouse or as you get older do you just think its passed you by???

Thanks for putting your thoughts down
Joyce



LabGuy -> RE: Praying for a spouse (8/4/2008 9:33:00 PM)

I'm 38 and I pray that God would bless me with a wife. I'll be honest, I'm acutely lonely (and having a particularly hard time with it at the moment). It is difficult to sustain any hope, and right now it feels like it'll take a miracle for it to happen. Thankfully that's the business God is in, but so far he keeps saying no.

[&o]

-Robb



9drtr -> RE: Praying for a spouse (8/4/2008 9:45:39 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LabGuy

I'm 38 and I pray that God would bless me with a wife. I'll be honest, I'm acutely lonely (and having a particularly hard time with it at the moment). It is difficult to sustain any hope, and right now it feels like it'll take a miracle for it to happen. Thankfully that's the business God is in, but so far he keeps saying no.

[&o]

-Robb


Not for the first time, Robb has stated my position as well as his own. The only differences are that I'm 44, and I'm not having too hard a time of it this week.



John_O -> RE: Praying for a spouse (8/5/2008 12:27:46 AM)

I pray without ceasing for my future wife. God likes persistence!



mutinywxgirl -> RE: Praying for a spouse (8/5/2008 6:56:27 AM)

I'm guilty of NOT praying for a spouse. I say that I would like to be married *someday* but I have not specifically prayed about that person.

A relationship would be wonderful right now, however, it would also be a hindrance and burden as I deal with the family - thinking I was taking time away from one for the other. I fully believe that once the family is gone and I'm truly alone, then God will bring me a relationship - and *maybe* I'll get married.

Sunday I had a conversation with someone who said he wants to see me "happy" and "enjoying" life and "going out", etc. He wants to be this person, but that'll never happen (for a variety of reasons). He can't fathom that I am not in *need* of a relationship, etc. He cannot fathom that I am happy. He cannot fathom that marriage is NOT something high on my priority list.

Right now I can't pray for something I'm not sure I want.



Grace-N-Mercy -> RE: Praying for a spouse (8/5/2008 7:10:28 AM)

quote:

I'm guilty of NOT praying for a spouse. I say that I would like to be married *someday* but I have not specifically prayed about that person.


Guilty as well. God says he'll give us the desires of our heart, and I have made my desires known. He wants to bless us... but sometimes I wonder if I get in my own way sometimes. [&:]

Maybe we should all begin to pray more specifically for a spouse.



mutinywxgirl -> RE: Praying for a spouse (8/5/2008 7:16:42 AM)

quote:

Maybe we should all begin to pray more specifically for a spouse.


I really can't do that - because I'm not sure it's really what I want - at least not right now. [:)]



ShallbeRebuilt -> RE: Praying for a spouse (8/5/2008 7:50:45 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: drmomjoyce

Not sure if anyone wants to answer or put their input here - but do you still pray for a spouse or as you get older do you just think its passed you by???

Thanks for putting your thoughts down
Joyce


Yes, I do still pray. Of course, I haven't been alone all my life, either--my ddh and I were married for 18 years and 18 days. I am in a similar situation as Robb and 9dtr, though...I ache daily, and it never gets better. Therefore, I pray daily![;)] Not only for God to give me a spouse, but I pray for him and the things he might be facing right now. For periods of several months I have even fasted one day a week. That's when it's really bad, and I feel like I'm drowning without a companion.

In fact, I started a thread on praying scripture for yourself and your future spouse (hmmm...need to add some more scriptures to it, too) here awhile back.

Lisa, the moment it quits hurting is the moment I'll quit praying about it, so I know where you are coming from. I've tried to stop praying for it, since God seems to have no plans to relieve the suffering--I've tried to just accept it. But a starving man doesn't quit praying for food until he's dead and no longer needs it...same here. The same as you can't ask for something you aren't sure you want, I can't stop asking for something I want so desperately that it's the under current of my daily life.

Disclaimer...this does NOT mean I go around moping and whining. God has given me direction and purpose and plenty of happiness and provision in spite of this longing. If He never gives me another spouse, I'll still have a full, fruitful life.

But yeah. I pray.

besiderself



Tinkerbell_ -> RE: Praying for a spouse (8/5/2008 8:20:10 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Cute-N-Sassy

quote:

I'm guilty of NOT praying for a spouse. I say that I would like to be married *someday* but I have not specifically prayed about that person.


