RE: Have you ever been inappropriately touched or exposed to something of a sexual nature?
View related threads:
(in this forum
| in all forums)
|
Logged in as: Guest
|
|
Users viewing this topic:
none
|
|
|
[Poll]
|
Have you ever been inappropriately touched or exposed to something of a sexual nature?
|
| Yes |
|
| No |
|
Total Votes : 102
|
(last vote on : 1/9/2009 4:57:42 AM)
(Poll will run till: -- )
|
|
Login  | |
|
RE: Have you ever been inappropriately touched or expos... - 11/16/2008 9:46:14 PM
|
|
|
BeeLuvsAva
Posts: 1237
Joined: 10/23/2008
Status: offline
|
quote:
ORIGINAL: phosadaud
quote:
ORIGINAL: BugLady
One thing I do know. When attempting to comfort someone who has been raped, you should never say, "Buck up. There are worse things that could happen."
What's sad is that a lot of folks don't get that...  
quote:
ORIGINAL: CoeurdeLeon
quote:
It is shocking to see how many people have gone through things like this, I know when it was happening to me I never thought anyone else went through it, and that it was very rare, but when I was 16 and it finally stopped and things came out in the open, I realized that sadly it happens to so many of us.
I never really thought about how common it probably is until last evening and today. But when I did think about it, I knew just from hearing about my friends' and families' experiences since becoming an adult that the results would be as they are.
Still, actually seeing it and reading your stories is incredibly saddening.
But it does need to be talked about. So many women feel so alone and so isolated.
Yes I agree! there are so many people who go into depression because they think that they are singled out, they think they are the only one's, and then they start to think what is wrong with them, did they encourage this in any way? what they did to deserve it.
You know what? no one deserves to have it happen to them, no one deserves to be that confused and frustrated, and questioning life.
It is truly sad and breaks my heart!
_____________________________
We enjoy warmth because we have been cold.
We appreciate light because we have been in darkness.
By the same token, we can experience joy because we have known sadness.
-David Weatherford
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Have you ever been inappropriately touched or expos... - 11/16/2008 10:03:37 PM
|
|
|
CoeurdeLeon_
Posts: 9048
Joined: 9/4/2005
From: Inside my head
Status: offline
|
quote:
ORIGINAL: phosadaud
quote:
ORIGINAL: BugLady
One thing I do know. When attempting to comfort someone who has been raped, you should never say, "Buck up. There are worse things that could happen."
What's sad is that a lot of folks don't get that...
quote:
ORIGINAL: CoeurdeLeon
quote:
It is shocking to see how many people have gone through things like this, I know when it was happening to me I never thought anyone else went through it, and that it was very rare, but when I was 16 and it finally stopped and things came out in the open, I realized that sadly it happens to so many of us.
I never really thought about how common it probably is until last evening and today. But when I did think about it, I knew just from hearing about my friends' and families' experiences since becoming an adult that the results would be as they are.
Still, actually seeing it and reading your stories is incredibly saddening.
But it does need to be talked about. So many women feel so alone and so isolated.
I think - no, I know that you're right. And it's good for us to remind each other that what happened was wrong and unacceptable and not any of our own doing because, as you pointed out, we don't tell ourselves the same things we tell others who've had the same experience.
_____________________________
This morning I was awakened by the sound of purple
colliding with the fragrance of laughter.
Eutychus
New Blog
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Have you ever been inappropriately touched or expos... - 11/16/2008 10:22:41 PM
|
|
|
Grace-N-Mercy
Posts: 6040
Joined: 5/2/2005
Status: offline
|
quote:
ORIGINAL: CoeurdeLeon
I think - no, I know that you're right. And it's good for us to remind each other that what happened was wrong and unacceptable and not any of our own doing because, as you pointed out, we don't tell ourselves the same things we tell others who've had the same experience.
Do you remember the movie Good Will Hunting? I cry every time they get to the part where Sean repeats the phrase "It's not your fault."
_____________________________
<-- When did Hollywood go from classy to 'cheap & easy'?
