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RE: To Attend or Not to Attend? - 8/11/2008 8:26:14 PM
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DrivenbyGod
Posts: 223
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quote:
Hey, maybe we should just never step outside our houses then?!
When I climbed into a derelict burned-out hotel and took food and toiletries to heroin addicts who were living there, was I condoning their lifestyle?
When I went in to a pub one night with a few friends, and sang Christian songs together, even though the majority of folks were very drunk, was I condoning what they were doing?
When I was in a local park, and sat down to talk with a group of homeless alcoholics, was I condoning how they were living?
To me this is no different.
I completely disagree. What you described above is ministering to those people. Going to a gay wedding is completely different. You are not ministering to anyone there, you are being apart of the celebration of their disgusting union.
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RE: To Attend or Not to Attend? - 8/11/2008 8:29:52 PM
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manda59
Posts: 6016
Joined: 9/22/2005
From: Hampshire, UK
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quote:
ORIGINAL: totalfaith
I completely disagree. What you described above is ministering to those people. Going to a gay wedding is completely different. You are not ministering to anyone there, you are being apart of the celebration of their disgusting union.
Please don't presume to tell me what I would/would not be doing there. I would be there to pray and to minister, period.
_____________________________
"Once again....drum roll please! Manda is right"
doinkdom, October 2008
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RE: To Attend or Not to Attend? - 8/11/2008 8:44:28 PM
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preserved
Posts: 778
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So Manda59...Are you indicating that if you attended a gay wedding you would attend to minister God Word...If the wedding is to take place...what could you say to change their minds? What would be the purpose of ministering? Seems the ministering should be done prior to the event...
I also noticed that when person disagrees with you...you seem to become very defensive...All totalfaith said was that they disagreed with you...which is their right....We all reserved the right to speak how we feel to help each other
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RE: To Attend or Not to Attend? - 8/11/2008 9:49:37 PM
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buckifn
Posts: 1760
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quote:
As to whether Jesus would go, yes I believe He might, just as He associated with sinners when He dwelt amongst us here on earth.
I believe you are sincerely deceived on that point. God cannot stand to even look at sin.
I also believe it is an honor if someone calls me narrowminded for my belief in standing for God and the standards His Word asks me to follow. The Bible says straight is the gate and narrow is the way that leads to heaven and few there be that find it..but wide is the way that leadeth to destruction.
According to God's Word no matter how we dice it living a life of sin including homosexuality is the path to hell. I can't see doing anything and lending my support to anything that makes another person think I'm ok with their going there.
A person who respected the op as a friend would not ask her to support his sin. That is the bottom line for me.
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RE: To Attend or Not to Attend? - 8/11/2008 10:52:57 PM
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Onecontent
Posts: 58
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quote:
I really dislike his "partner" because he's closed-minded, has intentionally put a distance between my friend and myself and our other friend. Just a lot of reasons. I'm not the only one who thinks this, either.
quote:
And to better understand my relationship with this guy, we became friends when we were 13. Were inseparable from 7th-12th grade. We talked on the phone almost every night. During college we emailed everyday, talked at least 2-3 times per week, and he came home on my birthday to take me to Red Lobster. People often thought we were together, though we never were. Came mighty close, but it didn't happen.
quote:
Part of my other concern is that I think his "partner" is bad news for him.
The fact that I was in love with my friend for most of our friendship makes it worse.
SunshineSoprano, Have you considered that your friend’s “partner” might consider you a threat? If your friend was marrying a woman, she probably would put distance between you and your friend. The fact that you disapprove of the relationship on Biblical grounds makes it worse. If the "partner" has accepted Christ prior to choosing to act on his same sex attraction, your presence could be causing him to feel convicted.
quote:
I want to do the right thing lest this almost lifelong friendship be broken, but I also want to stand for what is right and good in the eyes of God without compromise.
Your attending or not attending the ceremony is not the only factor in whether or not this friendship lasts. You could attend the ceremony and still lose your friend because of the demands of the partner.
BTW I changed my opinion on attending the reception: attending it is celebrating the union and supporting what God says is wrong.
