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RE: need some advice - 12/3/2008 3:30:44 AM
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musicboss11
Posts: 728
Joined: 5/4/2005
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All you have to go on right now is gossip. I think the best thing to do right now is to stay close to the girl in question, and continue to be her mentor.
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RE: need some advice - 12/3/2008 6:20:20 AM
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csl7037
Posts: 2080
Joined: 3/24/2008
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quote:
ORIGINAL: musicboss11
All you have to go on right now is gossip. I think the best thing to do right now is to stay close to the girl in question, and continue to be her mentor.
and refrain from the gossip (don't engage in it, don't encourage it, and don't let it take place in your group).
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RE: need some advice - 12/3/2008 2:57:58 PM
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deermousie
Posts: 1943
Joined: 9/26/2007
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I have trouble figuring out what is gossip sometimes. I have heard that it's gossip if you aren't part of the problem or part of the solution. As a leader in these gals' lives, you might be part of the solution.
The person who told you should have talked to the gal instead of you(Matt. 18:15 ff), but that specifically says if your brother (sister) sins against you. Eph. 5:11 talks about having no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness but exposing them. Fornication is an excommunicable sin where unrepentents are to be shunned (don't even eat with such a one).
1 Corinthians 5:11
But actually, I wrote to you not to associate with any so-called brother if he is an immoral person, or covetous, or an idolater, or a reviler, or a drunkard, or a swindler--not even to eat with such a one.
Coming to you as a group leader is a probable solution, but really she should go to the gal herself and rebuke her in love. If the gal doesn't repent, then go back to her (with the pastor is a good idea) with witnesses and rebuke her in love again. If she doesn't repent, then the pastor takes over and counsels her... and maybe starts church discipline against her.
And if the gal is indeed sinning, the guy's pastor should probably be brought in to this. These people have driven a wedge between themselves and God, and their salvation is in question (not that they lose it, but their behavior advertizes they never had it to begin with).
If it turns out the "gossipper" is lying, then the pastor needs to deal with her, and it's for you to call her to repentence. That's bearing false witness, a big sin.
Go do the right thing. God's shepherds are there to protect the flock - sometimes from themselves. God bless you; I am praying for you and them today.
_____________________________
Want to know where a certain word or phrase in the Bible is found? www.biblegateway.com Yay!
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RE: need some advice - 12/3/2008 6:04:18 PM
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jaimestarcross
Posts: 765
Joined: 11/28/2005
Status: online
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I would advise gathering more information about this
situation before confronting.
Is the person who told you honest and has an established
reputation as being reliable? Does this person often repeat
something she's heard? did she check things out and to
see if the girl is spending inappropriate time alone with her
boyfriend? Or did she just pass on rumors/gossip?
As a mentor you can have a private chat with the young lady
about this matter if you have a real proof that she's compromising
her faith walk. Check things out before doing any type of interrogation...
remember, this discussion should be done out of love.
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RE: need some advice - 12/3/2008 6:16:00 PM
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csl7037
Posts: 2080
Joined: 3/24/2008
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quote:
ORIGINAL: deermousie
These people have driven a wedge between themselves and God, and their salvation is in question (not that they lose it, but their behavior advertizes they never had it to begin with).
I don't readily differ with deermousie but I must say I don't think we can (or should) question anyone's salvation because they've fallen into sin. I think it warrants caution to handle this situation gently, in love, and appropriately - hence my warning above about gossip. If you're in a position of spiritual authority in her life, and if she sees you as such, you may need to counsel her - gently and in love. As a person in such authority, you also have to reign in others in the group who may know what's going on and not let this girl be attacked or harshly judged...it will only embitter her and run her off.
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RE: need some advice - 12/3/2008 7:08:11 PM
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deermousie
Posts: 1943
Joined: 9/26/2007
Status: online
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quote:
ORIGINAL: csl7037
I don't readily differ with deermousie but I must say I don't think we can (or should) question anyone's salvation because they've fallen into sin.
What I meant is, if the gal flatly refuses to turn from her sin, it could be an indication that she isn't saved, and her pastor then knows how to minister to her. The solution for a nonChristian is different than a Christian. That's all I meant; sorry I wasn't clear.
You are right, Csl, that this situation warrents caution and discernment. Gal. 6:1 says the spiritually mature is to go to those brothers "surprised" by sin and gently help them back.
quote:
I think it warrants caution to handle this situation gently, in love, and appropriately - hence my warning above about gossip. If you're in a position of spiritual authority in her life, and if she sees you as such, you may need to counsel her - gently and in love. As a person in such authority, you also have to reign in others in the group who may know what's going on and not let this girl be attacked or harshly judged...it will only embitter her and run her off.
This certainly wouldn't be the business of the rest of the group. Discretion is needed. Any people talking about could be asked to not discuss it.
_____________________________
Want to know where a certain word or phrase in the Bible is found? www.biblegateway.com Yay!
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