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Have you ever been inappropriately touched or expos... - 11/17/2008 8:06:09 AM
|
|
|
WhiteRoseBlessings
Posts: 23499
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Here . . . but subject to change; stay tuned
Status: offline
|
quote:
ORIGINAL: CoeurdeLeon
I'm saddened but not surprised by the poll results and posts so far. I think that so often when we know of women and children who have been raped and/or molested, many of us completely discount those lesser "incidents" that we've experienced. The groping, the inappropriate touch that left us feeling shamed, the being forced to see porn...but those things are tragically a part of many women's lifetime experience and they were wrong, too. Will a moderator please give Lioness' post some stars. If ever one deserved it, this one certainly does.
_____________________________
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Have you ever been inappropriately touched or expos... - 11/17/2008 8:08:54 AM
|
|
|
WhiteRoseBlessings
Posts: 23499
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Here . . . but subject to change; stay tuned
Status: offline
|
quote:
ORIGINAL: karlie
Never as a child, but last year, I had a sexual harassment issue with someone in one of my classes at school. At first, it was just a come-on. When I made it clear I was married and not interested, he got aggressive and suggestive in the looks he gave me. I tried to ignore it, thinking he'd give up if he got no reaction, but one day he pushed himself up against me when I was walking through the door, and more less held me there for a couple of seconds. He said "sorry" like it was an accident, but it was very obvious it was intentional. He kept watching me in class that day and was beyond crude if I happened to glance up and see him.
I decided I had to report him and had a big mess of filing reports, re-telling the story to authorities, etc. But, he got expelled from our university, so it was well worth the hassle.
Karlie, I have often thought about this story since it first happened. Whenever I think about it, I also think about how incredibly proud I am of you for what you did. 
_____________________________
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Have you ever been inappropriately touched or expos... - 11/17/2008 8:10:18 AM
|
|
|
WhiteRoseBlessings
Posts: 23499
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Here . . . but subject to change; stay tuned
Status: offline
|
quote:
ORIGINAL: manda59
quote:
ORIGINAL: betterisoneday
I voted yes, but I'm kinda on the confused side of all this, I figure I didn't end up pregnant or with broken bones so it's not fair to those who went through worse to really let myself feel bad about it.
My way of thinking is that it's not what we go through, it's how we feel/it affects us that counts.
Your trauma over what happened is just as valid as anyone else's.
Amen.
_____________________________
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Have you ever been inappropriately touched or expos... - 11/17/2008 8:18:39 AM
|
|
|
WhiteRoseBlessings
Posts: 23499
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Here . . . but subject to change; stay tuned
Status: offline
|
Pardon me, please, for spamming the thread. I'm just now reading it in its entirety.
Ironically, yesterday, when this thread was started, I was with a friend of mine who revealed to me that she was repeatedly raped by two of her brothers when she was growing up.
I wasn't really shocked neither. I told her later on that I had often wondered if something like that had happened to her.
The Good in that conversation, however, was how Our Lord has restored that family . . . when the rapes were occurring, none of her family members were Christian. When she became an adult, she, both of her parents, and all of her siblings became Christians . . . all within 6 months of each other. She also talked about how her relationship with one of her brothers that raped her has been healed and restored.
It was pretty amazing to hear.
_____________________________
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Have you ever been inappropriately touched or expos... - 11/17/2008 8:32:55 AM
|
|
|
Consecrated2God
Posts: 5146
Joined: 4/4/2005
From: Formerly Jesus Land
Status: online
|
Although it's awful how many of us have been through this, I think the good news is that it doesn't have to ruin our lives. We can overcome this and grow into normal, healthy adults anyway. I don't want to talk about details of what happened online simply because I don't want some pervert out there getting their jollies from reading about my experiences, but I can talk about it IRL without feeling guilt or shame. It wasn't my fault, and I know it. It's in the past and I rarely think about it.
_____________________________
Bonky
|
|
|
|
RE: Have you ever been inappropriately touched or expos... - 11/17/2008 9:02:04 AM
|
|
|
WhiteRoseBlessings
Posts: 23499
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Here . . . but subject to change; stay tuned
Status: offline
|
To all the ladies that have answered "yes" to this thread . . . {{{Y'all}}}
May Our Lord truly cover you and bless you.
Now . . . to answer the OP's question - yes.
