Children's Ministry HELP!! (Full Version)

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Tea-Tea -> Children's Ministry HELP!! (8/28/2008 10:21:09 AM)

Late last spring, I began a children's class on Wed. nights during Prayer Meeting at my church. Throughout the summer we've done really well with having a Bible study of sorts (we read a scripture passage) and have a game or creative activity that goes along with the scripture. The kids have commented on how much fun it is and parents have told me more than once that the kids are really enjoying it. They seem to learn a lot and have great questions.

Then school started.

The kids are completely wild! And things haven't gone well since. I changed gears and got a book that has high energy games in it. The games all have a Biblical lesson. Last night was our first night and it didn't go well at all.

I do not require them to sit and be quiet or anything too structured like that (afterall, they've been in school having to sit and be quiet all day). I try to make it fun. But somewhere I'm failing.

Two kids have ADHD and are on medication. These two have a difficulty listening to anything I say and I spent the entire night repeating my directions more than once. After explaining the games last night, one kid continually said he had a better game and he wanted to play his game only. One kid kept running upstairs without permission. One kid left the building without permission. It was crazy!

We are a small church so we have 1-6 graders together. There are anywhere from 2 to 8 kids there every week. I'm at my wits end! I'm frustrated and want to quit even though 1) I love these kids and want to be a positive influence in their lives; 2) I want them to know they can have fun and still be Christ-like; 3) this is a new class--I was the only one willing to do it and no one else will...I don't want the kids to not have anything on Wed. nights.

Any suggestions are welcome!



small_creation -> RE: Children's Ministry HELP!! (8/28/2008 12:25:14 PM)

Have you outlined some rules to them, so that they know what sort of (good) behavior is expected?

We have a Wednesday night program, and one way we established some ground rules was to devise our "10 Commandments of [program name here]". The kids had a good timemaking their own rules -- approved by the adult, of course -- and placing them on a list. The list was remade into a bigger and more official-looking poster and hung for all to see for the rest of the season.

You'll be surprised at how on point the kids are about what they should and shouldn't be doing. You probably won't have to veto very much -- just fine-tune the list.

THOU SHALL have a fabulous Wednesday night program hence forth.

j



hjemerson -> RE: Children's Ministry HELP!! (8/28/2008 12:37:33 PM)

I have been in your Shoes. Frist after pray you must get support as in another adult or maybe older teen to assit you, You should never really be alone with agroup so many things can go wrong (as one run off you have to stay with the group. Maybe the parents can take turn helping out! You have a great start you know the kids need activites after a day at school .but again they do need to repsect you and the time you have planed for them . I found out a lot of time children that have been at school all day and then come to church on wed night are some time Hungery I know it sound odd, But one year I have a health snack (PB/Toast Butter?Popcorn Prez, etc) at the start and the group seam to settle down, Maybe parents can help out in this keep it simple and low suger! As for the kids with the ADHD if they are on med by the time you get them it is wore off. or if not on med they have held it together durning the day and can not any longer!Starting a Program can be different from just going with the flow stick with it! You also may try some music danceing praisng or the clam down ready to worship cd,
The Lord will show you the way!
I sure you will receve a lot of infro from here God Bless!



lightshineon -> RE: Children's Ministry HELP!! (8/28/2008 12:43:38 PM)

Do you have helpers? If not get some. If so get more, appoint, two of the older kiids to be helpers. One more rule is "you get what you get, and don't have a fit." It is a simply stated rule the children understand. That if they do not get the game, the construction paper color whatever, they understand the principal above. For the child that runs out, he is just acting up. Maybe one of the helpers could give the two ADHD one on one attention with crafts and such. His mom needs to be informed Bless you for your working with God's little ones. Another thing is there an outdoor play area?



Tea-Tea -> RE: Children's Ministry HELP!! (8/28/2008 4:34:55 PM)

Great input so far. Thank you!

I had thought of having a list of rules. We'll plan to work on that next week. We are meeting in our "new" activities building (during the summer we were in the main building in a pretty small room so we moved). The building isn't actually finished so I couldn't really post the rules but I could put them on foam board and bring them every week.

I do have an assistant. Unfortunately, once a month she misses and every 6 or 8 weeks she misses. Even more unfortunate, there's no one else willing. I had thought about asking the parents to take turns and I may do that. I have a feeling having a parent in there would help tremendously!

Taking a low sugar snack is a good idea. Most of them talk about having been somewhere on the way to eat supper so I don't really think they come hungry...but then, aren't children bottomless pits? LOL

And yes, I agree, the meds have probably warn off by 7:00 at night. The thing that gets me is those two kids were off their meds over the summer and I didn't have near the problem I do now that they're on the meds and going to school. It may be that their bodies are used to the meds now and since it's warn off by the time they come to me, they are fit to be tied. While it's frustrating, I realize they can't completely help it, which causes me to feel bad for them.

