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RE: Horrible situation - Please advise - 11/18/2008 2:24:59 PM
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manda59
Posts: 6162
Joined: 9/22/2005
From: Hampshire, UK
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quote:
ORIGINAL: csl7037
quote:
ORIGINAL: manda59
quote:
ORIGINAL: Jaded23
I think I should leave, but I'm afraid to. I'm afraid of making a mistake I'll regret for the rest of my life. I'm also afraid of staying and being miserable for the rest of my life.
quote:
We have 2 children now aged 15 and next month, our daughter will be 18. I leave them in the house with my husband. I don't want to hurt them again. He is a very very good father, and I don't want them to lose their house and their school routine. My leaving means leaving with nothing.
Could you just clarify here? Are you seriously saying that if you leave, you will leave not just your husband but your children too?
We've already talked about this before . . .
I can't see anywhere where this has been discussed in detail. I can see that a couple of people have expressed concerns about leaving the children with him, but I have also seen people here telling her she should leave. I cannot ever imagine advising a mother to leave her children behind, in this case not only because of the morally dangerous situation she'd be leaving them in, but also because of the emotional damage that would be done by her deserting them (which is how they would likely see it).
_____________________________
"Manda is right"
mvic, January 2009
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RE: Horrible situation - Please advise - 11/18/2008 2:32:08 PM
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evryknee
Posts: 297
Joined: 3/9/2008
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I'd also recommend ww.purelifeministries.org. There are counselors there for women whose husbands are involved in porn and sexual sins. They also have an impatient clinic (6 months), so perhaps mentioning to your husband that if he wanted one last shot with you (if your willing to give it), he will need to go there. They are Biblical, straightforward, and no-nonsense.
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RE: Horrible situation - Please advise - 11/18/2008 4:54:40 PM
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Jaded23
Posts: 7
Joined: 1/27/2006
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Thank you so much everyone. I have been so alone in all this and without outside perspective, I start feeling like I'm the crazy one. If you all would pray for me tonight as I discuss this with my husband, I would be most grateful.
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RE: Horrible situation - Please advise - 11/18/2008 5:37:16 PM
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crankius
Posts: 4661
Joined: 4/12/2005
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Jaded23
Thank you so much everyone. I have been so alone in all this and without outside perspective, I start feeling like I'm the crazy one. If you all would pray for me tonight as I discuss this with my husband, I would be most grateful.
I'm wondering about Manda's question. Are you thinking of leaving your children behind with him?
_____________________________
Do not be overly righteous, Nor be overly wise: Why should you destroy yourself?
Ecclesiastes 7:16
SYSTEMATIC THEOLOGY
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RE: Horrible situation - Please advise - 11/18/2008 7:00:02 PM
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manda59
Posts: 6162
Joined: 9/22/2005
From: Hampshire, UK
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Jaded23
Thank you so much everyone. I have been so alone in all this and without outside perspective, I start feeling like I'm the crazy one. If you all would pray for me tonight as I discuss this with my husband, I would be most grateful.
Please please, Jaded, if you go, don't leave your children with him, take them with you.
Praying for you.
_____________________________
"Manda is right"
mvic, January 2009
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RE: Horrible situation - Please advise - 11/18/2008 7:18:01 PM
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csl7037
Posts: 2060
Joined: 3/24/2008
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quote:
ORIGINAL: manda59
I can't see anywhere where this has been discussed in detail. I can see that a couple of people have expressed concerns about leaving the children with him, but I have also seen people here telling her she should leave. I cannot ever imagine advising a mother to leave her children behind, in this case not only because of the morally dangerous situation she'd be leaving them in, but also because of the emotional damage that would be done by her deserting them (which is how they would likely see it).
I agree. I think when we (Maggie and I) briefly "discussed" it before it was assumed that the kids would be one of the biggest reasons to leave - with the kids.
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RE: Horrible situation - Please advise - 11/19/2008 3:57:49 PM
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buckifn
Posts: 1863
Joined: 5/23/2006
Status: offline
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For your safety and the safety of your children I would advise you to only have discussions with an attorney and your pastor. Your husband might really turn on you and/or your kids if you discuss leaving.
Leave and then let your attorney arrange for meetings in his office if there is to be any discussion.
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