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Should I go to a different church - 10/31/2008 11:23:45 AM
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ppodmama
Posts: 22
Joined: 10/31/2008
From: Midwest
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My husband, who was an Elder at church, recently voluntarily stepped down because of a behavioral issue. Consequently members of church were informed he was stepping down voluntarily because of a personal indiscretion, but didn't know specifically why.
We have been dearly loved by everyone at church, receiving encouragement and loving notes, and, even according to pastors, no one has said a word that was bad against us to them, in fact, some thought the wording of the letter was too hard on him. Talk about love, eh?
I fully support my husband, he is a wonderful man, dealing with an issue.
However, I do no wish to attend our church anymore. I have always been an intensely private person, and because our extended families are not Christians the church has been a place of refuge for me. But now that I am aware all our members know our circumstance, I feel every time they look at me they don't see me, they see the problem.
I want to go somewhere where I can be me again.
Our church really is like family and we have attended for 15 years, I just suffer so much while I am there. Any thoughts....
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RE: Should I go to a different church - 10/31/2008 11:27:26 AM
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AboundinginHisGrace
Posts: 408
Joined: 4/28/2008
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Well church is where you should be able to talk about your life the good and the bad. That is what the body of Christ is for. You need to be able to be open with fellow Christians. I do not know the whole situation, but your relationship with fellow Christians especially your home church should be helpful not hurtful. I will pray for you guys.
_____________________________
Ephesians 2:8 For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God, 9 not of works, lest anyone should boast.
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RE: Should I go to a different church - 10/31/2008 11:40:09 AM
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sparkleingsnow
Posts: 3844
Joined: 1/9/2007
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Of course you want to seek the Lord's will in this above all else. My thoughts are if you feel loved and accepted there and your church family helps you to grow, why go? From time to time we may learn of an area that one of us is struggling in. But what are we told to do? Love each other, help each other. Sounds like that is what your church family is trying to do. And whatever it is they know will fade in they're minds. If it was the person sitting in front of you that had this problem what would you want them to do? Leave? Or let you love and support them?
_____________________________
Bless the Lord, O my soul: and all that is
within me, bless his holy name.
Psalm 103:1
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RE: Should I go to a different church - 10/31/2008 12:08:05 PM
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DeeAnnBailey
Posts: 2638
Joined: 3/23/2006
From: SC
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This discomfort is not coming from the Lord in all probability. Ask yourself where is it coming from and do you want to follow that source. We recently went through some similiar things with my daughter and at first she didn't want to go back there either but those folks kept loving her.
They sent cards, they checked on her, they never let her forget that they loved her. There was no judgmental attitudes or pointing fingers just love and after a while that love overcame the discomfort she felt and she is happily back in fellowship.
_____________________________
D. Ann Bailey
My Blog Dee's Delights and Delusions
<<<<<<The love of my life - precious Erin!
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RE: Should I go to a different church - 10/31/2008 12:41:36 PM
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genesis111
Posts: 9
Joined: 9/30/2005
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quote:
ORIGINAL: sparkleingsnow
Of course you want to seek the Lord's will in this above all else.
I would like to second this statement. Seek the Lord's will above all else. I have found myself growing in times of trouble. Did the Lord allow me to go through troubled times in order to grow closer to Him? Most likely.
Seek God's direction and grow closer to Him. If this means going somewhere else then so be it. You cannot fail by listening to God's direction. Your husband should be able to discern the right thing to do.
God bless you. We all find trouble in this world, especially those that are saved. Nothing but trouble!
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RE: Should I go to a different church - 10/31/2008 1:21:07 PM
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dianetavegia
Posts: 2031
Joined: 8/23/2005
From: Southern Baptist, Non Calvinist, Pro Life Ga. girl
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: ppodmama
I feel every time they look at me they don't see me, they see the problem.
I'm guessing you don't want people to remember the problem or feel sorry for you??? Family loves us in spite of our failings!
Proverbs 16:18 Pride goes before destruction, And a haughty spirit before a fall.