Guilty as well. God says he'll give us the desires of our heart, and I have made my desires known. He wants to bless us... but sometimes I wonder if I get in my own way sometimes. [&:]

Maybe we should all begin to pray more specifically for a spouse.

But are they the desires of our own heart or are the desires that God would have us to seek?

This is something I have really struggled with but I have come to my own conclusion that when my desires are to seek His, then he will give me the desires of my heart.

For a long time I felt like He was telling me something but I ignored it because I didn't think it was possible. When I finally submitted to Him and said, "Okay God...if this is what you truly wish for me to have then I would depend on you to provide it." and He hasn't provided it yet...but He has provided me with the desire to seek it.

Does that make any sense at all?

More on topic, I do pray that if it His desire for me to remarry that He will provide a way. I also pray for whomever the lucky gentlemen is and even keep a journal to show him when we're married how much I prayed for him.



gaylel1 -> RE: Praying for a spouse (8/5/2008 9:30:12 AM)

I'm not guilty about not praying for a spouse because I know that God in his timing will provide me with one when I least expected. I know he does grant desires, but it is in his timing, not ours and not because we are ever so desparate because he knows what we need, but sometimes it intails wating and not be so anxious about it.



Grace-N-Mercy -> RE: Praying for a spouse (8/5/2008 9:57:56 AM)

quote:

But are they the desires of our own heart or are the desires that God would have us to seek?

I believe the desires for a spouse... for love, companionship, friendship... these are all given to us by God. If we seek a spouse for selfish purposes and will likely ignore God once our handsome prince comes along, He's not likely to fulfill that wish. But if we desire to be married so that our lives can be more full, so that we can more effectively minister to others, then He wants that for us.



broyce1981 -> RE: Praying for a spouse (8/5/2008 10:18:32 AM)

Yes, I've spent time before praying about and for my spouse.

And I have to say when I first saw this thread I thought it said "paying for a spouse" and I got scared.



DOVEFAN -> RE: Praying for a spouse (8/5/2008 10:33:30 AM)

I pray daily that God will send me a husband in his timing. I am only 19, but I still pray about it.
I pray that I never get to "looking so hard for someone" that I miss something else God might have for me....... I have been there before, and it can only lead to a broken heart....so, my "saying" now is - "A Woman's heart should be so lost in God, that a Man needs to seek Him in order to find Her" And I am trying to live by that. I believe that when the more I continue to grow in the Lord, and draw closer to him - thats when He will send who I need-

Delight thyself also in the Lord; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart. Psalm 37:4 (kjv) He knows my hearts desire... To have a husband, a family.... So, I'm daily striving to "delight myself in the Lord"



Bridgitt -> RE: Praying for a spouse (8/5/2008 2:14:55 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: besiderself


... Therefore, I pray daily![;)] Not only for God to give me a spouse, but I pray for him and the things he might be facing right now.


That's exactly what I'm doing! [sm=thumbsup.gif]



DreadPirateRandy -> RE: Praying for a spouse (8/5/2008 6:42:52 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: drmomjoyce

Not sure if anyone wants to answer or put their input here - but do you still pray for a spouse or as you get older do you just think its passed you by???


I no longer pray to receive my future spouse because I have already received her. It was by both prayer and faith that I received her, too.

I prayed for two years to be blessed with my future wife. For the first year or so, I didn't have a lot of faith in what I prayed for, because every moment I had to meet someone seemingly slipped from my hands. It appeared hopeless.

Then about a year ago, I met someone. I began having feelings for this individual and again, I prayed about it. Asking God to remove any feelings if this was going to be nothing more than infatuation, however, He did quite the opposite. After getting to know each other for about three months or so, I again prayed the same thing I did before. This time, I received personal assurance that she was indeed the one.

Prayer is the most powerful tool anyone could have. I recommend to anyone looking for a spouse to pray relentlessly. It DOES work. But without faith and trust, it won't.



okrox -> RE: Praying for a spouse (8/5/2008 7:44:28 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LabGuy

I'm 38 and I pray that God would bless me with a wife. I'll be honest, I'm acutely lonely (and having a particularly hard time with it at the moment). It is difficult to sustain any hope, and right now it feels like it'll take a miracle for it to happen. Thankfully that's the business God is in, but so far he keeps saying no.