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RE: To Attend or Not to Attend? - 8/11/2008 11:54:22 PM
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thedivabrat
Posts: 538
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From: North and South
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This is obviously quite difficult and bottom line is that you must have peace with your decision. This man seems to be a close friend of yours and so must know your thoughts and beliefs. I understand his wanting you to attend this celebration-but I also think he would understand if you did not attend.
I know how difficult this subject is--I had a family member ,who I loved dearly , who was in a homosexual relationship for many years. They lived together and were inseparable. They did not have a formal ceremony but if they did I would not have attended if it took place in a church. But if it was at a home or park or hotel--I think I would have. I don't think I can clearly state my reasons in this type of discussion because it would be too lengthy and it would take a lot of conversation to be understood.
Have you talked with your friend? Maybe it would be easier to come to a decision if you did talk with him.
_____________________________
This is the day the Lord has made; let us be glad and rejoice in it. Ps 118:24
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RE: To Attend or Not to Attend? - 8/12/2008 4:27:36 AM
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ebony101
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I wouldn't attend. I think the ceremony is a mockery of marriage. That's just my opinion.
_____________________________
'We're writing a gospel, a chapter each day,
By the things that we do & the words that we say.'
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RE: To Attend or Not to Attend? - 8/12/2008 7:14:09 AM
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sunshinesoprano
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From: Georgia
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BJoyMN asked me a few questions.
I do think the "partner" sees me as a threat. He knows quite well that my friend and I were inseparable all those years. Our other friend from school actually brought that to my attention. I've not pushed our contact, however, since they became "serious," other than the occasional lunch during the week. Not sure how that seems threatening, though. I gracefully gave them all the space they needed.
I have also asked him some very point blank, in your face questions about how he, raised by a Southern Baptist preacher, could reconcile his choice when he knows the Word. I don't think that made me one of his favorite people.
My friend sees me as a faithful, non-judgmental Christian. He appreciates my open-mindedness, but also that I was honest with him from the time he told me that while I could never, EVER support his choice, I would always love him because he's my life-long friend.
Manda, I can honestly say I don't know of anyone, other than perhaps you, that would go to a wedding or ceremony of any kind to "minister" persay. The point is that the focus is on the one/ones for whom the ceremony is held, and doing anything but that would be out of line and brinigng attention to yourself...something Jesus ridiculed the Pharisees for doing. I don't want to be a Christian wedding-crasher. How would that help at all? I'm not saying you advocate being disruptive, but anything other than being a grateful guest would be seen, at least in America, as tacky. Not the way I want to witness to them.
I'm still praying and hopefully God will show me the appropriate answer.
_____________________________
Pure Heart-Fresh, Progressive Southern Gospel
Sing, laugh, love, PRAISE!
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RE: To Attend or Not to Attend? - 8/12/2008 8:16:48 AM
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manda59
Posts: 6016
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From: Hampshire, UK
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quote:
ORIGINAL: sunshinesoprano
Manda, I can honestly say I don't know of anyone, other than perhaps you, that would go to a wedding or ceremony of any kind to "minister" persay.
Everywhere I go I am open to, and prepared to, minister. You just never know when someone might need a kind word, or a hand on the shoulder, or a smile. Or want prayer.
quote:
The point is that the focus is on the one/ones for whom the ceremony is held, and doing anything but that would be out of line and brinigng attention to yourself...something Jesus ridiculed the Pharisees for doing. I don't want to be a Christian wedding-crasher. How would that help at all?
LOLOL!! I wasn't thinking of standing on a table and preaching, or pushing my way to the front and saying anything!
quote:
I'm not saying you advocate being disruptive, but anything other than being a grateful guest would be seen, at least in America, as tacky.
No wonder so many of y'all see us Brits as rude! lol
quote:
I'm still praying and hopefully God will show me the appropriate answer.
I am sure he will. He's kind of good at His job. 
_____________________________
"Once again....drum roll please! Manda is right"
doinkdom, October 2008
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RE: To Attend or Not to Attend? - 8/12/2008 11:12:12 AM
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revbob4God
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Manda, on second thought, as vehemently as you seem to feel about this issue, I think it best you just don't go.
