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RE: Where did we get the idea... - 9/13/2008 3:41:44 PM
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DreadPirateRandy
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quote:
ORIGINAL: broyce1981
1 Corinthians 7:39 NASB
"A wife is bound as long as her husband lives; but if her husband is dead, she is free to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord."
This seems pretty clear to me that there is not only one person for us.
When you're bound by marriage, there is certainly not "another".
Just like everyone isn't called to marry, not everyone will be called to remarry. The one you're with now could most certainly be "the one" you will be with for the rest of your life.
I quite like the idea of having just one all to myself.
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The lunatic, the lover, and the poet, are of imagination all compact.
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RE: Where did we get the idea... - 9/13/2008 3:52:06 PM
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iwillfearnoevil
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quote:
ORIGINAL: DreadPirateRandy
When you're bound by marriage, there is certainly not "another".
Just like everyone isn't called to marry, not everyone will be called to remarry. The one you're with now could most certainly be "the one" you will be with for the rest of your life.
I quite like the idea of having just one all to myself.
so now you saying God has one for some people and more than one for others?
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RE: Where did we get the idea... - 9/13/2008 4:24:57 PM
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makarizo
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"God told me that you are the one"
has been spoken to me by 7 different women that I can think of off the top of my head.
I don't believe in that type of mysticism, .... it seems to be soooo present, sooo ubiquitous here at CW, that when I see it, I just choose to ignore it.
I don't want to end up with a wife like Gomer...... that seems to be the biblical example of God picking out a wife for someone.
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RE: Where did we get the idea... - 9/13/2008 4:34:33 PM
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DreadPirateRandy
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If you're putting words in my mouth, yes, that is what I'm saying.
If one chooses to remarry, then that doesn't necessarily mean that he/she is the second coming of "the one". I, for one, don't really believe in the idea of remarrying, but that's another thread.
I believe God answered my prayers and revealed to me "the one" in which He chose best for me according to the desires of my heart. In His word, He said He would listen to those desires and meet them according to His will, so I have no reason to doubt that He blessed me with someone that I'm most compatible with. Someone with qualities that I wouldn't find in anyone else that best suits the person I am and the person I am to be with her.
_____________________________
The lunatic, the lover, and the poet, are of imagination all compact.
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RE: Where did we get the idea... - 9/13/2008 4:41:42 PM
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makarizo
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quote:
I believe God answered my prayers and revealed to me "the one" in which He chose best for me according to the desires of my heart.
sounds more like emotional hype....it just feels so right, God musta told me it was.
that is just my opinion, but if she isn't the one, or you are not her "one", don't blame God.
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RE: Where did we get the idea... - 9/13/2008 8:17:45 PM
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iwillfearnoevil
Posts: 4170
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quote:
ORIGINAL: DreadPirateRandy
If you're putting words in my mouth, yes, that is what I'm saying.
If one chooses to remarry, then that doesn't necessarily mean that he/she is the second coming of "the one". I, for one, don't really believe in the idea of remarrying, but that's another thread.
I believe God answered my prayers and revealed to me "the one" in which He chose best for me according to the desires of my heart. In His word, He said He would listen to those desires and meet them according to His will, so I have no reason to doubt that He blessed me with someone that I'm most compatible with. Someone with qualities that I wouldn't find in anyone else that best suits the person I am and the person I am to be with her.
i'm not questioning what God told you. i was trying to get your opinion on the subject in general as it seems people posting 'yes, there is only one' are using personal examples rather than talking generally.
i found this at boundless, it's a pretty good singles site, and i think we'll all agree with the conclusion here:
It's tempting to think there's one perfect man — a "soul mate" — for each of us. It's certainly a romantic ideal, but not very practical. And this ideal carries a host of dangers; the most obvious being that if you think you've found "the one," how do you explain the difficult times that arise — and they will — after you say "I do"? Even perfectly matched couples will encounter trials in their relationship. The Bible promises as much.
The answer to the question is there just one? remains a mystery. But you can know for certain that once you are married, whomever you've wed becomes the one. At that point you are committed for life. Period.
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RE: Where did we get the idea... - 9/14/2008 12:27:46 AM
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humbleinspirit
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That reminds me of this scripture:
Genesis 2:24
"For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh."
