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RE: Should We Leave Our Church? - 8/22/2008 10:43:59 AM
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dianetavegia
Posts: 2030
Joined: 8/23/2005
From: Southern Baptist, Non Calvinist, Pro Life Ga. girl
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The 'grading system' gets a big 0 from me!
I have to think there will be a number of families within your church who are not going to think kindly of the grades they were given or the grading process and will protest.
Follow hubby's leading. Any church that takes to grading Christians is a church that is judging 'works'. Only Jesus can do that.
_____________________________
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RE: Should We Leave Our Church? - 8/22/2008 11:11:09 AM
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seeking2knowHimMore
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Wow! Again, more valuable advice to apply to our dilemma! Thanks so much to everyone. You are helping me and ministering to me through your honest feedback! And I'm looking for even more feedback from whoever is lead to provide it!
Blessings to all!!!
Seeking...
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RE: Should We Leave Our Church? - 8/22/2008 3:05:46 PM
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willowdancing
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I wanted to first understand if this recent letter is part of a pattern. Your words (in quote) would indicate it is your church's style. quote:
...harsher than any other letter we have ever gotten over the years.
You seem like a godly, sensible young woman, nevertheless I am thrown off by your desperation and even your need to "explain" to us your schedule and family situation, (your reasons for not attending certain services or taking on certain duties). It is as though you need confirmation that you've been right in not taking on more of an active role in the church and have a need to explain! I agree with others who've said the 1st three paragraphs was what we needed to know.
As others have said: there should never be a need to explain yourselves. The church is a New Testament structure which does not follow legalistic patterns but which operates under grace. Hallelujah, we are forgiven! I can see why your husband is hurt at being "rated". It seems as though the letter didn't come with any accompanying word of blessing or encouragement!
You've given us a powerful illustration of your church leadership and their current management style so your need to justify your involvement instead of just reacting to their judgmental behavior makes me wonder if that style is something you've grown accustomed to little-by-little but with this just being the final straw.
If this rating is a 1st though, I can understand your being thrown off base (desperately seeking advice).
If the elders go along with this, then it must not alarm them. Why not? Is this just a further step in their exercising control: one that finally went over the mark with you and your husband?
Doesn't the minister's preaching reflect his views in this regard??? Aren't his sermons emphasizing his/their goals/vision in tracking these numbers? If so, why was the letter shocking? If not, is the letter an avoidance technique on his part... to do this undercover? Most pastors seek to bring the fellowship along when their thinking and direction is about to take such a drastic step: sermons, dinner meetings, management meetings within the various groups of the church, etc. to make sure everyone is
Your elder board needs to take Phil. 2:3 to heart. Let each esteem others to be better than himself.
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RE: Should We Leave Our Church? - 8/22/2008 3:41:44 PM
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seeking2knowHimMore
Posts: 12
Joined: 8/21/2008
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quote:
ORIGINAL: willowdancing
I wanted to first understand if this recent letter is part of a pattern. Your words (in quote) would indicate it is your church's style. quote:
...harsher than any other letter we have ever gotten over the years.
You seem like a godly, sensible young woman, nevertheless I am thrown off by your desperation and even your need to "explain" to us your schedule and family situation, (your reasons for not attending certain services or taking on certain duties). It is as though you need confirmation that you've been right in not taking on more of an active role in the church and have a need to explain! I agree with others who've said the 1st three paragraphs was what we needed to know.
As others have said: there should never be a need to explain yourselves. The church is a New Testament structure which does not follow legalistic patterns but which operates under grace. Hallelujah, we are forgiven! I can see why your husband is hurt at being "rated". It seems as though the letter didn't come with any accompanying word of blessing or encouragement!
You've given us a powerful illustration of your church leadership and their current management style so your need to justify your involvement instead of just reacting to their judgmental behavior makes me wonder if that style is something you've grown accustomed to little-by-little but with this just being the final straw.
If this rating is a 1st though, I can understand your being thrown off base (desperately seeking advice).
If the elders go along with this, then it must not alarm them. Why not? Is this just a further step in their exercising control: one that finally went over the mark with you and your husband?
Doesn't the minister's preaching reflect his views in this regard??? Aren't his sermons emphasizing his/their goals/vision in tracking these numbers? If so, why was the letter shocking? If not, is the letter an avoidance technique on his part... to do this undercover? Most pastors seek to bring the fellowship along when their thinking and direction is about to take such a drastic step: sermons, dinner meetings, management meetings within the various groups of the church, etc. to make sure everyone is
Your elder board needs to take Phil. 2:3 to heart. Let each esteem others to be better than himself.
