silly but serious question for married women (Full Version)

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OneOfHisJewels -> silly but serious question for married women (9/14/2008 6:01:58 PM)

When you got married, was it hard/weird/embarrassing for you to have your husband see your boxes of tampons or pads? Or to tell him you had cramps?

I never had brothers, and I'm pretty private about that part of my life, so I was just wondering..




Mrs.X -> RE: silly but serious question for married women (9/14/2008 6:27:57 PM)

Not after being married no.....I think that's right about the time we started farting in front of eachother...LOL! After you get married, you kind of come to this realization that you will be with this person for the rest of your life. And, that you don't really have to be embarassed around them regarding anything.

Some people use the "forever" thing as an excuse to let themselves go or get lazy or whatever, but I don't think that's right. I think it reasrures that you don't have to be embarassed about anything like periods and passing gas, etc.




kohls356 -> RE: silly but serious question for married women (9/14/2008 6:55:55 PM)

No I wasn't embarrassed and now that we have three daughters my husband so used to seeing them that I don't even think he notices anymore.




firefightermama -> RE: silly but serious question for married women (9/14/2008 7:22:35 PM)

I was never embarrassed for him to see the pads or tampons or whatever, but I try not to be changing any of those items if he's in the bathroom. But whatever, he tries not to look, it's no big deal.




_Cinderella_ -> RE: silly but serious question for married women (9/14/2008 7:43:37 PM)

No.




artemis -> RE: silly but serious question for married women (9/14/2008 8:14:13 PM)

No. He shared a bathroom with his sister growing up and I have 5 brothers, so I'm pretty sure that any embarrasing situations happend long before we were married.




zoebob -> RE: silly but serious question for married women (9/14/2008 8:52:28 PM)

I don't recall being embarressed. He even bought them because he figured everyone knew they weren't for him.




Georgia-Peach -> RE: silly but serious question for married women (9/14/2008 10:04:04 PM)

Nope.




nevaehs_gaze -> RE: silly but serious question for married women (9/14/2008 10:09:43 PM)

Nope! Even before we were married I had no problem discussing womanly things with him, as I naturally feel so comfortable with him... but occasionally, he'd have to remind me not to get TOO personal. [:D] I remember several times while we were dating we'd be on shopping trips and I'd pick up some feminine products - once he even bought them for me! We're also practicing FAM as our source of birth control, so I tend to discuss rather intimate things with him anyway. Never a problem for me.




TwinCityGirl -> RE: silly but serious question for married women (9/14/2008 10:25:41 PM)

No, I used to keep a box of tampons at his apartment before we got married. (I was there a lot.)

Christina, you're too funny. [sm=Llol.gif] I've been married for nearly 10 years and there is not one time my husband could say he heard me pass gas or burp out loud -- not one time. THAT I would for sure not do in front of him. But that's just me.

OneofHisJewels, you don't have to worry about it when you get married, though, because your husband kind of needs to know what's going on because it affects your sex life to a degree (sometimes, for some people). Some women will not have sex during their periods, others will, so either way -- he kind of needs to know what he's in for there, too (waiting it out or a little bit messier of a situation). It has never ever been embarrassing for me, but then again, my husband is super, super cool. [;)]

I grew up with 4 brothers and our dad in the house (as well as my sisters). My mom was always really private about that kind of stuff so we just kept our period product stashes out of sight and it was no big deal, but we were NOT a family that sat around and joked about that kind of stuff (we still aren't, and I like it that way with my parents/siblings).

My husband and I are both "Shut the bathroom door" kind of people. He goes in there and does what he needs to do WITH THE DOOR CLOSED. Same for me. We just don't care to be seen going to the bathroom. Our shower is in the basement, though, so I will go down there and sit on the basement stairs and talk to my husband while he takes a shower. We have clear shower curtains so I get a really nice view, too. [sm=icon_smile_blush.gif]

Also just remember that when you're married and you start having sex together that you just work through all those things that might have seemed weird when you were single. That's part of the "two becoming one" is sharing intimate things together, even intimate biological things (but not passing gas or burping). [sm=sidesmile.gif]

Jeanie




karlie -> RE: silly but serious question for married women (9/14/2008 10:31:40 PM)

No, it wasn't embarrassing in the least, and I am an extremely private person. By the time it happened for the first time after we got married, him seeing the personal products or me letting him know it was that time of the month seemed like nothing compared to other intimacies we'd been sharing! It seemed perfectly natural for him to know.