I once said 'not me!' and within hours........ was proven wrong. I was proud and brought low.
_____________________________
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RE: Should I go to a different church - 10/31/2008 1:50:39 PM
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Covaan_Meshuga
Posts: 3417
Joined: 6/8/2005
From: a mother who let me live
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Wow. From reading your note, my suggestion is that you not go. There is so much to be learned when we stay where we are and face the giants we build up in our minds. Leaving would be the temporary "easy way out," but such "easy ways out" always end up prolonging the learning and healing, making it more tedious and painful.
Moses stayed and faced those who criticized him unfairly, and G-d took care of the problem. David stayed and faced his giants inspite of his brothers' derision. Peter didn't run away after Paul called him out for his indiscretion. Paul was himself accused, but he went to the elders and took their suggestion, standing up to his criticizers, demonstrating his faithfulness. I believe these people, these incidents, are given as lessons for us.
When we leave a place because of our own weakness, we take that weakness with us; we do not leave it behind.
_____________________________
Abiyah
"Ladies and gentlemen, there are things that you will only be able to learn by the weakest among us, and when you snuff them out, you are the one that loses." ~~Gianna Jesson, 1977 LA, CA, saline abortion survivor
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RE: Should I go to a different church - 10/31/2008 2:01:59 PM
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siapa
Posts: 96
Joined: 3/5/2008
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Maybe it's different situation than mine, but...yes, I jumped ship!!! I left the church because of the ministry volunteers went berzerk & became hypocrites!!! I'd prefer move to another church, where I could volunteer & devote myself to Jesus Christ, not men! And I've found one for quite awhile now, thank You Jesus, amen. That's my 2 cents....
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RE: Should I go to a different church - 10/31/2008 2:18:11 PM
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Covaan_Meshuga
Posts: 3417
Joined: 6/8/2005
From: a mother who let me live
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Yes, that is a different situation. I was kicked out of a church, and I found a place of worship with integrity.
_____________________________
Abiyah
"Ladies and gentlemen, there are things that you will only be able to learn by the weakest among us, and when you snuff them out, you are the one that loses." ~~Gianna Jesson, 1977 LA, CA, saline abortion survivor
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RE: Should I go to a different church - 10/31/2008 2:21:45 PM
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URForgiven
Posts: 1211
Joined: 3/22/2008
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: ppodmama
My husband, who was an Elder at church, recently voluntarily stepped down because of a behavioral issue. Consequently members of church were informed he was stepping down voluntarily because of a personal indiscretion, but didn't know specifically why.
We have been dearly loved by everyone at church, receiving encouragement and loving notes, and, even according to pastors, no one has said a word that was bad against us to them, in fact, some thought the wording of the letter was too hard on him. Talk about love, eh?
I fully support my husband, he is a wonderful man, dealing with an issue.
However, I do no wish to attend our church anymore. I have always been an intensely private person, and because our extended families are not Christians the church has been a place of refuge for me. But now that I am aware all our members know our circumstance, I feel every time they look at me they don't see me, they see the problem.
I want to go somewhere where I can be me again.
Our church really is like family and we have attended for 15 years, I just suffer so much while I am there. Any thoughts....
It sounds like you are surrounded by loving and accepting brothers and sisters in Christ and you want to leave because you are embarrassed. But that will pass with time. If you were being judged or condemned that would be another thing, but you say you are being loved. Being humbled is not a bad thing, unless we let it be.
Perhaps there will be others there who will be helped by you and/or your husband, others whose indiscretions have not been made public, but who nonetheless suffer in silence? You will be uniquely qualified to help others who may be going through something similar to what you are. Ya never know. God Bless you.
Peace
_____________________________
"Are you so foolish? After beginning with the Spirit,
are you now trying to attain your goal by human effort?" Galatians 3:3
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RE: Should I go to a different church - 11/1/2008 11:32:15 AM
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redeemedsaint
Posts: 497
Joined: 12/5/2005
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I have been in a somewhat similiar situation and after four months, I am still there. I would encourage you to hang in there and pray about it before you move on somewhere else.