[&o]

-Robb


Robb, I am always so impressed with your honesty and openness about this. I can't help but think God will honor it. And, oh yeah...God is definitely in the miracle business, and this marriage business IS very VERY important to God. It's not too silly or earthly for Him to bother with. He DOES care about your spouse. So you praying about her, too has to be in line with His will, doesn't it?

quote:

ORIGINAL: John_O

I pray without ceasing for my future wife. God likes persistence!


YES! YES! YES!, John!

Why do we even pray for anything, anyway? God knows what we want and need, right? Why bother?

Because when He does bless us with answer, we can remember all the ceaseless, heartfelt, longing prayers that we took to Him, and remember to give credit where it's due. If we didn't pray for things, we'd get into the habit of thinking all our blessings were just Karma, or deserved rewards for our own efforts, or sheer dumb luck. Praying is to remind US how badly WE want an answer.

quote:

ORIGINAL: mutinywxgirl


Right now I can't pray for something I'm not sure I want.


Another awesomely honest answer, Lisa. Brilliant. Another thing about prayer, is that it helps us define "What do I really, really want?" That's important, too.


quote:

ORIGINAL: ShallbeRebuilt

...I ache daily, and it never gets better. Therefore, I pray daily![;)] Not only for God to give me a spouse, but I pray for him and the things he might be facing right now.
___________________

Lisa, the moment it quits hurting is the moment I'll quit praying about it, so I know where you are coming from. I've tried to stop praying for it, since God seems to have no plans to relieve the suffering--I've tried to just accept it. But a starving man doesn't quit praying for food until he's dead and no longer needs it...same here. The same as you can't ask for something you aren't sure you want, I can't stop asking for something I want so desperately that it's the under current of my daily life.
_________
But yeah. I pray.

besiderself


Oh, my heart does so go out to you! And I am also so proud of you for being honest. Doesn't God want us to pour out the longings of our hearts to Him? I know He hears you, and I know He will bless you.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Cute-N-Sassy

quote:

But are they the desires of our own heart or are the desires that God would have us to seek?

I believe the desires for a spouse... for love, companionship, friendship... these are all given to us by God. If we seek a spouse for selfish purposes and will likely ignore God once our handsome prince comes along, He's not likely to fulfill that wish. But if we desire to be married so that our lives can be more full, so that we can more effectively minister to others, then He wants that for us.


MORE YES! YES! YES!


quote:

ORIGINAL: DreadPirateRandy

Prayer is the most powerful tool anyone could have. I recommend to anyone looking for a spouse to pray relentlessly. It DOES work. But without faith and trust, it won't.


Beautiful.

So do I pray for my spouse? Yes. Why? Because God is in the miracle business, and it is all in His hands and in His time, but God never interferes in our lives. He asks us to work alongside Him. When He parted the Red Sea, He didn't need Moses to raise his arms, but Moses needed to show God and himself and the other Hebrews the strength of his own faith. When He healed the lame, He first asked, "Do you want to be well?" because the lame man needed to own and recognize his own desires.

And so it always is. God will do miracles. But we have to pony up and do our part. We need to put in some sweat equity. In corporate talk, we have to buy a piece of the boat. We need that, not for God's sake, but for ours; to remind us, to imprint on ourselves, the depth of our own needs.

For those of you who are ambivalent about marriage, good for you! You are in a position to enjoy some amazing blessings. And to those of you who long for it...good for you. You are, too.

Be encouraged. Be at peace.

Roxie



shemaromans -> RE: Praying for a spouse (8/5/2008 8:24:31 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: DreadPirateRandy
Prayer is the most powerful tool anyone could have. I recommend to anyone looking for a spouse to pray relentlessly. It DOES work. But without faith and trust, it won't.

I respectfully disagree, DPR.

I prayed for my dad to be healed of his cancer. He died. Does that mean that I didn't have enough faith and trust in God? Absolutely not. (God did heal him, just not in the way that I preferred at the time)

Does it mean that if I pray for a husband each and every day for the rest of my life and never get married that I don't have enough faith and trust in God? Absolutely not.

Our best tool isn't prayer because God isn't our personal genie. Our best tools are our faith, our trust, and his word. We go to him in prayer humbly and yet confidently to present our petitions (after praising him and confessing our sins). We believe and trust that he will align our desires with his will and that he'll also provide what's best for us in the way that he knows is best.

With that said, we should still pray for a spouse just like we would pray for anything else of more serious nature (by that, I mean that I don't that we should pray for God to provide the milk for the cereal that's already in the fridge!).