Hi Willow,
To answer your questions: our pastor does have a history of sending us yearly general letters to the members...normally just telling us his thoughts and vision for the coming year. We have never, ever been rated before. This is why it's so shocking. I think that I placed a great deal of emphasis on detailing my personal schedule and family situation out of shock....meaning, I can't believe that they didn't take all of this into account when they did these ratings. I don't understand how the could not have! My church leadership knew our situation intimately....it's a church of about 100 members or so. So I wasn't looking for validation as to whether my choices were correct, but rather I wanted to place things in the proper context.
Yes, our pastor's sermons have sometimes chided the members to be more involved in church ministries, in general. Yes, our pastor has verbally told the collective congregation that he would like us to all use all of our gifts and talents to the glory of God and the uplifting of His kingdom.
The most recent letter, which contains the ratings, does say stuff like "I hope you're not offended....I hope you can tell how much I love you...." however, these words did nothing to take the sting out of the sheer shock and surprise that the letter caused us.
I sincerely appreciate your feedback and encouragement! It means a lot!
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RE: Should We Leave Our Church? - 8/22/2008 3:51:40 PM
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laura...
Posts: 2842
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From: NE Ohio
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quote:
I think that I placed a great deal of emphasis on detailing my personal schedule and family situation out of shock....meaning, I can't believe that they didn't take all of this into account when they did these ratings. I don't understand how the could not have! My church leadership knew our situation intimately....it's a church of about 100 members or so.
The thing is, it really doesn't matter what your personal schedule and family situation is or whether or not the church leadership took that into consideration. Rating your church involvement is completely inappropriate. Sending you such a letter is controlling beyond belief.
_____________________________
This is what the Lord says: “Stop at the crossroads and look around. Ask for the old, godly way, and walk in it. Travel its path, and you will find rest for your souls. But you reply, ‘No, that’s not the road we want!’ Jer 6:16
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RE: Should We Leave Our Church? - 8/22/2008 4:03:12 PM
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seeking2knowHimMore
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quote:
ORIGINAL: laura...
[The thing is, it really doesn't matter what your personal schedule and family situation is or whether or not the church leadership took that into consideration. Rating your church involvement is completely inappropriate. Sending you such a letter is controlling beyond belief.
Hi Laura,
Yes, you make an excellent point. The ratings, themselves, are inappropriate and never should have happened. I guess I just figured that, if they were going to do such a thing, they could have at least taken things on a case-by-case basis! I don't think they should have done them at all, though. I agree with your point completely.
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RE: Should We Leave Our Church? - 8/22/2008 4:06:08 PM
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bluestone
Posts: 2934
Joined: 2/25/2008
From: United States of America
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maybe everyone in the church needs to gather at the pastor's house and have a report card burning ceremony.
_____________________________
I need Christ. Not something that resembles Christ.
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RE: Should We Leave Our Church? - 8/22/2008 4:44:25 PM
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crankius
Posts: 4468
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Here is part why such teaching is harmful to the church. It establishes and encourages the thinking that if we do X, Y, and Z, we will be excellent followers of Christ.
This also is what makes it attractive to those who like such things. The leadership can focus on X, Y, and Z (at the expense of teaching and emphasizing a real relationship with Christ, real knowledge of Scripture, and a real relationship within the Body of Christ), and those who are trying to "attain" good standing can focus on X, Y, and Z.
Eventually, if you focus on X, Y, and Z so much in your Christian life, X, Y, and Z becomes your life. In a church this is destructive, and leads to many things, including
A--the people judging one another based on compliance to X, Y, and Z, or
B--people weak in the faith taking leadership roles because of their compliance to X, Y, and Z, or
C--the faithful losing heart.
Paul said that our life should be Christ, "...Christ, who is our life..." Col 3:4.
"As you therefore have received Christ Jesus the Lord, so walk in Him, rooted and built up in Him and established in the faith, as you have been taught, abounding in it with thanksgiving." Col 2:6-7.
Leadership is to lead as examples, not as lords.
-examples of the faith--not Lords over X, Y, and Z;
-true servants of Christ--not as those who "exercise authority over them."
