The Bathroom Door (Full Version)

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catlady11 -> The Bathroom Door (8/29/2008 10:16:46 AM)

This morning my dh of 3 weeks asked me why I lock the bathroom door in the morning when I shower. I asked him how did he know it was locked - well, that answered my question. The reason I lock it is that he keeps later hours than I do so I keep later hours and wake up with just enough time to shower and dress before I go to work and I don't want any "interruptions". Does any other married folks lock the bathroom door?



Christian30 -> RE: The Bathroom Door (8/29/2008 10:22:22 AM)

We do not, but I don't think it's a big deal if you do. You might talk out the reasons and come to some understandings. I don't know how your bathroom is arranged, but it might cause him practical inconvenience (in his mind would be unnecessary inconvenience) if it's locked. He probably just thinks it is an odd gesture since you are married, but perhaps you have a need for privacy that he could understand too.



manda59 -> RE: The Bathroom Door (8/29/2008 10:30:42 AM)

No neither of lock the bathroom door. If either of us want privacy, we close the door, that's all.

I'm actually curious about why you lock it, it does seem a bit odd to me - if you don't want any interruptions, can't you just tell him so?



SurpassingPeace -> RE: The Bathroom Door (8/29/2008 10:42:35 AM)

We don't lock the bathroom door. In fact, it is often wide open. We talk while we are getting ready, as long as everyone has had a little coffee. We are both fairly busy and we like to coordinate our schedules/day/keep up on anything the other one needs to know for the day, etc. It is just a way for us to touch base with each other.

I am also curious why you need to lock the door instead of just telling him upfront you need that time alone.



catlady11 -> RE: The Bathroom Door (8/29/2008 10:42:55 AM)

the interruptions I'm talking about is when he is feeling "frisky" while I'm in a hurry to get to work. Once we get started I will never make it into work on time. on weekends and when i'm not in a hurry I do not lock the door.



Christian30 -> RE: The Bathroom Door (8/29/2008 10:54:16 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: catlady11

the interruptions I'm talking about is when he is feeling "frisky" while I'm in a hurry to get to work. Once we get started I will never make it into work on time. on weekends and when i'm not in a hurry I do not lock the door.


You will just have to tell him that this time of the day does not work well for you in this way. Don't make him second guess by locking the door. You MUST communicate your needs in this and other areas. I know that matters of intimacy can be more challenging in communication. This is just a part of growing and adjusting in marriage. What he is doing in the morning is just normal too, but you can set boundaries graciously.



csl7037 -> RE: The Bathroom Door (8/29/2008 11:10:17 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Christian30

quote:

ORIGINAL: catlady11

the interruptions I'm talking about is when he is feeling "frisky" while I'm in a hurry to get to work. Once we get started I will never make it into work on time. on weekends and when i'm not in a hurry I do not lock the door.


You will just have to tell him that this time of the day does not work well for you in this way. Don't make him second guess by locking the door. You MUST communicate your needs in this and other areas. I know that matters of intimacy can be more challenging in communication. This is just a part of growing and adjusting in marriage. What he is doing in the morning is just normal too, but you can set boundaries graciously.


I agree. Locking the door isn't necessarily the right way to communicate this.



DaveW -> RE: The Bathroom Door (8/29/2008 11:18:20 AM)

We do not lock it but we had an agreement a long time ago to not be in the bathroom while the other was in there doing their stuff. Often the door is open and we talk, we just are not in there together.



manda59 -> RE: The Bathroom Door (8/29/2008 12:03:58 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Christian30
quote:

ORIGINAL: catlady11
the interruptions I'm talking about is when he is feeling "frisky" while I'm in a hurry to get to work. Once we get started I will never make it into work on time. on weekends and when i'm not in a hurry I do not lock the door.

You will just have to tell him that this time of the day does not work well for you in this way. Don't make him second guess by locking the door. You MUST communicate your needs in this and other areas. I know that matters of intimacy can be more challenging in communication. This is just a part of growing and adjusting in marriage. What he is doing in the morning is just normal too, but you can set boundaries graciously.




[sm=thumbsup.gif][sm=thumbsup.gif][sm=thumbsup.gif] What Christian30 said.



abiggans -> RE: The Bathroom Door (8/29/2008 12:23:33 PM)

HA, we don't even have a door on our bathroom right now...we are remodeling [:)]

So, my answer would be NO we don't lock the door. We often are in the bathroom and shower together.

I could understand not wanting a "frisky" hubby slowing you down if you are in a hurry being. But that is something you just need to talk to him about. He should respect you enough to allow you to get ready for work and wait for you to get home [;)]



buckifn -> RE: The Bathroom Door (8/29/2008 12:35:56 PM)

no we have 3 to choose from and don't lock the doors. However it sounds like your issues are communication and your husbands sexual needs. Those 2 things are far too important to avoid discussing.



catlady11 -> RE: The Bathroom Door (8/29/2008 12:40:21 PM)

Just to set the record straight - this is NOT an issue between me and my husband. I was just curious about other married couples when it comes to locking bathroom doors - I wasn't looking for advice - although many helpful points were brought up.



Memaw. -> RE: The Bathroom Door (8/29/2008 12:47:10 PM)

There are times I lock the door, and other times it is wide open.

