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RE: Is getting married to a non-believer wrong? - 10/20/2008 3:56:27 PM
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1love1God1way
Posts: 2478
Joined: 5/16/2005
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Mrs.Above_All
quote:
ORIGINAL: 1love1God1way
If you are not a follower, a true disciple of Christ, you are hell-bound and totally depraved. How disturbing of a concept to become "one flesh" with someone in that state.
Not picking on you. Really.  Just addressing posts that's all.
Nope. No worries. Not feeling picked on. I made some very blunt and short posts, so I anticipated a little recoil.
quote:
Can you please clarify this statement? By not a follower, a true disciple of Christ...can you clarify this so that we understand what exactly you are saying will make us hell bound?
Sure.
Believe, and repent. Not just believe in God . . . that's easy. And not just confess Christ as Lord . . . while that's a needed step, in itself, it is still not sufficient (even the devil acknowledges that Jesus is Lord).
I'm talking about being made new, being born again, being saved. Repenting of sin (that is, a lifestyle of repentance, not just a moment spent at an altar on time at summer camp). I am talking about daily dying to self, daily picking up our crosses, and following after Him.
This is the standard for Christianity. Now, clearly, we all mess up at times, but if this isn't what we are doing, striving for, then we aren't saved. A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, nor a bad tree good fruit. So, our faith will then also correspond to evidence of faith done in works.
Without this, one is simply not saved. Without the indwelling of the Holy Spirit, mankind is totally depraved. It is not that we were born able to sin . . it's that we were born never knowing anything BUT sin, and the only way that changes is through salvation.
And so I see a saved person and an unsaved person as being VERY different. What does light and dark have in common?
While unequal people may get along great and love each other, they are dynamically opposite where it is MOST important, and for them to become "one flesh" is dishonorable, a slap in God's face, IMO, sinful, and all-around simply unhealthy and unwise.
_____________________________
love.ben
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RE: Is getting married to a non-believer wrong? - 10/20/2008 11:05:25 PM
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PaleHawkWoman
Posts: 645
Joined: 7/14/2005
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My spouse is a non-believer, and our marriage is very solid. He loves me, supports me, takes care of his responsibilities as the man of the house, and has been a positive role-model for my 4 children(who aren't his btw). He appreciates all I do as his wife, and lets me know it every day. He is truly a prince among men and treats me like a queen.
We don't argue about religion altho we discuss religion, politics, and everything else under the sun. When anyone questions or attacks my faith, he is the first to come to my defense.
Even if he isn't christian, he has been a blessing in my life and I thank God for him every day.
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RE: Is getting married to a non-believer wrong? - 10/21/2008 2:16:03 PM
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deermousie
Posts: 1946
Joined: 9/26/2007
Status: online
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Diego7979, you still here?
You've gotten some very wise advice on this thread. Only one person thought marrying a nonChristian was OK, and the rest were mostly emphatic that it was to be avoided.
If you are still sure you'd like to marry her, please go to the marriage forums and see what kind of agony some dear Christian brothers and sisters are having over nonbelieving spouses. It's heart-rending and real.
_____________________________
Want to know where a certain word or phrase in the Bible is found? www.biblegateway.com Yay!
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RE: Is getting married to a non-believer wrong? - 10/21/2008 2:22:37 PM
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manda59
Posts: 6162
Joined: 9/22/2005
From: Hampshire, UK
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: PaleHawkWoman
My spouse is a non-believer, and our marriage is very solid. He loves me, supports me, takes care of his responsibilities as the man of the house, and has been a positive role-model for my 4 children(who aren't his btw). He appreciates all I do as his wife, and lets me know it every day. He is truly a prince among men and treats me like a queen.
We don't argue about religion altho we discuss religion, politics, and everything else under the sun. When anyone questions or attacks my faith, he is the first to come to my defense.
Even if he isn't christian, he has been a blessing in my life and I thank God for him every day.
PaleHawkWoman
Could I just ask if your husband come to church/Bible Study with you?