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RE: Where did we get the idea... - 9/14/2008 10:31:16 PM
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DrivenbyGod
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quote:
quote:
ORIGINAL: Prairiehiker
..that God has a very specific person in mind for us?
God knows our heart. He knows our desires. He said He would meet those desires according to His will.
Why wouldn't He have a specific person in line for you if it is His will?
I know for a fact that God specifically chose someone to fit with me so perfectly. I don't believe another person on earth would be as compatible as the one He had for me. Obviously, God knew that before He put us together. I call her my "other half" for a reason.
I can speak from experience that it isn't hyperbole. Take it for what you will.
I agree with DPR. I sure hope Gods hand will be involved in bringing the right woman to me, because I may not choose the right one otherwise.
I have to believe there must be one woman that is best suited for me, but with all the people in the world; the only way I'm going to meet her is if God can work some miracles on my behalf.
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RE: Where did we get the idea... - 9/15/2008 11:21:15 AM
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OneJohn410
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Prairiehiker
..that God has a very specific person in mind for us? It's been thrown around the forum so often. For the longest time, I always believed that we are to practice making wise decision making when it comes to choosing a mate, but I never heard that idea that God has already chosen a mate for us. What verses do you guys base this belief on? Just curious.
I'd be the last to think I could better state this than what may have already been stated, but I've gone and said it even then, so here goes.
My idea of God having chosen a mate for me is not specifically that Ms. Ima Christian (that's her name) is she. I'm not to say she isn't, either. Making wise decisions about who we spend time with, and prayerfully asking God to show us about ourselves where we are weak in testifying to others about His love for us, and where we are strong and others appreciate our strength in our testimony- to me that needs to be more and more a practice in considering possibly marrying someone one day. Some of the most joyful couples I know love each other and are active in their Christian community- and they have a love for God, for Christ, as a first priority. And each other build on that, and build up one another on that. They may well 'complete one another', and not be able to dream of being apart from each other, and they usually are not in the mightiest of castles, driving dream macines. Yet they will both likely share that they were not praying for each other to one day say yes or propose to each other, only that God would reveal someone to them that would complete their joy in life for as long as was possible, that she or he might bring all the more praise to the Lord for His goodness.
For me, if my next crush goes the distance, I'm hoping I don't just feel like I want to spend the rest of my life getting to know her because she is just so wow! that I would feel my life empty without her. I'm hoping she's more of a Wow! Look at what she's teaching me about God, and about life and relating to others.
Blessings, All,
OneJohn410
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The Lord is my strength and shield. I trust Him with all my heart. He helps me, and my heart is filled with joy. I burst out in songs of thanksgiving. Psalm 28:7
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RE: Where did we get the idea... - 9/15/2008 6:19:28 PM
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DreadPirateRandy
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quote:
ORIGINAL: makarizo
sounds more like emotional hype....it just feels so right, God musta told me it was.
No, it isn't.
In fact, I prayed God would remove all feelings if they weren't right. I wouldn't allow myself to pursue anything unless I had the assurance it was His will.
This didn't happen overnight. It took months of ceaseless praying and trusting.
quote:
that is just my opinion, but if she isn't the one, or you are not her "one", don't blame God.
I have nothing to blame God for.
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RE: Where did we get the idea... - 9/15/2008 6:32:44 PM
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DreadPirateRandy
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quote:
ORIGINAL: iwillfearnoevil
Even perfectly matched couples will encounter trials in their relationship. The Bible promises as much.
I know this to be true. I hope I wasn't giving off the image that though I believe she is "the one" that our relationship will never be dragged into trials and tribulation along the way.
We have difficult times even now, but we're able to communicate through them. I don't necessarily believe that a marriage must suffer on behalf of those tough situations. If anything, getting through it should build a relationship that much stronger. Pending if the individuals involved are willing to cooperate through it, of course.
quote:
But you can know for certain that once you are married, whomever you've wed becomes the one. At that point you are committed for life. Period.
Agreed.
_____________________________
The lunatic, the lover, and the poet, are of imagination all compact.
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RE: Where did we get the idea... - 9/15/2008 7:20:16 PM
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John_O
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quote:
ORIGINAL: DrivenbyGod
I agree with DPR. I sure hope Gods hand will be involved in bringing the right woman to me, because I may not choose the right one otherwise.
