RE: my best friend's wife is unfaithful, how should a Christian handle this?
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RE: my best friend's wife is unfaithful, how should a C... - 11/8/2008 5:29:46 PM
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cantckaja
Posts: 16
Joined: 7/2/2005
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: misty35
I must admit, its a very difficult situation, and Im sure its not easy for you. Have you decided how you are going to handle this?
im going to try to talk to her about her spirituality and not being a stumbling block for her husband, and hopefully God will get her involved again and she will tell him. i'm not the only one who knows and she has a lot of enemies that know, so realistically it will come out sooner or later, its just a matter of how it should be broken to the husband
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RE: my best friend's wife is unfaithful, how should a C... - 11/8/2008 7:03:42 PM
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Dan1138
Posts: 236
Joined: 7/1/2008
From: The Land of Graham
Status: offline
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Listen to Chrisovery and myself and RC. I have a LOT of experience here. This is Matthew 18 Church discipline territory more than just about anything else. I rebuke you and all the posters here who say this should be handled in some other form.
1 Go to her and confront her in love, if you are male bring your wife.
2 If she does anything other than public repentance then go to her with an elder, pastor, deacon and your wife.
3 If she does not repent, go to the elders and pastor and ask that they publicly rebuke her.
This was just done by none other than John Piper at Bethlehem Baptist Church on Sunday morning, and by the way Piper's church is several campuses with a national radio ministry and all the "trimmings." God continues to bless John Pipers ministry. John MacArthur of "Grace to You," President of the Masters College, and his own huge fellowship in California holds to the teachings of Matt 18. God will bless godly discipline, and church leaders should be held in public account. This is NOT GOSSIP. This will kill your church.
_____________________________
My Christian walk is like a car ride. "How long Lord. OK I'll be patient......How long Lord!"
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RE: my best friend's wife is unfaithful, how should a C... - 11/8/2008 7:20:36 PM
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cantckaja
Posts: 16
Joined: 7/2/2005
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Dan1138
Listen to Chrisovery and myself and RC. I have a LOT of experience here. This is Matthew 18 Church discipline territory more than just about anything else. I rebuke you and all the posters here who say this should be handled in some other form.
1 Go to her and confront her in love, if you are male bring your wife.
2 If she does anything other than public repentance then go to her with an elder, pastor, deacon and your wife.
3 If she does not repent, go to the elders and pastor and ask that they publicly rebuke her.
This was just done by none other than John Piper at Bethlehem Baptist Church on Sunday morning, and by the way Piper's church is several campuses with a national radio ministry and all the "trimmings." God continues to bless John Pipers ministry. John MacArthur of "Grace to You," President of the Masters College, and his own huge fellowship in California holds to the teachings of Matt 18. God will bless godly discipline, and church leaders should be held in public account. This is NOT GOSSIP. This will kill your church.
i get what you're saying, yet i continue to pray and do not feel as though God, at least at this time, is calling me to do this. her underlying issue is erroding spirituality, which i WILL talk to her about.
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RE: my best friend's wife is unfaithful, how should a C... - 11/8/2008 7:26:21 PM
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misty35
Posts: 614
Joined: 9/22/2008
From: Arkansas
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: cantckaja
quote:
ORIGINAL: Dan1138
Listen to Chrisovery and myself and RC. I have a LOT of experience here. This is Matthew 18 Church discipline territory more than just about anything else. I rebuke you and all the posters here who say this should be handled in some other form.
1 Go to her and confront her in love, if you are male bring your wife.
2 If she does anything other than public repentance then go to her with an elder, pastor, deacon and your wife.
3 If she does not repent, go to the elders and pastor and ask that they publicly rebuke her.
This was just done by none other than John Piper at Bethlehem Baptist Church on Sunday morning, and by the way Piper's church is several campuses with a national radio ministry and all the "trimmings." God continues to bless John Pipers ministry. John MacArthur of "Grace to You," President of the Masters College, and his own huge fellowship in California holds to the teachings of Matt 18. God will bless godly discipline, and church leaders should be held in public account. This is NOT GOSSIP. This will kill your church.
i get what you're saying, yet i continue to pray and do not feel as though God, at least at this time, is calling me to do this. her underlying issue is erroding spirituality, which i WILL talk to her about.
I dont feel that He is either...so many people feel that Matthew 18, is a license for an attack on another believer and it calls for a church trial as I have stated earlier, and that is not what it means, so I hope and pray, before you even consider doing something like this, that you will clearly know for sure, and have a answer from God, and not advice from others before doing this.
