Where did we get the idea... (Full Version)

All Forums >> [People] >> Singles



Message

Prairiehiker -> Where did we get the idea... (9/11/2008 9:50:07 PM)

..that God has a very specific person in mind for us? It's been thrown around the forum so often. For the longest time, I always believed that we are to practice making wise decision making when it comes to choosing a mate, but I never heard that idea that God has already chosen a mate for us. What verses do you guys base this belief on? Just curious.



LabGuy -> RE: Where did we get the idea... (9/11/2008 10:05:21 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Prairiehiker

..that God has a very specific person in mind for us? It's been thrown around the forum so often. For the longest time, I always believed that we are to practice making wise decision making when it comes to choosing a mate, but I never heard that idea that God has already chosen a mate for us. What verses do you guys base this belief on? Just curious.


Probably a mixture of things. Popular culture definitely plays a role (i.e. romantic movies). Biblically, some may point to the story of Isaac and Rebekah. (I know you read Garry Friesen's book, so you know how he "debunks" that one as "non-normative".) Some may just have a weird understanding of predestination.

Short of hanging your hat on Isaac and Rebekah, I don't think there's any explicit Biblical support for the idea.

-Robb



Grace-N-Mercy -> RE: Where did we get the idea... (9/11/2008 10:13:27 PM)

I've never found any support for the idea that God has only one person in mind for us. What if we miss meeting that person? How are we to know s/he is That One? Oh, the pressure that could bring!!

Where does it come from? I'm not sure, but I remember hearing that while I was growing up. "God has one specific person for you, and he's waiting for you" I think it comes from the fact that God knows the future. He knows ahead of time who we will choose, but He still has to put the choices in front of us. I know that He does make these "arrangements" because it's when I'm praying the most fervently that I will meet the most guys... and it takes me by surprise every time!! [:D]

We should stop looking for "signs" that s/he is "The One" and focus instead on being "the one" for someone else by getting ourselves ready for marriage. We generally need to meet a lot of people before we meet the one we've been dreaming of.



LabGuy -> RE: Where did we get the idea... (9/11/2008 10:29:11 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Grace-N-Mercy

We should stop looking for "signs" that s/he is "The One" and focus instead on being "the one" for someone else by getting ourselves ready for marriage. We generally need to meet a lot of people before we meet the one we've been dreaming of.


Yeah. Along those lines, I've often wondered if a major contributing factor to a lot of failed marriages is that people are going in more with the attitude "what do I get out of the relationship" instead of "what can I give to her/him"?

-Robb



sunluvingirl -> RE: Where did we get the idea... (9/11/2008 10:38:14 PM)

Very well said, Michelle! I definitely believe that although God does not necessarily have ONE picked out for us, He is still in control of even the small details of our lives and He uses those "arrangements" as you put it, as growing experiences for us.



rgod -> RE: Where did we get the idea... (9/12/2008 12:52:22 AM)

No - I don't think God has only one person for us. After all, why in the old testament would He have required widows to remarry the deceased husband's brother? Or why would Paul in the New Testament have written that the young widows should not be on the dole - but should instead remarry?

I think the whole "The One" thing is cultural. Yet it is interesting because I do think that way - and have thoughts like - "What is taking my husband so long?" Also, I think that we long to have marriages that we hear about - that are too far and in-between - the one where the husband and wife really are so in sync with eachother that they are soulmates. In American Christian culture, the first couple that comes to mind is Elizabeth and Jim Elliott. (Have you ever noticed that although Jim has been dead for decades (maybe 50 years now?), she continues to mention him - so much that I forget the other two husbands names - isn't one named Lars? He's got to be a very strong and secure man to hear this all of the time.)

Yet, in my rational mind, I personally think there are several "Ones" that God has for each person. I do believe in divine relationships (friendships, spouses).



DreadPirateRandy -> RE: Where did we get the idea... (9/12/2008 2:54:51 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Prairiehiker

..that God has a very specific person in mind for us?


God knows our heart. He knows our desires. He said He would meet those desires according to His will.

Why wouldn't He have a specific person in line for you if it is His will?

I know for a fact that God specifically chose someone to fit with me so perfectly. I don't believe another person on earth would be as compatible as the one He had for me. Obviously, God knew that before He put us together. I call her my "other half" for a reason.