When I was 3, I was continually sexually & often violently abused by 2 male teenaged babysitters for about 2 years.
What those boys did messed me up for quite a few years. It's God's Grace and Mercy that brought me through all of it and covered me until I could figure out for myself that I needed to heal from it.
Incidentally, those boys also probably spoke curses over me, as well.
I know this, because about 8 years ago, during church, I felt a "push" by Our Lord's Holy Spirit to go up for prayer. I had no idea as to why, though.
As I approached the man (whom I didn't know, and who was the only available person for prayer), he started joyously laughing and thanking Our Lord. We had never even met nor seen each other prior to that.
He grabbed my hands and said, "Our Lord's Holy Spirit has just told me to tell you that the curses didn't take!" I had no idea what he meant and I just kinda stood there, looking at him. He then said, "The curses that were spoken over your life when you were 3 years old . . . they didn't take, and you need to know that!" I was completely astonished. I was also experiencing quite a confirmation in my spirit that what this man was saying was true.
The curses didn't take!!! 
I later found out that this man has a very high degree of integrity and that he doesn't carelessly and flippantly say things that start with "Our Lord said . . ."
But there were 34 years between my experiences with the babysitters and that wonderful Sunday morning, and many of those years were spent living in reaction to what happened when I was a toddler.
Those babysitters also used to tell me that when I would become a woman, that they were going to have to help the process along. (I've cleaned up the language quite a bit from what they actually said). I never forgot that; and when I started developing, I was so confused. I remember thinking, "Am I supposed to go to them now?" (No, I never did, but I also felt very awkward around them, as if I was the one that had done something wrong).
BTW, both babysitters went to the same church that I did all through my childhood. They also lived in the same neighborhood as i did.
After a couple of years, they both stopped being my babysitters.
When I was in the 9th grade, I was gang-raped by 3 guys (and sometimes up to 5 guys) everyday after school for a period of 3-months. They told me that I was to meet them at this certain spot every day; and that if I didn't, they would kill me. Periodically, they would beat me up, just to re-emphasize that particular point.
Eventually, I decided that I would rather be dead. So I met them one last day and told them I wasn't going to let them touch me ever again and that if they want to kill me then they had better just do it right then and there. I also told them that if they didn't kill me then they better not ever touch me again and if they did, I would report them to the principal's office.
They never touched me again; however, they started horrible rumors about me that spread very quickly through school.
After that, I became very promiscuous for a few years. I did it partly because I truly thought that is why I was born and partly because I was very afraid of saying "no" to men.
BUT!!!
Our Lord has healed all of that! He brought me through all that junk and He completed covered it with HIM.
A few / several years ago, I was at a friend's house and she sent her husband to the grocery store for something. He asked if I wanted to come along; which I thought was very weird - but I was still second-guessing myself with things like that, so I didn't say anything because I didn't want to appear weird, backward, prudish, etc. . . . especially since my friend (his wife) didn't seem to mind if I went to the store with him.
He walked out the front door before me, and as soon as I had walked out and shut the door, he turned around, shoved me up against the door and kissed me.
And all those old tapes came back . . . "This is my fault," "You better do what he wants," etc., etc.
But THAT is when I truly found my voice; my permanent voice!
Today, I don't care if people think I'm a prude or that I'm weird or anything else.
Sexual sin is sexual sin, and I want no part of it.
And no female should ever be inappropriately touched or have inappropriate things said to her.
And little girls and confused, scared teenagers and even full-grown women are not play toys for the male population to do with whatever they want.
Today, if I don't feel comfortable around a man, there is no way at all that I am going to be alone with him for even a moment. If I don't feel comfortable around any of my friend's husbands, then there is no way that I will even go over to their house.
I have very clearly boundary lines today. And I don't second-guess myself anymore. If a man crosses my boundary lines, he will know it. I will be very polite about it, but also very firm about it.