_____________________________
Woody
Get off the track cause the freight train is coming - Coach Bobby Lee Duke from Facing the Giants
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RE: Should I go to a different church - 11/1/2008 11:57:54 AM
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deermousie
Posts: 1946
Joined: 9/26/2007
Status: online
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It might help to consider that when we stand before God, we stand there naked. We don't hide behind fortune or reputation, but all our faults are in full view.
This is you now, in a sense, and the people in that church love and support you, just like God does. When so many churches are full of selfish people trying to trick everyone else in to satisfying their unbiblical desires and not caring to let God's truth shape their lives, I wouldn't let a team of wild horses drag me out of the church you're in. 
God admonishes us like sons, and it proves we ARE sons of His:
For whom the LORD loves He chastens,And scourges every son whom He receives. If you endure chastening, God deals with you as with sons; for what son is there whom a father does not chasten? But if you are without chastening, of which all have become partakers, then you are illegitimate and not sons. Hebrews 12:6-8
Now no chastening seems to be joyful for the present, but painful; nevertheless, afterward it yields the peaceable fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.
Hebrews 12:11
You aren't the first person to have a learning experience and grow by it - every Christian has them. There is no shame in growing and leaving unworkable things behind. We confess, we repent (turn around and go the other way) and God blesses. We all have to do this or we stay in our sin the rest of our lives. God weeds it out, a little at a time but all the time. Thank God for His sanctification process!
Return the grace those people are showing you; they need your words of thanks and love, too. And by this we are built up in a body and show the world God is real. Those Christians, how they love one another! <dancin'>
God bless you, dear one. Rejoice that God is working His ways into your lives and reassuring you that you are truly members of His family!
_____________________________
Want to know where a certain word or phrase in the Bible is found? www.biblegateway.com Yay!
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RE: Should I go to a different church - 11/1/2008 1:33:48 PM
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atruefaith
Posts: 320
Joined: 6/18/2005
Status: offline
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quote:
I fully support my husband, he is a wonderful man, dealing with an issue.
However, I do no wish to attend our church anymore. I have always been an intensely private person, and because our extended families are not Christians the church has been a place of refuge for me. But now that I am aware all our members know our circumstance, I feel every time they look at me they don't see me, they see the problem.
I'd submit that your pride is getting the better of you. You said yourself that your church has been kind, understanding and loving towards you. Rather than run and hide, you should stay at your church and grow in the humiliating circumstances that clearly still bother you. And if you can't be open with those who are understanding, what makes you think that those in another church will be any different? Drop the mask, stop pretending, be open with your brothers and sisters. You don't want a refuge, as a refuge is place that you can confess your sin, be ashamed and still find love and forgiveness in Jesus with fellow sinners. What you want is a place to hide your sin so you don't have to worry about feeling inferior. But the heart of the believer is about feeling/being inferior. Blessed are the poor in spirit!
And as for being an "intensely private" person:
Whoever isolates himself seeks his own desire... - Proverbs 18:1 ESV
And I know how true this is as I too am an "intensely private person" who wrestles with things like these every day.
quote:
I want to go somewhere where I can be me again.
This is the whole problem.
< Message edited by atruefaith -- 11/1/2008 1:45:41 PM >
_____________________________
A series of short stories depicting the Christian faith....
www.atruefaith.com
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RE: Should I go to a different church - 11/1/2008 3:35:28 PM
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misty35
Posts: 614
Joined: 9/22/2008
From: Arkansas
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: ppodmama
My husband, who was an Elder at church, recently voluntarily stepped down because of a behavioral issue. Consequently members of church were informed he was stepping down voluntarily because of a personal indiscretion, but didn't know specifically why.
We have been dearly loved by everyone at church, receiving encouragement and loving notes, and, even according to pastors, no one has said a word that was bad against us to them, in fact, some thought the wording of the letter was too hard on him. Talk about love, eh?