Our DD seems to think the best time to talk to me is when I am in there, so if she's home and I go, it gets locked.[;)]



flowerz -> RE: The Bathroom Door (8/29/2008 1:16:26 PM)

I lock the door, but then we have kids, so that's different.



karlie -> RE: The Bathroom Door (8/29/2008 1:24:17 PM)

quote:

I'm actually curious about why you lock it, it does seem a bit odd to me -

I don't see what's odd about that. A shut bathroom door (in the master bathroom) doesn't always mean we want privacy. We close the bathroom door for various reasons that have nothing to do with privacy, like keeping the steam in for a hot shower, keeping the noise to a minimum while one of us is still sleeping and the other getting ready, keeping the light in the bathroom from disturbing the other in the early morning hours. If the door to our master bathroom is closed, but unlocked, we are free to go in and share the bathroom. If we want the bathroom to ourselves for a few minutes, we lock the door.



kohls356 -> RE: The Bathroom Door (8/29/2008 3:03:42 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: karlie

quote:

I'm actually curious about why you lock it, it does seem a bit odd to me -

I don't see what's odd about that. A shut bathroom door (in the master bathroom) doesn't always mean we want privacy. We close the bathroom door for various reasons that have nothing to do with privacy, like keeping the steam in for a hot shower, keeping the noise to a minimum while one of us is still sleeping and the other getting ready, keeping the light in the bathroom from disturbing the other in the early morning hours. If the door to our master bathroom is closed, but unlocked, we are free to go in and share the bathroom. If we want the bathroom to ourselves for a few minutes, we lock the door.


This is the way we do things. I do not think locking the door to the bathroom is odd at all. There are just certain um bodily functions and womanly things to take care of that I don't want to be walked in on. Nothing odd, normal taking care of things. He also locks the door for some things as well.

If I need to use the bathroom I don't want to have to wonder around looking for my husband to tell him not to come in the bathroom. I never thought anything about the bathroom door being locked.

I would say it is best though to just let him know that mornings are busy for you and not a good time so to please not disturb you. He hopefully should understand.



MC4JC -> RE: The Bathroom Door (8/29/2008 7:52:11 PM)

Just the two of us (no kids anymore), so we don't lock or close the door for the most part (never lock it). We might close it sometimes.

The dog and cats like to open it when we are taking baths.



artemis -> RE: The Bathroom Door (8/29/2008 10:02:59 PM)

I always close and lock the door, even if I'm the only one in the house. What if a burglar breaks in and walks in on me in the bathroom??? [8D]

(I grew up with 5 brothers and I feel weird not locking the door)



hartslove -> RE: The Bathroom Door (8/30/2008 1:32:47 AM)

We rarely lock the bathroom door. I especially wouldn't lock it if I was home alone, because what if I slipped or had some emergency? I'd want my someone to be able to help me quickly. (my husband fell once when the tension curtain rod came down and the nearby towel rack broke under his weight when he grabbed for it)

When we first got married, he used to irritate me by bursting in all huffy (with impatience) to complain or ask me where I put something. He's calmed down a lot, and he also respects my privacy. I don't mind all that much if he needs to come in to retrieve an item or something, but I do prefer some privacy.

If I really need privacy I may lock the door for just a little while, especially if my 3 yr old son is being extra playful. But if we're home (son and I) alone, I leave the door slightly cracked because I need to hear what's going on.



TorchHeart -> RE: The Bathroom Door (8/30/2008 2:28:25 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: catlady11

Does any other married folks lock the bathroom door?


I'm surprised that anyone DOESN'T lock the bathroom door. Although, I shouldn't be because my wife doesn't usually. I always lock it. I grew up in a house with a lot of people who would just walk right in on you if it wasn't, so it became a habit growing up.



josie423 -> RE: The Bathroom Door (8/30/2008 8:25:47 AM)

We never lock the door. When its closed, we respect eachother's privacy. Works for us. My husband didn't realize until recently that the bathroom door had a lock. [8|]



stellaluna -> RE: The Bathroom Door (8/30/2008 10:40:46 AM)

We don't lock the door. In fact, it's rarely closed at all. (Actually, I'm not sure if our bathroom door locks! [8D])



Consecrated2God -> RE: The Bathroom Door (8/30/2008 11:36:17 AM)

I will only lock the door if I don't want anyone walking on me, but showering isn't something I mind being walked in on. We usually shower together, anyway.



hnt -> RE: The Bathroom Door (8/30/2008 3:26:38 PM)

I have been known to lock the door myself. I don't do it all the time, but there are times in which I do. I don't see anything wrong with it.

If you have asked him to please leave you be in the morning, and he comes in anyway.....lol I can see why you lock the door! [:D] If you haven't mentioned it to him, and he seems bothered by it mention it and see if he respects that. Some people truly don't think about it until someone mentions it. lol even if you have mentioned that they make you late for work - he may think that doesn't bother you considering! [;)]

There have been days in which I just needed to unwind, and stand there is the hot shower. I didn't want noise, and I wanted my mind to clear. It renews my batteries at times. I lock the door to make sure it happens!



DreadPirateRandy -> RE: The Bathroom Door (8/30/2008 7:25:53 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: buckifn

However it sounds like your issues are communication and your husbands sexual needs. Those 2 things are far too important to avoid discussing.


Absolutely.

I would probably get annoyed at a locked door, mainly because it's capable of sending the wrong signal, as it is in this case. You can simply just tell your husband that you have a certain time to be somewhere and that during this duration, you require your time to get things done. A respectful husband would understand.

Communication is becoming a lost art in terms of relationships.



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