_____________________________
"For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind." 2 Timothy 1:7 
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RE: my best friend's wife is unfaithful, how should a C... - 11/14/2008 12:06:50 AM
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Dan1138
Posts: 236
Joined: 7/1/2008
From: The Land of Graham
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: cantckaja
quote:
ORIGINAL: Dan1138
Listen to Chrisovery and myself and RC. I have a LOT of experience here. This is Matthew 18 Church discipline territory more than just about anything else. I rebuke you and all the posters here who say this should be handled in some other form.
1 Go to her and confront her in love, if you are male bring your wife.
2 If she does anything other than public repentance then go to her with an elder, pastor, deacon and your wife.
3 If she does not repent, go to the elders and pastor and ask that they publicly rebuke her.
This was just done by none other than John Piper at Bethlehem Baptist Church on Sunday morning, and by the way Piper's church is several campuses with a national radio ministry and all the "trimmings." God continues to bless John Pipers ministry. John MacArthur of "Grace to You," President of the Masters College, and his own huge fellowship in California holds to the teachings of Matt 18. God will bless godly discipline, and church leaders should be held in public account. This is NOT GOSSIP. This will kill your church.
i get what you're saying, yet i continue to pray and do not feel as though God, at least at this time, is calling me to do this. her underlying issue is erroding spirituality, which i WILL talk to her about.
Your feelings do not matter here. Our hearts are the chief of our deception of ourselves. What does the WORD OF GOD say to do in this situation. Matt 18 speaks directly. You are walking on unsteady ground. I have prayed for you. Please pray and study Matt 18. You could end a world of hurt for many people. This could go on and on.
_____________________________
My Christian walk is like a car ride. "How long Lord. OK I'll be patient......How long Lord!"
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RE: my best friend's wife is unfaithful, how should a C... - 11/14/2008 12:12:30 AM
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Dan1138
Posts: 236
Joined: 7/1/2008
From: The Land of Graham
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: misty35
quote:
ORIGINAL: cantckaja
quote:
ORIGINAL: Dan1138
Listen to Chrisovery and myself and RC. I have a LOT of experience here. This is Matthew 18 Church discipline territory more than just about anything else. I rebuke you and all the posters here who say this should be handled in some other form.
1 Go to her and confront her in love, if you are male bring your wife.
2 If she does anything other than public repentance then go to her with an elder, pastor, deacon and your wife.
3 If she does not repent, go to the elders and pastor and ask that they publicly rebuke her.
This was just done by none other than John Piper at Bethlehem Baptist Church on Sunday morning, and by the way Piper's church is several campuses with a national radio ministry and all the "trimmings." God continues to bless John Pipers ministry. John MacArthur of "Grace to You," President of the Masters College, and his own huge fellowship in California holds to the teachings of Matt 18. God will bless godly discipline, and church leaders should be held in public account. This is NOT GOSSIP. This will kill your church.
i get what you're saying, yet i continue to pray and do not feel as though God, at least at this time, is calling me to do this. her underlying issue is erroding spirituality, which i WILL talk to her about.
I dont feel that He is either...so many people feel that Matthew 18, is a license for an attack on another believer and it calls for a church trial as I have stated earlier, and that is not what it means, so I hope and pray, before you even consider doing something like this, that you will clearly know for sure, and have a answer from God, and not advice from others before doing this.
Misty35 read Matthew 18 again. It is to be done in love and kindness to win a brother over. Many use Matt 18 as an excuse to be abusive. I think that is what you are cautioning about and that is good, but Matt 18 is also clear and in plain language:
15"(M)If your brother sins, go and show him his fault in private;
if he listens to you, you have won your brother.
16"But if he does not listen to you, take one or two more with you, so that (N)BY THE MOUTH OF TWO OR THREE WITNESSES EVERY FACT MAY BE CONFIRMED.
17"If he refuses to listen to them, (O)tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, (P)let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector.
_____________________________
My Christian walk is like a car ride. "How long Lord. OK I'll be patient......How long Lord!"
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RE: my best friend's wife is unfaithful, how should a C... - 11/14/2008 3:01:58 PM
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jaggie
Posts: 36
Joined: 11/6/2008
Status: offline
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I remember my head pastor saying something about this sort of thing not too long ago and how it and other major sins like it would be handled at our church if/when they happened. Quite frankly it was one of the things that made me join as a member.
Everyone sins, and that's going to happen because of our sinful nature as human beings, but if you're unrepentant and we find out, expect someone from this church to be showing up on your doorstep to talk to you about it. That was the gist of it and it was said during a new members or spiritual maturity class. I don't remember which.
Don't talk to your friend or the unfaithful party without someone else there, even if that person says nothing and is just a witness. Infidelity is guaranteed to provoke an hyperemotional response, particularly if one or both parties are not ready to hear about it. You could find yourself on the business end of someone's fist if you are not careful, friends or not.