I fully support my husband, he is a wonderful man, dealing with an issue.
However, I do no wish to attend our church anymore. I have always been an intensely private person, and because our extended families are not Christians the church has been a place of refuge for me. But now that I am aware all our members know our circumstance, I feel every time they look at me they don't see me, they see the problem.
I want to go somewhere where I can be me again.
Our church really is like family and we have attended for 15 years, I just suffer so much while I am there. Any thoughts....
I believe this is somethng that you need to give to the Lord, and allow Him to show you what He is asking of you. Pray and have faith that He will answer you. He knows your worries and your concerns, and most importantly, when we call out to Him, He hears us and and is faithful to answer. Be patient and wait for Him to answer.
Im praying for you and your family.
_____________________________
"For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind." 2 Timothy 1:7 
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RE: Should I go to a different church - 11/1/2008 4:59:43 PM
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His_4_Ever
Posts: 599
Joined: 10/4/2008
From: Idaho
Status: offline
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I believe you should not go to another church, because you would just be running away from your situation and that's no solution. While I was in the military I didn't always live an upright life. I seemed to always do something that embarrassed me thoroughly at each of my duty stations. Everyone would always find out about it through the grapevine. I always couldn't wait to get to my next duty station, so I could get away from the gossip and embarrassment. I would always promise myself things were going different at my next assignment, but then without fail something invariably would happen. Running away doesn't make the situation or problem go away. All you will be doing is carrying the trash to the next place. It would seem like the problem would be easier to handle if you stayed amongst your longtime congregation and friends. The embarrassment and stares will fade in time. If you can't be open and honest with your problems with your congregation and friends, then who can you be open with? We as Christians shouldn't hide away our problems and sins, but we should rely on our congregation and friends to help see us through these difficult times.
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RE: Should I go to a different church - 11/1/2008 5:26:57 PM
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truthrevealed
Posts: 403
Joined: 12/6/2007
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Right off the bat, I would say, follow your heart(spirit) turning off all of your emotions and reasonings. Yes, seek God's leading. Second it sounds as if you should stay. This could very well be an opportunity to grow---which so often involves some sort of pain and/or embarrassment at first but go THRU it!
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RE: Should I go to a different church - 11/2/2008 12:26:47 AM
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firefighter38310
Posts: 36
Joined: 10/13/2008
Status: offline
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my family and i have also had to make decisions about changing churches
i have written something about the whys of certain churches and why we seek some type more than others for ourselves.
i have also added a story to illustrate my feelings. most of the story is true but of course i chnaged some names and added some satire. i hope you enjoy
The single minded mission of the early churches is being replaced by denominationalism and hence the original goal of “Spreading the word of God” has become “making those to whom we are spreading the word comfortable.”
I am not being trivial. I am not talking about a piano in the church, sprinkling versus submersion or what role do women play. I am talking about changing the message to pleasure the larger number of the masses. Lots of churches are seeking a dilution from Gods original message, to its ok to sin some or some sins are kind of ok. After all, if we (the church) continue with the same message as the first century church, we may loose many in the congregation and hence the pocketbook. I will try to share a story I thought up to illustrate my feelings on today’s religious views (a few of those) some of the things mentioned are true.
[Central control can you run me a 28 (vehicle tag number) on J Juliet, N November, T tango 154. I am at highway 64 and Maple.
Sure, that comes back to a Paul subject of 234 River Run Road in La California
Central, I will be out of the car
Walking up to the drivers side of the vehicle; I ask for the drivers license and tell him I will be back in a minute as I start to walk back to my vehicle. I stop and ask the driver Paul, “What’s your friend’s name?” he smiles and tells me Silas. I just shake my head and return to sit in my car. I shake my head and mutter to myself this has been a long night.
“Central this is 121. I need a 27 (background) on the Paul subject and while you are on the subject. Check the NCIC for anything on a Silas character”.
“Dave it’s going to take a few. Its 04:30 on Sunday and they are putting data in”.
