Funny personal ads. (Full Version)

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willfs -> Funny personal ads. (8/10/2008 2:36:24 PM)

Okay, we can't post personal ads. I don't think I would do so if I could, but I thought it might be fun to post humorous/ficticous ads... just for fun.


Name: N.Bates
Sex: Male
Occupation: Small Business Owner/Manager
Looking for: Companionship
Physique: Small, thin frame

About me: I run the family business although there are no surviving family members left to help me. My business is located on a scenic drive. It is a small hotel. I take up residence behind the hotel. Any gal looking for a guy with his own business and his own house will be pleased with my situation. I am very close to my mother. She lives with me in the house, though she is very low maintanence and not that talkative but a sweet heart. She has her own opinions on woman and dating but that rarely comes out.



Psalms274 -> RE: Funny personal ads. (8/10/2008 4:38:55 PM)

Name: Olive Oyl
Sex: Female
Occupation: Flapper
Looking for: Companionship, knight in shiny armor
Physique: Waif-like, tall and willowy, long black hair worn in an efficient bun

About me: I take care of my little two year old cousin, Sweet Pea, I have a soft spot for sailors who eat spinach.



onthewayray -> RE: Funny personal ads. (8/10/2008 5:25:26 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Psalms274

Name: Olive Oyl
Sex: Female
Occupation: Flapper
Looking for: Companionship, knight in shiny armor
Physique: Waif-like, tall and willowy, long black hair worn in an efficient bun

About me: I take care of my little two year old cousin, Sweet Pea, I have a soft spot for sailors who eat spinach.


I eat spinach right out of the can........And enjoy helpping out where ever need I can do most anything........I am what I am



teaspoon61 -> RE: Funny personal ads. (8/10/2008 5:28:39 PM)

quote:

I eat spinach right out of the can........And enjoy helpping out where ever need I can do most anything........I am what I am


OOPPSSSS
Should be . . "I yam what I yam!"



onthewayray -> RE: Funny personal ads. (8/10/2008 5:33:31 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: teaspoon61

quote:

I eat spinach right out of the can........And enjoy helpping out where ever need I can do most anything........I am what I am


OOPPSSSS
Should be . . "I yam what I yam!"



Maybe or it could be I is what I is!!!![&:]



Grace-N-Mercy -> RE: Funny personal ads. (8/10/2008 7:51:28 PM)

Name: Annie
Sex: Female
Occupation: Orphan
Looking for: A home and happiness
Physique: I'm short, don't let that get in my way. I've got red hair & freckles, too.

I'm optimistic and spunky... looking for a someone to open their home, and their heart, to me. It's been a hard-knock life, but I'm looking forward to tomorrow (tomorrow, I love ya tomorrow, you're only a day away [sm=icon_smile_sing.gif]). I love to sing and go around singing things like "you're never fully dressed without a smile"



Blazingson -> RE: Funny personal ads. (8/10/2008 9:06:18 PM)

NAME: Fox Mulder
SEX: Male
OCCUPATION: Special Agent for the Federal Bureau of Investigation
ABOUT ME: I'm tall with black hair and brown eyes. I'm suspicious to the point of paranoia. My job is my life and everything I do revolves around my desire to find my younger sister who was abducted by aliens at the age of eight.
HOBBIES: Investigating government conspiracies, UFO's, alien's, ghost's, vampires, werewolves, and other paranormal phenomena.
SEEKING: Fellow agent. Preferably with red hair, a medical degree specializing in forensics and severe skepticism about anything out of the ordinary. Must be willing to sacrifice all for my quixotic fight against the evil forces in control of our government.



rgod -> RE: Funny personal ads. (8/10/2008 9:43:33 PM)

Name: Dr. Bruce Banner
Sex: Male
Occupation: Physicist
Looking for: A lovely woman who is very calm and who loves harmony (I don't like to get angry). It would be helpful if she is a good seamstress and if she can run very quickly should something ... ahem ... happen.
Physique: Well ... that's complicated

About me: I am a mild mannered physicist who researches gamma weaponry. I love long walks on the beach, sunsets, jeans, plaid shirts, and puppies. I must be up front and tell you that I have a slight anger issue. I have taken anger management courses and can show you the certificates if needed. My favorite color is green.



Ps103 -> RE: Funny personal ads. (8/10/2008 9:55:52 PM)

Name:. M. Channing
Sex: Female
Occupation: Actress
Looking for: A good man who appreciates a mature woman and won't go running off after some young thing.

A little about me: Mess with me at your own peril...