Music and crafts are something I thought about incorporating into our time. I know signlanguage and may teach them a song using signlanguage.

I also thought about putting the necessary things for 3 different activities in 3 different boxes and label them 1, 2, 3 and let them vote on what to do. I thought it might bring the element of surprise and mystery.

Thanks again you all! And I'm still open for other ideas!!



10SNE1? -> RE: Children's Ministry HELP!! (8/28/2008 5:54:35 PM)

Tammy,

What a wonderful ministry!

First let me echo what others have said: You really must NOT be alone with the kids. If you can't find another adult or teen to commit to being there every single time you meet, I suggest you no longer have the class. While I'm not an advocate of parent rotation systems..we desire to staff our Kids' Ministry with folks who are gifted and called to work with children, not parents who are " taking their turn"...you might need to do this just for the sake of safety as well as liability.

As far as the discipline issues. I suggest that you begin with a mandatory parent meeting. At this meeting you can explain your heart and vision for this class as well as outline behavior expectations and when parents will be called out of the prayer meeting to retrieve an unruly child.

We say that our behavior expectations boil down to three things: Respect God. Respect your Elders, and Respect each other. We made it very clear that there are a few choices which will result in the immediate summonings of a parent: Actions such as deliberate defiance, property damage, hurting another child, bad language etc.

Have you settled into a class routine? In other words, do the kids know what is expected of them? For example, we come in and find a seat We open with prayer and everyone is expected have an attitude of prayer ( respect God), we sing a couple worship songs, the Bible story is presented and we are quiet and listening, we do an activity and then we have a game.

I assume your church has a Sunday morning ministry to children. Have you spoken with the person in charge there? Try to make sure your rules and expectations are lined up with Sunday morning.

Do you have access to Childrens Ministry Magazine. In the current issue, there is an article on taming the "Wild Child" [:D] There are some good suggestions in there. Let me know if you can't find it and I will try to post some of the highlights.

One point that sticks out in my mind: " Don't be afraid of "rewarding bad behavior" by recruiting the trouble-making child as a special helper." This is often just the ticket to get these kids engaged in a productive ( and non disruptive) use of all that energy. In the end , the entire class with benefit greatly because you will be able to teach and not spent all your time policing.


And while it does appear on the surface that you are rewarding bad behavior, remember that you need to keep the eternal perspective. Often these loud, strong-willed kids have incredible leadership potential. Talk to these kids ( one-on-one, away from the other kids) about the awesome responsibility of being a leader. Remind them that they ARE leaders, God made them that way and the only choice they have is whether they will lead others into trouble or into great things for He.

Remember, most of all, that God has given parents the responsibility for the training of children. So don't hesitate to get them on board, ask for help and suggestions and expect that, once they know the behavior expectations, they will be reminding and reinforcing them before they drop off their children.

Deb



hjemerson -> RE: Children's Ministry HELP!! (8/29/2008 3:51:13 PM)

I am keeping a watch on this post .It has been some great ideals, It is nice that you have got new place to start this fall session, with that it may be a good way to keep them movated to follow the rules and repesct the limits of the group! You have a heart for the children and understand the needs of the group. A parent meeting/activivty is a great and a Must to get every one on the right track! But as thing go along don"t forget to reward and praise the kids that are following the rules . As I have seen in the past some times the Well behaved kids get left on the side by dealing with the one that are being unrulely. May God Bless you and give you special engery on you Nights! Pray for a person that has the same love of children as you do to assist you !



4ChristisLove -> RE: Children's Ministry HELP!! (9/7/2008 3:53:50 PM)

Praise God that you have a heart for this ministry. My one and only thought is you need more help. I will pray that other's will step up. I think the one thing that will help is seperating the ages and having two groups. I think a child who is in 1st grade shouldn't be in the same class as someone in the 6th grade. I can only think that things would be better if they were broken up so that you can focus on more age appropriate things for each age group. That was just my thought because I too work with in the children's ministry. God will make a way! :)



flemdawg1 -> RE: Children's Ministry HELP!! (9/8/2008 11:36:22 AM)

You should not be left alone w/ more than 5 kids, otherwise its unsafe. Ask the pastor to make an announcement for volunteers and pray for the right ones to answer. If you are left all alone w/ a large group again, march them all into the prayer meeting, they'll definately get the message. As far as the ADHD kids, we use a 3-strike for small group discipline. Strike 1 is a general verbal warning, Strike 2 is a short face to face in the hallway, Strike 3 is suspension until there is a parental meeting.



sisrev -> RE: Children's Ministry HELP!! (9/10/2008 3:49:41 PM)

I used to teach a Wednesday night class of girls, ranging from K-2 grade, anywhere from 8-14 of them. Also have done a small children's church of wider ages.