_____________________________
For thus saith the Lord that created the heavens; God himself that formed the earth and made it; he hath established it, he created it not in vain, he formed it to be inhabited: I the Lord; and none else.
Isaiah 45:18
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RE: To Attend or Not to Attend? - 8/12/2008 11:45:44 AM
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revbob4God
Posts: 598
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Then I would stop obsessing about it because it will do nothing but discourage better health and well being for you.
_____________________________
For thus saith the Lord that created the heavens; God himself that formed the earth and made it; he hath established it, he created it not in vain, he formed it to be inhabited: I the Lord; and none else.
Isaiah 45:18
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RE: To Attend or Not to Attend? - 8/12/2008 12:49:07 PM
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acknwldgeverygdthing
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quote:
Obviously, the only way you can reach someone is by talking to them. But we were also wanred to be careful. It's much easier for filth to rub off on you than clean to rub onto someone else.
I would go - but I would make sure I was strong spiritually that day. Pray Pray- remembering that He that is in you is greater than he that is in the world.
_____________________________
Job 37:10
By the breath of God ice is given, And the broad waters are frozen.
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RE: To Attend or Not to Attend? - 8/12/2008 1:11:39 PM
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laura...
Posts: 2861
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From: NE Ohio
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Two things are bothering me about some previous posts. One is that somehow a Christian would be endangered by a bad or evil influence if they were to go to a homosexual unity ceremony. The second is that those who choose not to go are not strong enough to go or that those who choose to go would need to be strong.
The only thing endangered by a Christian attending such a ceremony would be their witness that homosexual unions are sinful.
_____________________________
This is what the Lord says: “Stop at the crossroads and look around. Ask for the old, godly way, and walk in it. Travel its path, and you will find rest for your souls. But you reply, ‘No, that’s not the road we want!’ Jer 6:16
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RE: To Attend or Not to Attend? - 8/12/2008 1:53:10 PM
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ta_mosquito
Posts: 11468
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quote:
ORIGINAL: revbob4God
Then I would stop obsessing about it because it will do nothing but discourage better health and well being for you.
Ummm... Manda isn't the one that started the thread. The question was posed by SunshineSoprano.
_____________________________
Tricia
"There's a fine line between being open-minded and empty-headed." ~Michael Coren
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RE: To Attend or Not to Attend? - 8/12/2008 2:33:56 PM
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manda59
Posts: 6016
Joined: 9/22/2005
From: Hampshire, UK
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quote:
ORIGINAL: revbob4God
Then I would stop obsessing about it because it will do nothing but discourage better health and well being for you.
LOL! I'm not obsessing about it, I'm just responding to posts and giving the OP an alternative POV!
_____________________________
"Once again....drum roll please! Manda is right"
doinkdom, October 2008
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RE: To Attend or Not to Attend? - 8/12/2008 4:20:30 PM
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BjoyMN
Posts: 29
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From: Minnesota
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quote:
quote:
ORIGINAL: preserved
God's Words says...love the sinner but hate the sin...If you attend this wedding you are condoning and in agreement with the union...If you do not attend...you are not turning your back to this friend...It is making a stand as to what you believe in...This friend should have respected that and not sent the invitation in the first place since he knows how you feel..with that being said...this friend is forcing you to accept his union with his partner...
SunshineSoprano- this seems to be the real question and what you must determine. I do not agree with this statement in general but every relationship has its own life and you are the only one here who knows the history of your long relationship, how you have witnessed to him, and whether this will be the case with your friend. You have stated he knows your position...if you show up at his celebration, will he really think you have given up your faith and you are now agreeing with his sinful lifestyle? I don't think so. I'm guessing he will just be happy to see you and that he will see you are filled with the love of God that you talk and sing about so much. That you do believe we can love the sinner and hate the sin and that he can do the same. I don't see this as him "forcing you to accept his union with his partner". He didn't ask you to sign a form as a witness did he? Why did he invite you SunshineSporano? If you truly do not know why he invited you, don't be afraid to ask him. God bless you!
[Post edited by mod to fix screen formatting]
< Message edited by ta_mosquito -- 8/12/2008 6:39:46 PM >
_____________________________
Proverbs 3:5-6 (LIV) "Trust in The Lord with all your heart. Acknowledge Him with everything you do and He will guide your path."