1 Peter 5:1-4 The elders who are among you I exhort, I who am a fellow elder and a witness of the sufferings of Christ, and also a partaker of the glory that will be revealed: Shepherd the flock of God which is among you, serving as overseers, not by compulsion but willingly, not for dishonest gain but eagerly; nor as being lords over those entrusted to you, but being examples to the flock; and when the Chief Shepherd appears, you will receive the crown of glory that does not fade away.
Matthew 20:25-28
But Jesus called them to Himself and said, "You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and those who are great exercise authority over them. Yet it shall not be so among you; but whoever desires to become great among you, let him be your servant. And whoever desires to be first among you, let him be your slave--just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life a ransom for many."
_____________________________
Do not be overly righteous, Nor be overly wise: Why should you destroy yourself?
Ecclesiastes 7:16
SYSTEMATIC THEOLOGY
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RE: Should We Leave Our Church? - 8/22/2008 11:18:40 PM
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chrisovery
Posts: 156
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ok, first of all none of us here are here to please and give man what they want. rather we are here to give them what they need and that by the leading of the holy spirit not of ourselves. nowhere in the bible does it state that we have to be a member of any church. we are a part of the body of christ period. we also do not need to be a part of the church for the assembling together. this can happen in our homes, in the mountains, or anywhere else we meet with christian brothers and sisters to worship or have fellowship in the word of god.
it also sounds a lot like a dictatorship on the borderline of a cult. we can not be judged as to how often we go to church or don't go. none of this makes us saved or unsaved. in my opinion and i believe that i am being led in the spirit saying this, i think you guys need to either find a new church or have your fellowship in other manners.
_____________________________
It is utterly impossible to govern a nation with out the Lord Jesus Christ and the bible.
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RE: Should We Leave Our Church? - 8/23/2008 12:05:56 AM
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Liveloved
Posts: 1876
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Seeking,
I hope you read Joshua 22, the story of the offensive altar. This, too, is a situation where the majority of people thought a wrong had been committed. They gathered to go to war against the ones they 'thought' had committed the offense. That is often how we respond when we've been hurt or when we think someone has done something wrong.
But instead of beginning a fight, the leaders of the other tribes began a conversation with the ones they 'thought' had done wrong by building this altar. They were honest, truthful with the ones they thought had done wrong. Their first words were, "What is this unfaithful act which you have committed against the God of Israel, turning away from following the Lord this day, by building yourselves an altar, to rebel against the Lord this day?" That is how they saw what had been done. They thought a grievous wrong had been committed against them and against God. And they went to the 'offenders' to talk to them to find out what was going on.
Throughout the OT we are told to 'investigate thoroughly' before taking action regarding things we don't understand. So this is what these leaders did.
The 'offending' tribes responded with truth. They told them why they had built this altar. They explained how they were acting in faithfulness to God. They had built this altar as a witness between the two groups.
And the sons of Israel who had initially been offended, changed their minds when they found out the truth about why this altar had been built. In fact, Phinehas' words were, "Today we KNOW that the Lord is in our midst, because you have not committed this unfaithful act against the Lord" and the word pleased the sons of Israel and they blessed God and did not speak of going up against them in war.
And they called this altar "WITNESS" saying it was "a witness between us that the Lord is God." That is the kind of amazing reconciliation and understanding that can come about if we do things God's way, seeking to understand, believing the best of others, and going to them to find out the truth and not assuming we know or understand the 'why' of their actions.
This is what love does. It is not easily provoked. It is patient. You and your husband have been faithful to that particular body of Christ for many years and you say you both love the pastor and his wife. Go to them as love demands and seek to understand. Bless you, seeking.  LL
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RE: Should We Leave Our Church? - 8/23/2008 12:38:01 AM
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crankius
Posts: 4468
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This is just my opinion.
I don't think there is a link between the altar the Children of Reuben built and the letter these leaders wrote with all the legalistic record keeping they have done.
The Children of Reuben, children of Gad, and half the tribe of Manassseh were building an altar to note that even though the Jordan divided them geographically in the promised land, they were united with the other tribes and shared in a "portion in the Lord". They built this altar as a witness between the future generations who might question their unity.
This letter the leadership wrote is only a "witness" to their human pride.
If the husband wants to speak with the leadership, this is a good thing, but it should be to not only ask them why they did it, but to also tell them that it was wrong.
_____________________________
Do not be overly righteous, Nor be overly wise: Why should you destroy yourself?