One of the things you need to do is emphasize that coming to class is privilege, not a right. I had a couple of girls that liked to stir things up, be disrespectful, etc., and I let the whole class know that I would give a warning first; 2nd they had to sit in a chair against the wall, separated from the rest of the class for several minutes; on the 3rd infraction, I would take them out to the sanctuary to their parent, or if the parent was not there, another responsible adult. I NEVER had to take one out, but they knew I would do it if necessary. We went over these together every week for a while, and then periodically for a refresher. I'd ask them a question, "What happens when you do something you aren't supposed to do?" "Warning!" "What happens next if you don't straighten up?" "Time out against the wall!" "What happens if you still don't straighten up?" "You have to go to big church and sit with a grown-up!" I told them, also, that if that every happened, I would have to have a talk with them and their parent before they would be allowed to come back to class. Like I said, it never went that far, but I had my bluff in on them about how "mean" I could be if they pushed it. (I told them I would be the funnest and the meanest teacher they ever had, but they had to behave.)

I also had a rule that if at any point I raised one hand over my head for attention, with the other hand I placed a finger over my lips (like the quiet sign), that everyone was to stop whatever they were doing, sit still, and do the same thing. That way, I had a plan in place to stop things from spiraling out of control. We practiced this, like a game, almost every week until they got the hang of it. Once I would do it, each child would stop and do it, then they would each see someone else doing it and they would stop and do it, etc. It worked better than just hollering for them to be quiet!!!! [sm=biggrin.gif]

Every now & then I had one who pushed really hard, and I sometimes had to have a heart to heart talk with the child to see if I needed to bring the parents into it, but I never had to go that far, thankfully.

I nearly always had a craft, plus the lesson, plus snacks & juice. They got a kick out of getting to be helper--one would pass out the napkins, one the drinks, one the snacks. I had either chalkboard or a white board that they were allowed to write & draw on, and the would argue over who's turn it was to clean the boards. We played "I spy" and "Mother May I" a million times after the class was over & cleaned up, while we waited for the parents to come get their kids.

By all means recruit helpers--if the parents know that will only have to help once every 2 months or so, they probably won't mind. That at least gives you another pair of eyes and hands.

Good luck with the little devils, er, darlings!![:)]



Tea-Tea -> RE: Children's Ministry HELP!! (9/11/2008 3:24:24 PM)

I'm reading all these great ideas. Thanks!

As for splitting the group up...that's not an option. I only have about 8 kids when everyone comes but on a regular basis, I only have about 3 to 5. I struggle with having enough kids to do games as it is! Besides, I'm telling ya, there is NO ONE else willing to help. Our church is mostly made up of elderly folks who aren't able (some aren't willing) to help. There are only 4 sets of parents since most of the kids are siblings. I may let them rotate when my normal helper has to be out.

We have made our rules...the kids came up with some great ones! My biggest trouble maker came up with "Don't yell or scream at anyone." And he suggested that just a few minutes after screaming at me. [&:] The girls in the class wanted to write the rules on posterboard for me--and it's looking great! I think it will help to have the rules and I'll incorporate some of the other ideas from here, especially the raising your hand and doing the quiet sign!

Last night I had placed different sized balls on the tables against the wall. Before I could even tell the children about them, they started grabbing them and throwing them. I made them put them back and we talked about how if anything is on those tables, they are off limits until I say. I'm trying to teach them not to touch things that aren't theirs.

I must admit I'm getting so close to giving up. But I realize that this is the first time we've had kids on Wed. nights in several years so it's an important ministry. So onward I go!

Thanks again you all! Keep the ideas coming...I'm definitely gleaning some great information!



sisrev -> RE: Children's Ministry HELP!! (9/11/2008 6:03:16 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Tea-Tea

I struggle with having enough kids to do games as it is!


"I Spy" is a good one for when you need to them to be still--it works with as few as 3, especially if you play with them. I just always made sure we went around the table giving our answers, not just letting them shout them out, or letting the "spyer" call on them at random--that way I knew everyone got a turn.

"Gossip" is a good one you can do with just a few, as well.

Hang in there, good luck, and bless you for being a willing worker!



flemdawg1 -> RE: Children's Ministry HELP!! (9/12/2008 10:18:58 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: sisrev

"Gossip" is a good one you can do with just a few, as well.