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RE: To Attend or Not to Attend? - 8/13/2008 4:10:36 AM
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HenriettasCat
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I haven't managed to read all the pages in this thread so forgive me if I am going over old ground. The OP is right to be praying about this decision. If the answer was so clear cut she would not need to pray about it. I am not sure what I would do in the situation - it is a matter of asking the Lord what HE would have YOU do. A couple of points.
1) I don't think we should make our decisions based on what other people might think. "What about our witness" is a bit of a stinker - we obey God with a clear concience and He will take care of our witness. Christians do lots of things that the world does not understand, but we are not answerable to the world. Jesus did many things against convention and 'shocked' the religious leaders of the day. Sometimes it is our doing the unexpected which is the greatest witness. Whoever else is at the event who knows you are a Christian will probably expect you to shun him - by not doing so you may be demonstrating a greater testimony of God's grace.
2)I cannot help but feel that your friend is very brave to have asked you to attend (either that or very arrogant and is trying to test you - you decide). He has risked your rejection. He already knows your views on his relationship. Was his invitation a plea for unconditional love or is it a bold attempt to test your resolve and compromise your faith? - (in which case you have every right to be offended at his suggestion that you attend the event).
< Message edited by HenriettasCat -- 8/13/2008 4:17:06 AM >
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RE: To Attend or Not to Attend? - 8/13/2008 9:52:46 AM
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BjoyMN
Posts: 29
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From: Minnesota
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quote:
Sometimes it is our doing the unexpected which is the greatest witness. Whoever else is at the event who knows you are a Christian will probably expect you to shun him - by not doing so you may be demonstrating a greater testimony of God's grace.
Thank you HenrriettasCat - you put this into words I have been trying to formulate. SunshineSoprano - your friend needs to see that God's grace is sufficient in all circumstances. Sometimes God's overall purpose (the big picture) is way too big for us to see, we are only looking at one event. Is it possible The Lord can use you at this event to plant seeds of grace and help in changing your friend's heart ten or even twenty years from now? Stay in prayer and on your knees until The Holy Spirit reveals how He wants to use you in this situation. Are you willing to "sing a new song" for your friend that gives all the glory to God?
Again, I am sorry that I seem to just keep asking questions. I'm trying to put myself in your place and determine what questions I would be asking myself and how I would be praying. Blessings to you as you love and serve.
_____________________________
Proverbs 3:5-6 (LIV) "Trust in The Lord with all your heart. Acknowledge Him with everything you do and He will guide your path."
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RE: To Attend or Not to Attend? - 8/13/2008 11:38:01 AM
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shadowspring
Posts: 1635
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quote:
I cannot see the benefit of staying away and giving my friend the message "nope, sorry, I am better than that, I am a Christian and I do not associate with sinners - period, end of sentence".
As a Christian who was formerly living a sinful lifestyle, I can assure you that I never once thought my Christian friend was haughty or self-righteous when she clearly communicated to me that she would not support my sinful lifestyle, though she personally loved me very much.
In fact, she showed her love by NOT supporting my sinful lifestyle, associating with me when I was on more neutral territory (school) and coming to my support with tears of compassion and offers of prayer when my sinful lifestyle led to some rather unpleasant consequence in my life.
She showed her love by telling me every chance she got to give up my sinful ways and follow the Lord. Also she shared her Doritos and Diet Coke. 
No true friend would support me in self-destructive behavior.
None of the wishy-washy Christians who were my so-called friends but never confronted me, and even partied with me, have my respect and loyalty as a friend twenty years later, but S. H. will have it forever!
_____________________________
"Blessed is the man...whose delight is in the law of the Lord, and in His law meditates day and night. He will be like a tree planted by rivers of water..." from Psalm 1
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RE: To Attend or Not to Attend? - 8/13/2008 11:40:51 AM
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shadowspring
Posts: 1635
Joined: 5/27/2006
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quote:
He has risked your rejection.
If she chooses not to attend his ceremony she is not rejecting her friend, she is rejecting an invitation to celebrate homosexual commitment.