(I apologize beforehand if I offend you, but this is a soapbox issue for me...)



Tinkerbell_ -> RE: Praying for a spouse (8/5/2008 9:09:25 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: shemaromans

quote:

ORIGINAL: DreadPirateRandy
Prayer is the most powerful tool anyone could have. I recommend to anyone looking for a spouse to pray relentlessly. It DOES work. But without faith and trust, it won't.

I respectfully disagree, DPR.

I prayed for my dad to be healed of his cancer. He died. Does that mean that I didn't have enough faith and trust in God? Absolutely not. (God did heal him, just not in the way that I preferred at the time)

Does it mean that if I pray for a husband each and every day for the rest of my life and never get married that I don't have enough faith and trust in God? Absolutely not.

Our best tool isn't prayer because God isn't our personal genie. Our best tools are our faith, our trust, and his word. We go to him in prayer humbly and yet confidently to present our petitions (after praising him and confessing our sins). We believe and trust that he will align our desires with his will and that he'll also provide what's best for us in the way that he knows is best.

With that said, we should still pray for a spouse just like we would pray for anything else of more serious nature (by that, I mean that I don't that we should pray for God to provide the milk for the cereal that's already in the fridge!).

(I apologize beforehand if I offend you, but this is a soapbox issue for me...)

[sm=thumbsup.gif][sm=thumbsup.gif][sm=thumbsup.gif]

This really goes along the lines of what I mentioned earlier about making God's desire our desire.



DreadPirateRandy -> RE: Praying for a spouse (8/5/2008 9:21:27 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: shemaromans

Our best tool isn't prayer because God isn't our personal genie.


Our best tool IS prayer because it is the source of communication between us and our Lord.

If anything is in His will, it will happen. How can you expect anything to happen without asking?



sunluvingirl -> RE: Praying for a spouse (8/5/2008 10:04:37 PM)

I have definitely prayed for a spouse and that God would be preparing us for each other when the time is right. Unfortunately I wasn't always persistant about it though. It probably had a lot to do with how content I was feeling with life in general at the time.



twinkly -> RE: Praying for a spouse (8/5/2008 11:55:28 PM)

I do pray for God to send the right man my way when the timing is right. I've chosen the last few men who were in my life and I did not do so well with that. And God tried to show me too, but I ignored the flags. So, He hit me with some huge 2x4's I could not ignore and that got my attention.

So, I am gunshy at this point and not even looking. I don't feel I will have to look actually. I just pray and I am quite sure when God is ready he will bring that man to me somehow. And I will know.



John_O -> RE: Praying for a spouse (8/6/2008 12:25:51 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Tinkerbell_

quote:

ORIGINAL: shemaromans

quote:

ORIGINAL: DreadPirateRandy
Prayer is the most powerful tool anyone could have. I recommend to anyone looking for a spouse to pray relentlessly. It DOES work. But without faith and trust, it won't.

I respectfully disagree, DPR.

I prayed for my dad to be healed of his cancer. He died. Does that mean that I didn't have enough faith and trust in God? Absolutely not. (God did heal him, just not in the way that I preferred at the time)

Does it mean that if I pray for a husband each and every day for the rest of my life and never get married that I don't have enough faith and trust in God? Absolutely not.

Our best tool isn't prayer because God isn't our personal genie. Our best tools are our faith, our trust, and his word. We go to him in prayer humbly and yet confidently to present our petitions (after praising him and confessing our sins). We believe and trust that he will align our desires with his will and that he'll also provide what's best for us in the way that he knows is best.

With that said, we should still pray for a spouse just like we would pray for anything else of more serious nature (by that, I mean that I don't that we should pray for God to provide the milk for the cereal that's already in the fridge!).

(I apologize beforehand if I offend you, but this is a soapbox issue for me...)

[sm=thumbsup.gif][sm=thumbsup.gif][sm=thumbsup.gif]

This really goes along the lines of what I mentioned earlier about making God's desire our desire.


(sorry. Going slightly off topic here but it needs to be done.)

So many folk throw the "he'll give you the desires of your heart" line around. Here's what I think it means.

Psalm 37:1 ¶ A Psalm of David. Fret not thyself because of evildoers, neither be thou envious against the workers of iniquity.
2 For they shall soon be cut down like the grass, and wither as the green herb.
3 Trust in the LORD, and do good; so shalt thou dwell in the land, and verily thou shalt be fed.
4 Delight thyself also in the LORD; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart.
5 Commit thy way unto the LORD; trust also in him; and he shall bring it to pass.
6 And he shall bring forth thy righteousness as the light, and thy judgment as the noonday.