“That’s ok. I am tired anyway. I am working too many hours as a reserve officer. I may need to just work one weekend instead of two or slow down on firefighting…...something”.
“Dave, what do you have stopped anyway?”
Central, this is 121; give me a public service (cell phone)
Answering the cell and talking to a familiar voice. Hey Mike, “this is one of those of crazy stops. I was sitting at the light on 64 and this car pulled up beside me and motioned for me to roll my window down and when I did they started telling me about the love of Jesus. They asked me if I knew Jesus and they wanted to share some scripture with me. I just shook my head and rolled the window back up. You have to be crazy to pull along a deputy’s car at 04:30 in the morning and ask that stupid stuff. Heck, I am a deacon in my church. I don’t need to know about Jesus. As soon as the light changed I pulled in behind them and lit them up”.
I will just put suspicious characters in my log. I don’t detect alcohol
Dave, you want the canine unit out there.
No Mike lets get this over. I don’t think that’s the problem. I sure don’t want 2 hours worth of paper work. It’s been a long night already. Four 911 domestic violence calls and 3 DUI’s. I need a break.
“Dave, by the way, my wife and I really love your new church and the 4 acre lake by it”.
“We do too Mike. Best thing of all is the location. We had to move from that area of town. The congregation was being taken over by some Laotians, ****s and even some blacks had started to attend. It was getting to be where the people in the church were starting to look like roll call at the UN instead of a good upstanding white church”
.
“Hey Dave the 27 came back. It was negative on that Silas Character but the Paul subject has got a hazy past. I think he worked for the Government in tax collection and maybe got fired. He was labeled as a trouble maker. Both have hits from Homeland Security Department but just as notables”
“Dave what you going to do with them now”
“I am going to let them go. No I got it. I will escort them to the Mississippi Line and let them scoot and promise to never return. That’s all we need in this neck of the woods is a bunch of Jesus Freaks. We sure don’t need them showing up at church. Mike just make out a card on this for record purposes. I got to let them scoot and I need to chill some”.
“I have got to meet some important potential members that have moved into town. There are two doctors I am taking to golf at 07:30 and then show them our church. You know Good jobs and Good tithes go hand in hand.
Then at 10:00 be at the front door. You know us deacons got to meet and greet.
I got out of my patrol car and walked up to their vehicle and handed Paul a warning ticket and then call central
“Central this is 121 show me 10-8” (back in service)
_____________________________
if you want the mission accomlished overnight..dont call Fed-Ex call a Navy Seal Team
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RE: Should I go to a different church - 11/2/2008 12:32:29 AM
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firefighter38310
Posts: 36
Joined: 10/13/2008
Status: offline
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i noticed some astericks in what i had written.above. it wasnt a curse word but some slang . the slang was not meant offend but for the reader to understand slang isnt what God intened for us to use.
thanks dave
_____________________________
if you want the mission accomlished overnight..dont call Fed-Ex call a Navy Seal Team
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RE: Should I go to a different church - 11/2/2008 12:58:52 AM
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Liveloved
Posts: 2069
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: ppodmama
My husband, who was an Elder at church, recently voluntarily stepped down because of a behavioral issue. Consequently members of church were informed he was stepping down voluntarily because of a personal indiscretion, but didn't know specifically why.
We have been dearly loved by everyone at church, receiving encouragement and loving notes, and, even according to pastors, no one has said a word that was bad against us to them, in fact, some thought the wording of the letter was too hard on him. Talk about love, eh?
I fully support my husband, he is a wonderful man, dealing with an issue.
However, I do no wish to attend our church anymore. I have always been an intensely private person, and because our extended families are not Christians the church has been a place of refuge for me. But now that I am aware all our members know our circumstance, I feel every time they look at me they don't see me, they see the problem.
I want to go somewhere where I can be me again.
Our church really is like family and we have attended for 15 years, I just suffer so much while I am there. Any thoughts....