_____________________________
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Have you ever been inappropriately touched or expos... - 11/17/2008 9:04:24 AM
|
|
|
WhiteRoseBlessings
Posts: 23499
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Here . . . but subject to change; stay tuned
Status: offline
|
quote:
ORIGINAL: Consecrated2God
Although it's awful how many of us have been through this, I think the good news is that it doesn't have to ruin our lives. We can overcome this and grow into normal, healthy adults anyway. I don't want to talk about details of what happened online simply because I don't want some pervert out there getting their jollies from reading about my experiences, but I can talk about it IRL without feeling guilt or shame. It wasn't my fault, and I know it. It's in the past and I rarely think about it.
We were crossposting . . .
I agree with the bolded parts very much.
_____________________________
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Have you ever been inappropriately touched or expos... - 11/17/2008 9:14:16 AM
|
|
|
CoeurdeLeon_
Posts: 9048
Joined: 9/4/2005
From: Inside my head
Status: offline
|
{{{{{Sharon-Marie}}}}}
_____________________________
This morning I was awakened by the sound of purple
colliding with the fragrance of laughter.
Eutychus
New Blog
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Have you ever been inappropriately touched or expos... - 11/17/2008 9:21:17 AM
|
|
|
WhiteRoseBlessings
Posts: 23499
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Here . . . but subject to change; stay tuned
Status: offline
|
Aww, {{{Lioness}}}
Thank you.
_____________________________
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Have you ever been inappropriately touched or expos... - 11/17/2008 10:23:35 AM
|
|
|
Consecrated2God
Posts: 5146
Joined: 4/4/2005
From: Formerly Jesus Land
Status: online
|
I gave you stars, Sharon-Marie. Praise God for what He's done in your life!
_____________________________
Bonky
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Have you ever been inappropriately touched or expos... - 11/17/2008 10:51:11 AM
|
|
|
Roberta_
Posts: 7427
Joined: 9/28/2007
From: East Bay Area
Status: offline
|
Thank you Sharon for sharing your testimony with us.
_____________________________
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Have you ever been inappropriately touched or expos... - 11/17/2008 11:11:51 AM
|
|
|
WhiteRoseBlessings
Posts: 23499
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Here . . . but subject to change; stay tuned
Status: offline
|
{{{Ellie-Mae}}
I hope this doesn't sound trite, but I truly love you.
_____________________________
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Have you ever been inappropriately touched or expos... - 11/17/2008 11:15:59 AM
|
|
|
WhiteRoseBlessings
Posts: 23499
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Here . . . but subject to change; stay tuned
Status: offline
|
quote:
ORIGINAL: Roberta_
Thank you Sharon for sharing your testimony with us.
Thank you, Roberta!
_____________________________
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Have you ever been inappropriately touched or expos... - 11/17/2008 11:33:12 AM
|
|
|
karlie
Posts: 16425
Joined: 4/10/2005
From: Central California
Status: offline
|
quote:
Karlie, I have often thought about this story since it first happened. Whenever I think about it, I also think about how incredibly proud I am of you for what you did
Thanks, Shar Mar  What I went through really was nothing compared to what many of you have here. It was very short-lived, and minor as far as the violation aspect goes, and I wasn't a helpless child. Unlike so many of you, I was an adult and had a way out and something I could do to stop it. My heart has always broken for children who are powerless in these situations and at the mercy of those who are supposed to care. You women are my heroes!
I'm so impressed with the way you ladies have handled the situations you have been through, and how you've come out on the other side...strong, compassionate towards others, and encouraging of other women. I see you all lifting each other up and reminding each other that none of you is at fault. That truly is allowing God to take what the enemy meant for destruction, and letting Him to use it for His glory. Only our God can do that!
_____________________________
You can't stop the waves, but you can learn how to surf~
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Have you ever been inappropriately touched or expos... - 11/17/2008 11:59:15 AM
|
|
|
jesuschick247
Posts: 2886
Status: offline
|
I voted yes, even though nothing as bad as what some of you all have been through...yes.
Mostly by guys at school and even by a couple of guys at youth group...it still makes me want to throw-up just thinking about it.
But, God heals and mends us and I know one day I will meet someone who loves me for who I am and that is all that really matters!
_____________________________
"The memories erased...Baby, that's the BEAUTY of GRACE!"
"Always be a first-rate version of yourself, rather than a second-rate version of someone else." - Judy Garland
|
|
|
|
|
Forum Tools
Printable Version