I have to believe there must be one woman that is best suited for me, but with all the people in the world; the only way I'm going to meet her is if God can work some miracles on my behalf.
Once you say "I do" you can rest assured that you chose the right one. God makes you one. The rest is up to you.
_____________________________
Psalms 46:10 Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.
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RE: Where did we get the idea... - 9/15/2008 7:31:24 PM
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John_O
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quote:
ORIGINAL: OneJohn410
For me, if my next crush goes the distance, I'm hoping I don't just feel like I want to spend the rest of my life getting to know her because she is just so wow! that I would feel my life empty without her. I'm hoping she's more of a Wow! Look at what she's teaching me about God, and about life and relating to others.
Why shouldn't you have both?
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Psalms 46:10 Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.
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RE: Where did we get the idea... - 9/15/2008 7:39:59 PM
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Prairiehiker
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quote:
Why shouldn't you have both?
I'm asking the same thing. I think if you are to be one with someone, but you don't have that "wow" feeling, chances are, you're in for a miserable marriage. Just because someone is a Christ follower and she/he complements your strength and weakness in your Christian walk, it doesn't mean that you would make a great couple. There has to be that certain something that makes you light up when that person walks into the room, and being a Christian doesn't mean that they automatically turn that switch on for you.
My question is really, why do so many people believe that we throw away our ability to make judgments when it comes to choosing a person we're going to spend the rest of our earthly life when God gave us mental faculties to think these things through. Perhaps, we learn and grow if we use these abilities that God gave us.
_____________________________
O Lord my God, When I in awesome wonder,
Consider all the worlds Thy Hands have made;
Then sings my soul, my Saviour God to Thee
How great Thou art, How great Thou art.
<<<dogsledding at the Canadian Rockies
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RE: Where did we get the idea... - 9/15/2008 8:18:27 PM
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John_O
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Prairiehiker
quote:
Why shouldn't you have both?
I'm asking the same thing. I think if you are to be one with someone, but you don't have that "wow" feeling, chances are, you're in for a miserable marriage. Just because someone is a Christ follower and she/he complements your strength and weakness in your Christian walk, it doesn't mean that you would make a great couple. There has to be that certain something that makes you light up when that person walks into the room, and being a Christian doesn't mean that they automatically turn that switch on for you.
My question is really, why do so many people believe that we throw away our ability to make judgments when it comes to choosing a person we're going to spend the rest of our earthly life when God gave us mental faculties to think these things through. Perhaps, we learn and grow if we use these abilities that God gave us.
Great post!
God has given us feelings and intellect. If we are going totally on emotions we may be choosing wrongly. If we are going totally on intellect we may also be choosing wrongly.
We all know people who fell head over heels in love and married some one on the spur of the moment and was miserable. Then we also probably know people who judged totally on intellect and married some one they didn't love and was miserable.
We have to choose with both our heads and our hearts. God gave us both to use.
_____________________________
Psalms 46:10 Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.
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RE: Where did we get the idea... - 9/15/2008 11:05:44 PM
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joy2give2u
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quote:
We have to choose with both our heads and our hearts. God gave us both to use. May I adjut your statement slightly?
There are many, who are not Christians, who marry based on emotions and/or intellect. Some are very happy and one with their spouse because God's laws, when applied to marriage, work whether the two are Christians or not......
The bible also says we are not be guided by our emotions nor by our intellect........We are to utilize these because God gave them to us but He is very clear who is to be our guide.
So I would change your statement to include four not two.
We have to chose using both our emotions and our intellect while being lead by the Holy Spirit with a commitment to function under God's laws for marriage.
I am one who chooses to let the Holy spirit select my spouse by engaging my emotions and intellect, while at the same time teaching me how to walk in relationships with others while single, as I am lead by the Spirit towards the man I will marry.
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Transformation happens NOT when we get through scripture BUT when scripture gets through Us
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RE: Where did we get the idea... - 9/16/2008 7:29:32 AM
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John_O
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quote:
ORIGINAL: joy2give2u
We have to chose using both our emotions and our intellect while being lead by the Holy Spirit with a commitment to function under God's laws for marriage.