Mrs.Wifey -> RE: silly but serious question for married women (9/14/2008 11:55:25 PM)

Nope, it wasn't weird. I have 3 brothers, he has 3 sisters... He has even bought them for me if he's out and I need them. I don't however take care of "that" business while he is in the bathroom with me.




fluffmonkey -> RE: silly but serious question for married women (9/15/2008 12:11:38 AM)

although I am not yet married, we are comfortable talking about it and I have bought them around him and when were married I plan not to "take care" of that kinda business infront of him either... I don't really do that if my sisters are around... lol

he told me one time when he was a kid, he was sitting in car waiting on his mom to get out of the store and he took one of her pads and hung it up on her mirror ...he didnt see it as big deal lol Crazy but I guess he isn't one those guys who is terrified of it ...lol




pumpkin -> RE: silly but serious question for married women (9/15/2008 8:50:34 AM)

no, unfortunately while we were still dating, we were out... away from town... and I **thought** I had "supplies" with me. Unfortunately, I did not. I was having issues during that time period, and things would sometimes happen fast, and I would feel really sick, and it would be extremely heavy out of nowhere. We were driving down I-35, and I suddenly felt really really sick, and I knew what it was. I told him that I needed to find a bathroom pretty quickly. He just said, "ok." He found a place with a bathroom very quickly. We were at a gas station, but they had a bathroom. I got in there and found out that I didn't have what I needed, and the station only had tampons... which I really can't use. So, I was standing there almost in tears. He came over and said, "ready to go?" I said, "no... and I really don't want to tell you this, but I have to, because well... I have to." He said, "what?" I then told him that I was in desperate need of pads, but there were none there... I mean, not a one... what kind of place doesn't have any?? So, we drove into the little town near where we had stopped. We went into a grocery store... a little weird local one. I again was feeling sick, and so we needed to move quickly. I told him what I was looking for, brand and everything if possible. He walked up to the person at the register and asked them. So, we found them, and then he asked if they had a bathroom. They said they did, and they let me use it. However, when I came out they were looking at me like I had done something wrong. (the people who owned/worked in the store, not David) We quickly left, and then we talked about the weird little store for quite a while.

It was quite a strange (for me) experience. I almost never ever ever had ever talked with just about anyone about my period and what I needed and such. He was great though, and took it all in stride. So, by the time we were married, it was all no big deal.




PrincessDonna -> RE: silly but serious question for married women (9/15/2008 10:14:25 AM)

Nope, not weird at all. It's part of life. And he has an older sister.




HisCovenant -> RE: silly but serious question for married women (9/15/2008 10:24:56 AM)

Not for me, either, and I'm a pretty private person when it comes to bodily functions




momma_bee -> RE: silly but serious question for married women (9/15/2008 10:34:52 AM)

When we married, I moved in with him and his dad and I kept things private because of that. I told him it was that time, but that was it.

The following summer, we harvested hot peppers and I was cutting them up. Now, I can handle them without problems, but you know that stuff is on your fingers and it doesn't wash off easily. I then realized that I needed to change my tampon and I wasn't about to touch myself with pepper fingers, just in case. So I asked him to help me out... I looked - there isn't a smiley to show my level of embarrassment.

But, after that, NOTHING is embarrassing.

He didn't like me buying things in front of the kids, which I respected until I had the talk with DeeDee and BigBee. Now, I just toss them in the cart and expect them to deal with it.

I keep telling him that I can be away with BigBee for the day and what if DeeDee needs something? Neither of them should be so embarrassed they can't have a conversation. It is a natural part of most women's lives.




reach -> RE: silly but serious question for married women (9/15/2008 12:19:14 PM)

No, I don't get too embarrassed about those kinds of things though. I get such bad periods, that he may as well know now. :)

He would buy me stuff, so I take care of it. Sometimes he is there though.