_____________________________
"Manda is right"
mvic, January 2009
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RE: Is getting married to a non-believer wrong? - 10/23/2008 1:16:47 PM
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PaleHawkWoman
Posts: 645
Joined: 7/14/2005
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: manda59
quote:
ORIGINAL: PaleHawkWoman
My spouse is a non-believer, and our marriage is very solid. He loves me, supports me, takes care of his responsibilities as the man of the house, and has been a positive role-model for my 4 children(who aren't his btw). He appreciates all I do as his wife, and lets me know it every day. He is truly a prince among men and treats me like a queen.
We don't argue about religion altho we discuss religion, politics, and everything else under the sun. When anyone questions or attacks my faith, he is the first to come to my defense.
Even if he isn't christian, he has been a blessing in my life and I thank God for him every day.
PaleHawkWoman
Could I just ask if your husband come to church/Bible Study with you?
No. He is traditional Cherokee- believes in the Almighty, believes Jesus is the Son of the Almighty, has no use for the church, and refuses to use the word "christian" to describe his beliefs. Says the church spends too much time talking the Bible and too little time living it. He reads the NT in Cherokee, and the tribe should have the OT completely translated by next year. He keeps our traditional ceremonies.
As a believer who is also traditional Cherokee, I gather with other Native believers but do not attend a church. I have never found one I feel comfortable with or which will respect my cultural affiliation as a legitimate part of my faith. I have tobacco ties and other religious symbols around my house and get tired of people accusing me of syncretism and paganism while refusing to listen to me explain their meanings.
When we Native believers gather (some of us use believer and christian interchangeably while others do not use christian due to negative connotations amongst Natives), we sing, pray, dance, discuss Scripture and relate our walk with Creator and how He has blessed or tested us lately. Sometimes, when someone is sick, we hold an inipi, or sweat ceremony for the sick person. Other times we hold fasts for several days in corporate prayer. We observe other ceremonies as well according to our different tribal practices.
My husband and I observe our traditional practices together, but he does not observe Christmas or Easter (converted pagan holidays), Passover(we're not Jewish), Thanksgiving (first official one was to celebrate massacre of entire village of christian Pequots at order of one of the Mathers), or other church holidays. We do pray together and he does pray in Jesus' name, which in Cherokee is Tsisa or Galvquadodi(Savior) or Unelvnvhi-uwetsi(Creator-Son).
Heck most traditional Natives pray in Jesus' name but do not attend a Euro-American style church. So perhaps we are believers or Jesus-followers but not christians as most folks here would define christians. At any rate, we don't argue over religion as we consider that to be disrespectful of the Almighty and our fellowman.
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RE: Is getting married to a non-believer wrong? - 10/23/2008 8:50:18 PM
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laditricia
Posts: 23
Joined: 4/13/2008
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diego7979
i don’t know if it is wrong, if you have prayed on the feelings you hold for her, perhaps God led you here to help her find her way to loving Jesus. Certainly I am not a good one on giving this kind of advise if you love her with all your heart, I would think you need to just keep seeking God guidance and listen to the Holy Spirit.
Let me tell you about situation i now find myself in it is a very difficult for I have found my faith and love for Jesus it has brought me back to church, I have a renewed thirst and hunger to learn more, to be around other Christians sharing their uplifted hearts. The church I am now attending is a wonderful one filled with hundreds of people, many different bible classes, activities and volunteer opportunities.
The sad part is when i married I had not found my way into the arms of Jesus, and now that I have my husband is not a very happy camper, things were becoming stressed before this and now he is just not content with this at all, he has asked me how far I intend to take this religious thing, and how he doesn’t think this is going to be a good thing for our marriage because I am getting to involved.
I try to explain it to him but I just get all tongue tied and frustrated cause I can’t find the right words, and anything I say it seems he can turn the meaning around, anything I enjoy doing with the church he has a way of making feel like I am being selfish where he is concerned. I have asked him to come to church, I don’t have to tell you the negative answer I received. He is anger cause after being married these years i have now changed on him, which makes me feel guilty when he says it like that, as if i have done something horrible.