I can speak from experience that it isn't hyperbole. Take it for what you will.



broyce1981 -> RE: Where did we get the idea... (9/12/2008 6:55:33 AM)

This notion that God has just one person for us is one that frustrates me enormously as a Christian. It sounds nice so that's why I think so many people believe it. They want to believe there's one person out there for them because it gives them hope and that's why a lot of people believe it I think.

I also know of couples who say God spoke to them that somebody is the one they are to marry. Most people hear that and assume it means that's who God chose for them. But it doesn't at all. God knows who we will marry ahead of time and is choosing to reveal that to people sometimes. Big difference!

Now for my frustrated string of smilies....[:@][:@][:@][:@][:@][:@]



Prairiehiker -> RE: Where did we get the idea... (9/12/2008 7:13:07 AM)

IT's one of those Christian pop culture ideas that frustrates me to no end as well (just like the idea that you only serve God when you're involved in church activities!). We hear so many things in our Christian circles and we make them our own without really thinking through it. I guess, to a degree, people feel good to place the responsibility on areas of their lives that they don't feel confident about, and they place the burden and responsibility on God. In reality, God wants us to grow, to learn, to gain knowledge and wisdom and to make our own decisions based on what we think His will is. To live so passively is not my idea of how God created us to be.

Gotta go get coffee. I'm still a zombie.



Tinkerbell_ -> RE: Where did we get the idea... (9/12/2008 8:13:15 AM)

If God already knows who we're going to marry then why can't we say there is ONE person out there for us? There is...there is ONE person out there that I am going to marry.

Something I always think of are my friends Al and Kim. Al was married and then his wife passed away. Soon after that Kim felt like he was the man she was going to marry. She didn't do anything but pray about it. Soon Al remarried. Kim still prayed. Then Al's new wife ran off and divorced him. Soon Kim and Al got married.

She had already known that she was going to marry Al; she just had to wait until Al knew it. [:)]



broyce1981 -> RE: Where did we get the idea... (9/12/2008 8:33:30 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Tinkerbell_

If God already knows who we're going to marry then why can't we say there is ONE person out there for us? There is...there is ONE person out there that I am going to marry.



I can't say that with certainty. What I can say is that there are at least ZERO people out there that I will marry. Hopefully it will be a number greater than zero but how can I know?



broyce1981 -> RE: Where did we get the idea... (9/12/2008 8:36:27 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LabGuy

quote:

ORIGINAL: Prairiehiker

..that God has a very specific person in mind for us? It's been thrown around the forum so often. For the longest time, I always believed that we are to practice making wise decision making when it comes to choosing a mate, but I never heard that idea that God has already chosen a mate for us. What verses do you guys base this belief on? Just curious.


Probably a mixture of things. Popular culture definitely plays a role (i.e. romantic movies). Biblically, some may point to the story of Isaac and Rebekah. (I know you read Garry Friesen's book, so you know how he "debunks" that one as "non-normative".) Some may just have a weird understanding of predestination.

Short of hanging your hat on Isaac and Rebekah, I don't think there's any explicit Biblical support for the idea.

-Robb


I've never read that book before actually. But anyone using the story of Isaac and Rebekah as proof that there's one specific person God chose for us is using some very bad hermeneutics!



raivyne -> RE: Where did we get the idea... (9/12/2008 9:04:52 AM)

I think God can bring people into our lives, but its up to people as to what becomes of these meetings.



iwillfearnoevil -> RE: Where did we get the idea... (9/12/2008 9:51:38 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Prairiehiker
..that God has a very specific person in mind for us? It's been thrown around the forum so often.

i think in passing, some people say, 'God has someone out there for you' for encouragement purposes, etc but usually when it's brought up specifically like you are doing now every couple of months, most people post contrary to the 'one spouse' theory.


quote:

ORIGINAL: raivyne
I think God can bring people into our lives, but its up to people as to what becomes of these meetings.

true and even after marriage, people are still a factor via divorce, etc



iwillfearnoevil -> RE: Where did we get the idea... (9/12/2008 9:56:01 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: DreadPirateRandy
I don't believe another person on earth would be as compatible as the one He had for me.


so if she passes away or divorces you, your next wife if you remarry, won't be as compatible?



raivyne -> RE: Where did we get the idea... (9/12/2008 10:53:13 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: iwillfearnoevil

quote:

ORIGINAL: raivyne
I think God can bring people into our lives, but its up to people as to what becomes of these meetings.

true and even after marriage, people are still a factor via divorce, etc



Aye, I'm very familiar with that mess! [&:]

p.s. I love cap't crunch berries! LOL



iwillfearnoevil -> RE: Where did we get the idea... (9/12/2008 11:18:26 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: raivyne
Aye, I'm very familiar with that mess! [&:]

p.s. I love cap't crunch berries! LOL


ditto ... which is why i brought it up (wasn't quoting you to say you were but you posted about people messing things up) ...

p.s. do you like cheesecake though? LOL



raivyne -> RE: Where did we get the idea... (9/12/2008 12:19:47 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: iwillfearnoevil

quote:

ORIGINAL: raivyne
Aye, I'm very familiar with that mess! [&:]

p.s. I love cap't crunch berries! LOL


ditto ... which is why i brought it up (wasn't quoting you to say you were but you posted about people messing things up) ...

p.s. do you like cheesecake though? LOL


understood :)

Cheesecake is my favorite... so long as its made like its supposed to be! strawberry specifically which I just ate on wednesday!



DreadPirateRandy -> RE: Where did we get the idea... (9/12/2008 6:11:28 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: iwillfearnoevil

so if she passes away or divorces you, your next wife if you remarry, won't be as compatible?


Both of those are unlikely, but I'll play along.

I highly doubt I would remarry. I firmly believe that God knew who He had in mind for me, and in His timing, He revealed her to me. She is the one I was to be with upon His timing. She is the one I will spend the rest of my life with. There is no "but what if...". She is "the one". She is the one whom God blessed me with to stay by my side through our life together.

Argue with it if you will, but you will not find biblical evidence in opposition to this belief. I certainly don't want to hear the "Oh, she's not the one. There's plenty out there. You can't know that God spoke to you, it's clearly your own imagination!".

Save it for someone who cares. I know of the assurance I received from God. I know the story behind the "coincidences" of our relationship. It's not the work of my mental imagination, but of a creative God. As hard as that's to imagination, it is true.



broyce1981 -> RE: Where did we get the idea... (9/12/2008 6:33:10 PM)

1 Corinthians 7:39 NASB

"A wife is bound as long as her husband lives; but if her husband is dead, she is free to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord."

This seems pretty clear to me that there is not only one person for us.



John_O -> RE: Where did we get the idea... (9/12/2008 7:19:01 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: DreadPirateRandy

quote:

ORIGINAL: iwillfearnoevil

so if she passes away or divorces you, your next wife if you remarry, won't be as compatible?


Both of those are unlikely, but I'll play along.

I highly doubt I would remarry. I firmly believe that God knew who He had in mind for me, and in His timing, He revealed her to me.


You sound a lot like me when I was first married. Guess what? She died. Now I'm looking to remarry.

They say (and I have found it to be true) that widows and widowers who had good first marriages seek to quickly remarry. I fall into that group. M was the bride of my youth. She was perfect for me at that time and until God took her home.



quote:

She is the one I was to be with upon His timing. She is the one I will spend the rest of my life with. There is no "but what if...". She is "the one". She is the one whom God blessed me with to stay by my side through our life together.


She is the one God is giving (you're not married yet right?) to you for as long as you both shall live. I pray that you grow old together and live long happy lives together. But if one should die before the other, then the survivor is free to marry again.

God used my first marriage to train me to be a great husband (I can supply references!) He will use that to be an incredible blessing to my next wife.


quote:

Argue with it if you will, but you will not find biblical evidence in opposition to this belief. I certainly don't want to hear the "Oh, she's not the one. There's plenty out there. You can't know that God spoke to you, it's clearly your own imagination!".


I agree with you entirely. Once you say "I do" there can be no one else till one of you dies.



quote:

Save it for someone who cares. I know of the assurance I received from God. I know the story behind the "coincidences" of our relationship. It's not the work of my mental imagination, but of a creative God. As hard as that's to imagination, it is true.