Note verse 3. Don't worry.
Then in verse 3. Trust in the Lord
Then in verse 4. Delight in him.

When we stop worrying, and start trusting and take delight in God just because he's God, then he changes us. He puts His Desires in our hearts for us to desire. He gives us the desires of our heart.

Then see verse 5. As we commit our way to him (Be obedient in our heart as well as we can) He brings these desires to pass. He gives us the things we are to desire and He fulfills those desires (although sometimes not in the way we expect).

And finally in verse 6 he makes our righteousness (which is really his righteousness reflected or shining through us) to shine out.

So if we really desire a spouse, Are we not worrying about it, are we really trusting God? Are we delighting in him? If yes to all then rest assured that He has put that desire within you. He will bring it to pass in his time.

I am one of those who is called to be married. God has made me to be a good (some folk would say great but teh OH won't let me say that) husband. And I trust that HE will bring it to pass.



LabGuy -> RE: Praying for a spouse (8/6/2008 12:28:13 AM)

Shema you make a good point - we need to watch out for the idea that the answers to our prayers depend on us. On how much faith we have. That's having faith in faith. Our faith has to be in God, not in how hard we can believe for the answer. Because God does say no at times, even when our requests are right and good and true and we have plenty of faith.

But that brings up something that quite frankly I struggle with. James 1:6-7 tells us we must ask in faith and not doubt, and that if we doubt we should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. Now I have no doubt in God's ability to answer my prayers for a wife, but after so many years of "No", and everything tangible about my life saying it's hopeless, quite frankly it's impossible for me not to doubt that He'll ever say yes. So that just discourages me even more that even my prayers aren't any good. [&o]

-Robb



Tinkerbell_ -> RE: Praying for a spouse (8/6/2008 8:17:48 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LabGuy

Shema you make a good point - we need to watch out for the idea that the answers to our prayers depend on us. On how much faith we have. That's having faith in faith. Our faith has to be in God, not in how hard we can believe for the answer. Because God does say no at times, even when our requests are right and good and true and we have plenty of faith.

But that brings up something that quite frankly I struggle with. James 1:6-7 tells us we must ask in faith and not doubt, and that if we doubt we should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. Now I have no doubt in God's ability to answer my prayers for a wife, but after so many years of "No", and everything tangible about my life saying it's hopeless, quite frankly it's impossible for me not to doubt that He'll ever say yes. So that just discourages me even more that even my prayers aren't any good. [&o]

-Robb

When I was growing up Garth Brooks had a song called "Unanswered Prayers" basically he was thanking God for not answering his prayers.

Shortly after that a local southern gospel group sang a song called "God's delays are not His denies." or something like that.

Basically stating that God answers all prayers. Sometimes the answer is just flat out no. He has other things in store for us. Looking back I can see a few points in my life where God flat out said no and can now see why.

Continue to place your faith in Him, Robb. He'll answer your prayers. *huggles*



sunluvingirl -> RE: Praying for a spouse (8/6/2008 8:31:24 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Tinkerbell_

quote:

ORIGINAL: LabGuy

Shema you make a good point - we need to watch out for the idea that the answers to our prayers depend on us. On how much faith we have. That's having faith in faith. Our faith has to be in God, not in how hard we can believe for the answer. Because God does say no at times, even when our requests are right and good and true and we have plenty of faith.

But that brings up something that quite frankly I struggle with. James 1:6-7 tells us we must ask in faith and not doubt, and that if we doubt we should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. Now I have no doubt in God's ability to answer my prayers for a wife, but after so many years of "No", and everything tangible about my life saying it's hopeless, quite frankly it's impossible for me not to doubt that He'll ever say yes. So that just discourages me even more that even my prayers aren't any good. [&o]

-Robb

When I was growing up Garth Brooks had a song called "Unanswered Prayers" basically he was thanking God for not answering his prayers.

Shortly after that a local southern gospel group sang a song called "God's delays are not His denies." or something like that.

Basically stating that God answers all prayers. Sometimes the answer is just flat out no. He has other things in store for us. Looking back I can see a few points in my life where God flat out said no and can now see why.

Continue to place your faith in Him, Robb. He'll answer your prayers. *huggles*

I really like the words of this song.



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