I know the suffering you are going through, dear one, but I would tell you to stay the course. Pain does not mean you are in the wrong place---and often it means just the opposite. We learn the most when we are in the places that bring us pain. The Lord is doing a mighty work in you and your husband---and He will work it for good. Believe that. Fix your eyes on Jesus. Not on yourself. Not on your husband's issue. And not on the members of your church. Just continually say thank You, Jesus, for this wonderful work You are bringing to fruition in my life and in the life of all those I fellowship with. And then watch and pray as His work unfolds. Bless you, dear one. The Lord loves you and has great plans for you. What you are going through is His blessing upon you. Receive it with love and gratitude.
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RE: Should I go to a different church - 11/2/2008 1:22:32 PM
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ppodmama
Posts: 22
Joined: 10/31/2008
From: Midwest
Status: offline
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Thank you all for your input. At the outset let me just say imagine if your sin life was displayed for other people to see. All sin is the same in God's eyes and they equally stink. The only difference between us and those in our church is I don't know their issues, but they know ours. Really, take the time and imagine that it is you exposed. Some of your replies may have been a bit more compassionate, but I understand zeal as well.
After spending a long time disucssing this, we decided to take a day off of church. We have to face this issue all week long and need a day of rest. Some of you, I note, are being critical without knowing any of my history and why church is a refuge for me, so I take those with a grain of salt. We will take it week to week as to whether we feel strong enough to face the uncomfortable nature of it or not. You can choose to not like that, it's okay with me. I know that for the last 15 years we have only missed going to church if we were out of town or something like that. We pray and read our Bible everyday.
Our pastor (and very close friend) even told us if he was in our situation he would want to move too just to have a clean start. So we are praying and following God's lead.
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RE: Should I go to a different church - 11/2/2008 1:29:34 PM
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misty35
Posts: 614
Joined: 9/22/2008
From: Arkansas
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: ppodmama
Thank you all for your input. At the outset let me just say imagine if your sin life was displayed for other people to see. All sin is the same in God's eyes and they equally stink. The only difference between us and those in our church is I don't know their issues, but they know ours. Really, take the time and imagine that it is you exposed. Some of your replies may have been a bit more compassionate, but I understand zeal as well.
After spending a long time disucssing this, we decided to take a day off of church. We have to face this issue all week long and need a day of rest. Some of you, I note, are being critical without knowing any of my history and why church is a refuge for me, so I take those with a grain of salt. We will take it week to week as to whether we feel strong enough to face the uncomfortable nature of it or not. You can choose to not like that, it's okay with me. I know that for the last 15 years we have only missed going to church if we were out of town or something like that. We pray and read our Bible everyday.
Our pastor (and very close friend) even told us if he was in our situation he would want to move too just to have a clean start. So we are praying and following God's lead.
Hi,
I agree with you, and understand what your saying here....no one knows what your going through, and thats why my advice to you was, "Give it to the Lord." He will answer you, and show you what to do. Im sorry you are faced with such a difficult situation, but God may have other plans for you, just try to look at it from a different perspective, it may not be all that bad after all. Im praying for you and your family, and Im believing that God will answer you.
_____________________________
"For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind." 2 Timothy 1:7
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RE: Should I go to a different church - 11/2/2008 9:39:30 PM
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Covaan_Meshuga
Posts: 3417
Joined: 6/8/2005
From: a mother who let me live
Status: offline
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Well, Ppodmama, you had lready been given advice from your pastor, and you already knew what you wanted to do when you came here. We wrote what we were thinking, but in the end, we all do what we choose to do. 
But please don't think that some of us have not faced these things ourselves. Indeed, we have.  I was kicked out not because I had sinned but because I refused to continue to take off my wedding band anymore; however, we have faced faced issues similar to the one you seem to be indicating.
_____________________________
Abiyah
"Ladies and gentlemen, there are things that you will only be able to learn by the weakest among us, and when you snuff them out, you are the one that loses." ~~Gianna Jesson, 1977 LA, CA, saline abortion survivor
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RE: Should I go to a different church - 11/3/2008 8:23:39 AM
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seagullplayer
Posts: 117
Joined: 9/18/2007
Status: offline
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I guess I would ask, what did your Church family do wrong?
