What would you do if a child stole from you? (Full Version)

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Consecrated2God -> What would you do if a child stole from you? (10/6/2008 2:07:12 PM)

We've been ministering to a family that lives a few miles away, and I've been taking the children to church in our van. The parents do not attend church.

Last week one of the girls was playing with my purse while I was driving, and was dumping everything out on the back seat. She held up a $20 bill and asked if she could have it. I told her no, and to put it back. I thought she did, but the next day there was $40 missing from my purse.

I called the mother the next day and asked her to ask her daughter if she knew what happened to it. The girl swears she didn't touch my money.

What would you do in this situation?



rcjames -> RE: What would you do if a child stole from you? (10/6/2008 2:30:46 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Consecrated2God
What would you do in this situation?


Not let folks play with the purse?

I do not think there is much you can do with the exception of ministering to the girl you think stole the money. Show her love and thereby place heaping coals on her head (If she is old encough to understand).

By the way did you make the quilt in the photo?

Thanks
RC



Consecrated2God -> RE: What would you do if a child stole from you? (10/6/2008 2:40:03 PM)

I didn't realize she had my purse until she was holding the money up to me asking if she could have it. I usually don't even bring my purse when I get them, because I've always had this feeling they'd steal from me if they got the chance. I must have brought it with me out of habit last time and didn't even realize it was in the van.

quote:

I do not think there is much you can do with the exception of ministering to the girl you think stole the money. Show her love and thereby place heaping coals on her head (If she is old encough to understand).


Yeah, I'm going to have to forgive her. She has prayed to ask Jesus into her heart, so part of me is thinking that there should be some church discipline somewhere, but she's only eight and not being raised in a Christian home. I am going to take more precautions from now on to keep it from happening again.

Do you think I should let anyone else in the church know, or not? I don't want to spread gossip, but on the other hand I don't want her to steal from anyone else. It also may have been one of her siblings. She may have put the money back and another might have taken it later. I've looked all over the van to see if it just fell out--I would love to find it lying around somewhere so I could apologize to her for falsely accusing her of stealing.



Consecrated2God -> RE: What would you do if a child stole from you? (10/6/2008 2:41:09 PM)

Oh, and yes, I made the quilt. [:)]



rcjames -> RE: What would you do if a child stole from you? (10/6/2008 2:47:12 PM)

If it were me I would not pursue the matter by speaking to folks at the Church. (How old is the girl?). But thankfully that is not my decision to make.

What is the Pattern of the quilt, I am going to show it to the laidies at the Church if you do not mind?

Thanks
RC



Consecrated2God -> RE: What would you do if a child stole from you? (10/6/2008 2:53:21 PM)

I'll send you a PM about the quilt. [:)]

The girl is eight. I'll just have to keep a close eye on her, then. I did tell the other lady that helps work with the kids, though.



christsstar -> RE: What would you do if a child stole from you? (10/6/2008 3:10:33 PM)

I think that all ministry leaders should always be cautious when it comes to people stealing.

Perhaps mention it to the other people who help out, "just a reminder to keep an eye on your possessions at all times or lock them up in the office or car or ......"

I attended a youth group in the inner city and it was stressed to the regulars to don't let things out of your site. Neighborhood kids aren't always the most honest and they may be attending youth group or church events will ulterior motives.

As far as this one girl is concerned ... pray for her. If she stole it, she's not going to admit it and mom is believing daughter at this point. Continue to teach her Jesus' truths and lessons.



drussell52 -> RE: What would you do if a child stole from you? (10/6/2008 4:20:53 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: christsstar

I think that all ministry leaders should always be cautious when it comes to people stealing.

Perhaps mention it to the other people who help out, "just a reminder to keep an eye on your possessions at all times or lock them up in the office or car or ......"

I attended a youth group in the inner city and it was stressed to the regulars to don't let things out of your site. Neighborhood kids aren't always the most honest and they may be attending youth group or church events will ulterior motives.

As far as this one girl is concerned ... pray for her. If she stole it, she's not going to admit it and mom is believing daughter at this point. Continue to teach her Jesus' truths and lessons.

It's unfortunate stuff like this happens all the time. After I would get over the initial desire to "ring their neck" I would wait for the opportune time to discuss this with the girl and or her parents and agree to some kind of pay back by the girl be it sweeping the bus interior, or maybe passing out treats or something related to the group at large, and like others suggested, alert your co-workers and let it stay there. May you be given wisdom and mercy to minister to this girl and those whom you effect in your life.



sisrev -> RE: What would you do if a child stole from you? (10/7/2008 12:50:00 AM)

I think you should drop it about her specifically--you said yourself that you aren't sure if it was her or one of her siblings. Forgive & forget, just make sure there is no opportunity for temptation.