I am quite sure, judging from the length of their relationship, that her friend is capable of making the distinction. We are talking grown adults here.
_____________________________
"Blessed is the man...whose delight is in the law of the Lord, and in His law meditates day and night. He will be like a tree planted by rivers of water..." from Psalm 1
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RE: To Attend or Not to Attend? - 8/13/2008 12:03:05 PM
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zoebob
Posts: 8789
Joined: 4/13/2005
From: land of limbo
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quote:
ORIGINAL: shadowspring
quote:
I cannot see the benefit of staying away and giving my friend the message "nope, sorry, I am better than that, I am a Christian and I do not associate with sinners - period, end of sentence".
As a Christian who was formerly living a sinful lifestyle, I can assure you that I never once thought my Christian friend was haughty or self-righteous when she clearly communicated to me that she would not support my sinful lifestyle, though she personally loved me very much.
In fact, she showed her love by NOT supporting my sinful lifestyle, associating with me when I was on more neutral territory (school) and coming to my support with tears of compassion and offers of prayer when my sinful lifestyle led to some rather unpleasant consequence in my life.
She showed her love by telling me every chance she got to give up my sinful ways and follow the Lord. Also she shared her Doritos and Diet Coke.
No true friend would support me in self-destructive behavior.
None of the wishy-washy Christians who were my so-called friends but never confronted me, and even partied with me, have my respect and loyalty as a friend twenty years later, but S. H. will have it forever!
This is exactly what I meant by saying that going can hurt our testimony. It may not appear so at first but in the long run we will be more respected for not showing the slightest appearance of approving the lifestyle
_____________________________
L-R: DD1, Ellies DS2, DD2, Ellies DS1
L-R: Ellies DD1, Ellies DD2, DS, Ellies DS3
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RE: To Attend or Not to Attend? - 8/13/2008 12:16:33 PM
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Cloak
Posts: 4573
Joined: 1/4/2008
From: Canada
Status: online
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quote:
ORIGINAL: zoebob
quote:
ORIGINAL: shadowspring
quote:
I cannot see the benefit of staying away and giving my friend the message "nope, sorry, I am better than that, I am a Christian and I do not associate with sinners - period, end of sentence".
As a Christian who was formerly living a sinful lifestyle, I can assure you that I never once thought my Christian friend was haughty or self-righteous when she clearly communicated to me that she would not support my sinful lifestyle, though she personally loved me very much.
In fact, she showed her love by NOT supporting my sinful lifestyle, associating with me when I was on more neutral territory (school) and coming to my support with tears of compassion and offers of prayer when my sinful lifestyle led to some rather unpleasant consequence in my life.
She showed her love by telling me every chance she got to give up my sinful ways and follow the Lord. Also she shared her Doritos and Diet Coke.
No true friend would support me in self-destructive behavior.
None of the wishy-washy Christians who were my so-called friends but never confronted me, and even partied with me, have my respect and loyalty as a friend twenty years later, but S. H. will have it forever!
This is exactly what I meant by saying that going can hurt our testimony. It may not appear so at first but in the long run we will be more respected for not showing the slightest appearance of approving the lifestyle
Ditto!!! I can Not add any more wisdom to what's being said by you folks, bless you! 
_____________________________
Blessings!
And My God shall meet ALL Your Needs according to His glorious riches in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4: 19)
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RE: To Attend or Not to Attend? - 8/13/2008 2:03:25 PM
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BjoyMN
Posts: 29
Joined: 1/17/2008
From: Minnesota
Status: offline
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quote:
None of the wishy-washy Christians who were my so-called friends but never confronted me
SunshineSoprano-
This is exactly my point......you HAVE confronted your friend and you are confident he knows your faith and that you are NOT a wishy washy Christian and yet he has invited you. You asked for opinions whether to attend or not attend because you are conflicted. How many other people are speaking Christ into your friend's life right now? Do you believe God crossed your paths for a reason? Pray and trust God to guide you down this path with your friend.
_____________________________
Proverbs 3:5-6 (LIV) "Trust in The Lord with all your heart. Acknowledge Him with everything you do and He will guide your path."
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