Ecclesiastes 7:16
SYSTEMATIC THEOLOGY
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RE: Should We Leave Our Church? - 8/23/2008 12:48:24 AM
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TheBibleTRUTH
Posts: 94
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Your church is off the Word, you need to go elsewhere.
The apostles, great men of God, disciples, Jesus Christ, or God; NEVER, EVER, placed any importance on numbers or amounts in the Bible.
Jesus Christ had 12 disciples, only 12! I wonder how that would rate on their scales.
II Timothy 2:16
16) At my first answer no man stood with me, but all men forsook me: I pray God that it may not be laid to their charge.
And guess what, if it's about numbers Paul is also screwed.
Mark 14:41-44
41) And Jesus sat over against the treasury, and beheld how the people cast money into the treasury: and many that were rich cast in much.
42) And there came a certain poor widow, and she threw in two mites, which make a farthing.
43) And he called unto him his disciples, and saith unto them, Verily I say unto you, That this poor widow hath cast more in, than all they which have cast into the treasury:
44) For all they did cast in of their abundance; but she of her want did cast in all that she had, even all her living.
Oh and I guess this woman is not pleasing to God, and Christ lied about how she cast in more than everyone else......
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See I could go on and on about how many of this and how much of that in regards to this topic is irrelevant in the Bible, but I think you get my point. I'm sorry if I came off as harsh or rude.. but your church is very, very wrong. It's very sad what they are doing. In fact, all they are doing is hurting the members and putting them in bondage. This is completely, 100%, contrary to God's word. You should leave immediately.
On a side note, it's important that you don't put your relationships with other people before God. Your walk with God is 90% of the time only between you and God. So if you have any relationships that are hurting your walk with God, you should break them immediately.
God bless you in the wonderful name of Jesus Christ.
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RE: Should We Leave Our Church? - 8/23/2008 6:59:19 AM
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Annie64
Posts: 927
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From: Indianapolis, IN
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In my opinion, you and your husband should talk with your pastor. What he did was very wrong. But so also is the willingness to throw away years of friendship for what may simply be a horrible mistake. If you talk with your pastor, as long as you do it in love, he may be brought to the understanding that this is not the way to drum up more active support from the congregation, and he may even get a clue as to what is driving the fact that there are so few families with young children. But if you leave without talking to the pastor, he could think that you were unwilling to listen to his leadership and took offense too easily. Of course it wouldn't be true, but Satan loves to sow discord. If you left without talking to him, you would be, to an extent, throwing that pastor and that church away, as though it was broken and could never be fixed. You may find that you yourselves have some attitudes that need to be worked on. But if you talk, you have the opportunity of bringing peace, or at the least clearer understanding. If, after talking to the pastor, you still believe leaving is the right thing to do, then by all means, start prayerfully looking for another church.
In saying "you," I mean both you and your husband. If your husband can't be convinced that talking is the best course of action then don't. I don't know your situation as well as you and he do. I could all too easily be wrong. I just said what I think should happen, that there should be some effort at communication before breaking off years of friendship and fellowship.
_____________________________
On Christ the solid rock I stand
ALL other ground is sinking sand.
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RE: Should We Leave Our Church? - 8/23/2008 10:28:38 AM
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chrisovery
Posts: 156
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annie 64, have you ever talked with one of these pastors out of some school before? they were taught by the greatest men in this world, mans revelations of the word and they are put in the position of authority and because they are there in this position they are all right and everyone else is all wrong. all though i would confront him before i left the church and probably publically. one other thing if i am not being taught the truth in a church i am going to leave, and if those people i have been friends with for years turn from me because of this, then they werent really friends and not very good brothers and sisters in the lord neither.
i am sorry but i really do not like your post here. it seems to me that you are more worried about being popular, rather than the ways of the lord.
_____________________________
It is utterly impossible to govern a nation with out the Lord Jesus Christ and the bible.
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RE: Should We Leave Our Church? - 8/23/2008 10:42:32 AM
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Neeva_Candida
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Joined: 7/26/2008
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quote:
I would also remind them that they are remiss as Christians in not preparing a ministry or care for the youth of the church.
And, in fact, I would then remind them that If they were concerned about the well being of the church family, they should be more mindful regarding setting realistic expectations of the flock.
Amen
Reverend Bob
Okay. While I agree that the OP is being treated poorly I have not been able to find the scripture that says the church should provide child care or age-segregated ministries. Seriously. Is there any such reference? I simply don't know.