You're getting really snippy here for no god reason. Please relax a little, you're among family here.



sunluvingirl -> RE: Where did we get the idea... (9/12/2008 7:30:06 PM)

I've been thinking about this subject a lot today.Seriously, is there anyone who really believes there is EVER ONLY GOING TO BE ONE that we are free to marry? Is that really what is meant by 'the one'? I do believe that IF it is God's will that I marry, then there is ONE that I will end up marrying. And by that I DO NOT mean that, should we be parted by death, that it would be wrong for the other one to marry again because THE ONE has already been taken! Or if I make the wrong choices along the way, its too bad, I will forever remain single because I missed THE ONE! THAT is hogwash.I think the important thing to remember is that in the end, God's ultimate purpose and goal for our lives is not marriage, but to daily grow to be more like Him and in doing that, we will be seeking his direction in every area of our lives and making choices within His will and He will be playing a very real part in who we might date or marry. I think the story of Isaac and Rebekah is simply a good example of how involved God wants to be in those choices and how clearly he can lead when we seek Him. But, He did make us creatures of choice. Anyway, just my thoughts, don't know if I'm making sense.



WaitingforBoaz -> RE: Where did we get the idea... (9/13/2008 12:52:36 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: DreadPirateRandy

quote:

ORIGINAL: iwillfearnoevil

so if she passes away or divorces you, your next wife if you remarry, won't be as compatible?


Both of those are unlikely, but I'll play along.

I highly doubt I would remarry. I firmly believe that God knew who He had in mind for me, and in His timing, He revealed her to me. She is the one I was to be with upon His timing. She is the one I will spend the rest of my life with. There is no "but what if...". She is "the one". She is the one whom God blessed me with to stay by my side through our life together.

Argue with it if you will, but you will not find biblical evidence in opposition to this belief. I certainly don't want to hear the "Oh, she's not the one. There's plenty out there. You can't know that God spoke to you, it's clearly your own imagination!".

Save it for someone who cares. I know of the assurance I received from God. I know the story behind the "coincidences" of our relationship. It's not the work of my mental imagination, but of a creative God. As hard as that's to imagination, it is true.


Aside from a little bit of attitude[:D], this is how a man in love should feel. My hubby knew we would be married the day we met. We actually did not begin dating until 6 months later. There were all the little things that happened that showed the hand of God at work in our relationship bringing us together in his time. I knew he was the one. We were married for almost 20 years. He died last year of brain cancer. I was devistated.(sp) But here I am a little over a year later, starting over with a new relationship. I really believe God has another man out there for me to love and cherish as I did my first husband. I hope and pray that you and your intended grow old together and never have to even think about marrying again, chances are you will. But God found it so okay for a widow to remarry that the linage of Christ depended on a young widow named Ruth marrying her second husband named Boaz, hence my user name WaitingforBoaz.

~Blessings



iwillfearnoevil -> RE: Where did we get the idea... (9/13/2008 2:10:48 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: DreadPirateRandy

quote:

ORIGINAL: iwillfearnoevil

so if she passes away or divorces you, your next wife if you remarry, won't be as compatible?


Both of those are unlikely, but I'll play along.

I highly doubt I would remarry. I firmly believe that God knew who He had in mind for me, and in His timing, He revealed her to me. She is the one I was to be with upon His timing. She is the one I will spend the rest of my life with. There is no "but what if...". She is "the one". She is the one whom God blessed me with to stay by my side through our life together.

Argue with it if you will, but you will not find biblical evidence in opposition to this belief. I certainly don't want to hear the "Oh, she's not the one. There's plenty out there. You can't know that God spoke to you, it's clearly your own imagination!".

Save it for someone who cares. I know of the assurance I received from God. I know the story behind the "coincidences" of our relationship. It's not the work of my mental imagination, but of a creative God. As hard as that's to imagination, it is true.


i think you misunderstood my intentions behind the post ... it wasn't trying to convince you that you met your girlfriend or fiancee by chance ... i was asking about your implication that people should get married only once regardless of death or divorce ... there seems to be a blending of ideas ... btw did God tell you that both of you will live long happy lives together too? it seems a bit cocky to be so sure that neither of you will be widowed nor divorced ...



humbleinspirit -> RE: Where did we get the idea... (9/13/2008 7:51:09 AM)

Kinda posting blindly here, I used to believe that God only had "the one" for you, but through the years I have learned that there could be a few potential mates instead. And all that I have to say to that is thanks be to God! Because what if you to meet the one, but the one ended up marrying someone else instead?



Page: [1] 2 3 4 5   next >   >>



Forum Software © ASPPlayground.NET Advanced Edition 2.5 ANSI