What would you have had them do?
If someone from your Church got picked up for DWI and everyone read it in the paper, would you recommend they find a new Church?
_____________________________
The world has only one problem, sin.
There is only one solution, Jesus.
THE WAY.
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RE: Should I go to a different church - 11/3/2008 8:27:43 AM
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drussell52
Posts: 223
Joined: 4/24/2008
From: Michigan
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: AboundinginHisGrace
Well church is where you should be able to talk about your life the good and the bad. That is what the body of Christ is for. You need to be able to be open with fellow Christians. I do not know the whole situation, but your relationship with fellow Christians especially your home church should be helpful not hurtful. I will pray for you guys.
My answer would be, pray about that.. If you want to go somewhere, where you can be me again as you put it, I would stay there because you have 15 years with many of those folk. I am sure some to several have moved elsewhere in the 15 years you have been with this congregation. If you choose to move on, give yourself time, and the new people time to let you fully be you and they, be them with you. Evidently your issue is right out there, where most of us keep ours locked inside for fear of experiencing what you say, people notice the problem not me, gauged by their facial expressions by you. Back to my initial, pray about this, and we will be also praying with you for wisdom; include hubby too. God be with and bless you!!
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RE: Should I go to a different church - 11/3/2008 9:53:32 AM
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deermousie
Posts: 1946
Joined: 9/26/2007
Status: online
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One of the marks of revival going on in several places in America is a prayer service where people stand up and publically confess their sin, often with tears. I heard about a prayer service in Wheaton that lasted all night because of this.
Ppodmama, it could be you guys are the tip of an iceberg that God is going to sweep your church with, and a lot of people are going to get right before God. Even King David asked God to forgive his secret sins, and the whole country knew about Absalom killing his brother who raped his sister because the army killed Absalom after he drove King David back into the desert in fear of his life. <takes a breath> Everyone knew. And we know about David's dalliance with Bathsheba because there was a murdered husband and illigetimate child who died, and the drama has been public for 3000 years (so far). And yet David was a man after God's own heart, and it's not his sin we remember him for. It comforts us in that our sin wasn't that bad and yet David was God's top man. We have hope.
It was good that your husband voluntarily confessed his sin without being forced to. It's not necessary that people know all the details, but it might have made a cleaner break with the sin to confess the broad brushstrokes to the adults of the church. Most churches are full of waxed and polished members, and it could start a chain reaction for people to come clean, burn down the false image and build on the freshly swept foundation of Christ in us as our only boast.
People knew the Apostle Paul had put Christians in prison and had gotten some of them executed. It took a long time for some Christians to trust him because of his background. Yet he went on to write half the New Testament and has been held in great reverence for almost 2000 years.
I think that every mature Christian will tell you when asked who they are, "A sinner, saved by grace." I'm not pulling any punches: I am a sinner, too. It's uncomfortable and I have to give up any thought of what a great person I am. Only by God's grace can I do anything because I'm a sinner. I deserve death and hell, and God has given the blood of Christ to wash me. I'd be sunk otherwise. All I have is what has been given to me, and I have no basis to think I'm somebody special. I battle sin in my life every day, and I hate it. I have to choose whether I'm going to entertain some "harmless" indulgence or treat it like the cute little rattlesnake that it is. Most of the time, I choose God over pleasure. Sometimes I fall on my face and have to turn away from my sin later when it's caused complications that make it even harder. The blood is my only rescue. I know who I am: a sinner saved by grace. If people think less of me, my focus must still be Jesus and I don't see those people behind me.
C.S. Lewis put it beautifully in "The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe" in that Edmund didn't mind people knowing he had been a traitor because 1) he knew he had been a traitor and 2) he had his eyes full of Aslan, who had forgiven him.
May your heart be comforted in Christ and the wonderful work He has done in you. May your example start a fresh sweeping of revival in your church and community by the Holy Spirit. God bless you! (((hugs)))
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