Marriage is a beautiful part of life, but there will be times of difficulties, I believe to be able to hold each other in faith would be the most incredible bond two could share, I believe to have that all the rest would be blessed into place to make a lasting loving marriage.
_____________________________
tricia
"pour Thine words into this soul,
purify mine humbled heart"
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RE: Is getting married to a non-believer wrong? - 10/23/2008 11:50:41 PM
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PaleHawkWoman
Posts: 645
Joined: 7/14/2005
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: shadowspring
quote:
Thanksgiving (first official one was to celebrate massacre of entire village of christian Pequots at order of one of the Mathers),
Can you give me a link or other reference to this? I am a home school mom and want to teach history accurately.
By the way, if Christian means follower of Jesus, you surely qualify. But why do you call your husband an unbeliever? Sounds like he believes to me. *scratches head*
Oh and by the way, congrats on the Bible translation soon to be complete! 
Let me find the article and email it to you if I can't get it thru the Daily Frybread/InMyJesus site link.
I don't think I said he was an unbeliever, but he refuses to call himself christian or have anything to do with the church.
Would you like a link for Native American culture and history for homeschoolers? My friend Penny maintains such a site and would probably be more than happy to help you. She homeshools both her girls. The family is Lumbee/Cherokee.
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RE: Is getting married to a non-believer wrong? - 10/24/2008 2:28:24 AM
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carl54
Posts: 66
Joined: 5/31/2005
Status: offline
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Can one marry an unbeliever? We can rationalize our way into doing what we want to do, but that does not make it right. The issue is what does God say on the matter - Not what OTHERS have to say and not what others have experienced. God says we should not. Can you trust God on his word? It is matter of obedience - there is no debate on the direction from God because it is scripturally clear. "Trust and obey for there is no other way to be happy in Jesus". If you want to experience the fullness of God's blessing, trust Him and obey Him and his promises are yours.
_____________________________
Walk in the Sirit and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. Gal 5:16
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RE: Is getting married to a non-believer wrong? - 10/24/2008 3:36:04 AM
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Child4Jesus
Posts: 467
Joined: 5/24/2005
From: Long Island, Nassau, Elmont, NY
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: PaleHawkWoman
My spouse is a non-believer, and our marriage is very solid. He loves me, supports me, takes care of his responsibilities as the man of the house, and has been a positive role-model for my 4 children(who aren't his btw). He appreciates all I do as his wife, and lets me know it every day. He is truly a prince among men and treats me like a queen.
We don't argue about religion altho we discuss religion, politics, and everything else under the sun. When anyone questions or attacks my faith, he is the first to come to my defense.
Even if he isn't christian, he has been a blessing in my life and I thank God for him every day.
And you should be thanking a God everyday that you have a good marriage even though he is an unbeliever. Your job is to keep being a godly wife which I'm sure your doing and win him to Christ. However your situation is rear.
Something to point out however. Christianity is not just another religion. It is a relationship with God through our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.
_____________________________
In Christ,
Richad
The greatest heresy to American Christianity is that if you ask Jesus to come into your heart, he definitely will.
Paul Washer
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RE: Is getting married to a non-believer wrong? - 10/24/2008 12:03:40 PM
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Sideways
Posts: 3934
Joined: 4/12/2005
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Child4Jesus
Something to point out however. Christianity is not just another religion. It is a relationship with God through our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.
Christian can also be just a title.
She's already said that her husband prays, acknowledges Jesus as the son of the Almighty and reads the Bible. But the history and culture of the Christian church is often quite bloody and cruel, so considering the atrocities that have been done to the Native Americans in the name of Christianity, I can understand why he would reject the title of Christian and the Christian Church.
_____________________________
This warranty does not include shark bites, bear attacks and children under five.
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RE: Is getting married to a non-believer wrong? - 10/24/2008 1:27:44 PM
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deermousie
Posts: 1946
Joined: 9/26/2007
Status: online
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quote:
ORIGINAL: PaleHawkWoman
We do pray together and he does pray in Jesus' name, which in Cherokee is Tsisa or Galvquadodi(Savior) or Unelvnvhi-uwetsi(Creator-Son).