I wouldn't do anything about making her work it off unless she confessed or you had some other kind of actual proof.



Covaan_Meshuga -> RE: What would you do if a child stole from you? (10/7/2008 1:29:03 AM)

The quilt, the quilt! I keep forgetting the quilt!

Yeah, I would just make a blanket statement to others about watching their valuables, locking them up, etc. I am sorry this happened. it is hard on everyone -- the one who lost and the thief.



Consecrated2God -> RE: What would you do if a child stole from you? (10/7/2008 8:01:30 AM)

quote:

I wouldn't do anything about making her work it off unless she confessed or you had some other kind of actual proof.


Yeah, I agree--wouldn't want to do that.

quote:

The quilt, the quilt! I keep forgetting the quilt!


I was wondering if you had forgotten. [:)]

quote:

Yeah, I would just make a blanket statement to others about watching their valuables, locking them up, etc. I am sorry this happened. it is hard on everyone -- the one who lost and the thief.


I'm also hoping to talk to all the children in general, about stealing, honestly, and forgiveness.



sisrev -> RE: What would you do if a child stole from you? (10/7/2008 10:18:05 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Consecrated2God
I'm also hoping to talk to all the children in general, about stealing, honestly, and forgiveness.


I guess a lesson on what happened with Achan might be a little too harsh?[;)]



Consecrated2God -> RE: What would you do if a child stole from you? (10/7/2008 10:35:20 AM)

Lol! Hmmmm, I'll have to think about that one! [8D]



coolfamily6 -> RE: What would you do if a child stole from you? (10/7/2008 12:18:50 PM)

Be very careful since the little girl is saying she did not take your money. A couple of years ago one of our class members asked us to pray for the return of her wedding set. She was 100% sure that a contractor working on her house had stolen them from her dresser top the day before. He had left his tools and she was keeping them until he admitted he had her rings. He INSISTED that he had not stolen from her. Days later when he got tired of not being able to work because she would not give him his tools he called the police. They forced her to give him his tools because she had no proof of the theft. Three days later as she was pulling her little boys jeans from the washer she heard a "clink" sure enough her rings were in the pocket of the jeans.

She quickly called the contractor and apologized but her testimony was ruined not only to him but his crew, and they refused to return to her house to finish the work. She also had to call the police and insurance company to retract her reports on the man.



buckifn -> RE: What would you do if a child stole from you? (10/8/2008 10:22:35 AM)

Unless you have proof positive the little girl stole the money it is wrong to say anything to anyone about it. It is falsely accusing someone and we all know we don't want to be treated that way so why treat someone else like that, esp. an 8 yr old child?

If you have doubts about a child being trustworthy keep your purse/wallet locked up when they are around.



Consecrated2God -> RE: What would you do if a child stole from you? (10/8/2008 1:03:45 PM)

All I've done is ask her mother to ask her child if she knew where the money is. I'm not falsely accusing her of anything.



buckifn -> RE: What would you do if a child stole from you? (10/8/2008 2:24:49 PM)

quote:

I did tell the other lady that helps work with the kids, though.


That is the statement that made me say false accusation. If we tell someone else something we have no proof of should we tell it?

I'm just askin...cause I know none of us likes being falsely accused.



Consecrated2God -> RE: What would you do if a child stole from you? (10/8/2008 5:24:48 PM)

It's a long story, but she was involved, too. Part of the money belonged to her. I figured she should know.



hjemerson -> RE: What would you do if a child stole from you? (10/13/2008 2:09:04 PM)

In working witth children/teen and many adults we have to protect our self and the thing we have as money. I agree you have done the right steps: talked with the parents in a nontreating way asking for help. Let others that need to know ( that was apostivie so many time in church thing are just: well it will not happen again and when it does who at fault the person that didnot care to let others) know that a need to take care of personal items what has happen and you have a loving careing heart. many times I have gone to youth/children events with only my phone/id/few dollare in my pocket left my purse etc in the trunk ,If this young lady did or any one in the van did this will be alessonthtye will remember for years, It can be alife shanging events in how you handle it for all in the group. We just staed a few months ago in a new group of preteens and were told in a christian manner tht two of our youth hacve taked things before and one admitted to it so now we keep tempation away, We also know they stole from each other so we are teaching respect /etc the next few months in our lesson time, etc. May the Lord bless and double you r loss!!



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