This is correct. Good post Joy (I assume everyone would know the last two as this is a Christian forum but I've gotten in trouble before for not being precise. Thank you)
Let me further add that a good marriage can be built between almost any two people. There are some people who fit OK and there are some people who fit incredibly well. And when you find some one who fits incredibly well it can be spectacular!
(This is not to say there is only "one" however)
_____________________________
Psalms 46:10 Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.
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RE: Where did we get the idea... - 9/16/2008 4:54:51 PM
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vikingfan
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I'm pondering this question because right now, I am just attempting to build different relationships with different ladies based in Christ, and I am not sure which if any God has for me, so I just attempt to make it clear to them that I am waiting for God's direction. God has made it clear to me in other areas of my life which path I was supposed to take.
So I guess my answer to this would be, whatever God indicates to you in prayer and His Word and other counselors (such as parents). Sometimes God may leave the choice entirely up to us, other times, He knows the other person(s) better than we do and indicates a different way.
I just know that this decision is so important that I need God to help me pick the right girl.
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RE: Where did we get the idea... - 9/16/2008 6:48:08 PM
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joy2give2u
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The reason I feel it is so very important to depend more on the Lord then our own emotions and intellect is because he never changes. Our emotions and even our intellect does.........and so will the other persons.......
I can't see the future. I don't know who I will be 10, 15, 30 years from now but God does......just as he knows who so and so will be 30 years from now.
I believe God will chose the man for me who matches "my list" today, tomorrow and till death do us part........My emotions and intellect can give me clues but they have too many variables and are too dependent on who I am today........I am limited by who I am today......God is not.
_____________________________
Transformation happens NOT when we get through scripture BUT when scripture gets through Us
My Smiles
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RE: Where did we get the idea... - 9/16/2008 11:58:07 PM
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John_O
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True joy but you marry the person who meets your needs today and then you grow together through the years. Even when God brings someone to us we have to do our part and choose to be with them. If they match your list, and you match their list, and you have lots in common, and you're incredibly attracted to each other, and you both believe in working 100% on the marriage, then you had better grab them while you can. Intellect and emotion say yes. (And I consider it a miracle when two people match so well so I think God says yes too)
_____________________________
Psalms 46:10 Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.
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RE: Where did we get the idea... - 9/17/2008 8:19:54 AM
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Prairiehiker
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quote:
ORIGINAL: John_O
True joy but you marry the person who meets your needs today and then you grow together through the years. Even when God brings someone to us we have to do our part and choose to be with them. If they match your list, and you match their list, and you have lots in common, and you're incredibly attracted to each other, and you both believe in working 100% on the marriage, then you had better grab them while you can. Intellect and emotion say yes. (And I consider it a miracle when two people match so well so I think God says yes too)
This is what I believe also. I know someone whom I connect with in every level-emotionally, mentally, physically, spiritually. We both met each other’s list in 90 % of them. But because we are sinful people, our judgment when it comes to seeing how good we truly are for each other has been impaired. I can say, well, it’s not in God’s will as an excuse not to pursue or not to work hard at making it work. But what it really boils down to is two people who’s been looking for the right person, and God has brought us into each other’s path way before we even met. Again, the sin in our lives had made it very hard to recognize that God is nudging us to make that decision to pursue each other. Not only our sin, but the sin of the people we’ve been involved with all our lives, has greatly affected both of us.
So, I’m thinking, before the fall, God created Eve for Adam, and he knew her right away. He recognized her right away. But after the fall, God told Adam that he’d have to work hard for everything. That goes with finding the right person to be your helpmeet. God will guide you, but you still have to be able to recognized it when it’d God. And for that to happen, you have to be really walking with the Spirit as your guide. And the list….that list is important.
At this point, maybe if I linger on too long waiting for things to happen with this man, I might not recognize that God has brought another person in my life that has potential. Again, judgement, decision making, walking in the spirit...those all would help in finding the person that would be good for me. God can only bring them to my path. And I'm sure they don't come with the label "PH's husband to be".
_____________________________
O Lord my God, When I in awesome wonder,
Consider all the worlds Thy Hands have made;
Then sings my soul, my Saviour God to Thee
How great Thou art, How great Thou art.