~Neeva
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RE: Should We Leave Our Church? - 8/23/2008 10:50:40 AM
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seeking2knowHimMore
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All of your responses have been very helpful and encouraging. I'm really thankful, because they are giving me a lot of food for thought. I think one of the problems with my pastor is that he loves to be in control. That's just his personality. He also hates it when people are angry or upset with him in any way. Also, I know that our church has consistently preached sound Biblical doctrine. This whole thing with the letters is really taking us for a loop!! Our pastor made a statement to the congregation a few weeks ago about us getting letters, and he said "please don't be angry with me....this is the vision the Lord has given me for the direction of our church." Of course, at the time he made the statement, none of us had a clue that RATINGS or any type of assessments would be in the letter. THIS HAS NEVER HAPPENED AT OUR CHURCH!! I'm still in shock several days after receiving the letter.
Also, our pastor is very big on the "Obey those who have rule over you." I do believe that we should follow the leadership of our pastors. But our pastor frequently says that everything he does and asks of us is from his direction and leading from the Lord. I can't believe that the Lord told our pastor to do these RATINGS!!!!
The other problem with our church is that people who leave are generally "branded" as being people who are rebellious and just couldn't submit to leadership. They seem to always want to cast a shadow over people who leave, like they didn't want to truly follow Christ's leading through our pastor.....like these people had no desire to truly live Godly lives. I've never agreed with this, though. Yes, some people were clearly just not wanting to live the Christian life at all----it was evident from their talk and walk, etc. But others have left the church for other reasons, and they weren't ungodly people, in my opinion.
< Message edited by seeking2knowHimMore -- 8/23/2008 11:14:15 AM >
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RE: Should We Leave Our Church? - 8/23/2008 10:53:19 AM
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Liveloved
Posts: 1876
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Seeking,
As I prayed this morning, these verses came to mind. This is how the Lord says we are to walk.
I, therefore, the prisoner of the Lord, entreat you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling with which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, showing forbearance to one another in love, being diligent to preserve the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. Ephesians 4:1-3
This is not the way the world walks. This is not the way fleshly men walk. This is the way the Lord would have us walk.
Blessings and prayers, LL
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RE: Should We Leave Our Church? - 8/23/2008 11:05:15 AM
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dianetavegia
Posts: 2030
Joined: 8/23/2005
From: Southern Baptist, Non Calvinist, Pro Life Ga. girl
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I think it was helpful to know why you cannot do some of the things you listed. It says to me that it's not because your favorite show happens to be on t.v., but you have a valid reason you can't do everything the church has to offer.
Ratings are SO unscriptural! Our S/S lesson in our youth tomorrow is on the final judgement and scripture clearly says JESUS will judge us and judge whether what we did was for our own glory or because our heart was in the right place.
Your children are your mission field...... Your family is your calling. Your pastor is trying to embarass people into attending things he finds important. Wrong reason.......
Hebrews 10:23-25 “Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful; and let us consider how to stimulate one another to love and good deeds, not forsaking our own assembling together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another; and all the more as you see the day drawing near.
_____________________________
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RE: Should We Leave Our Church? - 8/23/2008 12:50:52 PM
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Liveloved
Posts: 1876
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quote:
I don't think there is a link between the altar the Children of Reuben built and the letter these leaders wrote with all the legalistic record keeping they have done.
Crankius,
We take the principles from this story to guide us in our actions.
1. It is a dispute between brothers.
2. The 'gut instinct' is to go to war. The gut often respresents a fleshly response.
3. Instead they go and have a truthful, open and honest conversation about what took place. What did you do and why have you done it and we think you are wrong.
4. Listening takes place by both parties.
5. There is a response to the accusation. This too is truthful, open and honest. This is what we've done, this is why we've done it and we see it this way.
6. The ones making the accusation understand WHY the action was taken. And that UNDERSTANDING changes their view of the action.
7. And the brothers are reconciled.
YEAH! I see these principles as being Jesus principles, LIFE principles about how we in the body are to act.
It may not result in the same kind of reconciliation. But the OP will have done right by walking in a manner worthy of the calling with which she has been called, in humility, in gentleness, with patience, showing forbearance in love, being diligent to preserve the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. So far as it depends on her, she will be seeking peace with her brothers.
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RE: Should We Leave Our Church? - 8/23/2008 12:54:45 PM
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truthrevealed
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The more information that you've provided, Seeking.......the more I MUST agree with the wisdom of liveloved. This person's last two posts(don't know how to use the quote thing  ), hit the head on the nail IMO.