Hislittleone -> RE: silly but serious question for married women (9/15/2008 12:24:56 PM)

I don't recall being embarrassed about such things when we were first married. It's been a long time since we were in that getting to know you newlywed phase though. It's getting hard to remember back that far. [&:] Now he will buy my tampons or pads if I happend to need them and he's doing the shopping. It took many years for him to be cool about buying them though. [:D] Didn't want to be seen with such unmanly things I suppose. [8D]

It's just a part of life and as others have said, you will be sharing much more intimate things with him. He'll need to know when your cycle is for various reasons like Jeanie said.

I think most couples get to a pretty comfortable stage before the wedding so that seeing each others personal items isn't quite that embarrassing. But of course it's not the same as being married and it's always an adjustment learning to live with each other.




laughinggirl -> RE: silly but serious question for married women (9/15/2008 1:58:53 PM)

No, by the first day of our honeymoon there was no more embarrassment about any body-related things. That actually shocked me - A LOT. I wasn't expecting to feel so comfortable so quickly, but we both did. And now we are "leave the bathroom door open" kind of people. He has to know all about my period anyway, since it affects our evening activities and I am in pain the first day or so, but he is very sweet and kind about the whole thing.

I do most of the shopping and I try to make sure that I always have a good supply of feminine products. I don't want to have to ask him to buy anything like that for me, although I KNOW if it was an emergency, he totally would do it. I'd just rather not put him in that situation, though, because even though he's open with me, private stuff still embarrasses him terribly in public.




Rayoh -> RE: silly but serious question for married women (9/15/2008 2:28:13 PM)

No.




purejoy -> RE: silly but serious question for married women (9/15/2008 3:20:44 PM)

Nope, I was totally comfortable with it. I have brothers, but we had separate bathrooms. It was still not something that even remotely bothered me. He doesn't really care to discuss it too much and he's not as comfortable with bodily function things like I am, but I just chalk that up to the fact that I'm a nurse and honestly nothing really bothers me.




artemis -> RE: silly but serious question for married women (9/15/2008 6:47:27 PM)

Not all guys are wierded out by pads and tampons. When I taught high school, one of the "funniest" things a guy could do was steal a girl's purse, pull out a couple of tampons and stick them in his ears or nostrils [8|] And if the girl happened to have 4 tampons and he could put them in his ears AND his nostrils, it was pure comedic genius [8|]

Now that I teach jr. high, sometimes someone will throw a tampon in the middle of the hallway, where boys will walk three feet out of their way, hug the wall and avert their eyes, all the while pretending they have no idea what that thing is on the floor [:D]




ajidil -> RE: silly but serious question for married women (9/16/2008 3:07:15 AM)

Ok, I'll be the odd one out and say "yes, it was embarrassing". DH never had any sisters, even girl cousins that were close. He's the baby of the family and any talk about anything even close to that topic were off limits, so he was actually a bit naive when we were getting married. I was an EXTREMELY private person... never even talked with my mom about this stuff, and also didn't have sisters. He did go with me to buy supplies one time right before we were married when we were on vacation with my family, but that's it. I guess it kind of developed into a "need to know basis" and even now 10+ years after being married, we're not super open. We have little code words so he knows what's going on, but not much more. Now that we're TTC, we're a bit more open, but it's hard to change those habits now. Granted, it has gotten a bit easier over the years, but it's still odd. He has a low "yuck-factor" tolerance, so I don't push him.

And we are defiantly "closed bathroom door" people. We decided that before we ever got married, and have stuck to that. For us, that's way to YUCK! [:D]




ChelseaRae -> RE: silly but serious question for married women (9/16/2008 11:16:55 PM)

Okay, can I just say until this thread I didn't even know that 'leave the bathroom door open' people existed!!!! Gah! I would not be comfortable with that...

Lol, anyway... I guess I just assumed that dh knew that all girls get their period so obviously I do too. Mind you I have only had three periods during our entire marriage so it hasn't really come up all that much[8D]. I have awful periods though with debilitating cramps so there is no hiding it from anyone. There are a lot of things that I thought I wouldn't be comfortable with that I am now... although I'm with Jeanie, he certainly has never heard me pass gas!




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