Heck most traditional Natives pray in Jesus' name but do not attend a Euro-American style church. So perhaps we are believers or Jesus-followers but not christians as most folks here would define christians. At any rate, we don't argue over religion as we consider that to be disrespectful of the Almighty and our fellowman.
Well, you've got a different culture, so it's perfectly reasonable that you don't attend a Euro-American style church. Believers in Latin America don't, either. God fits Himself to every culture because He made them all. If you guys believe in the basics: there is a God, He is good, Jesus is God and died to pay for sin, He rose from the dead, and we get baptized in the name of the Trinity, then we are all family despite the other trappings.
I don't know about Cherokee culture, but some Native American nations are heavily demon-infested, and there's a real disconnect when one of them becomes a Christian. The culture has to be separated out into what is based on cosmology (how the universe works spiritually and morally) and what is neutral and practical. So does every believer in every culture.
You get together with other believers - hey, that's church! Cool!
I recommend to everyone a book called "Frontiersman" by... uh... sorry, I don't remember. But it's 1700s in America, and every person, every incident, and most every conversation is backed by documentation. It includes a story about a large group of Native Americans who were Moravian (Christian), and slaughtered inspite of their pacifism. Shameful, shameful, shameful. A fascinating read that is even-handed and brutally honest. Prepare to weep.
And yes, I'm off-topic, but Diego seems to have gone, and this came up. Yes, God says to not be unequally yoked, so don't do it.
_____________________________
Want to know where a certain word or phrase in the Bible is found? www.biblegateway.com Yay!
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RE: Is getting married to a non-believer wrong? - 10/27/2008 12:14:57 PM
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PaleHawkWoman
Posts: 645
Joined: 7/14/2005
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: shadowspring
quote:
Thanksgiving (first official one was to celebrate massacre of entire village of christian Pequots at order of one of the Mathers),
Can you give me a link or other reference to this? I am a home school mom and want to teach history accurately.
By the way, if Christian means follower of Jesus, you surely qualify. But why do you call your husband an unbeliever? Sounds like he believes to me. *scratches head*
Oh and by the way, congrats on the Bible translation soon to be complete!
The first known reference in a publication was from a 1903 Atlantic Monthly Magazine, Vol 20:203 I believe. However if you go to Answers.com or Search.com and put Pequot Massacre of 1637 in the search engine, either will pull up a summary with links for the people and dates involved as well as a list of sources used. There does appear to be dispute over the proclamation aspect as apparently the Puritans and English Colonists took to having a "thanksgiving" feast after every massacre of Indians thru the late 1600's. Bounties for live Indians to be sold for West Indies slavery and bounties on scalps for dead Indians- men, women, and children- are well-documented, and even those converted to Christianity were not exempt. The main massacre was the Mystic Massacre on July 16 of 1637, which involved an estimated 700-800 Pequot, mostly women, children, and elders as the men were out on a war party. Only seven were taken alive and perhaps as many escaped, but most of those in the village were burned alive in their homes or shot or cut down with swords as they tried to escape the flames. Neither children nor infants were spared. Most of the edicts issued at the time speak of "God's will" in exterminating the "heathen, deformed savages". Considering that most Indians in that area were quite tall and the women taller than most white men, and Native men and women alike athletic and able-bodied, I fail to see where the "deformed" comes from.
You can also access the Mashantucket Pequot Tribal site, as well as the websites for Encyclopedia Britannica and other standard American encyclopedias. I would avoid the Wikipedia and DailyKos sites as they tend to include way too much modern commentary rather than sticking to academic and period documentation. The University of Connecticutt's History and Anthropology Departments might also have some useful info thru their sites, but I haven't accessed these so I don't know.
I apologize this took until today. My husband's "baby" brother is moving to San Diego CA this week and we spent the weekend in Chattanoooga helping him pack his stuff.
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