I see we cross- posted.......
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RE: Should We Leave Our Church? - 8/23/2008 12:56:52 PM
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truthrevealed
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And now that I've read liveloved's last post....I still agree 
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RE: Should We Leave Our Church? - 8/23/2008 1:17:23 PM
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seeking2knowHimMore
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Oh, I definitely agree that we should never just leave our church in anger. We will need to have an honest discussion with our pastor and express our hearts to him. We cannot do it in anger. An offense has definitely taken place, but yes LiveLoved has made several good points that I do agree with. Just because we're angry doesn't mean that we can throw away the standards that the Lord has given all Christians. We should be able to tell our pastor that we were offended and why were were offended and hurt. The only fear is that he normally doesn't receive this kind of feedback very well. He is a bit bull-headed, which is an unfortunate part of his personality. He hates to hear other people's view points when they are in direct opposition to something that he has "directed," in his role as pastor.
We have to conduct ourselves accordingly. This is one of the major reasons why my husband and I WILL NOT be discussing our personal feelings and concerns about the letter with anyone at our church. We will not be responsible for stirring up any confusion in our church. We are getting some Godly counsel from the folks right here on this board, and also from 2 couples who are dear friends and Christians and are not members of our church.
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RE: Should We Leave Our Church? - 8/23/2008 2:24:42 PM
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terryjohn
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There are a couple of issues that worry me. One is that the vision the pastor is having does not seem to be one the church had much say in. Considering a pastor come minister is but a servant perhaps the curch should be grading his service as well. That such foolishness is happening would make me stop dead in my tracks and marvel that such people had never heard of the Spirit of God or the gospel that they should do such a thing. How has it happened that such unbelievers have crept in to the church unnoticed?
Fortunately the "Church" of God is unlike that of men's. I fear however, that such a gathering with such an attitude may do more harm than good to those truely seeking the truth in which case you would be doing your family harm by staying. By all means you could stay and be Christ but it truely sounds like they are decieved into believing they are doing the will of God. Any resistance would then only be seen as sin in their eyes and you may begin to find yourself on the outside anyway.
I always thought about infiltrating a cult and taking it over thus restoring it to Christ but always imagined myself just keeping it for myself so I could never do it but I can imagine evil men doing such to the church.
In any case, holy men of the past having woken up to the sin of the church they attended have always opposed its sins with the preaching of the goodnews of Chirst until they have been expeled by those who do resist the Spirit of God. Christ, Martin Luther, John Calvin and others never sought to leave the church they loved but they still could not tolerate their sin in the face of Gods glory.
To up root the weeds that have grown will be messy and costly and I guess for your families sake you should just leave and when they wake up to find few left, they may then be given a vision of their foolishness.
I personally would rather leave but then again really holy men will find in the end that they have no church left to attend and have to start their own. It is sad but as Paul said there must be such struggles in the church for at least it shows that at least some of us are saved.
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RE: Should We Leave Our Church? - 8/23/2008 2:43:18 PM
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zoebob
Posts: 8758
Joined: 4/13/2005
From: land of limbo
Status: online
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I find it disturbing that the pastor knows how much you give. You could always give in cash so they don't know
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L-R: DD1, Ellies DS2, DD2, Ellies DS1
L-R: Ellies DD1, Ellies DD2, DS, Ellies DS3
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RE: Should We Leave Our Church? - 8/23/2008 3:08:52 PM
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crankius
Posts: 4468
Joined: 4/12/2005
Status: offline
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Liveloved,
I agree with handling this matter with Biblical discretion. My post didn't disagree with that point.
As I stated, I just don't think their letter can equate to the same as the altar built in Joshua.
The altar was a fine thing to do--once given the chance to explain, all was reconciled and well because no wrong had been done.
The letter is a wrong thing to do. The OP of the thread and her husband certainly should handle this in a Biblical manner that encourages peace, but unless the leadership sees their wrong and repents and changes their manner, there can't be agreement of minds and doctrine.
I was hoping she wouldn't take that passage and then conclude that because the altar was fine in Joshua, the letter from their leadership was a fine thing to do.
The leadership at her church is not behaving in a Biblical manner. They are lording over with authority that is not given to them in Scripture.
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Do not be overly righteous, Nor be overly wise: Why should you destroy yourself?
Ecclesiastes 7:16
SYSTEMATIC THEOLOGY
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