<<<dogsledding at the Canadian Rockies
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RE: Where did we get the idea... - 9/17/2008 6:19:35 PM
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joy2give2u
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quote:
So, I’m thinking, before the fall, God created Eve for Adam, and he knew her right away. He recognized her right away. But after the fall, God told Adam that he’d have to work hard for everything. That goes with finding the right person to be your helpmeet. God will guide you, but you still have to be able to recognize it when it’d God. And for that to happen, you have to be really walking with the Spirit as your guide. And the list….that list is important. Actually the bible does not say he "knew" her until after the fall......before the fall it says she was brought, by God, to the man and he recognized she was a part of who he use to be......very interesting......I think there is more here then what we or at least I might be seeing right now.......
I realize the "knew" lead to a child so we grasp what type of knowing is implied but was that the only knowing.......Is it possible it was only then that Adam really began to know his wife? Is it possible before that, Adam and Eve, were so close and intimate with the Lord, walking with Him, that the other seemed more a part of a whole and not two halves?
Adam is asleep (goodness I wonder how many men today are asleep?) he wakes up and then God brings Eve to him........Interesting.......very interesting.......
I also find it interesting..... God says it is not good for Adam to be alone.......note Adam doesn't say this.....God does........did Adam even realize he it was not good for him to be alone?
God forms every living creature and then he broughtthem to Adam to see what he would name them........very, very interesting .......
No where does it seem Adam had a list detailing what he was looking for..........but God brought to him all these possibilities and waited to see what name Adam would give them......again interesting.......especially consider the same thing happens with the woman........she is formed, but this time from Adam, and brought before Adam to name.......when he sees her he recognizes she is a part of who he use to be......that a part of him is in her......so he gives her the name woman.......and the two halves put together make what was once one.......
I am finding this all very interesting.......Adam did not have a list, because if he had, then God would have gone ahead and made the woman exactly as the list dictated and be done with it......boy would it be a boring planet with only humans and no animals........but since Adam did not have a list and God wanted to give him the choice by presenting options to him.......he created animals and let Adam name them.......Until Adam saw the woman he did not know who/what he was looking for....actually he wasn't even looking but instead was busy doing as the Lord had instructed him.........Yet as soon as God brought Eve to him he knew....he knew what her name would be because he knew she part of him.......he named her only after he met her.......
Does anyone else see what I am seeing? That he named her only after he met her.......I see no list.......or even him going through the animals and saying......no this animal or that one is not right.......I don't see him saying......Hey God if you think it is not good for me to be alone.....and I happen to agree......I need this , this and this in order for it to be good........Nope I see Adam busy getting to know each animal well enough that he could give them a name........based on who they are......and then after a nice sleep God brings him another living being to name......and this time he sees a part of himself in her......he doesn't check off his list to make sure she meets his criteria.....he didn't even know God had taken some of him while he was asleep.......all he knows is that she is bone of his bone and flesh of his flesh........it is not a list.......he did not check her off against his list.......no he saw the person God brought and added her to his name........he called her wo.....(what does wo mean?) and added his name......man.......she had a separate name yet the name was his name as well......(wow kind of makes taking your husbands name more meaningful)......
After the fall things which happened before the fall became a curse......they became harder because they were taken out of God's hands and placed in our own...things are always harder when we do them with out own hands......while seeing them through our own eyes.
I can't help but wonder........do we think finding a mate is in our own hands because we still function under the curse? Is it possible that we too can put things completely back in God's hands and act as Adam did before he named Eve?
I think of Adam going about his task......the one assigned by God......that of naming every living creature.......I think of him seeing the woman and in obedience to the task he is doing gives her a name.......How surprising that must have been for him.......to be going along naming names, busy taking care of the garden as God had instructed him not even realizing God had done something while he was asleep.......how did he feel when he went to name the next living creature and discovered she had the same name as he did plus some?
I think that is how God designed it to work........I think we are to be busy, in obedience to the Lord, doing the task he sets before us. I think we don't really know the name ( name being the list of things which make up someone’s identity)of the person we will marry until she/he is brought before us.
I think we meet lots of people, get to know them well enough that we know their name (not their birth name but the one God has given them) and one day God brings someone to us, as we get to know him or her, we begin to see that her/his name it is the same as ours.....and the man names her with the name God created her to have.
