Prayer or if anyone as struggled with this (Full Version)

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saved_from_wrath -> Prayer or if anyone as struggled with this (8/12/2008 12:21:50 PM)

Hi. all
I know this might be a little on the heavy side, I ll try to filter what I can and still give the essence of it, if the mods do see this maybe they can move it to where its more appropriate
I have struggled with this all my life and I know this is something I should not do and I am wanting to stay pure not for me only but for my future relationships.
I have had this desire to have give oral stimulation to men, sometimes its in my face a lot and that is all I am focused on. I did encounter someone a while back and did not go where my desire was wanting to lead me. After wards I was a little bit of a spaz and I have been trying to find the guy to see if we can hook up more but god has blessed me and not wanted me to hook up.
I know I am not alone with this. And its hard to share this with the guys in the group I go to. They might know something of the sort but never really filled in the blanks. If there is someone whose experienced a little bit more freedom to break the cycle I would like to know.



OneJohn410 -> RE: Prayer or if anyone as struggled with this (8/15/2008 1:06:00 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: saved_from_wrath

Hi. all
I know this might be a little on the heavy side, I ll try to filter what I can and still give the essence of it, if the mods do see this maybe they can move it to where its more appropriate
I have struggled with this all my life and I know this is something I should not do and I am wanting to stay pure not for me only but for my future relationships.
I have had this desire to have give oral stimulation to men, sometimes its in my face a lot and that is all I am focused on. I did encounter someone a while back and did not go where my desire was wanting to lead me. After wards I was a little bit of a spaz and I have been trying to find the guy to see if we can hook up more but god has blessed me and not wanted me to hook up.
I know I am not alone with this. And its hard to share this with the guys in the group I go to. They might know something of the sort but never really filled in the blanks. If there is someone whose experienced a little bit more freedom to break the cycle I would like to know.

Hi Saved_from_wrath,
I read you've struggled with this desire of yours all your life, and it is something you know you should not do. Sometime in your life, it sounds as if you realized you wanted more from life than you knew it would ever provide, you prayed a sinner's prayer, and your life was awesomely changed. Now you are wanting to battle this desire of your past life, being before Christ changed your life and your world.

Habits are not easy to break. I've not struggled with any desire like yours. I don't know what it is you are trying to do to break it. Whatever it is, you are dealing with a habitual desire, so what you do to cope is going to be a habitual replacement desire. Right? Instead of X, you'd want to be doing something 180-degrees away from X. No more X. Whatever you put in there as your replacement desire (filling in that blank), you might consider it not be in the X arena at all, period. No more power to the old, sorry habit that you don't want to give any more of your life to. If you know where you can go to feel comfortable talking to people about this, then since you know you are not alone in what you are dealing with, there's someone else wanting to accomplish the same thing- someone who you could consider an accountability and that they consider you one- you may be familiar with the concept. There's a lot said about breaking desires/habits/addictions this way.

This is not a poke the hole in a bike innertube speech on how to break your cycle. This is right now the time to get the sledgehammer out, hurl the cycle out on the front yard in the sunlight, and start swinging away untlil the mangled cycle is partially buried in the dirt, never able to be fixed again. That's what it's going to take.

I don't know how it is you are praying for guidance to change your life. I am not without habits, and putting the word cycle to relate to a desire you want to do away with suggests you really are sincere about this. That helped me type this, because I've got a bike and etc. etc.

I'm praying for you in this.
OneJohn410



saved_from_wrath -> Thanks (8/17/2008 1:11:11 AM)

thanks
I was thinking when I posted this the mods were going to kick it out or move it. I have been thinking about this when I was a kid.
I really do not know what to think I not very many people responded Ive had a few.... It got thinking it kind of hard to say this to people. I am not sure when we accept christ there is assumption all of our old nature and thinking just drops off the earth. I have not problems with drinking but i was not a drinker
Not all of it...



lostinthe50s -> RE: Thanks (8/18/2008 8:46:18 AM)

Hey Saved..... No, you're not alone in this - I think there are men who do wonder about this as you do - I have - believe me, you need to find a way to substitute or as the other fella said, replacement therapy - it's our thinking that's gets us into trouble - so to change, we have to 'retrain" our minds to think otherwise. I gave in to such a temptation and it almost caused a mental breakdown.... Giving in will only lead to worse stuff Saved..... I know it's difficult to find someone who you can be accountable to - it's a very, very personal thing for sure. And Satan will use it against you to tempt you, to do whatever - we have to be strong....and you must avoid any thing that would place you in that area.....wouldn't you pull a child away from a burning fire if they got to close? Ask God to do the same for you. 1 Cor. 10:13 I hope this helps, if you want to discuss it more, please email me.

God Bless and stay the course
Jim



saved_from_wrath -> RE: Thanks (8/18/2008 5:47:20 PM)

thanks for the post



GroupW -> RE: Thanks (8/18/2008 5:55:36 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: saved_from_wrath

thanks
I was thinking when I posted this the mods were going to kick it out or move it. I have been thinking about this when I was a kid.
I really do not know what to think I not very many people responded Ive had a few.... It got thinking it kind of hard to say this to people. I am not sure when we accept christ there is assumption all of our old nature and thinking just drops off the earth. I have not problems with drinking but i was not a drinker
Not all of it...


Some folks will tell you when they accepted Christ, their old temptations were miraculously gone. I'm happy for them. My friends didn't have that experience. They still have to wrestle with all that old stuff. God will be glorified either way - through his miraculous work. If I'm delivered suddenly from all my old temptations, that's a miracle. If I am delivered through long, slow agonizing work and his hand in my daily life, that's a miracle too. Both accrue to the glory of God. Never let the fact that some recoveries are long, slow, painful processes make you doubt the work of God. We aren't all destined to walk the same road.

I agree, BTW, on the "replacement therapy" idea. To do nothing leaves a vacuum. Vacuums don't hang around for long. Fill the missing space with something good. And soon.



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