Grace-N-Mercy -> RE: Funny personal ads. (8/10/2008 10:48:36 PM)

These are absolutely hilarious!! I'm enjoying reading all these "personal ads" [:D]

Blazing, I take it you like redheads? [sm=redhairsmile.gif]



OneJohn410 -> RE: Funny personal ads. (8/11/2008 12:16:21 AM)

Name: Clark Kent
Sex: Male
Occupation: News Reporter
Looking for: my glasses
Physique: No thanks, I prefer non-carbonated

About me: I am always looking for my first big story in the Daily Planet, but someone always beats me to it. I'm tolerated there, but am not sure I'm well-liked. I've never outgrown my Under-roos, and always have a fresh pair on, including the optional top, cape, and big boot socks under my daily outfit. You may think you've finally met your match, but I can assure you I've seen you coming a mile away. People with me love the feeling of wind hitting their face at very fast speeds, yet are able to breathe in it, as I am. Actually, that's my split personality talking. Taken together, we are both harmless if you are a good person. Come to think of it, I have that in common with the family dog out on a ride in the car.



willfs -> RE: Funny personal ads. (8/11/2008 9:48:24 AM)

I really don't care. Its up to everyone else. Yes its is kinda a game thread I guess. More of a humor thread but if that is the same thing as game then its a game thread.

By the way. Wow. Those of some great personal ads. I never realized those "personalities" were looking for love.



mutinywxgirl -> RE: Funny personal ads. (8/11/2008 11:41:30 AM)

I'm locking pending administrative review.



Fritzpw_Admin -> RE: Funny personal ads. (8/11/2008 3:13:03 PM)

Shipping this to the Humor folder.



willfs -> RE: Funny personal ads. (8/11/2008 4:43:24 PM)

Name: Awesomechurchguy
Occupation: Yes
Looking for: I don't understand this question.
Physique: I have good hand-eye coordination.

About me: Hi. My friends tell me I am funny, sensitive, smart, courageous, brave, sweet, humble, loving, funny, intense, passionate, ambitious, intelligent, desperate, witty, kindhearted, hungry, playful, funny, good with children, good at computer solitaire, happy, content, sociable, scary, laid back, mature, sophomoric, likeable, sincere, gifted, gassy, honest, spiritual, selfless, needy, adorable, introspective, reflective, inspective, infective, susceptive, congestive, and I have a great smile. In my free time I enjoy sunsets, rainbows, animals, Taco Bell, and helping other people. I have been known to try new activities. In fact, whatever activities you like, I will like. Why don’t you just message me and tell me who you want me to be and I will become that.

Who I am looking for: Love



OneJohn410 -> RE: Funny personal ads. (8/11/2008 5:00:20 PM)

Name: Jack Sparrow
Sex: Male
Occupation: Captain (ARrrggh! Methinks me heard someone say shipping?)
Looking for: The Black Pearl, me flask, helmet with faceguard (I'm tired of being slapped silly!)
Physique: (Sniff sniff) I do not stink, went overboard last Tuesday. I can spin around in the air on a rope with the best of them.

About me: I'm a bloody pirate, a scallywag, and basically a good person. Some say I look like a rock star![sm=icon_smile_yikes.gif] Aye, but me can't sing a toon worth a bit. I've been known to go from human to quite skeletal depending on the lighting conditions around me, but it's always Captain Jack Sparrow, and always good. I can pick the good apple from a poisoned bowl of 'em, and I hate to see a lady in distress, especially when she's having trouble breathing! If you think it's wise to be crossing blades with a pirate, you will never feel the cursed in remembering the day you dated the wrong guy.



still4gvn -> RE: Funny personal ads. (8/11/2008 6:20:36 PM)

name: Susan
sex: no
occupation: sometimes attend school in England, sometimes am a queen in a different place (kind of a long story)
physique: look about 17 though sometimes I feel over 200.

About me: I'd like a guy who can be flexible and multi-cultural. Species isn't that important, but he must be royalty, know swordplay, and be able to graduate a British prep school. I am nice looking, a good archer, and very sensible. Much more sensible than my brothers and sister who tend to run off on adventures much too quickly. Oh, and he must be able to adjust to the idea that Jesus has appeared as an animal. But not in Britain. Um, we can discuss that part.



ColoradoLady36 -> RE: Funny personal ads. (8/13/2008 8:46:59 PM)

Lol..These are a hoot. Ohh I so want to meet AwesomeChurchGuy...giggles. He sounds like my kind of man...lol.



Cloak -> RE: Funny personal ads. (8/13/2008 9:30:39 PM)

Thanks for the laughs folks. You really made my night! [:D]



PrincessButtercup -> RE: Funny personal ads. (8/13/2008 10:17:14 PM)

Name: Mommy
Occupation: Desperate home maker
Looking for: A man to marry my daughter

Can be any age. Looks don't matter as long as he is disgustingly wealthy. His favorite meals must be something that I can cook, so that I can spoil you rotten and get you to do anything that I want. Must have children immediately so that I can play with them. All applicants will receive massive amounts of home made brownies.



ebony101 -> RE: Funny personal ads. (9/2/2008 7:59:48 PM)

These personal ads are a hoot. I have to admit the first one had me fooled. [:D][:D][:D]



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