Teaching kids to sin, for shame! Do you have a game called "fornicate" as well? :-D



Joyful1N3 -> RE: Children's Ministry HELP!! (9/28/2008 1:44:10 PM)

Hello, you have a lot of good advice already. I hope you won't mind a little more. Having dealt with a similar situation. First the rules chart with kids input is a great place to start. Include rewads/consequences ie.a prize box for kids to choose from at the end of class. Also write out steps that define the consequences for inappropriate behavior. 1st offence verbal warning, 2nd step sit away from group and watch others behaving with respect for you and classmates. 3rd and finally sent back to parent untill choose to behave. You have a good idea keeping the lesson short. I found object lesson that are short and involve kids in a hands on way worked best for us. Also after the lesson I had activity stations set up kids could choose art, christian video, puzzles or games. As far as help goes some people are not cut out to work with kids. My best help came from teens that wanted to help and were sceduled only once per month. I hope these are things that will help . I will pray for you.God bless
joy



French100 -> RE: Children's Ministry HELP!! (10/5/2008 10:07:21 PM)

Hey, - congrats and God bless you in your wilingness to do this ministry! Its a rewarding and likewise stressful ministry but to God be the glory!!

I am currently the youth/children's director at our church - lots of experience working with kids and I am an el ed major. Now does that mean I know it all - ABSOLUTELY NOT! Cuz I guarantee you when you got something you think that the kids are going to be enamored with - they got ideas of their own. We are revamping our sunday night kids program as we speak. In the five years that I have gotten the incredible opportunity to work with the children at our church, can I offer you some things that have benefited not only our sunday night program but our wed/ children's church as well?

First - give em something to do as soon as they walk in the door - unattended kids will get really really unruly and the quicker you can get them focused - the quicker they settle down.

Get some help. ADD kids can be a handful. The cool thing is that if you get a few adults to help you - let those adults sit in the middle of the kids and "handle" the ADD ones. If they can keep them settled in and not disturbing the rest then you have over come part of the struggle. The problem with ADD kids is that they don't have the capacity to "settle" down. Don't become discouraged at that. Look at it from a different point of view and think - How can I keep them from unsettling the rest? Even if it means you give them something to keep their hands busy as you teach. (playdough is perfect) and you will be amazed at what they are capable of soaking in as they keep their hands busy!

The more active you can keep them the better - give them a energizing activity at first - this helps get their energy out and they'll be more apt to listen to you. In my children's church group we "get our wiggles out" (its 2 - 4 yr olds) and they stand and dance around - the I remind them that they are now ready to sit and listen to the story. Works like a charm. They are kids - let em be kids - just use it to your advantage. Plus - if you do this - you are going to have older ones tha tdon't want to do it - let them be "helpers" with the little ones. Give them a bigger purpose.

And..Always have a "vault" of little activities that you can change up and use regardless of your lesson. If something doesn't work - switch gears and try something else.

Good luck to you! And God bless you! May He bless your ministry beyond blessings!!



timothycrew -> RE: Children's Ministry HELP!! (10/6/2008 4:52:13 AM)

Pastor,will need help from the people,to provide the general things which is necessary in their ministry.
Interested people can give their money to ministry.
_________________________
Compra Condizionatori fissi
Aesthetic Plastic Surgery



emjayzee -> RE: Children's Ministry HELP!! (10/6/2008 12:49:05 PM)

What is the age range of your regular attenders? We had a similar class (preschool-5th grade) for a long time, but most of our kids were on the younger end of the scale, with only 1 or 2 older kids. We employed the older kids as helpers. The teacher would meet with the 1 or 2 helpers for a few minutes before class to go over the schedule and assign them parts to lead (prayer, songs, bible story, etc.). We would generally sing a few songs, review last week, do the new lesson, then do a craft or activity based on the lesson.

We used these great devo books that were A-Z of the bible. There were two, Old and New Testament. With these, we could either do both lessons for a letter in one week if the activities were short, or do one each week, or just pick one if the other one seemed too much or too little. There were some really cool activities, too, like using vegetable oil to make lamps. We usually printed out coloring pages that related to each lesson as back-up/filler, too.



Tea-Tea -> RE: Children's Ministry HELP!! (10/7/2008 10:02:33 AM)

Our age range is 3 to 6th grade. Most of them are 3-5 grade. We have one 6th grader...I may let him be a helper. He's one of my more challenging students and he would probably do better in that capacity. Thanks for the idea!

We took the kids to a "family crusade" where they had puppets, a ventriloquist, and some sign/dance. It was awesome! We had 4 kids go and 4 adults (I recruited parents...yay me! LOL). The kids are still talking about it! I just wish more could come.

I'm calling one of the parents today to see if she could be an alternate and come once a month during business meeting (my regular helper has to be in business meeting every month). I feel like this parent will do it and will be a big help.



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