It could be that your friend knows but doesn't want to know, if you catch what I am saying. Or maybe he's hired a private investigator and hasn't told you. There are any number of ways this could play out and things like this don't usually go undiscovered for very long. He might just be waiting to hear back from his attorney for all you know.
You didn't witness it with your own eyes. You might better stay out of it.
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RE: my best friend's wife is unfaithful, how should a C... - 11/15/2008 2:46:28 AM
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11arrows
Posts: 39
Joined: 11/14/2008
Status: offline
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I know this will be an unpopular opinion, but, why don't you just mind your own business? I mean it has nothing to do with you. Let them handle their business, and you handle your business. It's impossible to go wrong if you do this.
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RE: my best friend's wife is unfaithful, how should a C... - 11/16/2008 2:52:37 PM
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rrayy81
Posts: 5
Joined: 5/8/2008
Status: offline
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P.U.S.H. PRAY UNTIL SOMETHING HAPPENS
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RE: my best friend's wife is unfaithful, how should a C... - 11/17/2008 6:34:01 PM
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rcjames
Posts: 5771
Joined: 7/15/2005
From: Oklahoma
Status: offline
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I have been considering this thread for a few days and tje attempts to try and mke the situation fit to Matt 18 or vice versa; and it just does not fit, for the woman in questions has done nothing to the OP.
But here is a Scripture that is very similiar, but fits a lot better;
(Gal 6:1) Brethren, if a man be overtaken in a fault, ye which are spiritual, restore such an one in the spirit of meekness; considering thyself, lest thou also be tempted.
cantckaja, do not go to the husband, but go to the one you suppose is sinning (The wife). Try and to restore her to the Kingdom by the spirit of meekness (humility), understanding all the while that you are also subject to similiar infractions.
If you are a man, then take a woman with you, but do not go to the husband. Be obedient to Scripture and help a Christian who has stumbled.
Thanks
RC
_____________________________
Just a country Preacher's humble opinion
Read the first chapter of my latest book here;
http://www.deliveranceofsara.com
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RE: my best friend's wife is unfaithful, how should a C... - 11/21/2008 9:37:00 PM
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Dan1138
Posts: 236
Joined: 7/1/2008
From: The Land of Graham
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: rcjames
I have been considering this thread for a few days and tje attempts to try and mke the situation fit to Matt 18 or vice versa; and it just does not fit, for the woman in questions has done nothing to the OP.
But here is a Scripture that is very similiar, but fits a lot better;
(Gal 6:1) Brethren, if a man be overtaken in a fault, ye which are spiritual, restore such an one in the spirit of meekness; considering thyself, lest thou also be tempted.
cantckaja, do not go to the husband, but go to the one you suppose is sinning (The wife). Try and to restore her to the Kingdom by the spirit of meekness (humility), understanding all the while that you are also subject to similiar infractions.
If you are a man, then take a woman with you, but do not go to the husband. Be obedient to Scripture and help a Christian who has stumbled.
Thanks
RC
What RC said. But I see Matt 18 as fitting. You go to the one who is sinning, that is very true.
These things often go on for years and tear homes, children and fellowships (churches) to shreds.
Someone said Satan is more interested in being at church on Sunday to pervert a saint than being out with the perverts on Saturday night.
_____________________________
My Christian walk is like a car ride. "How long Lord. OK I'll be patient......How long Lord!"
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RE: my best friend's wife is unfaithful, how should a C... - 11/22/2008 1:46:48 PM
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AbbyGrace
Posts: 660
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Dan1138
quote:
ORIGINAL: rcjames
I have been considering this thread for a few days and tje attempts to try and mke the situation fit to Matt 18 or vice versa; and it just does not fit, for the woman in questions has done nothing to the OP.
But here is a Scripture that is very similiar, but fits a lot better;
(Gal 6:1) Brethren, if a man be overtaken in a fault, ye which are spiritual, restore such an one in the spirit of meekness; considering thyself, lest thou also be tempted.
cantckaja, do not go to the husband, but go to the one you suppose is sinning (The wife). Try and to restore her to the Kingdom by the spirit of meekness (humility), understanding all the while that you are also subject to similiar infractions.
If you are a man, then take a woman with you, but do not go to the husband. Be obedient to Scripture and help a Christian who has stumbled.
Thanks
RC
What RC said. But I see Matt 18 as fitting. You go to the one who is sinning, that is very true.
These things often go on for years and tear homes, children and fellowships (churches) to shreds.
Someone said Satan is more interested in being at church on Sunday to pervert a saint than being out with the perverts on Saturday night.
You got that right Dan1138
_____________________________
Hebrews 12:14 "Make every effort to live in peace with all men and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord." 
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