Parenting College Children (Full Version)

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revbob4God -> Parenting College Children (8/6/2008 11:17:25 AM)

A friend stopped by today and asked me to pray and offer prayers for her son. He is going into Junior year of college, and in his twenties. He was working the summer at an amusement park, and while working, someone broke into his dorm apartment and stole some items dear to him. Unfortunately, the people he rents from wanted to hold the son responsible for the door, and replacement of the lock damaged in the burglary which totaled more than the boy would have made in the final two weeks he is scheduled to work.
Bottom line, the young man no longer feels he can work as he should while worrying about his belongings. The parents have asked him to come home. I support this because I know the young man and I reflected the same to the mother.
I included this topic because parents of adult children also face issues with their children, and I would appreciate it if those who read this join me in the prayer I posted for the young man's return home today, because I know the issue is heavy on his heart and the drive will take several hours.
Thanks.
Bob



manda59 -> RE: Parenting College Children (8/6/2008 11:25:13 AM)

My son is 19 and has just finished his first year at University (we're in the UK). Thankfully, his Uni is only 45 minutes away by train or car, so he is still living at home and we don't have the same issues as your friend has with his son.

However, I would say that this sounds like his landlord doesn't have insurance on the property - which *should* have been obvious when your friend's son read and signed the tenancy agreement (he did sign something, didn't he?). If it had been my son, I personally would have advised him against renting any accommodation where the landlord didn't have insurance, or advised him to take out his own insurance for the duration of his tenancy. If your friend's son decides to look for more accommodation, I'd recommend that he bears this in mind.



revbob4God -> RE: Parenting College Children (8/6/2008 11:32:29 AM)

From what I am told, the young man has already made arrangements to have renters insurance for the place he will rent at school this fall, but in the current situation, he was renting from the amusement park, and originally, there was no agreement, just very cheap rent, and the assurance his property would be safe. He was originally told locks are changed every season, however when the young man took the police report and asked for a new lock and a dead bolt, they wanted to charge him for the entire door, which to me did not make sense. IMHO we should all be grateful that there was not much taken, and that it could be replaced relatively easily, but the things taken, according to police, and the way the place was broken into suggested to them that whoever broke in may have been doing so to also see what was there, and without securer locks and a better door, possibility of another break in is likely, and even with the police saying that they still wanted to charge the boy for the door, and IMHO if he is the victim of a robbery and did not damage the door, the place should have their own insurance to cover that sort of damage, not the victim of the burglary.



shadowspring -> RE: Parenting College Children (8/6/2008 11:53:20 AM)

If this is in the states I do not see how the landlord can legally hold a tenant responsible for the damage done to the apartment by a burglar.

This just doesn't add up. The tenant should not have to pay any damages to his landlord unless he caused the damage. If there was no lease signed he can just leave anytime without paying anything more than he originally agreed to pay.

I suppose the landlord could TRY to get him to pay in small claims court, but tenants are not responsible for the actions of criminals to the rented property. Rather it I agree that the property owner is responsible to ensure that the apartment is kept in the state of repair that the tenant agreed to rent in the first place.

The only way I can see that the tenant can be held responsible for anything is if there is proof that the tenant damaged the door. If someone saw the tenant kick the door in because he couldn't find his keys and he was frustrated, then the tenant should pay. Since that is not the case, the young man is way better off not working for these people another single day.

He could take them to small claims court for his last paycheck, if it is worth the hassle to drive back to that county for the court date. He would most likely win, but you'd have to factor in travel costs and time spent to decide if it would be worth it.

If I were the parent we would have a discussion about contracts and the reason they exist in the first place. This is a great learning experience, and a cheap lesson if he shows discretion in all his future financial dealing after his burn. OUCH [:(]

And yes, we will always be there for our children. We will cover their college costs as best we can and carry them on our health and car insurance until they graduate from college (or are established in business if that's the route they choose).

Our health insurance will cover dependents until they are 25 as long as they are full-time students. Sounds reasonable to me.



manda59 -> RE: Parenting College Children (8/6/2008 12:28:06 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: revbob4God
he was renting from the amusement park, and originally, there was no agreement, just very cheap rent, and the assurance his property would be safe.


Not a wise decision to have made, to have taken the accommodation on that understanding.

quote:


He was originally told locks are changed every season


Maybe this is how they get them changed. [8|]



revbob4God -> RE: Parenting College Children (8/6/2008 1:27:37 PM)

amen. I am just glad he did not lose more than what was lost and the family will make sure he is well taken care of, not to mention the church, we are all waiting to welcome him back, lecture a little bit and things will be fine. It is a blessing the young man's parents are Godly People.



pbaribeault -> RE: Parenting College Children (8/6/2008 2:57:18 PM)

Besides, it's a pretty crummy job if you can work 2 weeks and not make enough money to buy a door and a deadbolt!



Sadey -> RE: Parenting College Children (8/9/2008 9:59:47 AM)

Why would you be lecturing a 20 something year old man? I am just not understanding this, did he lose all of his money or things he needed for college, like his computer?



zoebob -> RE: Parenting College Children (8/9/2008 10:56:54 AM)

I don't see the OP lecturing the young man.

As for owner's insurance I don't think any lease I've ever signed has stated that the landlord held insurance on the property. It is generally stated that the tenant is responsible for any damages they make and the landlord is responsible for general upkeep. Whether he chooses to have insurance or not is not the tenants resposnibility the landlord is still responsible to keep things safe.



relady -> RE: Parenting College Children (8/9/2008 11:03:38 AM)

quote:

Besides, it's a pretty crummy job if you can work 2 weeks and not make enough money to buy a door and a deadbolt!
Uh, outside doors to apartments are generally solid core and quite expensive, and he may have been making less $$ in exchange for cheaper than market rent. Who knows? In any case, I hope he refused to replace the door. There is not one state I know of where a tenant is responsible (legally) for this type of damage. I do recommend renters insurance to provide some protection for his personal belongings. Poor kid, what an awful thing to happen so early in life. He doesn't need the lecture, his landlords do.



Sadey -> RE: Parenting College Children (8/9/2008 11:55:46 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: revbob4God

amen. I am just glad he did not lose more than what was lost and the family will make sure he is well taken care of, not to mention the church, we are all waiting to welcome him back, lecture a little bit and things will be fine. It is a blessing the young man's parents are Godly People.


I got it from the third line, "lecture a little bit and things will be fine". I don't know what else it could mean.



zoebob -> RE: Parenting College Children (8/9/2008 11:58:49 AM)

Oh, OK. Imissed that.



Sadey -> RE: Parenting College Children (8/9/2008 12:02:27 PM)

Thats okay, I miss half of what goes on around me, and the other half I'm not too sure of.[;)]

I know this is off topic but are those all your children? If so you are one blessed person



zoebob -> RE: Parenting College Children (8/9/2008 12:26:52 PM)

No, they aren't all mine. If you read my sigline you'll see they are half Ellie's. Actually 5 of them are hers. Some of them are only a few months apart so that would be tough to be mine.



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