Just my thoughts......... 
_____________________________
Transformation happens NOT when we get through scripture BUT when scripture gets through Us
My Smiles
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RE: Where did we get the idea... - 9/17/2008 7:04:41 PM
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Prairiehiker
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Joy, I didn't the whole entire post because I have the attention span of a 2 year old. But are we in that dreaded "list" discussion.
Perhaps, he didn't' have a list because there was no option to choose from. Now that we have so many options, it's our responsibility to make the best choice possible for us....and that's where the list comes from. As I previously mentioned, part of my list is a man who is active and outdoorsy. If a man does not possess that quality, I won't recognize whether he's right for me or not, because, I won't even give him a second look.
Wisdom is knowing how to effectively use the knowledge that God has given us. I don't believe that people do not have a list when it comes to selecting a mate. It might be deep down in your subconscious, but it's there nonetheless.
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O Lord my God, When I in awesome wonder,
Consider all the worlds Thy Hands have made;
Then sings my soul, my Saviour God to Thee
How great Thou art, How great Thou art.
<<<dogsledding at the Canadian Rockies
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RE: Where did we get the idea... - 9/17/2008 7:32:40 PM
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John_O
Posts: 8028
Joined: 9/5/2006
Status: online
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quote:
ORIGINAL: joy2give2u
Actually the bible does not say he "knew" her until after the fall......before the fall it says she was brought, by God, to the man and he recognized she was a part of who he use to be......very interesting......I think there is more here then what we or at least I might be seeing right now.......
No he recognized that she was party of him. Not who he used to be but who he was now. Bone of my bones, flesh of my flesh.
quote:
I also find it interesting..... God says it is not good for Adam to be alone.......note Adam doesn't say this.....God does........did Adam even realize he it was not good for him to be alone?
He'd never been not alone, he had nothing to compare it to. But does it really matter if he knew? God knew and that is enough.
quote:
.especially consider the same thing happens with the woman........she is formed, but this time from Adam, and brought before Adam to name.......when he sees her he recognizes she is a part of who he use to be......that a part of him is in her......so he gives her the name woman.......and the two halves put together make what was once one.......
No the two people put together make something more than just the whole man.
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Nope I see Adam busy getting to know each animal well enough that he could give them a name........based on who they are
I don't see this at all. I see God bring Adam a four legged beast with udders and horns and Adam saying "Yup that's a cow!" Whole process took about 20 seconds or so. Nowhere does it say he got to know the animals (that would have been abomination)
......and then after a nice sleep God brings him another living being to name......and this time he sees a part of himself in her......he doesn't check off his list to make sure she meets his criteria.....he didn't even know God had taken some of him while he was asleep.......all he knows is that she is bone of his bone and flesh of his flesh........it is not a list.......he did not check her off against his list.......no he saw the person God brought and added her to his name........he called her wo.....(what does wo mean?) and added his name......man.......she had a separate name yet the name was his name as well......(wow kind of makes taking your husbands name more meaningful)......
After the fall things which happened before the fall became a curse......they became harder because they were taken out of God's hands and placed in our own...things are always harder when we do them with out own hands......while seeing them through our own eyes.
I can't help but wonder........do we think finding a mate is in our own hands because we still function under the curse? Is it possible that we too can put things completely back in God's hands and act as Adam did before he named Eve?
I think of Adam going about his task......the one assigned by God......that of naming every living creature.......I think of him seeing the woman and in obedience to the task he is doing gives her a name.......How surprising that must have been for him.......to be going along naming names, busy taking care of the garden as God had instructed him not even realizing God had done something while he was asleep.......how did he feel when he went to name the next living creature and discovered she had the same name as he did plus some?
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I think that is how God designed it to work........I think we are to be busy, in obedience to the Lord, doing the task he sets before us. I think we don't really know the name ( name being the list of things which make up someone’s identity)of the person we will marry until she/he is brought before us.
Adam had only one choice. Eve was designed to be exactly perfect for Adam. Guess what. Every man is not Adam and every woman is not Eve. We need to search to find who is perfect for us and in order to do that it helps to know what we are looking for. And in order to do that we need to know ourselves well enough to know what we want.
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Psalms 46:10 Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.
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